I Need To Find Myself
Songs: Cherry Blossom by Kiyoshi Yoshida (In my opinion the best musical rendition to this chapter), and Ricky Martin: Tu Recuerdo (Yep, I had to add a Spanish song on this one)
It's been a while; I've been suffering from intense writer's block along with the fact that I've been so incredibly busy I haven't been able to find the time to not only write but even read up on some of my fav. fanfiction stories (Plus, I've kiiiinda been getting sucked into WOW [World of Warcraft]). Thankfully, I finally managed to grasp some relief from this annoying block for the time being and updated; I really enjoyed writing this chapter for all of you as it is one I've been anticipating to write for a very long time, pretty much since I first thought out the plot for this story. Brace yourselves, enjoy, and don't be shy to review; as I am very much looking forward to reading your reactions for this one…
A new dawn has risen over the Fire Nation; its sun gracing the land with its radiance as rays of yellows and oranges blanketed the entire land. The wind sung quiet hymns through every tree as it danced alongside every chirping bird that soared through the sky, while a peaceful standstill settled throughout even the wildest parts of the Great Nation; the brutal cycle of life has ceased on this morning as the most untamed and savage animals of the most basic form of creation bellowed their heavy grunts to the sky. In civilization, children sang songs of cheer alongside their mothers, not one babe cried on this divine morning all nestled in their nurturer's arms as they suckled her milk without trouble; while fathers, brothers, and men of all statures and ranks prepped themselves elegantly for the glorious day ahead of them. Nature alongside humankind was in pure celebration; for on this day, Aang, the Avatar and the Last Airbender, the bridge between the Mortal and Spirit world, will unite in holy matrimony with his life mate, and in the presence of all, they will become one…
But not all was as merry as it seemed in the Great Nation, for within the small, dark home on the far outskirts of the Main Plaza that sheltered the bride and groom, gloom settled amongst its atmosphere; so thick and overwhelming that one would swear it were like smog. Within that mentally toxic shelter the young Avatar called his home, he struggled to open his eyes as the paralysis of sleep began to wear off of his body; forcefully awaking him from the comfort of his slumber and bringing him into a world he longingly wished he no longer existed in.
"Ugh…morning already?" groaned the groggy, young Avatar as he placed the palm of his hand over his face; his expression deep in tire and weariness as he squint the remaining bit exhaustion from his worn eyes.
Aang knew what this day meant; he knew well that today, on this day, he would exchange vows and be forever bonded in sacred union with Onji, the woman he has professed to be his lover for about a year. Dejection was all he could feel at the thought of marrying her, a woman he didn't love, and yet here he is; emptily claiming her as his bride-to-be before every witness of every Nation on Earth. He couldn't stand the thought of it; he knew Onji bore no fault for his inability to return her deep affection, and yet he couldn't help but do just that, think about how all of this could've been different…and remorse. The young Avatar rose from his position of slumber as he moved towards the edge of the bed and placed his bare feet onto the cold, oak floor; resting his elbows on his knees as he stared blankly towards the heavily dense door that led to the restroom. A slight, dull ache still remained within the confinement of his cranium from the previous night's ordeal; the pulsations gradually increasing and decreasing in intensity as he rested his face on the delusive safety of his open palms; trying desperately to find alleviation from the sporadic throbs that continued to forcefully drill into his cerebral nerves. Cold sweat still heavily coated his damp flesh as though his suffering occurred only moment ago and even now he still has no idea how or why he experienced such excruciating pain the previous night. But even though the answer to that very question eluded him, the seventeen year old Avatar had no time to dwell on any possible reasons; for he was too busy mentally preparing himself for what would become the epitome of the revival of his people, the Air Nomad Race. It is up to him and only him to bring the culture that was wiped off the face of the Earth over a century ago back to life for the sole purpose of restoring balance to the world; such a heavy burden it is for him to carry, and one he wished he had the opportunity to wait longer to achieve.
But once again, the young Avatar reminded himself that this was not a time to reflect on physical or personal quarrel; pressing his fingers tightly on his forehead as he attempted to shake those ineffective thoughts plaguing his mind, "Aang, snap out of it; there's nothing you can do now, this must be done." said Aang silently to himself as he rubbed the small beads of sweat that tickled his brow away, "I'm the last Airbender; I have to do this…because no one else can…" whispered Aang solemnly to himself as he tilted his head towards his knees and gripped his biceps; reminding himself that this was a step to securing spiritual order, something he was obligated to do as the balancer and protector of his planet. But even though his reasoning was just, Aang couldn't resist feeling great shame for acting solely on his flesh in order to achieve something he perceived to be both emotionally and spiritually significant as well as vital to the continuation of the Avatar cycle. Nevertheless; today is a day in which he must carry forth his responsibility; for the entire world is depending on him to preserve the little harmony that the Earth still harbors, even if everyone is unaware that he is doing so at the cost of his own personal happiness.
This important day is one that will forever remain written in history texts across every Nation as the day the Last Airbender united in holy matrimony with a common woman native to the Fire Nation; a Nation Aang was very much aware had customs very different to his own. Once again, the young Avatar found his thoughts wandering around territory he knew didn't help his cause. A terrible feeling trailed from his fingertips to the core of his body as his devoid gaze meagerly trailed the floor below his feet at the thought of such a contradictory union, he knew well the many traditions he and Onji held different; from his abstinence of meat, to her lack of spirituality, but this was not the time for him to contemplate on his personal affairs with his fiancé, he knew this. Apathy soon followed and replaced his anxiety as he felt himself become detached; placing his feelings aside for the sake of conserving the little peace he had with his decision to push forth in this mockery of a holy union.
The young Avatar inhaled fiercely from his nose and sighed as he rested his hands on the top of his thighs, "…I need to take a walk, I just… need to get my mind off of all of this unnecessary hoopla even if just for a moment..." said a fatigued Aang desperately as he moved his perspiring hands towards the back of his head; rubbing it as though he were attempting to rub all of his tension away with every brush of his hands as he rose from his sitting position and began a steady stride around the guestroom.
As the young Avatar continued his pace, he became engulfed and lost in his thoughts; suddenly, he began to reminisce of his long dead culture. As he entangled his fingers behind his back, he proceeded to remember his life amongst his own; how he has almost forgotten what it's like to be amongst those like him, and how he missed his old way of life. He knew his people wouldn't approve of his situation, for as a young boy growing up surrounded by nothing near the resemblance of marital union, Aang along with other Air Nomads his age were taught at the tender age of twelve that unlike the rest of the Nations on Earth, Air Nomads did not participate in any form of civil or formal union; in other words, Air Nomads did not formally marry. As a matter of fact, any form of matrimony between two people was non-existent within his culture; Monk Gyatso disclosed the reasons to that reality very clear the day he and Aang had a 'talk', a special consultation that all Airbenders were required to listen to before they received their markings of mastery…
The wise monk; his eyes blue as ice and his facial hair smooth and fair, sat comfortably on the ground in a meditative position as he spoke to the latest pupil of the Southern Air Temple that was to receive his Airbender's tattoos of mastery, "… The only form of love an Airbender should share is to be pure and innocent, Aang." said Monk Gyatso.
The twelve year old Avatar, a couple of months shy of the day he learned of his supernatural identity, sat before him wearing nothing but his undergarments as he waited patiently for his final initiation; a befuddled expression in his eyes as he struggled to process what his mentor just finished professing to him. "Well, isn't love innocent in itself?" asked Aang as he readjusted his sitting on the grainy cement ground.
Monk Gyatso paused for a moment; a blank, emotionless stare in his eyes, "No…not always Aang." answered Gyatso in his usual mellow tone of voice.
Aang lightly nodded his head from left to right, almost in disbelief by the Master Airbender's subtle, yet cold answer, "I don't understand…we've always been taught that love is universal and good, so how can love not be innocent?" answered Aang as he scratched the back of his head, dumbfounded by this new ideology he was being exposed to.
Monk Gyatso knew well of Aang's confusion; he was well aware that he was at an age in which all love seemed to be one in the same; in other words, he was at an age in which he viewed all forms of love through rose colored glasses. He wasn't sure how Aang would take in this 'new information' he was about to bestow upon him; but he knew that either way, he was going to try his best to try and bring him to a whole new level of understanding without confusing the boy too much. "Aang, love in its puuurest form IS universal and very good; you and I love each other, we love the other monks as they love us, it's a whole cycle of bliss. But… you see, romantic love ALWAYS comes at a price for us Airbenders." said the wise Monk delicately as he awaited further questions from the curious, young boy.
Aang leaned his head a little closer to the Master Airbender; he wanted to know so much more of this 'romantic love', and why it was so forbidden within his culture, "How so?" asked the young boy.
The wise Monk chuckled lightly to Aang's question; "Well, Aang…I'm going to explain this to you as simply as my abilities allow me to; just…try to keep an open mind about what I am about to tell you." suggested Gyatso kindly as a small smile emerged from his stern, shriveled lips.
Aang smiled eagerly as he nodded compliantly in return; hunching his back and leaning himself towards his mentor's direction with an innocent gleam in his eyes, anxiously waiting for his mentor to continue to explain his reason.
The wise Monk slightly raised his chin authoritatively as his lighthearted expression compressed itself; transforming his warm gaze into a callous and cold pierce, "You see Aang; romantic love is a genuine affection that one holds for just one person, a strong fondness solely focused on that very individual and no other. Now; this may sound wonderfully enchanting to you my young pupil, but this love, Aang, is accompanied by something called 'lust'." said Gyatso as he smoothed his beard with his long, withered fingers.
Aang's eyes slightly widened as he became more engaged in the conversation, "Lust? What's 'lust'?" asked the curious young boy as he tilted his head slightly; a desire to know more of this prohibited matter.
Monk Gyatso gulped lightly as he tried to figure out the right words to describe the word's meaning without delving 'too far' into the subject; after all, he wanted to keep their conversation as appropriate as he possibly could without any mention of anything he deemed 'unsuitable' for the young boy to hear. "Well, lust is when you…desire someone physically, a carnal urge to 'be' with someone. This carnal urge Aang, is not good for an Airbender's spiritual development in reaching Nirvana, although we have never spoken in detail of this matter young pupil, I'm sure by now you know well of the 'urge' I'm referring to." said the wise Monk as he slightly tilted his chin towards his chest; his eyes heavily focused on the young boy's as he continued what he considered to be an 'uncomfortable' explanation, "It's critical that all Airbenders abstain from acting on this type of physical want at all costs; hence why a romantic union is not advised to any Airbender willing to further his or her own spiritual advancement." answered Gyatso.
As soon as the wise Monk finished his sentence, Aang took his gaze off of his spiritual mentor bashfully as he fidgeted with his fingers; a strong blush coating his cheeks while he stared timidly towards the granulated wall by his side , for he knew very well of this 'carnal urge'. Although he's never once thought of actually 'being' with another girl, as the wise Monk subtly insinuated; he's experienced what Monk Gyatso was referring to many a times on his very own. The feeling of 'touching' himself was one that sent waves of pleasure throughout the entire lower region of his body, and one that was difficult to hold back from. But although he enjoyed such 'feelings', Aang comprehended well that he was a bit too young to be thinking about 'being with someone else'; yet he was also very much aware that the area 'down there' served a purpose much more invigorating and profound than just simply using it to relieve oneself in the restroom. Regardless, the young boy wasn't satisfied with such a basic answer; Aang quickly interrupted his thoughts as he proceeded to find more answers.
"Why is being 'intimate' with another person so bad for our spiritual advancement, Gyatso?" asked the young Airbender.
Gyatso quickly answered the young boy's question, "Well Aang; the goal of our people is to be as physically out of touch as we possibly can; we exert ourselves to reach the highest peak of spirituality that we possibly can, it is our life's goal Aang, you know this very well." explained the wise Monk, "Unlike the rest of the Nations, we view performing on carnal desire as acting on pleasure of the flesh, our flesh is opposite of our Spirit; therefore, we consider it to be poisonous, toxic to achieving Spiritual Oneness." answered Gyatso, "However Aang, there is an exception." said the wise Monk cryptically as his emotionless gaze wore heavy on the young boy.
Aang's focus once again jolted towards Monk Gyatso, who was staring into his storm grays with cautious eyes, "Exception?" asked Aang as he raised his eyebrow in curiosity.
The wise Monk nodded in agreement, "Yes Aang, there's an exception." answered Monk Gyatso, "You see, as much as we Airbenders strive to abstain from acting on our carnal desires, we owe our very existence to it. We rely on…performing, such an act of the flesh; without it, our people would become extinct-we need to reproduce in order to continue the Airbending cycle. So what we do, Aang, is agree to 'special' terms." explained the wise Monk.
The young boy jerked his head back, "Special terms? What kind of terms?" asked Aang as he relaxed his hands on the back of his head.
The wise Monk coughed hoarsely in his balled fist; attempting to clear the bit of tension he held in his throat, "Well, in order to engage in such an activity, one must be aware of the strict guidelines as well as the consequences that will come along with such an act. First and foremost Aang, if an Airbender chooses to engage in such activity, what we call 'sexual activity'; he or she must be a master Airbender, bearing the tattoos of mastery on his or her limbs and head." explained Monk Gyatso, "The Airbender has to also be at least within parameters of the youngest age of adulthood which, like the rest of the Nations as well as our own, is the age of sixteen." answered the wise Monk.
Aang placed his elbows on top of his crossed legs as he rested his jaw on the palms of his hands; continuing to listen to his mentor speak, attentively hearing every word he spoke as he soaked all of this new information like a sponge.
Gyatso had no intention to stop his explanation there; he wanted to make sure the young Avatar grasped every bit of this knowledge as he possibly could without knowing exactly 'how' it happens; no, that information will be reserved for him when he's a bit older. "Now, the consequence that such an action can bring is quite dire for an Airbender's spiritual health Aang; our culture strives on achieving metaphysical immaculacy, but you see, being 'physically intimate' with another can temporarily halter an Airbender's spiritual progression. The Airbender must be aware of this and be willing to temporarily hinder his or her own spiritual advancement for the sake of preserving his or her own race." explained the wise Monk, "Afterwards, he or she receives the liberty to choose a temporary partner to be with; this partner must also be willing and accepting of our guidelines." answered Gyatso, "After the careful process of choosing the 'right partner', both Airbenders carry on the deed in a select area of whichever temple they choose to mate for a short time. They do this for the sole purpose of reproduction; nothing more, nothing less." answered Gyatso sternly, "As soon as the deed is done, both Airbenders are once again separated, and they both return to their respected temples as if nothing happened; if the woman conceives, she is watched over closely and tended to by our sisters in the Eastern Air Temple until the child is born. The babe then remains with his or her mother for the first several months until he or she no longer needs her milk; soon after, the child is then transported to a nursing facility in the Western Air Temple where the child remains with his or her caretakers until he or she is old enough to be once again transported to the temple their caretakers deem fit for them, where they begin their vigorous Air bending training. It is in that chosen temple where the child will remain for the rest of his or her life; of course, you already know the last couple of bits I just finished telling you." said the wise Monk as a feeble chuckle escaped his mouth.
All of this knowledge was very intriguing to the young boy; after all, he's at a point in life in which his body is beginning to ask for 'relief' of his urges, and puberty is just around the corner, he couldn't help but feel somewhat excited about all of this. But there was a question the young Airbender was itching to ask.
"Do they even care about each other?" asked Aang timidly as he pressed the base of his index fingers together; pushing them against one another as a reaction to his abashment.
Gyatso raised his eyebrow to the curious, young boy's guiltless question; his ice blue eyes focused on his young pupil's modest demeanor, "Aang, of course they care about each other; just as we all care about one another." answered Monk Gyatso.
The young Airbender then tilted his head sweetly; disappointment growing heavy in his expression, "But, but you said there was an exception. The monks, do they stay together…in some way?" asked the young boy persistently as he rested his palms on the grainy, concrete ground.
The wise Monk knew the young Airbender would have a difficult time coming to terms with the reality of their ways; all he could do was shake his head, an expression of disappointment in his shut eyes. "No Aang." answered the young boy's mentor, "As I just finished explaining to you, both Airbenders return to their usual routine and way of life…as if nothing ever happened. The exception I spoke of was that of the act of physical intimacy; there is no romantic link, and no further contact is shared between them for the remainder of their lives here on Earth." answered the wise Monk bluntly.
Aang's expression turned somber; this was the first time he was personally spoken to about such a 'sensitive matter', but he couldn't help but feel somewhat empty about his mentor's explanation. Unbeknownst to Monk Gyatso, even though Aang was considered to be a spiritually enlightened, young boy; he wasn't rendered clueless to such an enticing act of nature during typical male conversation. The many times he has traveled to and fro and visited the other Nations, he heard many 'stories' about the subject here and there; listening and learning from the many 'experiences' his older, male friends in the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom have encountered. With every account, he was often reminded of how when his time comes to unite physically with the woman that will one day hold his heart, it will be both beautiful, passionate, and memorable; but the way Gyatso worded how Airbenders carry on this act made the young Airbender feel almost as though being personally and sexually intimate with the opposite sex was…mundane, plain and practical. At the tender age of twelve, Aang knew then that this sort of 'custom' was not something he ever wanted to participate in, no; he couldn't just share himself with a girl in what he was informed to be such a personal practice of love and then just walk away without feeling some sort of amorous attachment to that individual.
Monk Gyatso quickly noticed Aang's eager expression depress itself; his glimmering eyes quickly dimmed with unhappiness before him as he gazed condemningly at his un-tattooed limbs; the wise Monk assumed this information would have probably been difficult for a boy as young as Aang to ingest, and immediately attempted to comfort the young pupil he knew would one day be recognized by the entire world as the Avatar. "Aang…I don't expect you to act on such obscene behavior anytime soon; you are far, and I mean FAR too young to engage in such actions." said the wise Monk consolably, "However, this was something that you needed to know, for in a short while, you will receive your physical symbols of mastery and be officially known as a master Airbender. This knowledge that I have given you is one that every Airbender must know before he or she bears such markings symbolic to Spiritual progression in our culture; so think of this as some sort of…head start, now you have all of this time to contemplate whether or not you wish to take part in this tradition in the future." explained the wise Monk, a sincere smile formed between the silk strands of white as he placed a comforting hand on the young Avatar's shoulder, while Aang returned the smile weakly to his mentor, knowing that he needn't any time to think about the matter, for he has already made that very decision just moments ago…
"…now you have all of this time to contemplate whether or not you wish to take part in this tradition in the future…"
That one sentence repeated itself continuously in his mind; the very memory of that conversation evaporating from his psyche as the young Avatar found himself returning back to the reality he wished he could escape from. Suddenly, the young Avatar was once again haunted by his own decisions. He began to think of how he never once imagined he'd find himself in the very grim predicament he was so strongly opposed of, engaging in obscenity with an empty heart; yet despite the common occurrence of these mental disturbances, he still found the strength to console himself with rational thought. He tried desperately to convince himself that although he now finds himself in the very bleak situation he once told himself long ago he would never partake in; having to regrettably engage in sexual activity with a woman he doesn't love for the sake of procreation, if it weren't for the sole purpose of bringing back the Air Nomads to the world, the very concept of being erotically physical with the woman he calls his fiancé would be nonexistent. But in spite of attempting to once again legitimize his actions, that incredible amount of guilt began to overwhelm him when it came to the thought of deceiving the young Fire Nation woman; how awful he felt for making a mockery of that promise he made to himself long ago as well as fooling his innocent wife-to-be into thinking that he is exchanging vows with her out of affection, whereas the truth of his motive to marry lies within his ultimate task to reproduce…and only his task.
As his focus darted aimlessly towards every direction surrounding him, he scoffed to himself; folding his arms over one another as he bit his lower lip in agitation. Anxiety soon followed as if crept up every nerve in his body; how he tried to fight those interfering thoughts, but he just couldn't, it was too much for the young Avatar to hold inside any longer and pretend as if everything was fine and right in his life.
"Looks like I already made that decision, Gyatso..." whispered Aang sorrowfully to himself as he took a seat on the edge of the guest bed, apologetically speaking to the nothingness that surrounded him as his eyes began to swell with moisture; tears slowly escaping from the confinement of his lower eyelids as steady streams flowed gently down his flushed cheeks. Tremble began to slowly seep from the tips of his fingers to the base of his hands; traveling and consuming his arms and soon after, his entire body. Without warning, he hunched his back, and let it all out; all of that pain, all of that anger and hate he felt and bottled within the safety of the back of his mind throughout the past year just manifested itself in cry, all on his lonesome, spilling his pain on his worn trousers as he clenched his teeth in response to his emotional pain.
As fresh tears continued to seep from his depressed eyes, the young Avatar continued to reminisce on the memory of that conversation he held with Monk Gyatso; once again temporarily escaping his existence through thought as he rested his head on his quivering palm. He remembered that as a young boy, he was well aware that a traditional family could never exist amongst his own kind for the sake of personal freedom as well as spiritual progression; but when his mentor told him he couldn't ever be romantically involved with another, he remembered having a somewhat difficult time adjusting to the concept of never experiencing affection on such a personal level. Nevertheless, he comprehended that such a love just could not and did not exist in the young Avatar's culture; spiritual health was of the utmost importance, and after learning the purpose of the 'customs' his people partook in from his most beloved mentor and friend, he understood the reason for his race's preference of abstinence. Even though the knowledge Monk Gyatso bestowed upon the young Avatar was a difficult truth for the young Avatar to come to terms with, it was never a real issue for him. As time went on, he realized that he was perfectly fine with the idea of living the rest of his life without sharing such a strong, personal bond with another, for at the time the only thing that concerned him was just being a normal, Airbending kid; striving to become one of the best Airbenders around, while struggling with his newly found identity as the ultimate protector of the Earth. Of course, all of that changed in the blink of an eye… on the moment he laid eyes on a young water bending beauty that hailed from the Southern Water Tribe; their gaze meeting each other after being freed from the confinement of the iceberg that imprisoned him and his animal companion for a century.
From the moment his stone grays locked to her ocean blues, that 'conversation' he had with Monk Gyatso had become but dust in the wind. That day changed his entire life forever, for on that day, that young girl he would soon know as 'Katara' inspired the young Avatar. In spite of the fact that he willingly stood faithful and true to every aspect and custom of his culture, that young water bender awakened a drive inside of him to obtain that love that contradicted the values of his people ; he wanted to experience it, live it, and enjoy it one day…with her, regardless of the 'spiritual concequences'. And although according to Air Nomad theology his spiritual progression began to dwindle the moment he ended his sexual celibacy with Katara those many months ago, he never once regretted it; for that very first night he broke his spiritual vow just to be with that ebony beauty was more than worth it... granted that it meant just being with her for the very first, and what he now certain was the last time. Even if the responsibility to revive his extinct culture wasn't of such great importance, if he had just one more opportunity to be with that water bender, he'd gladly put his own spiritual progression to the side for the rest of his life to make her his wife; to feel her invigorating warmth with his own, willfully sacrificing his prominent status in the ethereal so that he may physically express his eternal love for her for the remainder of his days without any repentance. But despite the issue of intimacy, Aang knew being sexual with Katara was never a factor to the love he has always felt for her; just having her by his side as his woman and lover, sharing their affection solely on innocence, having a family with her, growing old with her, sharing all the simplest joys of life with her was his ultimate desire. Calling her 'his' as he once did not too long ago is all the young Avatar desires to maintain him in infinite bliss and happiness, but although that is now but a dead dream and an opportunity long lost; he feels very fortunate to have at least experienced such a powerful, everlasting love in this lifetime, for not many people are so lucky to encounter something so wonderfully meaningful. He will continue to love that Southern Water Tribe beauty from afar, even if her love is no longer his for the taking.
Aang wiped his tear trails dry with the back of his hand as a small smile emanated from his expression, "So long as you're happy Katara; that's all the comfort I need…" said the forlorn Avatar proudly as he gulped in his throat; quickly discarding his aching thoughts as he found solace in the concept of Katara's happiness. The young Avatar then rose from the guest bed and walked towards the chair on the other side of the room that held his royal groom outfit.
Aang took one look at the royal ensemble, once again being reminded as to why he detested it so much since the very first time he was presented with it. You see in the young Avatar's opinion, the outfit itself wasn't all that bad; a black suit with red and gold stripes in its middle which is the standard to Fire Nation style, but the accessories that accompanied it made the entire ensemble look incredibly…tacky. Gold armor was sewed onto the shoulders of his top, gold arm braces accompanying it as they too were sewn over the top's sleeves. But the one thing he hated, the one thing he loathed so much about the whole ensemble was the fact that the outfit itself didn't resemble or bear ANYTHING native to his culture. Sure, he bore the symbol of the Air Nomad race in his belt buckle, but it's been infused with the Fire Nation insignia in its middle; the one thing that he could claim as a symbol of his pride and honor for his Nation, his emblem, and it's been 'mildly altered', as one of his tailors lightly put it. He could just show up without it; wearing his usual, traditional attire and staying true to his pride, but he knew innocent people took the time to make it, and he knew the tailors that tended to it under strict supervision of the World council as well as the bride-to-be only meant well. Onji as well as Fire Lord Zuko and Fire Lady Mai insisted that he wear it, 'You'll look great' they said, 'You'll look fantastic' they said, and it would be insulting and disgraceful if he were to reject the ensemble out of selfishness; no, the Avatar has a lot of respect for those who take the time to tend to his needs, and he was going to prove it by presenting himself in front of the World wearing what he considered to be a ridiculous outfit.
The young Avatar sighed disappointingly as he smacked his tongue with the roof of his mouth, "Well, let's get this over with." said the young Avatar unenthusiastically as he picked up his 'finely tailored' attire and walked into the restroom; repulse heavy in his expression as he shut the door quietly behind him.
The streets within the heart of the Fire Nation were calm and quiet; the celebration and lively festivities that befell the previous night had long ceased, leaving the streets barren with the exception of small, disposable remnants of the jamboree that took place the night before, eerily being carried by the spontaneous gust's grasp. Every home lay empty, not a single soul to be found within every direction of the Main Land; for all have taken leave from their usual routine to witness the event of the century that was to take place within the gates of the Fire Lord's Palace. Yes, every native as well as every individual that flocked from every Nation was now taking their seats behind those enormous metal gates; leaving every home devoid of human life, that is, except one small home located on the barren outskirts of the Main Plaza by the Nation's harbor. In that small home, a young water bender laid deathly ill in a heavily cushioned bed; cotton sheets covering her frailty as healers tried desperately to relieve her of the anguish her erratic illness brought her the night before. Assistants placed cool, moist towels on her forehead; changing them on a punctual, hourly basis to relieve her fluctuating temperature, while the healers themselves prepared medicinal herbs that temporarily eased her pain. But even with all of the hard work they have put in the ailing water bender, the healers knew there was very little chance for her to recover from her malady; her condition was slowly worsening, and despite their best efforts, they're just unable to stabilize her with even their strongest medicines and remedies. 'We must remove the child', the healers instructed her, 'It is the only way for you to have any chance of survival' they advised; but the water bender wanted to hear nothing of it.
"If my child cannot survive, then I will not survive…" the expectant mother declared weakly; exhaustion heavy in her appearance, nearly rendering her unable to speak in her debilitated form as warm sweat trickled from her glimmering brow.
The healers and assistants exchanged shocked glances at one another, surprised by this young lady's tremendous amount of love for her unborn babe, and by her foolish decision to die rather than give herself a fighting chance; it was almost unheard of. Nevertheless, they were very much aware that the only thing they could do was sustain her for a short time, and after their failed attempts to better the young water bender, they began to treat her as a hospice patient; doing their absolute best to make the young, expectant mother as comfortable as they possibly could. That was all they were able to do for the ailing woman, for they knew that it was only a matter of time before the young water bender would slip into a comatose state…and never wake up.
The ailing water bender's lover, Lee; stood in the main hall of the care facility's door. His woman's employer as well as close friend, Iroh, intended to inform her family of the grave news; and there the young Fire Nation native stood, awaiting the arrival of his woman's family in the main lobby of the dispensary. This, however, couldn't be the worst time to come face to face with her; for just moments ago, his woman confessed the most unfathomably awful secret she was set to tell him just seconds before her illness took a turn for the worst back home, leaving the young Fire Nation native wishing he never even existed.
A lost expression displayed itself in the young man's ember eyes as his mind kept mercilessly repeating that fateful conversation he had with Katara; utter worthlessness was all he could feel, petty and cheap.
"How…how could she…do this to me? To us?" thought Lee to himself as he balled his fists; feeling extreme rage, hopelessness and hurt as a lump of tension began to swell in his throat, unable to swallow it down as it continued to feed on his growing angst. Lee felt as though his skin were crawling with millions of tiny ice picks, bewildered by the reality of his situation and unable to make sense as to where he went wrong; wondering why she was pushed to perform such a disgraceful act and make wrong of the special bond he assumed they shared.
His emotional affliction soon became so immense that for a brief moment, the young Fire Nation Native grew numb to his surroundings; slipping and falling out of touch with reality as his mind plunged him into infinite darkness. Within the obscurity of his thoughts, he began to 'physically' see the object of his ultimate detestation, and the undeniable reason the foundation of his relationship with Katara crumbled beneath their feet. Little by little he deciphered the details manifesting before his eyes; he immediately made out that medallion he wore around his neck, his pastel yellow robes, and his gypsy-styled shoes. But it was the most prominent feature he bore that completed the figure before him: that arrow; tattooed in light blue on the base of his forehead as its tail trailed to the back of his head and down his neck. Betrayal was all he felt as the figure stared back at him with ominous eyes; biting the skin in his mouth as he slowly became consumed in his own quiet resentment for the figure that stood casually before him. This man shook his hand and looked him in the eye with a straight face, this man, spoke to him, conversed with him, and befriended him; this man belonged to another…as Katara once belonged to him. He called him 'friend', and he trusted him…
"You…how…could you…"
But he was unable to dwell in his torturous thoughts for very long, for as soon as he was about to delve further in his undeserving bitterness, every member of Katara's immediate family; Sokka, Suki, Hakoda, Kanna, and Pakku along with Toph, her lover, Mana, and several healers of the Northern Water Tribe, including its prominent head Yugoda, became visible from within a couple of feet's distance of the facility's entrance, snapping the Fire Nation Native out of his demented daze. Without a second to spare and not an ounce of rationality in them, each and every one of them frantically ran towards the entryway; trying to forcefully squeeze through the narrow threshold to the small vicinity that housed the ailing, young water bender, vicious in their attempt as if they were a herd of wild canyon crawlers frenziedly scavenging for their next meal.
Within the cluster of family members and friends, The young water bender's brother grunted loudly as he felt the tip of his blind friend's elbow push its way into his lower stomach, "Could you PLEASE get your elbow out of my gut, Toph!" exclaimed Sokka annoyingly as he along with everyone else alongside him attempted to get through the tight entryway.
Toph scoffed at Sokka's request as her only free limb flailed around the empty space in front of her, "Hmph! Well, MAYBE if you move your big BEEHIND out of the way, us thin people can get through!" grunted the blind earth bender as she attempted to push her lover, Mana, out of the enormous human knot she along with the rest of the group unintentionally formed with their own bodies.
The water bender's sister-in-law, trapped between her husband's underarm and the blind earth bender's small, perky breast, hollered fiercely at the two bickering friends, "Could you BOTH JUST SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF THE WAY? I'M KIND OF TRAPPED IN HERE!" screamed Suki as she squirmed between their immovable grips on her upper torso.
Then, another voice emanated from the cluster of bodies, "How'sss….about I…use that water from that fountain back there *sigh* and water bend ALL OF YOU into OBLIVION so that Kanna and I can get through?" wheezed Master Pakku menacingly to the three friends with a cunning glare in his eyes as he writhed amidst the jumble; attempting to free himself and his wife from the tight clasp of bodies between them.
But just as tempers were beginning to flare and a screaming match was about to ensue within the group; without warning, the wooden rim of the entryway started to give way. Its edge soon splintered as the pressure of the crowd proved to be too much for it to sustain; seconds after sounds of split wood echoed in everyone's ears, the cluster popped through the entryway; all of them gasping as they collapsed on the soft floor atop one another with great force, while pieces of softwood scattered towards every direction of the ground.
As groans and moans emanated from the human pile that lay on the carpeted floor, Fire Nation boots slowly approached the group and stopped just a couple of feet away from the discombobulation of human bodies that lay pathetically on the ground.
Hakoda, who lay beneath the mayhem, stared at the feet standing before him; his eyes trailing upward to meet the figure standing casually in front of him and his family. When his eyes finally made its way to the figure's top and caught glimpse of the person's face, his expression lit up and his eyes brightened with optimism; somehow, he managed to find the strength to crawl through his fallen relatives as he eagerly freed himself from the pile's clutch.
"Lee!" exclaimed the young water bender's father exhaustively as he regained his footing and rose to meet the father of his unborn grandchild.
But Lee didn't return his joy; on the contrary, his expression was cold, stern and stout. Not a word was uttered from the young Fire Nation native; he simply stared at his father-in-law with blank eyes as they met with the Water Tribe Warrior's sharp blues.
Hakoda, however, paid no mind to his son-in-law's strange demeanor; for his only concern at the moment was his daughter and her unborn child's health. The Warrior dove his hands onto Lee's shoulders; lightly squeezing him as he gazed into his amber colored eyes in desperation.
"We came as soon as Iroh told us what happened." said the water bender's father; his expression dismal and anxious, "Lee, Lee please; tell me my daughter and that baby are alright." pleaded Hakoda as he tightened his grip on the Fire Nation native's shoulders.
Lee still didn't answer to the Water Tribe Warrior; anger beginning to reflect sharply in his demeanor.
Hakoda gazed into his son-in-law's ember colored eyes with a questionable expression, "Lee…PLEEEASE for the love of all that is good, say something!" exclaimed Hakoda as the glimmer in his widened eyes began to quiver.
The Fire Nation native once again denied the Water Tribe warrior acknowledgment to his desperate plea; a vacant glare in his expression.
Hakoda jerked back for a moment; relieving his grip on the young man's shoulders as he finally began to take notice to Lee's strange behavior, tilting his head as he tried to mentally analyze and figure out why the normally cheerful, optimistic young man was acting so out of the norm.
Sokka, however, was less patient about Lee's inability to give details as to his sister's condition, and wasn't so pleased with his rather quiet brother in law's unwillingness to talk, "Hey man, what gives?" asked Sokka as he flung his hands agitatedly into the air.
Suki also questioned his sister-in-law's lover's reluctance to abide Hakoda's implore, "Yeah; what's with the silent treatment, Lee?" asked the young water bender's sister-in-law as she folded her arms over one another.
The Fire Nation Native still refused to speak; his lips paralyzed, callously gazing at everyone in the room as though they were at fault for his misfortune.
But just as they were going to further question the young man, Katara's main healer approached from the doorway.
"Lee, is this her family?" asked the healer.
Suddenly, Lee snapped out of his fierce trance on Katara's loved one; his eyes transforming before everyone as they began to reflect the great sorrow and misery he truly felt.
Lee slowly turned his head to meet the nurse's gaze, "Yes, yes they are." said the young Fire Nation native; a sweet, yet sorrowful tone in his voice as he answered the nurse's question.
Abruptly, the head of the group of healers that temporarily abandoned their position back in the Northern Water Tribe; traveling such a long distance alongside the young water bender's family to personally give the ill water bender a proper healing session, intervened in the conversation.
"Please, let us tend to young Katara; perhaps our remedies may help her with her ailment." suggested Yugoda, who happened to be holding several small vials of water that were exported directly from the Spirit Oasis, the most spiritual center in all of the North Pole; her assistants also held items of great importance in their grasps; thuribles made of fine silver, along with incense and potent medicinal herbs found exclusively on the very rim of the pool the Ocean and Moon Spirits dwell. They were ready to treat the expectant mother, and were hoping that they weren't too late.
The healer couldn't deny help that was willingly offered; she could see in their exterior that these women knew much on medicinal remedies and could somehow aid the young, expectant mother in ways she along with the other healers could not. Without hesitation, the head healer of the dispensary nodded agreeably to Yugoda; gesturing the small group to follow her as every healer disappeared into the long, dark hall that led to Katara's room, leaving behind the young water bender's family along with her lover, behind.
As Lee, Hakoda, and the rest of the group watched the healers enter the room that housed Katara, Hakoda gazed towards the young Fire nation native; a frightful look in his eyes as he once again placed his shoulders on the Fire Nation native's shoulders. "Lee" whispered Hakoda; "Please, tell me what's going on." demanded an immensely worried Hakoda; anxiety and dread flowing through his veins over the reminiscence of his daughter's failing condition.
A doleful expression once again emanated from Lee's eyes; "She's stable and conscious, for now; but all in all, it doesn't look good." answered Lee; his eyes swimming with torment as his demeanor stood cold and lifeless.
The Warrior that hailed from the Southern Water Tribe didn't seem to notice "Oh, thank the Spirits she's at the very least stable." said Hakoda gratefully; hurt still emitting from his eyes, but a glimmer of hope beginning to emerge from his pained appearance .
Lee simply exchanged a nonchalant stare with the Water Tribe Warrior; his expression still and dead.
That's when everyone in the room noticed his departed demeanor; Sokka being the first to point out the Fire Nation Native's strange behavior, "Lee, why are you acting so weird?" asked Sokka concernedly as he scratched his eyebrow with tip of his index finger.
Lee didn't respond; he simply shook his head continuously, pressing his lips as he shot his bleak gaze away from everyone.
Hakoda jerked his head back; a questionable expression in his eyes, "What's WRONG Lee? For goodness sake, SAY SOMETHING!" exclaimed Hakoda commandingly; his patience for the young man beginning to wear thin.
Lee opened his eyes lazily; his ember colored irises reflecting white as they began to glisten from the moisture that was building up from within his swelling eyelids, "Katara wanted to tell you herself..." said Lee gloomily as he rubbed his face; his palm traveling to the back of his head as he uneasily smoothed the back of his jet black hair.
A scowl emanated from Hakoda's visual expression, "Tell us?" asked the Southern Water Tribe Warrior as he squint his eyes suspiciously; while the entire group that accompanied the young water bender's father exchanged glances and whispers, questioning the ailing woman's request.
"What's so important that she has to tell all of us?" asked Toph in her quite rare, caring tone of voice as she held her lover, Mana, by her waist; for as much as she and Katara have had their differences in the past, she truly cared for the expectant mother's wellbeing and considered her to be one of her very closest friends she's ever had.
Lee's focus briefly darted towards the blind earthbender as she affectionately caressed her woman, only to once again meet with Hakoda's cautious gaze; he simply looked into his lover's father's sharp blue eyes and quietly answered the earth bender's question, "Please, just follow me…" said a detached Lee as he turned his back to everyone who came such a long way to see the Avatar's grand wedding, only to rush and see the young water bender for what Lee comprehended would be for the very last time.
Back outside of the household that sheltered the most popular celebrity in the Fire Nation, the young Avatar stood by his beloved Sky Bison; wearing the appalling outfit he considered to be deemed fit for a clown as he scrubbed beneath his animal companion's fluffy exterior, his other hand holding a long, hooded cloak along with his staff, the very staff an eccentric inventor who occupies the Northern Air Temple crafted especially for the Avatar long ago. How Aang strongly disliked his marital ensemble, but that was the least of the young Avatar's worries, for not very long from now, in the eyes of the law, he will become a married man.
"Married man, I'm going to be married. *chuckle* Never thought it would happen this way." thought Aang dismally to himself.
But he hadn't the time to dwell on unnecessary thoughts, and as Aang halted his lengthy massage on his animal friend's soft coat, he leaned towards the giant bison's ear and covered the side of his mouth; "Alright buddy, here's the plan." whispered the groom-to-be, "You take off and fly to the Palace; Zuko'll be waiting for you there." said Aang as he pulled away from Appa's ear; walking around him until he was directly face to face with the mythological creature. "In the meantime, I'll hoof it; that way, I can remain inconspicuous." explained the young Avatar as he gave the giant Sky Bison an endearing smile; wrinkling his nose while his eye squint sweetly.
Appa turned his enormous face towards his caretaker as he groaned in compliance to his human companion's plan; while Aang patted the giant sky bison gently on his giant, moist nose as he yelled those words that would magically send the giant sky bison soaring into the air as if he were made of only the lightest substances on Earth.
"Yip Yip!" exclaimed Aang. And as if he cast a spell on the giant, mythical creature, the giant sky bison began to levitate; groaning his farewell as he ascended high into the atmosphere while he glided his way through the cumulonimbus clouds to meet the Fire Lord, who was patiently waiting for his arrival outside of his Palace.
As soon as the giant Sky Bison was beyond viewing distance, the young Avatar opened his cloak and placed it over himself; pulling its collar though his head as its hood rested amply on top of it, concealing the obvious arrow marking that exposed his identity. "I hope I make it on time." said the young Avatar to himself as he dug his feet into the sand; clutching his staff with a driven expression in his stone grays.
"What's the point? I ran out of time long ago..."
Aang soon put his cryptic thoughts to the side, and without a moment to spare, the young Avatar thrust his body forward with great force as the bottom of his cloak rippled from the sheer energy of his lunge; sand and dust particles soon ascended from the ground, leaving behind a giant cloud of earthly debris as he began his long sprint to the Fire Lord's Palace, the very Palace in which he is destined to become Onji's husband.
Meanwhile, the Fire Lady silently took her seat alongside the main witnesses and members of the World Council on the Royal Platform; all of whom were eagerly anticipating for the impending ceremony to commence. A usual dry and dull expression she typically wore in her expression; but today her appearance was especially heavy in discomfort; for her morning sickness and spontaneous urges to urinate weren't helping her mood.
"Ugh, this wedding just haaaad to occur today; leave it to men to choose the worst time to have a wedding." thought Mai dully to herself; incredibly annoyed about the fact that she has to sit through an elongated, royal marital ceremony while experiencing 'childbearing symptoms'.
But just as she was about to dwell in her gestational woes, she was immediately reminded of a friend who she knew was having a much more difficult time with a pregnancy of her own.
Mai's focus hastily sharpened as her eyes began to skim the accumulating crowd; she looked around quietly through every row for the person whose memory caught her sudden attention, the one person whose wellbeing she was truly concerned for, but found no sign of her anywhere amongst the expanding multitude of visitors and onlookers whilst they took their seats.
"Katara, where are you?" thought Mai to herself as she continued to quietly skim the audience for any sign of the expectant mother, but still found no sign of her. Just then, she noticed that she wasn't the only person absent from the ceremony; the young water bender's immediate family as well as her close friends hasn't shown as well.
Mai's eyes shot open frightfully; worry beginning to settle in the pit of her stomach as she looked at the empty row of seats. "Oh no…I hope everything's alright…" thought Mai to herself as her mind tried to rationalize the reason for everyone's absence; somehow trying to convince herself into thinking that everything was fine and that there was probably a very good reason as to why everyone was absent , whilst her heart was screaming that something was very, very wrong.
After a brutal travel on foot through rugged terrain, the young Avatar managed to muster the strength to dash with glider in hand the entire journey from Onji's home to the mouth of the Volcano that housed the Fire Lord's Palace; it's Main Court the site where his wedding will take place, and the very same platform he once married in his immediate past life. He would've taken to the sky and flew on his glider; making his travel much less strenuous and bearable, but it would only make him obvious to the massive crowd that was gathering in front of the Fire Lord's palace and blow his cover, defeating the very purpose of remaining incognito. Just as Aang proceeded to slow his pace, he felt his chest begin to tighten as he hoarsely gasped for the air his lungs desperately needed; such a challenging travel proved to be incredibly arduous for the young Avatar as every breath was just as laborious as the last. While his lungs continued to contract violently, he wiped the warm sweat that accumulated on his brow; the palm of his hand then traveling past his cheek and jawline as he rubbed the droplets of perspiration from under his neck.
As Aang struggled to gather his composure, he slithered his way towards the back entry to the Royal Palace Garden; reminiscing on the memory of his last Avatar form and how helpful he was even when he was faced with the direst of problems. The recollections of his most recent previous incarnation was one that brought the young Avatar great sadness, for it is in this moment, now more than ever that the young Avatar needed his celestial advice.
"Man, I wish I could talk to Roku about all of this; I just feel so…lost." thought the young Avatar to himself.
But Aang was very much aware that the Spirits of his past reincarnations were only accessible to any duty that pertained to the World and ONLY the World. His personal affairs unfortunately, were not one of them; therefore the young Avatar never attempted to summon his previous incarnations for help, for he knew he would only be met with silence.
Although exhaustion from his toilsome travel was obvious in the young Avatar's expression, the aftermath from the young Avatar's tumultuous ordeal from the previous night was just as apparent in his appearance; his flesh sticky to the touch and his eyes weary with tire while the bags under his eyes bore a light hint of dusty violet, exhaustion from his long travel was only adding to his tired visage. Either way, he was determined to get this entire ceremony over with; so he quickly collected himself and ignored the quiet ache that still lingered within the threshold of his cranium as he entered the Palace through its back gate.
As the young Avatar continued to walk down those long, crimson corridors, saluting guards as they respectfully bowed before his presence; he commenced to disrobe his cloak, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the side of the elongated hall to reveal his marital attire. The guards awed at the 'magnificent' sight, completely amazed by the Avatar's impressive wear. Aang raised his brow as his eyes bashfully darted towards every face that was astonishingly gazing towards him; questioning himself as to why everyone was gazing at him so fascinatedly as he scratched his forehead with his index finger in perplexity.
"Perhaps the lighting in here's helping me out a bit?" thought Aang modestly to himself as he took notice of his incredibly dimmed surroundings; grinning and waving courteously to the many guardsmen that were marveling his ensemble as if it were the most exquisite outfit they have ever seen. As he watched every guardsmen ogle at him, the young Avatar suddenly became slightly confident about his physical and facial appearance; now all Aang had to worry about was displaying a doleful demeanor; something he could easily rid by concealing it with a phony smile, 'hello' and 'thank you'.
As Aang became within several yard's distance from the Palace's Main Entrance, he began to recollect the process of a Royal Fire Nation marriage; he knew the routine like the back of his hand just as well as the marital customs of the other Nations. It's Fire Nation Tradition that the royal groom and his bride sleep in separate quarters the evening before the ceremony; then the following morning, both individuals arrive at separate times to the Palace, vital that they remain unseen by the public during their 'subtle entrance'. The bride is to arrive to the Palace first, accompanied by her mother and father if not deceased, in Onji's case both parents are very much alive; while she waits for her husband in her sleeping quarters, except in this case Fire Lord Zuko's bedroom, since Onji doesn't occupy living space in the Palace. The groom himself appears at the Palace at a later time alone; signifying the strong and sturdy foundation he is to offer his wife-to-be; as soon as the groom arrives to the Palace, he himself knocks on the bedroom door and retrieves her. Together, they both walk onto the Royal Platform and present themselves before every witness in attendance, in Aang's case a great multitude; walking forward towards the grand audience hand-in-hand before turning to face the Elite of the World. With their grasps tightly held onto one other's, they both bow to the World Council and Royal Family before once again rising to face each other. Together, the couple kneels in unison and bow their heads before one another; symbolizing their eternal respect and humility for the other. As soon as their heads are tilted, the Fire Lord himself rises from his seat and unravels the Marital Parchment, the very same one used since the holy union of the very first Fire Lord. He or She, in this case 'he', then begins to read the royal couple's rights from the document before asking the couple to once again rise on their feet. When the bride and groom ascend from their kneeled position, the groom lifts his bride's veil; signifying his entrance into her life, his offer of eternal trust…and eternal love. Once the veil is lifted, both bride and groom bow to their audience; representing their unity in holy, sanctified, royal matrimony as the crowd cheers in celebration.
Once the young Avatar finished his mental contemplation as to how his complex process of marriage will take place, he finally came within arm's reach with the crimson curtains that separated him and the very Royal Platform that will bring him and Onji together in marital union. Aang gulped in his throat; his palms beginning to perspire and tremble as he reached the tie that held the curtains in place; gently undoing its knot as the tie itself fell to the ground. Aang took in a deep breath, exhaling a bit of his tension as he grabbed the curtains' edges and separated them; as soon as he pulled them apart from one another, he was immediately bathed in the sun's warm, radiant light, catching him completely off-guard. The young Avatar stood his ground as he abruptly loosened his grip on the left curtain and clenched his teeth; opening his free hand wide and placing it in front of his irritated eyes as his face twisted with discomfort, blinking his eyes exaggeratedly in response to the sting of the intense shine. As soon as Aang's pupils contracted and his sight adjusted to the star's brilliance, the young Avatar finally caught glimpse of the amazing sight of the ceremony especially prepared for him and his bride.
Aang's eyes and mouth widened in astonishment as he analyzed how beautiful and elegantly organized the ceremony was; a truly luxurious display of elegance as well as the cultural power of the Fire Nation. The entire court was decorated in drapes rich in colors of deep red, white and gold, hanging attractively on the inner protective walls of the Palace as well as the outer edges of the concrete canopy that shielded the Royal Platform; while luminescent lamps of gold covered every inch of the area the audience occupied, each one grouped with elaborately woven ropes made of fine silk while its ends were held up by rods of what seemed to be polished, solid oak. Large Areca palm plants encircled the entire vicinity as wild, long-pedaled trumpet creepers heavily decorated the red, white and gold carped that sat on top of the wide isle; its length stretching from the rim of the stairs all the way to the very entrance of the gate to the Palace. Aang also took notice of every seat; its cushion covers crafted by flesh colored suede while its skeletal form was constructed from Spruce Trees, a type of wood indigenous only to the very mountains that once housed the Eastern Air Nomad Nation. The tables were no exception to the Fire Nation's fine taste of craftsmanship; the young Avatar couldn't see the table itself, but he didn't need to, for the tables were so exquisitely adorned that the visibility of the table itself wasn't required. Each one was tastefully dressed in white, lace cloth while its surface held glimmering, fine china forged out of pure silver; the blood red Fire Nation insignia branded in every delicate piece. "Woooow…" whispered Aang quietly to himself, for the sight was truly incredible to the young Avatar as well as familiar, and yet…depressing.
The young Avatar's stone grays shimmered in the sun's golden rays as he watched people of all Nations, creeds and colors line up and take their seats, with the exception of only the most elite guardsmen lined out around the inner and outer wall; heavily armored with weapons of combat tight in their grasp as they secured the entrance to the Fire Lord's palace from individuals they deem to have any sort of malicious intent. The young Avatar awe-struck gaze then directed him towards the Taiko drummers alongside the guardsmen; each one holding long, wooden bachis with their enormous set of drums sitting gallantly before them; their expression just as steady and emotionless as the guardsmen next to them. His eyes soon began to sweep the audience; looking on as familiar faces from his past began to settle themselves in their seats. He spotted and recognized so many people; people he has personally met throughout this current walk of life, people he has met and known since he first commenced his journey to become a fully realized Avatar at the adolescent age of twelve. He determined one individual taking his seat on a table not too far from the stairs leading up to the Royal Platform: Longshot; his physique much longer than when they were children as he took his seat next to a robust-looking woman Aang immediately recognized as SmellerBee. She had grown substantially since the last time the young Avatar saw her; her body completely filled out and bloomed, yet retaining her typical combat attire, heavy lidded eyes and short, brown locks. Aang's downhearted demeanor began to show small signs of life as a minuscule smile emerged from within the gloom that was bubbling from within; the sight of old friends filling him with the bit of joy he gravely needed in his hopeless situation. The young Avatar then observed two other individual taking their seats next to previous Freedom Fighter: Pipsqueak, having retained his hefty, powerful build along with the good natured expression that heavily contrasted his physique; and The Duke, his strong facial and physical structure completely different from the olden days, but that baby faced expression still recognizable from a mile away, even though he has grown substantially since the last time they met. The clique talked merrily amongst one another as another familiar group walked towards a vacant table nearby, quickly catching the young Avatar's attention. Aang looked on as he saw Haru, truly having taken on the physical appearance of an Earth Bending Master well, muscular and brawn; taking his seat alongside his robust father and his beloved mother.
Gradually; the young Avatar's demeanor began to take a turn for the worst as he witnessed the Earth Kingdom family speak attentively amongst themselves; Aang could see the happiness in their demeanor as if it were spilling from the pores of their bodies and coating them in an unbreakable web of love, something he desperately wanted, but knew he could never obtain. His mood dampened further and further as more people from his past arrived at the court, apparently all at once. He spotted the many Earth Kingdom refugees that now occupy the Northern Air Temple; pushing separate tables against each other as they huddled together in one, massive group. Soon after, he took notice of another familiar individual he met and befriended not too long ago; the young prostitute, Xin, dressed her finest as she sat next to a gentleman Aang assumed was another one of her 'clients', a disinterested look in her dewy eyes. He also noticed the Order of the White Lotus take their seats in one the closest tables in the entire assortment; his old friend, King Bumi, cackling and demented in his ripe, old age, yet every cognitive skill he bore still sharp to a 'T' as he conversed comprehensively with his fellow Lotus members. Lastly, Aang took notice of the members of the World Council along with Fire Nation Priests and the Royal Family; each person sitting in a meditative position on the Royal Platform of the Fire Lord's Palace as they watched the vast multitude of people that were still flocking towards the Palace courtyard.
All of these individuals Aang has personally known along with countless visitors from all walks of life were here for one thing and one thing only: To see their friend, the Avatar, accomplish what no other individual since the beginning of history has ever seen; to witness an Airbender, an Air Nomad, exchange marital vows and wed.
But it was the appearances of two people he has yet to meet that unexpectedly caught the young Avatar's critical attention; two people whom he has only seen and known through photographs since the moment he and his fiancé began dating: Ping and Suyin, Onji's father and mother. He immediately recognized the faces of a man who he immediately identified as his wife-to-be's parents; sitting on the table nearest the staircase that led to the Fire Lord Palace's entryway, the very section reserved only for immediate family of the bride and groom and individuals of high stature. Her father bore a stern, angry expression; a large man he was, with a hardened, intimidating appearance that can crawl under the skin of even the bravest man. Her mother on the other hand was a simple, average looking woman with withered skin and hair; a very thin frame and grey eyes timid and forlorn in appearance.
Aang sighed quietly as he took in the sight of his father and mother-in-law, he has never seen them in person before, let alone met them; yet here he was, about to marry their own flesh and blood without so saying a simple 'nice to meet' you to the young Avatar. He couldn't prevent the feeling of displeasure in their actions, nevertheless, he understood; for the reasoning to this strange custom lies in a superstitious ritual that Onji's family holds immensely dear to. This bizarre belief implores that the groom not meet the bride's primary family until the day of their wedding, so that no biased judgment from the bride's family be passed that may influence the bride's decision to unite in holy matrimony; for that judgment should solely be preserved by the bride and the bride alone.
That's when it hit the young Avatar; his eyes squinting heavily as he submerged into deep thought,
"Family…" thought the Avatar, "…My family!"
The young Avatar's eyes shot wide open as he finally took notice of Hakoda and his kin's absence; commencing to frantically skim the audience for any sign of the group that hailed from the Southern Water Tribe, the group he called 'his family'. It didn't take long for him to notice that there was a problem, for from the Groom's side of the family, his own side, no one was present. Sokka, Suki, Toph, Hakoda, none of them were within any direction of viewing distance.
But it was the person whom he has been desperately waiting to see whose absence has possessed his complete and undeniable attention: Katara, the water bender from the Southern Water Tribe, along with the father of her unborn babe, Lee, have yet to appear.
The groom-to-be jerked his head past the camouflage of the curtain he held in his grasp; hysterically trying to discern any sign of the expectant mother within the vast hoopla, but to no avail, she was nowhere to be found. As Aang grasped the fact that Katara along with the rest of the family was nowhere within the parameters of the elegantly elaborated Royal Court; he began to wonder if their unanticipated absence had anything to do with her serious condition, forcing disturbing scenarios to play and run amuck in his mind as his heart became inundated with worry. It was plain as day that every attendant was waiting to the point of near impatience for the Avatar to appear alongside his woman, but the Avatar himself couldn't care less, for the core of his attention was entirely on that water bender; wondering if something wrong had happened as his focus became so strong that he felt a piercing headache begin to throb from within the surface of his forehead. In an instant, despair began to course through his veins as disquiet proceeded to accumulate in his chest; his thumb and index fingers fidgeting uncontrollably with the curtain he still held in his grasp as he stared at the empty table he especially reserved for the ones he now called 'his people', and for the woman he once called 'his'.
"Katara…where are you?"
Suddenly, a voice.
"Aang."
The sound of his name being faintly muttered behind him was enough to startle the all-powerful Avatar; forcing him to jerk his body violently as he turned to meet the person who called his name, a daring expression in his face as he panted from the sudden fright while spreading his legs and positioning himself in a defensive stance.
But when his eyes deciphered the stranger behind him, the young Avatar relaxed his protective posture as he became at ease before the warm, welcoming face.
"Looking for someone?" asked Iroh.
Aang inhaled a deep breath of relief and exhaled the sudden burst of tension; swallowing the excess remnants of anxiety down his throat as he shut his eyes in recovery, and embarrassment.
"She's not here." answered Iroh sternly; fully aware of the individual whom the young Avatar was desperately searching for.
The grasp between Aang's eyelids unlocked as he exposed his stunned, stone grays to the Former General, astounded by his bold insinuation as he gazed into his deep, ember eyes.
The Former General simply gazed at the young Avatar with great pity, "Katara, she is the person you're looking for…isn't it?" asked Iroh with great sensitivity and sympathy for the groom-to-be.
Aang gazed puzzlingly at the Former General; unwilling to answer that question as he immediately attempted to alter the subject, "W-what are you doing here?" asked a puzzled Aang as he bent his brow.
Iroh chuckled exasperatedly at Aang's absurd question, "Well, this is my nephew's palace, even if I'm not the Fire Lord I was destined to be, I'm still a part of the Royal Family; I don't see how my presence here is striking you as strange." answered Iroh kindly as the aftermath of his laughter sent ripples throughout his enlarged belly.
Aang nodded his head timidly in agreement, "Y-yeah, I guess you're right I… I don't know what I was thinking…" said the young Avatar as he shut his eyes and bowed his head to the Former General apologetically.
As Iroh watched Aang feebly bow before him, he analyzed his worn facial appearance; for despite the fact that they were within a darkened are of the Palace's Main Hall, Iroh's keen sense of sight allowed him to easily perceive the young Avatar's ill demeanor, "Are you alright Aang? You seem unwell." asked the Former General as he pulled lightly on his gray, eccentrically styled beard.
Aang looked up to the Fire Nation Native with a dumbfounded expression on his face; once again amazed by Iroh's acute ability to sense the stress in others. There was nothing that Aang wanted more at this moment than to conceal his hurt from the main public, but he now knew he couldn't fool someone as observant as Iroh; the young Avatar had no choice but to be truthful, so he rested his back lazily on the empty space of grainy wall by the curtain as he slid his body down to the ground.
"No…I'm not alright." answered Aang with empty eyes.
"Oh?" said the Former General as he raised his eyebrow curiously, "What's wrong?" asked Iroh.
Aang stared into nothingness as he answered the Former General's question, "I didn't sleep well last night; I've been experiencing these pains…all over my body and, and I don't even know why." answered Aang as he shook his head in disbelief; bending his right leg upright as he rested its adjacent arm on top of its knee.
Iroh's eyes widened tremendously as he gazed shockingly at the young Avatar; for he knew of someone who was experiencing a similar agonizing pain the previous night of her own. The Former General continued to listen to Aang's woes; his expression aghast and suspicious as he kept the thought quietly in the back of his mind.
"It was terrible Iroh; the pain was worse than an infinite amount of sharp needles piercing through my skin; I literally thought I was going to collapse from it and die." answered the young Avatar stoutly as his gaze traveled to the Former General's face.
"I see" said a conspicuous Iroh as he twirled the tip of his bears around his finger; "Strangely enough, Katara was going through something very similar…last night." confessed Iroh cryptically.
Aang became submerged in complete and utter melancholy as his mind processed the words 'Katara' and 'pain' together; horror-struck as his limbs grew numb and his heart accelerated so quick that he thought it would break out of his chest cavity, "What! Is she alright? What about the baby? Is it ok?" asked Aang excitedly; completely overwrought and filled with grief by the tragic news as he struggled with the urge to shed his tears in front of the Former General.
The Former General could only look at the young Avatar's forlorn demeanor with solemn eyes; "They're stable; for now." answered Iroh ominously. "Lee rushed her to the only healer he knew would be willing to care for her in such a late hour. She was having immense pains around her abdomen, so fierce Aang, that she could barely speak." explained Iroh as his eyes emanated a great deal of remorse for the ailing water bender; witnessing her in such excruciating pain is a memory he knew he would never forget.
Dread overcame the young Avatar as he felt his heart sink; the life draining from his eyes as he continued to hear Iroh speak of Katara's misfortune. How badly he just wanted to run away and rush to her side, how frustrating it was for him to have to stand his ground while Katara suffered in a medical bed. Nonetheless, he knew from the moment he found out of her pregnancy that her condition was frail, and he didn't want to anything that could jeopardize her health as well as the child's. Aang never felt so useless in his entire life; so helpless to help an individual in urgent need, especially the woman he loved to the brink of ache. All he could do was rub the palms of his hands hectically over his face as he cowered beneath their shelter; dementedly rocking his body back and forth as he tried to sooth the tumultuousness that was amplifying from within his body.
"I accompanied them to the local healer and didn't return to Lee's home until this morning. I would've stayed with them, but I wanted to be here for you as well Aang, since both of you family and friends were heading down to the dispensary to be by her side; well of course, except Zuko and Mai, but they don't know anything about Katara's situation yet." said Iroh, "Even so, Lee insisted that I come here and support you, so here I am; besides, she's in great hands, and I'm sure all of your friends are there by now so she's definitely not alone." explained Iroh with a soothing tone of voice as he slowly took a seat and positioned his legs in a meditative position before the seemingly inconsolable Avatar.
Aang however, did manage to find a small sense of relief amidst the chaos that was still bubbling underneath his flesh as he halted his rocking motion; now he knew the reasoning for everyone's absence and found solace in the fact that Katara was in the very least not alone, even if it pained him not to be there alongside his friends and family, and alongside her. He tried to put on a façade for the Fire Nation native as he struggled to gather his composure; he tried to make it seem as though the fact that Katara was in grave peril was the only thing that was bothering him, but Iroh once again proved that he was not oblivious to the true inner turmoil that lingered within the young Avatar; interpreting his dismal body language before he finally met the young Avatar's desperate gaze; the Former General's ember eyes piercing through his own stone grays.
"Aang." said Iroh faintly; a warm, gentle smile formed on his lips as he let out a calm sigh, "What are you doing?" asked the Former General benevolently; his eyes filled with great tenderness and concern.
Aang raised his chin apprehensively to the man asking him such a simple question he knew had a complex answer; the young Avatar knew well what the Former General insinuated, but the young Avatar didn't want to delve into the sensitive subject. In return, he tried his hardest to evade the answer Iroh was looking for.
The young Avatar scowled at Iroh, "Getting married." answered Aang bluntly as he repositioned himself restlessly on the wall.
Iroh returned the daring gesture as he crossed his arms authoritatively, "Why?" asked the Former General in a simple tone of voice; shrugging his arms with a doubtful look in his eyes.
Aang nodded his head continuously to Iroh's persistence; his scowl still prominent in his expression, "To continue the lineage of the Air Nomad Race, my lineage." answered Aang as his nerves became more apparent in his demeanor; driving his legs to tremble in reaction.
Iroh jerked his head back to the young Avatar's answer, "Do you, somehow believe that if you marry this woman, a child will just…magically be conceived Aang? Just like that?" asked Iroh as his face twisted in disgust; fluttering his fingers in front of his face as the Former General relaxed his expression. "Aang, if you think that a child will somehow be produced just by an exchanging of vows, then you, Avatar, are sadly mistaken." said Iroh as he balled his fist and pressed it onto his thigh in agitation.
Aang stared at the Former General with blank eyes "Maybe I do believe it; maybe that's just what I'm hoping will happen." answered Aang dolefully.
Iroh couldn't understand the young Avatar's sense of understanding as to how children are brought into the world; he was utterly baffled by it, but Iroh knew better than to take such an answer seriously, for he was already aware that the Avatar was attempting to give him the roundabout.
"Aang, I can see it in your eyes." said Iroh as his ember colored eyes glistened with a tinge of red from the surrounding hues that resembled the color of ripe apples, "You don't want to do this." pleaded the Fire Nation native; his eyes looking desperately into Aang's with fervor.
"Iroh" said Aang as he continued to focus on those color shifting eyes, "Forgive me for what I'm about to say; for it's not my intention to be rude, but how can you or anyone possibly know about what I want?" asked a grievous Aang; his eyes still cold and distant.
Iroh scoffed at Aang's unintentionally offensive question, "What do I know? What do III know?" said Iroh disgruntledly as his visual expression shifted to a menacing glare; outrage settling in his tone of voice "I know that if you wanted to do this Aang, if YOU reeeeeally LOVE this woman so much that you're willing to marry her, you wouldn't have spent an entire NIGHT with SOMEONE ELSE! A certain water bender…back in Ba Sing Se." finished Iroh smoothly as he caught his breath and composed himself to his familiar, calm demeanor.
The young Avatar's eyes widened in pure shock; he didn't think anyone but him and Katara, and inadvertently Zuko, knew of the night he spent with Katara, let alone Iroh of all people. Of course, at the same time it didn't surprise him that the Former General knew of the night he made sweet, passionate love to the water bender; after all, it was within his own dwelling that he and the now expectant mother lost their innocence to one another; he probably even heard the sounds, whimpers and cries of their love along with the violent movements of her mattress. A strong blush consumed the young Avatar's cheeks at the thought of Iroh knowing his darkest secret; his eyes still glued to the Former General's blunt gaze as he became completely engulfed in his own sense of humiliation.
Iroh noticed the young Avatar's uncomfortable demeanor; placing his hand over his shoulder in consolation, "Aang, you have nothing, I mean nothing, to be ashamed of." said Iroh consolably, "That night was a beautiful act of love; I know this because I saw it the following day, in your face. I saw your pain Aang; I saw your ail and your unwillingness to step out those doors because although you may not have known it then, deep down…you really didn't want to leave." suggested Iroh .
Aang could only gaze in amazement to Iroh's high sense of wisdom; for a man whom he has known thus far to lack any romantic ties of any sort, he knew much about the enigmatic workings of love. Although the young Avatar didn't utter a single word in response; simply gazing into Iroh's face with a puzzled expression, he knew that Iroh was right.
Iroh quickly interrupted the young Avatar's quiet thoughts as he continued his interrogation, "Tell me something Aang, why DID you end your relationship with Katara?" asked the Former General as he interlaced his fingers over one another; placing his conjoined hands over his lap as he attentively waited for the young Avatar's answer with a intent look in his ember eyes.
Aang hesitated for a moment; questioning why the Former General was asking him all of these difficult questions, but he knew he could trust him, for he has trusted him before at a time when all of the Fire Nation was against him. "It seemed like…everything we did together led to one argument or another; I never knew why, but I just, could see that she was unhappy. She never even told me she loved me, even when I confessed my love for her selflessly on a daily basis for 3 years, never ONCE did she tell me those those words, until the day after…" Aang hesitated to finish his sentence, for that day brought forth an immense feeling of grievance in the core of his chest; nevertheless, he continued to explain to Iroh his unfortunate situation, "I was under the impression that I was doing the both of us a favor when I decided to end our relationship. Since then I became fearful Iroh; afraid that if we somehow reconciled, our relationship would only regress to the way things used to be, and we would both wind up hating each other. That was the last thing I wanted, for Katara to hate me for something I could've easily prevented, but either way I ended up doing just that when I…slept, with her and left." explained Aang solemnly as he burrowed his forehead in the shelter of his hand; those last few words sitting bitterly on his tongue as he felt unfathomable disappointment with himself for foolishly allowing his fears to determine his choices.
Iroh immediately interceded the young Avatar's confession, "Perhaps Katara never told you she loved you because she was afraid of letting her guard down." suggested Iroh.
Aang's grey irises darted to the Former General; his facial position still.
Iroh proceeded to explain his suggestion, "Katara may seem like she has all of her emotional affairs in order, but deep down Aang, she's just as vulnerable and insecure as any other woman who harbors such a powerful feeling. Giving in to those feelings was probably more terrifying to her than you thought; for fear that one day you would disappoint her. And you did just that Aang, by walking out of your relationship with Katara, just as she did you by refusing to profess her love for you; because of your fears, you both let each other down." said Iroh sternly.
As soon as Aang comprehended what Iroh was trying to tell him, he burrowed his face in the false safety of his folded arms, feeling disgusted with his past decisions; for he knew that if he allowed his heart to govern his rational thought from the very beginning instead of his fear, he wouldn't be in this disastrous predicament, Katara would still be his woman, and the child she was carrying would be his own instead of another's.
But the Fire Nation native wasn't done with the young Avatar; no, he had much more to say, "She immaturely refused to give into her feelings, just as you immaturely ran away to try and find happiness elsewhere. But you didn't; you're miserable because you refuse to acknowledge that despite the fact that you're with this woman, this woman that you've chosen to be your wife, you still love Katara!... When are you going to admit this to yourself young Avatar?" hissed a very agitated Iroh as he continued his passionate rant. "Let me tell you something, Aang; you can get on that altar today, marry this woman, have children with this woman, make a life with this woman; but somewhere along the line Aang, you WILL hit a wall of major regret. One day, all of those should've could've would'ves will eventually creep up your mind, and haunt you; one morning, you're going to wake up, look around and ask yourself, 'What am I doing here...". said Iroh ominously; his eyes dim as he watched the young Avatar still cower in the shelter of his limbs, "You'll spend the rest of your days wondering to yourself why you didn't respond to what you're heart has been aching for you to succumb to all along." explained Iroh cryptically, "It will consume you Aang, and you'll live the rest of your life until your dying-breath wondering what you could've done different; because by that time you will have realized…that your entire married life had been nothing but a complete and utter lie." explained the Former General fervidly. "Look around you Aang really look around and see what has been lined up and prepared for you!" demanded Iroh as he gestured his open arms towards the very altar made specifically for his exchange of vows with Onji, "Is this what you want? Is this…what YOU want?" asked the former Fire Nation General profoundly as his nose wrinkled with anger; his focus imploring that the young Avatar open his eyes and see the reality of his position while trying desperately to prevent him from making what he knew would become the biggest mistake of his life.
Aang knew that the time had arrived for him to finally come clean; he knew that he could trust Iroh, the man who has given him advice on love some odd years before in a dark tunnel underneath the Earth Kingdom, with his most profound, intimate secret, and he was going to entrust the former Fire Nation General with it.
"No" answered Aang dismally as he raised his head meekly to meet Iroh's hard gaze. "It's not."
The Former General jerked his head back from the unexpected response; completely floored by what he just witnessed the Avatar affirm barely a moment ago, but he knew there was more to be heard from the young Avatar, his storm grays swimming with a necessity to release more from his chest as his eyes reflected great pain. Iroh tilted his head towards the Avatar's direction; curiously and eagerly waiting for the explanation behind the young Avatar's staggering confession.
Aang forced a timid smile as he rested his elbow on his knee; his stare engulfed with anguish, "You're right Iroh…I love Katara; I still *gasp* love her even after all of this time…" "And I didn't come to realize it until it was too late." professed Aang; struggling to retain his composure.
The Former General was so terrifically astounded by the young Avatar's confession; his chest swelling with extraordinary joy as he pondered why Aang has yet to confess his feelings to the person that needed to hear it the most: Katara.
But Aang didn't hesitate to answer the Former General's mental quarrel, "I can't go back to her Iroh, I was going to tell her; on the day of Sokka and Suki's wedding Iroh I was ready to confess my love for her." admitted the young Avatar as he incoherently jumbled his sentences; fighting back stinging tears as he struggled to hold himself together, "But then…Lee dropped the bomb on me when he said they were pregnant; when he said those words *sigh*, I thought I was going to just…collapse-just literally drop dead from the pain I was feeling in my heart because I knew…that it was far too late for us to ever make things work." explained Aang sternly; a quiet melancholy in his expression as he shook his head and pressed his lips, "I made the biggest mistake of my life the day I walked away from that room, and I loathe myself every second of every minute of every DAY because of it, but I can't afford to be vulnerable Iroh; not now, not at a time where everyone is counting on me to restore balance to the Avatar cycle. All of this responsibility is in my shoulders Iroh!" exclaimed the young Avatar; slamming his palm continuously over his chest as his stone grays pierced into Iroh's ember eyes, "If Katara ever ONCE loved me, that love has long since been carried off by the wind; her heart belongs to Lee now, and their pregnancy is a testament to that. I can't and won't EVER come in between them; even though it pains me to do so Iroh and I can't even BEGIN to tell you how much it HURTS Iroh… it's like…" Aang paused his confession for a moment as his mouth slightly gaped; trying to find the right words to describe his emotional ache as his balled fist trembled before him, "…It's like…getting hit head on-full force in the chest by a wall of metal, except much worse; you can either die from the impact or recover, but this pain Iroh, it lingers and burns…but as much as it aches me, I'll be there for her; I'll support her as a friend should while keeping my distance and maintaining MY love away from her so that she can be happy…with him." said Aang as he punched his chest continuously; the last sentence sending shockwaves of melancholy through his already blood-rushed veins as he sulked in his own misery and dashed hope.
The elation the Fire Nation native felt when he heard the young Avatar's confession was enough of a divine sign to drive him to say what he traveled from the outer skirts of the Main Land's center to confess; a glimmer of hope suddenly reflecting from his ember colored irises as he smiled gleefully. "But she's not happy Aang…" answered Iroh as a tender chuckle escaped the Former General's soft smile, "She's not happy because she believes the man she loves, the father of her child wants nothing to do with her OR their unborn baby." professed Iroh with a bittersweet expression.
The young Avatar suddenly became baffled by Iroh's implication, "What do you mean?" asked Aang as he scowled at the Fire Nation General; a million thoughts running wild through his psyche, "What are you saying? Did Lee leave her? But she's pregnant! How could he do that to the mother of his child!" exclaimed Aang restlessly; both fury and anticipation beginning to accumulate in the pit of his stomach as his stone greys widened in high hope, and rage.
But Iroh didn't answer any of his erratic accusations; for he could only smile at the groom-to-be, "Avatar Aang" said Iroh ardently, "There is something I believe you need to know..." suggested the Former General with great pride as he began to recollect the conversation he had with Katara back in Ba Sing Se not too long ago.
"A little over a week ago, Katara and I had a very long and engaging talk…."
"Who is it that you're going to talk to?" asked a baffled Iroh.
Katara hesitated for a moment; staring emptily into the Former General's ember colored eyes as he waited eagerly for her answer.
"Lee." answered Katara.
"Lee?" said Iroh, "I don't understand; I mean, why the urgency to talk to him?" asked Iroh.
The expectant mother tried her best to control herself for the sake of the child she was carrying in her womb, "Because Iroh, I…I can't do this-I, I can't lie to him any longer." answered Katara; her voice beginning to shatter under her breath as she shut her eyes in remorse, "I tried Iroh, I really, really did; I did my best to make it work and at least attempt to be happy, but I can't." explained the young water bender as slowly opened her ocean blues; gazing into the empty tea cup she held in her grasp, "I'm not happy Iroh… I never will be, and if I keep going along with this I'll only be lying to him as well as to myself. Lee doesn't deserve that…" whispered Katara, her dimmed glare gently flowing towards the Former General's face.
Iroh's eyebrows bent as he gazed puzzlingly at the expectant mother, "Katara…what are you trying to say?" asked Iroh.
Katara smiled sentimentally as a warm flush engulfed her face; great pain reflecting in her expression. "Iroh…Lee's not coming with me, to the Southern Water Tribe." said Katara, "On the day you and I travel to meet him, the day before Aang's wedding, I'm planning on ending our relationship." said Katara.
The Former General's eyes widened in shock by what the young water bender just finished confessing to him, "WHAT?" exclaimed Iroh. "What are you planning on telling him? Confess to him of your night with Aang? On the day before HIS wedding? Did you at the very LEAST think this over, young Katara?" asked a frantic Iroh; seriously judging the expectant mother's sensibility.
But Katara paid no mind to the Fire Nation Native; for she was comfortably enveloped in her own reasoning, "It's going to be a day of new beginnings Iroh; a fresh start not just for Aang, but for myself. I'm starting over because this child is entitled to live in a happy home; I can't give him, or her, a blissful household if I stay with Lee, Iroh." said Katara as she rested her hands over her protruding lower abdomen; caressing the area just above the womb that held her unborn babe as a warm smile continued to linger in her expression.
But Iroh wasn't so convince; instead, he became more befuddled by the young water bender's sense of rationality, "Katara, PLEASE, I beg of you, think SERIOUSLY about what you're doing, there is a CHILD involved in all of this." pleaded the Former General with somber eyes, "This baby needs a stable environment, this baby NEEDS his FATHER." exclaimed Iroh as he slammed his hands onto the wooden table.
Katara's appearance suddenly took a turn for the worst as her expression transformed into gloom, "Iroh, do you remember the first day I went to see the local healer for my unexplainable pains?" asked Katara.
Iroh tilted his head towards his left shoulder with an uncertain look on his face, "Yes, yes I do." answered Iroh suspiciously.
Katara's hands began to lightly quiver, "I was having abdominal pangs that day, and my hands were incredibly swollen. You remember how swollen I was, don't you?" asked Katara; the vibrations lazily carrying towards her enlarged belly.
Iroh nodded in agreement, "I sure do; geez Louise did your hands look inflated that day." said Iroh as he grimaced at the thought of the horrific details that accompanied the young water bender's condition.
Katara couldn't resist a small chuckle; smiling kindly to the Former Fire Nation General, and to her friend.
"She was very concerned about her symptoms, but she wasn't too alarmed about it at that moment; she assumed she just had an allergic reaction to one of our brews or perhaps developed an allergy to the drywall we covered the walls with in the storage room, so she went to see a local healer who was especially known for dealing with such a type of physical ailment." explained Iroh, "When Katara arrived at the home-styled infirmary, she said the healer that tended to her knew her personally; she recognized her as 'the young girl the Avatar rescued earlier in the year'. Katara said she was quite happy to see her actually; almost as if she was expecting to see her, and she found it quite strange." explained Iroh as he readjusted himself on the cold, laminated ground.
A look of surprise overwhelmed Aang's expression as his eyes slightly widened, for he remembered in an instant of that old woman; that old healer that advised him on how to properly care for Katara from that hellish ordeal against Azula those many months ago.
Iroh completely overlooked Aang's brief daydream as he continued his conversation, "Katara said the healer ran tests on her; all sorts of physical exams Aang, and each one pointed towards one…inevitable…conclusion." said Iroh as he proceeded to recall Katara's experience…
The healer; the very woman that counseled the young Avatar, entered the young water bender's room, "Katara?" said the healer as she grabbed the door handle and shut the door behind her; a grimace expression in her eyes.
"Yes?" asked the young water bender; both anticipation and dread building up inside of her stomach.
The healer placed her hands behind her back as she inhaled a small breath, and sighed, "We have your results." said the healer.
Katara gulped heavily; anxiety and concern entangled in a web within her throat walls, "What's wrong with me?" asked Katara.
The healer shut her eyes; her expression filled with great pity, "Miss Katara…you are pregnant." said the healer sternly; not one bit of emotion in her appearance as she delivered to the mother-to-be what should be exciting news.
"Katara was floored by the incredible news, she knew she wanted to have children someday, but she didn't expect to have conceived so soon; either way, she was incredibly joyful and elated with the idea of being a mother, even if it didn't happen the way she expected it to." explained the Former General as his appearance turned grim, "But then, she noticed the healer wasn't as happy as she was to give her the news, and panic soon crept into her chest…"
"I-is there something wrong?" asked the mother-to-be; nervously gripping the resting table below her as waited impatiently for the healer's answer.
The healer gazed into the young, expectant mother's eyes with immense sympathy as she pressed her lips; straightening her posture as she gathered the courage to answer her client's question, "Katara, you're showing symptoms of a potentially life-threatening illness which only strikes amongst women when they are with child." answered the healer, "The proper name for this illness is Shikan mae-shō, but healers refer to it as' SMS' for short. This illness typically strikes after the 20th week of pregnancy, but we are concerned Miss Katara, because we have never heard of anyone having this condition at any point of pregnancy before that time frame." explained the healer with unintentional callousness.
The color drained from Katara's flesh as she felt her heart sink at the terrible news; biting her lip as she resisted the urge to cry, turning her focus away from the old woman caring for her as she placed her hand over her mouth.
The healer could see Katara's agony in her deep ocean blue eyes, and she felt a great deal of guilt for bestowing such horrible information to the young water bender, but she would be doing a disservice to the young woman if she stopped her explanation there; no, Katara needed to know everything for the sake of her unborn child's health as well as her own, "Because you are so early; we don't know exactly if this IS the condition you have or how to treat you for your symptoms; but all the signs are pointing towards this direction Miss Katara. You obviously cannot deliver, so the best thing we can do is help you temporarily relieve your pain and control the swelling in your hands with herbal as well as medicinal remedies. If the problem persists during the week, I strongly urge that you return; for that would mean that you need to come and see me on a weekly basis so that I may tend to you and give you symptomatic relief." explained the healer.
"Katara has never been so afraid in her entire life, Aang; never before in her life has she felt a tremendous amount of despair, not since the day she lost her mother." said Iroh. "But soon after Katara explained to me what happened in the infirmary, she began rummaging her sentences…"
"After she told me about my 'condition', she told me how far along I was…" said Katara as she darted her eyes wildly throughout the room; her fingers dug deeply beneath her dark, long locks with a look of desperation in her frantic gaze, "I mean…I had my monthly cycle Iroh, I had it, it came." said Katara quietly as she shook her head uncontrollably, "But the healer, she was sure…she said in all her years of practicing her profession, her tests have never been wrong and she was sure Iroh, she was sure…" said Katara.
Iroh suddenly became frightened by Katara's capricious behavior; "Katara, what-did-she-tell-you?" asked Iroh demandingly.
The expectant mother merely gazed at Iroh; her leg aquiver as she smiled bittersweetly to the former Fire Nation General.
"She said…I was two months pregnant."
Aang was baffled by the reasoning to this entire conversation, "I, I don't understand; what's the point of me knowing all of this?" asked Aang.
The Former General raised his chin with great pride, "The problem here, Aang, is that soon after she confessed to me that she was two months pregnant, she also confessed that at that time, she's been intimate with Lee for only one…month." said Iroh.
Aang immediately interrupted the former general as he bent his eyebrows in suspicion, "Wait a minute," said Aang; his words on the verge of erratically spewing out of his mouth, "A month? But she was, she was two months then, how could she poss-"
Aang halted his sentence; his eyes and mouth softly widening as the very answer to his own question ferociously took every physical sense in his entire body by storm.
Iroh smiled genially as he witnessed realization befall the Avatar, "You tell me…Aang."
Stay Tuned, for the next chapter is one you cannot miss…
So here are my pics; I know my photoshop skills are looking pretty corny right about now, but I do plan on getting a graphics tablet soon, maybe my artwork will look a little better once I actually start drawing on photoshop instead of using the pen tool to trace over my sketches (which is incredibly annoying) DX. So all in all, please bear with my extremely 'primitive' photoshop skills ^^
http :/ img810. imageshack. us/img810/7631/lookingtowardshisdestin. jpg
http :/img856. imageshack. us/img856/1506/lee. jpg
http :/img69. imageshack. us/img69/7681/aangisthefather. jpg
I listened to Cirque Du Soleil's "Querer"; sung by Francesca Gagnon when I drew these. It's a truly beautiful song that depicts the hurt Aang is experiencing from the love he feels for Katara.