A/N: I am overwhelmed at the positive feedback that I've gotten from this story; I was so surprised, and I've decided to continue this fic, as there is so much potential for where I can take it. Thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed, subscribed, and favorited. I am so appreciative of you all. Let's see where this story goes! Thanks for coming along for the ride! All rights to TNT, writers, producers, etc. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!
Maura stumbled into her door, before fumbling with her keys and struggling to unlock the offending obstacle. She had been in a trance since running into Jane on the street, unable to think, but somehow wound up at a bar a few blocks down. The bartender had served her the martini she requested, noting the look on her face, and had communicated silently with any of the men that had started to approach her, and they respectfully backed away. She did not look at anything except her drink the entire time, and the man sighed, knowing he would need to call a cab for this one later. Maura signaled time and time again for another, and he cut her off before her sixth.
"A cab is waiting outside for you miss." The older man gave her a sympathetic smile, wondering what man put her in his barstool like that.
Maura met his eyes briefly before sweeping away, thanking him wordlessly, and she inwardly cursed her high heeled Choos while walking away, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. She slid into the awaiting cab, reciting her address to the cab driver as she leaned her head against the cool window of the taxi. Jane. She looked so beautiful, but so different. Almost…haunted. Like a ghost of the woman I used to know. And then Dean…the name made her stomach heave, the contents of her stomach churned around with the alcohol she had ingested. Maura took a deep breath in an attempt to sober herself up and keep the remainder of her dignity. She tipped the driver heavily, not caring that she'd thrusted a hundred dollar bill into his hand.
She burst into her door, and jumped out of her skin when she saw a figure sitting at her kitchen table.
Jane unlocked her apartment door, walking in and grabbed a beer from the fridge before ambling over to her couch where she plopped down and put her feet up on the coffee table, crossing one leg over the other and flipped on the television. Her mind was racing as was her heart rate, which had been erratic since running into Maura on the street. She absentmindedly flipped through the channels, settling on SportsCenter. Jane took a swig of her beer, feeling the icy liquid flood through her throat and down through her body. She closed her eyes, relishing in the feeling, and as a weight settled down beside her, her eyes fluttered open, seeing Gabriel settling in next to her, a beer in hand and a plate of leftover gnocchi. There was no exchange of words, just routine that they had grown accustomed to.
"Wow…so Maura…" Gabriel let the sentence trail off, not sure how to form his thoughts to Jane.
"Yeah, you know what, I think I'm just going to go to bed, alright?" Jane picked up her empty bottle, tossing it in the trash can on her way to the bedroom. Gabriel Dean let her go, watching her back as she shuffled towards the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She leaned against the door, sagging down against it before collapsing onto the floor, and Jane Rizzoli silently began to break down.
"Angela, what are you doing here?" Maura exclaimed, placing a hand against her racing heart, the other hand bracing herself against the wall. She flipped the rest of the lights on, bending down to slide the straps off of her sling backs, proving to be a much more difficult task in her intoxicated state. She hadn't seen much of Angela Rizzoli since she left BPD; the woman had steered clear of Maura's place, although the doctor had never asked her to leave, as it wasn't in her nature to do that.
"I think it's time we have a little talk." Angela's motioned to the medical examiner, who awkwardly maneuvered into a chair, putting her head in her hands when the older woman placed a glass of water in front of her.
"Thank you," she mumbled, running a hand through her messy blonde curls, taking a long sip of the water, it's refreshing taste coursing through her system.
Angela sat down across from her, and took one of Maura's hands in hers. "Jane told me she saw you today."
Maura averted her gaze, willing the tears that were threatening her vision to go away.
"What happened between you and my daughter?" Angela's voice was soft, comforting, in a motherly tone that Maura had grown to appreciate from the older woman. "I know it wasn't just the warehouse shooting."
"Angela, I really don't think what happened between Jane and I has any relevance; it's in the past. It is what it is." Maura spoke quietly, but Angela was a clever woman and did not miss the crack in the honey blonde's voice when she said Jane's name.
"How long?"
"How long…?"
"How long have you been in love with my daughter?" Angela kept her eyes on Maura, and when the medical examiner looked back up at her with widened tear-filled eyes, her suspicions were confirmed. Maura moved swiftly, surprisingly quick for her state, and went to the couch where she plopped down with her head in her hands, her body wracked with silent sobs. "Oh honey." Angela picked up the discarded glass, bringing it to the end table and setting it by Maura before sitting down and enveloping the younger woman in her arms. Maura leaned into her, letting herself be comforted by the most maternal figure she knew, her tears falling freely from her eyes. After a few minutes, her body quieted into soft hiccups, and she reached for her water glass. Angela angled her body toward her, picking up her hand and squeezing it gently.
Maura took a deep breath, too overcome with her emotions to keep them in any longer. "I've suspected my feelings for Jane have changed from platonic for quite some time now. Ever since that terrible day when Bobby Marino took her hostage…" Maura's eyes fluttered shut as she remembered.
Down in the morgue, Jane putting her arm over her, shielding her from Marino, and telling her it would be fine as he dragged her upstairs. The SWAT team bursted in only moments later, and all she could think about was Jane. Running up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, only thinking about getting to Jane. Then, her voice. Jane's voice. Hoarse and raised, instructing her colleagues to take the shot. No. Not her Jane. Her Jane. The door seemed so far away, and she finally pushed it open, sunlight blinding her as she screamed out her name and heard the shot. Jane collapsing on the sidewalk, a bullet through her stomach, so much blood. Everywhere. Jane's blood. Her Jane.
Fresh tears streaked her face as she opened her eyes. "I couldn't lose her. She was my best friend. I've never had a best friend before. It was always Jane."
"My daughter always had a way of making people worry about her." Angela rolled her eyes, prompting a tiny chuckle from Maura, knowing that someone understood her constant worries for Jane.
"It's her job, she loves it, more than anything. I just…I needed to be sure she wasn't going to leave me again like that. So I didn't tell her about my suspicions about my feelings for her. I couldn't bear the thought of her walking away and losing the only best friend I've ever had. But I lost her anyway."
"You didn't lose her Maura, you walked away." Angela leaned back as Maura tipped her glass upwards, sipping her water again, feeling the alcohol's effects ebbing away.
"I had to. Ever since Barry told me she was pregnant…I was going to tell her, you know. After the warehouse shooting, I was so angry with her. But after 7 weeks of not having Jane around, not having my best friend, all I felt for her was forgiveness, and love. And then she got pregnant with Gabriel, and I knew I couldn't come between the life she could have, but I knew I couldn't stand to see them together, see him having everything I wanted with her. But she could be happy, happy with him and happy with their baby, and all that I've ever wanted was for her to be happy."
Angela sat silently, processing this information, and it was minutes before she finally spoke. "Maura, darling, Jane was a wreck after you left. You didn't even say goodbye to her. She didn't talk for days at a time, except at work. She functioned automatically, like a robot or something, refusing to speak to anyone about you, even to Agent Dean. She didn't eat, and she didn't sleep. I moved in with her, sleeping on the pull out couch and listened to her crying out through her nightmares. My daughter was anything but happy."
"But now she is, she has the family she wanted, and her and Gabriel are making a life with each other." Maura felt sick to her stomach, and this time she knew it wasn't the alcohol. Her whole body ached, the pain radiating from her chest and pulsating through her body.
"You need to talk to Jane. I know there were a lot of things that happened between you and her, but you need to talk to her."
"I don't think that's a good idea Angela, every time that I think about her my heart aches. I can't put myself through this, I can't be her best friend again."
Angela shook her head. "You know the number. I know my daughter, she would want to hear from you. And you know, you're the only one who could keep her nightmares away."
Jane's phone buzzed on the bedside table, and she looked at the clock on the table. 1:30am. She groaned, and picked it up.
"Rizzoli."
"Jane." Jane's eyes widened at the voice on the other end, now completely awake and she slipped out of bed, leaving a snoring Gabriel Dean under the sheets. "Did I wake you?"
Jane padded to the living room, sinking down into the couch, curling her legs up next to her. "No uh…I was awake. Nightmares…you know." Dammit, why did I just tell her that? She's not calling to talk about my problems. "I'm uh, well, I'm surprised you called."
"Me too. Jane, I completely understand if you don't say yes to this, but I'd like to speak with you, in person." Maura felt her voice waver as she heard a soft sigh on the other end, her heart pounding in trepidation at the thought of rejection from Jane.
"Yeah…no, I uh, I'd like that. Your place?" Jane grabbed her BPD sweatshirt from where it was draped across the back of the couch and picked up her keys from the counter.
"Oh, well, yes, I wasn't aware you meant tonight, but yes, of course. I don't want to interrupt your family though." Maura's heart clenched as she said those words, thoughts of Jane sleeping in the same bed as that man and their baby in a crib next to their bed. Their bed. She shuddered violently, as she polished off the rest of her glass of water.
"No, Maura, it's fine. I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?" Jane slipped on her slippers that were at the foot of the couch, and ended the call, peeking back in her bedroom.
"Gabe…Gabe…" She shook him slightly, before whispering in the dark that she was going to Maura's, and she would be back later. He mumbled out his acknowledgment before resuming his snoring, and she eased out the front door, going down the stairs, knowing this would probably be one of the longest nights of her life.