"Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out…
Oh you're all I taste,
At night inside of my mouth
Oh you run away,
Cause I am not what you found
Oh you're in my veins…
And I cannot get you out"
-In My Veins, by Andrew Belle
Chapter 24: Forgive, but Never Forget
Disclaimer: I own the plotline, but I'm afraid that's all.
Okay, so maybe Granger had advised that she give her two friends some space…well, it just wasn't going to happen. Lunch had just passed, and again, Pansy was left sitting by herself. She couldn't allow this to turn into a daily affair. Besides, Slytherins were all about house unity, right? 'Yes,' she mentally agreed as Blaise and Draco entered the common room. Now was the time to make her move.
"Come to apologize?" she asked the blonde upon standing up to meet him. 'That came out entirely wrong,' Pansy berated herself for speaking so harshly.
"No," Draco spat back as the girl had expected, "Now if you'd be so kind as to stand out of my way-"
"That's it," Blaise cut off his friend's sarcastic rant. "I'm not dealing with another fight this week," he put his hands up and began back towards the exit, "So, until you two sort this out," he paused, thinking of a good threat, "Don't bother speaking to me."
Sure, the warning wasn't that great, but right now the brown-eyed boy remained all the other two had for company.
"Fine," Malfoy rashly agreed, catching his mate off guard. By the look on Zabini's face, he clearly hadn't planned for that answer.
"Draco, please," Pansy resorted to begging, something she typically reserved for her parents whenever she'd wanted something they refused her.
Blaise merely stood between the duo awkwardly, not wanting to leave his girlfriend in her current state of distress despite his past anger.
"If it helps any, I did manage to get some information for you," the girl continued when the blonde remained silent. Parkinson had decided to take that as a good sign and thereafter began channeling her inner Slytherin. With a bit of a smirk she added, "I'd be glad to let you in on it," the brunette looked away with fake sadness, "if only you were speaking to me…"
Malfoy sighed, evidently frustrated and conflicted. He knew the prefect all too well and was therefore aware of the game she was playing. Blaise's snickering definitely wasn't helping his inner debate either.
"I was only trying to be a good friend," Pansy proceeded as the boys still held quiet (much to her annoyance). "I know now that what I did maybe wasn't the best idea, regardless of my intentions," she admitted, causing Draco to scoff at her. "But I wouldn't take it back," Parkinson let him know. Then, when the teen at her front shot her a nasty glare, she went into further explanation. "You've liked her since our fourth year, Dray," she began, refraining from calling the red-head 'Weaselette' for now. "Since that night at the Yule Ball, you've turned down any other girl who came your way. And I just want you to finally be happy," she stated truthfully, much to the other's surprise (she was hardly the sentimental type of girl who shared feelings and talked of unicorns). "It's been two years now…" Pansy looked into the grey eyes watching her, "I didn't mean for all of this to happen," she finished, sounding much more vulnerable than before.
After several moments of uncomfortable silence surpassed them, Blaise was the first to break the tension amongst the trio.
Without saying anything, the darker teen pulled Pansy into his arms, not being able to hold a grudge against his girlfriend any longer.
"Thanks, love," she whispered into his ear as she quickly wrapped her arms about his neck.
"Don't mention it," was his short response before Zabini pulled away and placed a small kiss upon her forehead. The couple then turned to Draco expectantly.
"Couldn't that have waited?" he asked halfheartedly, feigning disgust at their previous display.
Pansy simply laughed in relief and playfully pushed Blaise away when he tried kissing her again to get at their friend.
"Forgive me?" she asked, taking a step towards Draco, her blue eyes shining with hope.
Malfoy shook his head, "You do know you're insane, right?"
Normally, Parkinson would've taken offense to that, but today she chose to hug the blonde rather than hit or tease him.
"Okay, okay," Malfoy patted her back, "that's enough," he tried telling the girl who had him in a near death grip.
And while Pansy didn't apologize for almost choking him, she did let go of her best friend. "So, Thomas and Weaselette broke it off," she eagerly informed Draco as he massaged his now-sore neck.
"Are you sure?" he asked, looking to be a mixture of both shock and disbelief.
"Wait," Blaise cut in before Parkinson could respond. "Before she tells you everything, I want in on this deal," he told them, referring to the one they'd made about her not being able to share the new information with Malfoy so long as they weren't speaking.
"What?" they inquired in unison, equally curious.
"You two have to promise not to put me through this again," he started seriously.
"What are you going on about?" Draco asked while Pansy stood by his side just as confused.
Zabini rolled his eyes, "Ever since we arrived here this year, you two have done nothing but go at it with each other," he informed them before getting to the point. "No more fighting, alright? I'm sick of it. I was this close to going mad," he over exaggerated by holding two of his fingers less than an inch apart.
Malfoy and Parkinson each had the decency to appear slightly embarrassed by their actions and silently agreed to accept Blaise's end of the deal.
"Well, go on then," Blaise ordered as the opposite two had yet to carry on with their previous conversation.
"Oh, right," Pansy shook her head and turned back to Draco. "Well, Granger told me…"
And so she went on relaying her earlier discussion with Hermione, pleased with the new-found normalcy amongst her and the boys.
…
"Ah, Harry," Remus greeted the young raven-haired teen into his office. "I wondered when you'd show up," he smiled.
Harry smiled back, yet more so sheepishly as he'd been late. "Sorry," he said, making his way to the sofa held within the left side of the room, "I went flying-"
"Well, that explains it," the professor followed his suit and took a seat beside him, "You are so much like your father," Lupin chuckled in thought.
"Except for the eyes," Harry couldn't help but to joke. He'd just been so stressed lately. His words were nothing more than a feeble attempt for a much needed laugh.
"So, how have you been?" the older man asked once they'd sobered up.
"Alright, I suppose," he shrugged, not wanting to give yesterday's events much thought.
Lupin looked disappointed, "You are a very poor liar, Harry, I'm sure you know that."
The Gryffindor looked away shamefully and debated whether or not he should tell Remus about his Occulemency incident with Snape. "I don't want to talk about it," he quickly made up his mind. There was just no way Harry could allow one of his only adult friends to see him as weak.
Remus sighed. He'd been expecting that. "I've noticed you and Mr. Malfoy haven't been at each other's throats this term," he pointed out, hoping the change in topic would shake the boy out of his surly mood.
However, Harry's expression only turned darker. "Yeah, a lot of things have changed this year."
Lupin, not being daft by any means, quickly caught on to the empty words hanging about the room. "You've all been doing so well with moving on," he informed the teen. "I hope you will not let the actions of others to sway you from such a progressive path," Remus cautioned.
Harry ran a hand through his unruly hair, "I know," he confessed, "it's just…" how could he put it? With his animosity towards Snape, frustration against Malfoy, and confused feelings about Hermione…Harry wasn't sure how to describe the way he felt these days.
"You don't have to explain anything to me," Lupin put a comforting hand on his best friend's, godson's shoulder. "Just know that I'm here if you ever do wish to talk."
Still feeling slightly guilty for how their short meeting turned out, Harry thanked him and promised to eventually take Remus up on his offer.
So, for the time being, the two decided to speak of much lighter subjects.
"How are things with Tonks?" Harry asked.
In that moment, Lupin wished he had pried harder for the teen to open up.
…
About an hour before supper was to start, Hermione found herself pacing before the entrance to her house's common room. She'd just finished speaking with Professor Snape, and to be honest, the girl could barely recall managing to walk all the way up to the tower.
At first, the potion's master had been angry with the prefect for having heard his private discussion with Potter. It wasn't until later that Granger made him see how she didn't mean to eavesdrop at all and that she was merely concerned for her best friend.
Eventually, after about half an hour, the two had reached a compromise of sorts. Hermione would convince Harry to see the headmaster about his relatives and Snape would allow for her to join them.
…Well, that is if she could get Harry's forgiveness for going behind his back again.
Hermione inwardly groaned. Why did her life have to be so complicated? What with the Slytherins change in attitude, Ginny's dilemma with Malfoy, her actually getting detentions this year…and the absence of Ron; she would surely be losing her head soon.
"Forget the password?" somebody asked, breaking her reverie. Startled, the brunette looked up quickly only to see Neville who must have made his way towards her whilst she was distracted.
"Neville!" she caught her breath, "No," Hermione answered, recalling his question, "I was just thinking, is all."
The taller teen looked as if he was going to pry his classmate for more details on that, but let the matter momentarily drop as he switched the topic. "Figured as much," he grinned at her, "Usually it's me who forgets the passwords."
She let out a relieved laugh, "I should hope that's no longer the case as you're meant to always know it now."
Neville shook his head, "Yeah, I don't know what Professor McGonagall was thinking when she chose me to be a prefect."
"Don't say that," Hermione berated him, "You're great at it," she complimented, in spite of what he thought.
"Um, thanks," he smiled weakly. It wasn't often that he was spoken highly of so Neville was uncertain if he should say something nice back.
After thinking about it, "We have rounds tonight, yeah?" was what he ended up saying instead.
"Yes, actually," Hermione replied, freeing Neville of his inner conflict. "Would you like to meet in the common room around eight?" she asked.
"Sure," he nodded his head, "I'll see you then."
It was after those words that Neville turned to the Fat Lady's portrait and asked Hermione if she knew the password.
…
"Harry, wait," Hermione called after her friend as he was about to join the other boys for bed that night. She walked over to where he stood by the spiral staircase and continued, "I need to speak with you about something."
"Oh," he looked back at Neville who was waiting behind him, "I'll be up later," Harry told him.
"I'm actually waiting for Hermione," he admitted.
"We have prefect duties tonight," the girl explained upon noticing Harry's confused expression. "Do you mind waiting upstairs for a moment, Neville?" she asked politely.
"Sure," he went along with it, "ten minutes?"
"Yes, that will do," Hermione agreed.
"Alright," Neville smiled tiredly and turned away.
"Thank you!" she put in as he left.
"I'll wake him when I go up," Harry let her know after the other boy was out of earshot.
Although she was feeling completely stressed on the inside, Hermione managed a small laugh at that. "I'd appreciate it."
The two then ventured over to their favorite spot in the common room, which left them both sitting on a soft maroon rug before the fireplace.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Harry asked after a few moments of utter silence went by. He'd expected her to say something by now.
"Look, Harry," she took a breath, unsure of how to say this. "I overheard your conversation with Professor Snape that day we were all out at the lake," Hermione decided bluntness would be best at this point.
Emerald eyes widened in horror and held a gleam of denial within them.
"I didn't mean to," she went on quickly, not wanting to permanently wreck their friendship. The fights they'd had so far this year were already too many. "I was-"
"It doesn't matter," Harry cut her off. "I don't want to talk about it," he then tried to stand up.
Hermione, however, wouldn't allow him to do so. She didn't want a repeat of last year where the other Gryffindor avoided her and Ron at all costs, refusing to tell either of them anything. It would be so much worse this time if Harry chose to revert back to that as she no longer had the red-head for company.
"Harry, please," she pulled him back down. "I know you're upset-"
"I don't want to talk about it, Hermione," he repeated, more forcefully this time.
"But you need to," she tried telling him.
"No, I don't!" he snapped, finally getting up. There were many things…almost everything, he'd share with her, but this was just too personal for Harry to speak of with anybody.
"I don't want to fight with you-"
"Then don't ask me to talk about this," he told Hermione simply.
"I'm sorry," she shook her head, "but I have to," the brunette stood as well. "You need to speak with Professor Dumbledore-"
"Why?" he interrupted her once more, "I don't live with them anymore," Harry impatiently pointed out, "So what does it matter?"
"Harry, they shouldn't be allowed to get away with whatever they did to you," Hermione stated firmly, tears still spilling into her caramel colored eyes. While she didn't know the details, the sixth year was intelligent enough to know they were far from pleasant. The way her friend returned to Hogwarts each year looking so thin and worn…she didn't know why she hadn't acted on this sooner.
About to fight her on that, Harry's anger dissipated the second he realized the girl before him was about to cry. "Mione-" he was about to apologize for shouting at her when she decided to speak again.
"Just promise me you'll go with Professor Snape tomorrow evening to talk with Dumbledore," Hermione pleaded again. "I'll come too, if you'd like," she added, hoping he'd agree to those terms.
Harry sighed. He didn't want another fight, but going to the headmaster with this was something he couldn't see himself doing. Dumbledore had more important matters to deal with at the moment. The man was to die by the end of the year for Merlin's sake, Harry thought. Surely the last thing he wanted was to hear his sob story.
Being able to read her friend like a book, Hermione broke his train of thought. "Professor Dumbledore cares for you very much, Harry," she reminded him. "He'd want to know about this."
Harry thought about that and instantly realized Hermione was right. Hell, when wasn't she? Still, he truly didn't want to do this; especially with Snape in the same room.
"I'll go with you," Hermione told him again. "It'll be okay," she tried assuring him.
Looking into her eyes, he knew denying her request would be impossible, despite his wishes. Hermione's eyes were sad, yet filled with so much hope that he couldn't turn her down.
"Alright," he reluctantly agreed.
Hermione beamed and wiped a stray tear from her face. "Thank you," she said almost inaudibly before pulling him into a tight embrace. The shorter teen was just happy that Harry hadn't decided to push her away again. Finally, he was letting somebody in and she couldn't be more grateful that the person in question was her.
After standing comfortably within each other's arms for several minutes, it was a loud crashing sound that quickly broke the two apart, much to Harry's displeasure.
"S-sorry," Neville stuttered, pathetically attempting to regain his composure. Obviously, he'd caught his friends in the middle of a 'moment' and tried to sneak back into his dormitory without success. The fallen desk to his left was evidence of that. "The ten minutes had passed and so I thought I'd come down…" he drifted off.
"Right," Hermione quickly walked over to him. "We really should be going," she went on, her cheeks red. She'd never hugged Harry for so long before and was clearly embarrassed to be caught doing so now. "I'll see you tomorrow," Hermione told him, practically dragging a very confused Neville off afterwards.
…
Fifteen minutes passed by until Harry was able to make his way upstairs, as he was left just as much, if not more so, bewildered as his dorm-mate.
…
Down in the Slytherin common room, Draco could be found sitting alone by a window that held a perfect view of the lake (as each one did).
Currently, he was reading a letter sent to him from his mother. It read:
Draco,
I apologize for not having written to you sooner, but as you can imagine, I haven't had much spare time as of late.
Moving out of the Manor proved more difficult than I originally thought it would be…but no matter. It is done now, so you need not wonder of the progress being made there anymore.
Aside from that, living with my cousin is exactly as I had anticipated. Sirius has to be one of the most uncouth adults I have ever had the displeasure of associating with. He is untidy, ill-mannered, and completely disrespectful.
However, do not worry for me, Draco. I am perfectly capable of managing him, I assure you.
In fact, by the time you visit for the holiday, expect a change for the better in regards to his behavior. I simply will not live with a man whom insists on acting as if he were still a child.
You do still intend to see your mother over winter break, yes?
I hope so, darling, for I miss you terribly.
I send you all my love.
Draco had laughed numerous times upon reading Narcissa's letter. Black had his hands full, of that much he was certain.
…
Harry was just about to drift off into the world of unconsciousness when a soft tapping noise came from the window beside his bed. Half-asleep, the raven-haired teen quietly made his way over to the clear colored glass and let Hedwig in so that she could give him his letter.
"Thanks, girl," he petted the owl for a moment before tearing into the letter from his godfather.
Harry,
I'm glad you kept to your promise and remembered to write.
Yes, I did know Remus would be returning to his post this year. I kept it from you as I wanted it to be a surprise. And, trust me, it wasn't easy.
Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes is, without a doubt, the best place I have ever worked at.
(Okay, so maybe it's one of the only, but never matter)
I'll agree with you though. Those pygmy puffs are almost as annoying as Kreacher…but I'm sure Lyra isn't as bad you claim her to be. And honestly, did you expect me not to laugh at that? It's like you don't even know me, Harry.
As for coming up with any new ideas, you will just have to wait until Christmas to see what I have planned, I'm afraid.
That is fitting, after all, since I have to wait to hear about why, in Merlin's name, you had to meet with Snivellus.
Alright, so I will be honest with you. I did know that my cousin and her son would be joining us at number twelve. I'd apologize for this, but I didn't want to further upset you this summer.
If it makes you feel any better, Narcissa is has been nothing short of a nightmare. So, you shouldn't feel obligated to be angry with me as I'm already serving out my punishment here with her. The woman isn't as bad as living in Azkaban…but I swear there are days where I almost miss my solitude there.
Don't fret, though, kiddo. I promise that those two won't get in our way of having a good time. In fact, it'll be like they don't live there at all. We can just ignore them, how about that?
…You and Miss Granger, eh? I can't say that I didn't see this one coming. Perhaps we should have I talk when you arrive.
Until then, write back soon, alright?
Padfoot
Oh, and congratulations about making quidditch captain. I know your father would be proud.
Harry smiled at that last sentence and began writing his response letter, deciding to tell Sirius about his renewed Occulemency lessons to be held with Snape.
Then, after shipping Hedwig off into the starry night sky, just as he was finally about to fall asleep, Lyra began to sing.
A/N: Hey guys!
Okay, let me start off by saying how sorry I am for the major delay.
If you read what was meant to be chapter twenty-four, but was actually a note from me, then you'll understand what took me so long.
Forgive me? :)
Anyways, thank you to: god of all, pawsrule, TsukiyoTenshi, and NorthernLights25, for reviewing since my last update! It really does mean a lot to me.
For those of you who have read this chapter, please let me know what you thought of it.
Feedback is my motivation!
Until then...