Chapter Seven

Saturday Morning

Breathing in deeply Spencer took a moment to fully wake as he enjoyed the familiar weight of Dereks head on his chest and arm around his waist. A look at the clock said they had slept in and as per usual lately they would be hurrying to make up the lost time, though he felt bad for having to wake him as the alcohol hadn't been his friend the night before. Derek hadn't drank too heavily but what he had obviously hadn't settled well and it had him emptying the contents of his stomach early that morning. He himself had stayed in bed as he knew how Derek was with showing vulnerability and had wanted to give him the extra space, he had kept himself semi-awake though as he waited to feel that dip in the bed before finally drifting off again.

"Derek," he began rousing as he pushed a few stray hairs from his face. "get up." Derek was a deep sleeper, especially when he was comfortable but to Spencers dismay he was starting to feel pinned and uncomfortable. "Derek," he sighed exasperatedly as he pushed lightly on his shoulder. "I've got to use the bathroom." Normally the whine in that would have gotten him somekind of response or even a laugh and the fact that it hadn't had him worried as he used extra force to push himself up.

"Derek," The man was lying on his stomach and hadn't readjusted himself from where he had slid from Spencers torso. "Derek wake up." He knew his voice was higher than it should be but the feeling creeping into the pit of his stomach had him near frozen with fear. "Babe," He began shaking Dereks shoulder roughly. "Babe this isn't funny." Fear had flown out the window as panic set in and he rose to his knees to turn the unmoving man. "I'm not laughing." He didn't trust what his eyes were showing him as he layed his head against the broad chest, he was indeed not laughing when he didn't find the sound he was looking for and the tears started streaming, when he had to admit to himself that no matter who the person no heartbeat mant no life.

"No, ... I'm going to get you some help and everything's going to be okay." He pushed himself up with shaky hands as he began reaching blindly for his phone. "You're going to be okay Derek."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

They didn't get many Saturdays off and he had already planned this one out perfectly with Jack. They had been in the middle of a soccer game when he got a text from Reid that said, 911 come quick, and he had to once again disappoint the little boy, Reid just better hope it was for an actual emergency or he'd soon be regretting his actions.

"Reid!" The front door was open and the hairs on the back of his neck had stood straight up. "Reid!" Something felt wrong and if he had his gun on him he would've pulled it. Deciding it best not to call out again he carefully made his way through the first floor, finding it empty except for the dog who had been closed in the mud room he continued up the stairs where he could hear the faintest mumbling which he followed to the bedroom at the end of the hall.

"Reid?" He wasn't sure what he was looking at as he watched Spencer pulling his fingers up and down Dereks arm gently his head resting on Dereks chest. He was about to turn around and leave not seeing any reason his presence would have been wanted and feeling like he was interrupting a private moment but Spencer lifted his head right then and the tears and absolute pain he saw in those eyes kept him standing in the doorway.

"He needs help Hotch." Those words had him moving to the side of the bed where he took his first real look at Morgan. The first glance had a horrid knot in his stomach and as he reached slightly shaking fingers down he prayed to God that he'd feel a pulse and bit his lip to keep it together when he didn't. "He's..."

"He's going to wake up!" Spencer shook his head furiously as he curled closer to his husband.

"We both know he wont." He whispered as the weight of things began sinking in and his eyes began to blur and burn with tears he refused to let surface.

"He's just tired Hotch,... He just, he just needs a little more sleep." How he wished it were true.

"Spencer he isn't sleeping." The shake that had taken over Reids body had him worried and he knew it was time to move him away from Derek.

"No... No, Don't say that!" He screamed as he began pulling on Derek once more. "He's gonna... he's gonna wake up. Derek! Derek!"

"Spencer" He couldn't bring himself to do much more than watch as Spencer burried his face into Dereks neck and pounded a fist against his chest.

"No Hotch! He wouldn't miss today! We've got an appointment. . . . remember Derek... remember, your baby wants a baby. We're going to start our family, we've got to start our family Derek!" He sobbed as he pulled himself even closer looking for the warmth that had been there mere hours ago.

"Come on Spencer." Aaron pulled slightly on the other mans arm as he blinked back a few tears that were threatening to make themselves known with this news.

"No! Just... Just come back Derek." He pulled away from Hotchs hands as he laid his head back down on his lovers chest. "My mom's gone, you're all I have left. Baby, just please.. please don't go!"

"Spencer he can't stay here like this, we've got to get him help like you wanted." Hotch pleaded as he tried again to pull the man from the bed none surprisingly having his hands smacked away though he continued to try.

"I'm not dumb! He's dead and once they take him away I'll never get him back!" He sat up to look Hotch in the eye, he didn't appreciate the way the man had tried to trick him. "I'm not going to do that, I can't. He is all I have Hotch, I can't leave him alone like that."

"He's gone Spencer." He had seen hundreds of crime scenes but none of them compared to standing in a room with a dead friend and it had his stomach flipping uneasily.

"I know," Spencer sniffled though he didn't even bother with trying to clear his face. "He left me Hotch. He swore... he swore he wouldn't and he did. He lied, he promised... he promised me..." He choked on another sob as he layed back down on the other man giving him a hug that would never be returned. "We were going to have a yard full of kids, and we were going to get clooney a friend, and we were... we were" He stopped as he tried to catch some air but the sobs only got worse as the tears continued to burn his eyes. "You said forever Derek!"

"Spencer breathe." He had no choice but to push his quickly growing anguish to the side as he physically removed him from the bed as he began gasping for breath kicking and fighting as he dragged him into the hallway. "Breathe" He went with him as Spencer sank to the floor where he pulled his knees to his chest.

"He said forever." Spencer whispered hoarsely as he hid his face in his arms, his throat was on fire and his chest felt to tight for anyones good but he couldn't honestly bring himself to care.

Aaron wasn't sure what to do as he sat next to the man with his back to the wall finally allowing a few of his own tears to fall, no words would be able to fix the gaping hole that had just been opened within Spencer, nor the cracks he could feel beginning to split within. "He promised me forever."