Author's note: So here we get to chapter 5. Just want to go over somethings that other people have said, not really on here, but on deviant art. I felt it was important enough for everyone else to see it.

Buzzz1 wrote: "Damn this is good.
At first I thought that shepard would never cheat on liara, then I realised he wasn't himself. A question though. If shepard was strong enough to fight of the reaper indoctrination, why isn't he now? Even if the nanites are present in his synthetics, the mental renegade shepard is not in the synthetic parts. The paragon part should have the upper hand, as it did with the inoctrination. I hope they have a good psychiatrist over there "

Here is my answer, its a little long, but I just want to explain things thoroughly for you guys: "First of all, I love all these questions cause they help me think but also help others understand the story better. Sometimes I have no idea how to fit certain things into the story, and your questions usually hit them perfectly on the spot so I can answer them. Or I never had thought of certain things until you asked about it. This question is big and so it deserves a big reply... IM SORRY IN ADVANCE. xD
Shepard is unable to fight the renegade-ness because it is originating within himself. Indoctrination, although the nanites were inside him, involves inserting foreign ideas into the mind to attempt to sway the person. Shepard survived indoctrination because he has an incredibly strong will that was able to fight these foreign thoughts.
Now the mental Shep (what I'll refer to as the renegade Shepard personality) is something that has developed in his own mind. Just think, he's decided against renegade things ranging from killing the rachni queen to suppressing the thoughts to kill annoying characters. In fact, Shepard could have just killed EVERYONE in his path. But he didn't do it. He theoretically could have banged every squad mate (bear with me I know you couldn't do it in real game, but if this was real life...) Instead, he stuffed all renegade thoughts into his subconscious in favor of a paragon personality.
There the nanites took over. They began to amplify the subconscious renegade thoughts that Shepard has suppressed. Now imagine you are dealing with temptation and your own personal demons. One by one, its still a challenge sometimes right? Now imagine all of them getting at you at once. You'd get overwhelmed right? That's what happened to Shepard. All those renegade thoughts surfaced at once, and amplified by the nanites no less. Obviously those extreme renegade thoughts were shut down because they opposed the paragon thoughts most, but many others slipped the cracks. Once those started to slip the cracks, other renegade thoughts became easier to accept. Thus starts a terrible moral dilemma inside Shepard's head.
All leading to the terrible state that Shepard is in. I tried to show that he isn't purely converted, first in his consciousness with Shiala, and also when she talks him down. Paragon Shep hasn't given up the fight just yet, but its hard.

"A house divided cannot stand." Shepard is definitely divided that's for sure.
Also, about the nanites being in his synthetics but the mental shep is in his mind, in indoctrination, aren't the nanites present in the body but affect the mind as well? Hmmm Just thinking, might want to fix the explanation to take account for a better explanation for that.

I hope these are the answers that you were seeking. "

For those of you that do have questions, don't hesitate to ask. I will do my best to answer all of them! Kinda had to rush this out, but I don't think I forgot anything.

AND NOW BACK TO YOUR NON-REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM

I've had enough.

Liara piloted the shuttle out of the Normandy's shuttle bay and down to the surface of Earth.

"Agent report!" She commanded into her omni-tool.

"Commander Shepard has entered the Liquid Heaven, a bar in Vancouver. He has remained there for two hours, Shadow Broker." A voice protruded from the omni-tool in response.

"Continue surveillance. I want an immediate update if his position changes." She answered. So he's crazy, and now a high chance that he's drunk as well… Great. She pushed the throttle to the max as she sent the shuttle for the bar.

"Yes, Shadow Broker."

She found a suitable parking space and landed hastily. She sprinted out of the shuttle and made the short distance to the bar on foot. Here goes nothing.

"Agent, cease surveillance." She spoke into the omni-tool.

"Order acknowledged, Shadow Broker." The agent responded. I don't want myself to be compromised by my own agents. I'm the Shadow Broker.

She took a deep breath and entered the bar. The bar was mostly empty, and a thick haze of cigarette smoke made it hard to analyze faces for Shepard. She walked to around, taking a casual stop to check out the patrons. She had just walked past a booth when a shot glass came flying at her, just barely missing her face and hitting the wall behind her.

"Bitch." Shepard's voice spoke to her left. Immediately she let out a biotic blast in that direction. She heard the biotics connect with a target and then heard the thud of the body hit the floor. If it was Shepard, that definitely would not have killed him. But that's not it just yet.

She walked toward the body on the floor. The body lay face first on the ground, with no movement whatsoever. Did I miscalculate? She turned the body over.

As Liara turned his body over, Shepard kicked upwards, feeling his foot knock into Liara's skull. He knew asari physiology, and a broken crest was just like a broken nose to a human, but all over the head. She fell over but regained quickly with a graceful roll.

"What was that? Are you trying to kill me?" He shouted. Making a scene will force her to reconsider. He looked around for support from the patrons, but they were all leaving from the scene. Even the bartender locked himself up in the back room. Must get more action than I think they do.

Liara answered with a biotic pull. Shepard levitated in the air for a second. Here it comes. Shepard then slammed into the floor. He quickly stood up as he had braced for impact and threw another shot glass at Liara. She dodged the bottle this time with a cartwheel, but Shepard was on her in seconds. She was stuck in a grapple in no time. Shepard moved his head close to her right ear.

"I want you to know, I'm different now. I now realize that those that I helped, those that are now better because of me, are weak. Just like you. You can't accept that your beloved Shepard is done with you."

Liara struggled in the grapple. "Stop... Shepard please stop you need help."

Shepard laughed quietly. "No, I want you to think about it, it's the truth. You are nothing; I should have left you before." He shifted his hold on her in the grapple, causing pain to Liara. Her eyes began to tear up.

"Stop, Shepard please."

"Only when I'm finished, Liara."

"Shepard, you're sick you need help." Liara began to cry.

Shepard began to laugh. He applied pressure to the hold, causing even more pain to Liara.

"STOP!" Liara screamed. She knocked Shepard off in an impressive display of biotic power. She turned to face him. Shepard tried to get up, and Liara answered with a biotic throw. The throw knocked Shepard onto the jagged edges of one of the glasses Shepard threw earlier. He raised his head, big gashes in his face displaying a faint glow of the synthetics underneath.

Again, Shepard tried to get up but Liara threw him down again. Tears began to flow uncontrollably. "I... I love you Shepard, and this is what you do to me." Again she threw him, his body making a thud with the wall. Each time Shepard got up a little slower. "Or maybe it's the synthetics that are making you do this." Liara sighed. "Maybe it'd be best to kill you right now and stop all of us from suffering." She shook her head at the thought.

"Why do you not care for me anymore?"

THUD

"Why the violence now?"

THUD

"WHY DID YOU CHEAT ON ME?" Liara felt her emotions get the best of her. "WHY?" In her rage her began to shoot out biotic throws one after the other. Each one hit Shepard, and this time, he did not try to get up. Liara shook her head.

"I loved you Shepard, but now..." Her biotics flared up once more. Her arm raised to deliver the finishing blow. "I don't think that you can go back to the way you were before."

Her hand began to move forward to unleash the shot, but a green hand knocked her arm, causing the shot to miss its target. Liara turned to see Shiala.

"You don't know how much he cares about you Liara." She said.

Liara didn't hear a thing. "YOU." She stated, fuming. Her biotics flared up threateningly.

"You're in his thoughts constantly Liara." Shiala stated, trying to defuse the situation. Liara didn't answer so she continued to explain. "I melded with him and-"

Liara threw Shiala over a table. "I know. And don't you dare say anything about that." She glared at her. "Shepard is MINE." Liara began to approach Shiala, a murderous look in her eyes. Her biotics flared up. "You took him from me."

Shiala backed up. "It's not like that, he told me that you had broken up!" She looked away. "I was stupid... I believed him."

"YOU TOLD HER WHAT?" She swung around and shot another biotic throw at Shepard. Instead the throw impacted with the wall. Shepard was gone. Liara sprinted out the bar and looked around. Shepard was nowhere to be seen. Bastard slipped away.

Liara went back into the bar and went back to Shiala. Shiala still sat on the ground where Liara had left her. Liara took a deep breath and pulled out her pistol. She breathed heavily from the exertion. "I wasn't going to use this on Shepard, but I will not hesitate to use it on you. Shepard is gone, and I blame you. You slept and melded with my bond mate. Now tell me everything before all this stress makes me snap."

Shiala complied. "When I mel-" She looked up at the gun and the angry lover wielding it. "-erm, shared consciousness with Shepard, at first we were together alone. But then strange things began appearing. There was another Shepard there, yelling at the real Shepard about what has he done. And then there were you, pleading him to get help, and that you believed that the real him was in there somewhere." Shiala looked to see that the gun was at Liara's hip again. "I was so confused. He ran from it all in desperation and I cut it off there."

"Oh Shepard." Liara's voice had suddenly lost every threatening tone. Something gentle and very fragile surfaced. "The real Shepard is still there. And now he's lost control." She sat down, pulled her knees to her chest and began to cry. Shiala awkwardly hugged Liara.

"There definitely is the real Shepard trapped in there somewhere." She agreed.

Liara looked up. "And we are going to rescue him."

Liara helped Shiala up and she helped her to the shuttle to get to the Normandy.

Shepard hadn't been to too many places on Earth. And most of the places that he had been to were pummeled to smithereens by the Reapers. Vancouver was not an option; Liara had taught him that. His next best destination would be London. There were the large refugee camps there still, and Shepard needed a big place to get lost in. He had managed to escape the bar, but painfully so. It had felt like every bone in his body was broken, which was probably an understatement. He had used a secret canister of medigel that he had. He anticipated starting a fight in the bar and wanted to be prepared, but unfortunately the fight had come to him, and not on his own terms. Now it was around four months later, and Shepard was starting to feel fully recovered.

To get to London and to avoid being followed, Shepard took an incredibly long way by foot. First he went down south and worked his way up in a zigzag. The ferry he took actually was going to Naples, and then he worked his way up and was taking another ferry to London. In that time, no woman was safe, Shepard took who he pleased. Any asari he took experienced the same thing as Shiala did, except their reactions were getting worse with each fling. Some went willingly with him, others did not. Shepard enjoyed the power, the power of being in command. He just couldn't stop.

The ferry rocked as it pulled into dock. Now it's time to disappear. Shepard pulled up the collar on the trench coat that he wore to hide his glowing scars and joined the flood of people getting off the boat. London seemed better than he remembered it. Looking around he could see Alliance ships and workers milling about, some working on reconstruction, and others tasked with helping refugees. So they took my idea and I'm not even in charge anymore… bastards. The Alliance seemed very organized. I wonder who took my place.

"I like that idea Dr. T'soni. The reconstruction fleets will respond accordingly." Admiral Hackett thanked her. "I just want to mention one more thing before I leave."

"And what is that?" Liara answered.

"I know it's been a while, but the prototype engines on the Normandy are all complete."

Liara looked away. "Oh… That." She muttered.

"I know you are still looking for Shepard but the engines are all done. I can relieve you of command of Earth's reconstruction whenever you like so you can leave."

Liara nodded slightly. "Ok I see, thank you Admiral."

"Hackett out." Hackett disappeared from the comm station. Liara sighed and made her way down the steps into her war room turned Shadow Broker lair. She checked her feeds. The hourly reports of her agents all returned the same thing: Shepard is nowhere to be found. She then turned off the displays and went to eat, something she normally forgot to do.

Shepard shuffled along with the refuge crowds to the camps. Last time when he had been to the camps they were smaller. Back then the only refugees at the time were the soldiers that had just fought in London. Now humans from all over are trying to get a safe place to sleep. In addition, space crews from the SWORD fleet also needed some time on world. Those that were on the citadel also made their ways to London. What resulted was a controlled chaos.

In the long while that Shepard had walking before he got to London, he had devised a plan to get out of trouble. And there was someone that he needed to find in the chaos. Someone else who craved power just like he did.

Liara looked around the table as she ate. Shiala ate to herself quietly. She had taken up a spot on the Normandy to sleep, and was a pleasure to have on board. Her pregnancy was going well, Chakwas told her that the time was coming when she would give birth. Secretly Liara was immensely jealous, as she should be having the baby, not Shiala. Garrus and Tali had just left the table to go back to their room. Ashley munched away quietly as well. All three sat in an awkward silence. Shepard would have us all talking if he were here. Dr. Chakwas also was working on a salad. She was there because she did not trust Liara to eat alone. Eating alone means digesting Shadow Broker feeds, not digesting. Chakwas' voice popped up in Liara's head.

Chakwas was looking at her.

"Dear, it seems you got lost in thought again. Take another bite."

Liara smiled. At least she cares. She then took another bite.

"I wanted to talk to you about Shepard, Liara."

At the sound of her lost lover's name, Liara stopped chewing. "Why?"

"I am concerned, if you find him, what will you do to cure him? Have you thought about that at all?"

Liara stood up defensively. "I will find him. I'm the Shadow Broker. It's not a question of if, but when."

"Take another bite."

"Yes doctor." Liara sat back down and took another bite.

"You should do some research and see what you can do. I'll get in contact with Dr. Morrow again. Let's see what he thinks."

Liara nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

She stood up, picking up her food as well. "I'm going to go to the war room to do some research, I'll finish this there I promise."

Chakwas laughed. "No you won't. Sit down and finish eating."

Yes mother.

"The queen of Omega, now queen of the Refugee camp."

"You know how I like to live, Shepard."

Aria, former queen of omega, head of the united mercenary groups, was laid out on a makeshift throne of couches. The couches were survivors of the Reaper bombardments, most likely taken from several different homes. Aria looked at him with indifference.

"Why are you here?"

"I need your help."

Aria laughed. "Everyone needs my help. What makes you think I'll listen?"

"Because I'm god damn Commander Shepard, that's why."

Aria could not hide her surprise at that comment.

"And here I thought Shepard was a goody two shoes kind of guy."

"Things have changed."

She folded her arms. "Yes they have." She thought for a moment. "I will help you, but then you have to help me."

"Fine."

"So what is it?"

"I need to disappear."

"One does not simply disappear, Commander Shepard. One has to disappear from someone's radar. Who is it?"

"The Shadow Broker."

Aria stopped and looked up at Shepard. "Things go south with you and Dr. T'soni?"

"Watch your mouth. Can you do it?"

She laughed. "Oh I can do it alright. But it will take me a while to get your fake ID set in place. Should be easier with the state things are in right now." Shepard turned to leave. "I'm not finished." Shepard faced her again. "And as payment for my help, you will be my bitch. Crystal clear?"

"Crystal." He cracked his knuckles. "Should be quite fun actually."

She laughed for a moment before showing indifference again. And that was his cue to leave.

Shepard looked at himself in the mirror. The two more months that he was around waiting for the IDs and fake back story to be cemented did not do anything to heal the scars. He turned from the mirror. He lived in a small apartment that was slightly damaged from the attacks; it was on the outskirts of the city. He shared the apartment with three others, two turians and a batarian. The turians knew each other, and would not stop mentioning how Shepard looked like Commander Shepard. If only they knew. The batarian just kept to himself. Shepard exited the apartment and made his way down the stairs to the bottom. He was going to head to Aria's to check up on things.

He left the building and was greeted to a company of Alliance soldiers. He breathed a sigh of relief as he noticed that the soldiers were not intent on any targets, just milling about. Shepard stopped and watched as some soldiers entered another building and asked for IDs. Must be taking a census to see who is here. Shepard avoided the soldiers and ducked into another building. As he ran into the entryway, he ran right into another soldier walking out. Both fell down.

"Sorry." Shepard said as he brought himself up, trying to avoid eye contact. He put his collar back up over his scars.

The soldier didn't answer for a second. "SHEPARD!"