A/N: I have no excuses, other than the fact that I totally lost my drive on this story. But thanks to my LLBIFF Randall, who pushed me to get this out, I've finally got an update on this story for y'all! Hopefully my mojo will get kickin again, and I can have more frequent updates. If you're still reading, thank you so much! I appreciate each and every single one of you that take the time to read (and sometimes even review!) this story, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Leave me some feedback; I always love to hear from you guys! All rights to JTam, Tess, TNT, and I don't own the gals.
Jane rapped on the cheap wooden door of Charlotte Ramsey's apartment, the sharp sound of her knuckles barely being heard over the loud music that was coming from a few doors down. She waited impatiently, her hand on her hip and a peeved look on her face. Knocking again, she made a fist this time. It had taken four days, but Jason Perez had finally settled on a deal to knock down his sentence, and he had in turn given up the address of his girlfriend's apartment.
"Charlotte Ramsey? This is Boston PD, open up." Jane called out loudly, her brow furrowing, and she looked at Frost. "Are you sure you got the right address?"
Her partner tilted his head to the side and slanted his eyes pointedly at her.
The sound of the door creaking open behind them caused both detectives to turn around. Crying filled the air, and a tired looking brunette opened the door, the deadbolt keeping it from opening any further. There were dark circles around the girl's green eyes, and Jane gathered from the loud crying resonating off the walls that the girl hadn't had a proper night's sleep in some time.
"Are you Charlotte Ramsey?" Jane asked her, while reaching for her badge on her hip and pulled it up to show the girl her ID. The brunette gulped and nodded, and her eyes darted back and forth between Jane and Frost. "Can we come in?"
"Is this about Jason? Do you know where he is?" Charlotte reached up, sliding the deadbolt open and pulling the door wide, letting the detectives inside. Stepping inside the dingy apartment, Jane noticed the slight musty smell and resisted the urge to wrinkle her nose. Charlotte went over to the second hand playpen that was set up in the middle of their living room, and picked up the toddler and began bouncing him on her hip, trying to quiet his sobs. Jane instantly recognized him as Samuel and shared a look with Frost. Samuel's cheeks were blotchy and red, and his eyelashes were dark with tears.
Jane took a deep breath before easing into the subject as gently as possible. "Charlotte, we have Jason in investigative custody. We're gonna need you to come down to the station with us for some questions, okay?"
"Am I in trouble here?" Charlotte stopped bouncing the child on her hip, causing the boy's sobs to escalate.
"Let's go talk at the station."
Charlotte nodded and looked around her, as if she was searching for something. Awkwardly shifting the boy on her hip, she lifted him and held him out towards Jane in desperation. "Here, I just need to grab my purse."
"Uh…yeah…um…" Jane didn't know what to do, so she took the boy from Charlotte, smiling at him as he looked up into her eyes with his bright shiny blue ones. His brown hair stuck out in tufts at the sides, mucus running from his nose, and Jane quickly found herself holding him to her front and slowly rocking him back and forth. The sobs decreased to whimpers and occasional hiccups, and Jane felt his head get heavy on her chest as Samuel tucked his arm up and slipped his thumb in his mouth.
As Charlotte re-emerged from her room with her bag in tow, she smiled when she saw the detective with the sleeping boy. "Hey, you're pretty good at that. You got kids?"
The question hit Jane like a slap in the face, but she recovered quickly. "Nope, no kids." As she turned to follow Charlotte, she caught Frost's eye once again.
His eyes were warm with concern for his partner and he cleared his throat casually. "You got this Rizzoli?"
"Yeah, yeah I got this."
Five hours later, Samuel was back with his grandparents. Charlotte, as it turned out, had no idea of the custodial agreement and was very compliant with the detectives, even going as far to aid them in their case by agreeing to testify as a witness against Jason Perez. At 8pm, Frost shooed Jane out of the bullpen to go home and get some rest. Jane had stumbled wearily up the stairs to her apartment, kicking her boots off haphazardly by the door, before making her way into her bedroom. Reaching around blindly at the top of her closet, she retrieved a small box and tossed it on the bed. Tucking a leg up on the large bed, the brunette ran a hand through the mass of curls that had gone limp after the long day. She opened the lid and tossed it across the bed. Jane tipped the box up and shook it, spilling its contents onto the bed in front of her. And she stared. She carefully organized the items in front of her, and as her eyes became foggy with threatening tears, she shook her head and chalked it up to a lack of sleep and began to leave a trail of clothes across the bedroom. Shutting the door firmly behind her, she threw on the hot water in the shower, before clambering in, letting the steam and spray claim her sanity.
Maura had gone home at 5 o'clock that day with an odd sense of unease. Jane would tell her that she should "listen to her gut." Jane had changed her over the years, and it was her gut that caused her to drive by Jane's apartment that night. After having heard nothing from the detective during the rest of the week, Maura began to grow concerned. As she drew closer to Jane's apartment building, she saw Jane's squad car parked by the sidewalk. Flicking her eyes up to the window of her apartment, she noticed a dim light on inside. Maura rolled her eyes. Jane was probably watching infomercials again. That or some sports game. She glanced over her shoulder and made a U-turn, intent on driving away and letting Jane call her when she was ready, but there it was again, that darn gut feeling. Maura parked her Prius snugly to the curb, properly within twelve inches, and got out of the vehicle without hesitation. Not wasting time in thinking her actions through, she climbed the flights of stairs leading her to Jane's door. Raising her hand to the door, she rapped her knuckles firmly on it. When Jane didn't answer, she knocked again. This time when she received no answer, she located the key to Jane's apartment at the bottom of her bag that she had been given for emergencies.
There, she hesitated. Was it too soon to act like things were back to normal? Did she even have the right anymore to use the key to unlock the door, or even have the key at all? A force that she couldn't explain pulled the key to the lock, and it was almost as if the door opened of its own accord. Maura knew that was a silly thought, doors couldn't open themselves, but she felt as if her body wasn't the one in control. Pushing the door open, Maura peeked her head around and scanned the kitchen. No Jane.
"Jane?" Maura called out softly, not wanting to alarm the detective. The soft glow that had been emanating from the window was the stove light. The rest of the apartment was dark. Sliding off her heels at the door, Maura set her bag on the couch but kept her jacket on as a chill swept over her. It has to be close to 50 degrees in here, which is odd because Jane would have turned the heat up when she got home. An eerie feeling settled over Maura, who shook her head, quickly dismissing the possibility of danger. That's just a game that the mind plays when confronted with a dark and seemingly empty place. Moving towards Jane's bedroom, Maura saw a light coming from underneath the cracked door.
When she got to the door, Maura knocked gently. "Jane?" She received no response. Gently pushing the door open, Maura peered in and saw the bathroom door was shut, and she could faintly hear the sound of the shower running as her eyes caught the trail of Jane's clothing leading up to the door. That's odd, she thought, there isn't any light coming from the bathroom. She moved back to exit the room and wait for Jane on the couch, when something on Jane's bed caught her eye. Maura's curiosity got the better of her, and she padded quietly to the bed. Sitting down, she let her eyes rove over the collection of items splayed across the mattress.
Jane was standing in front of the mirror in her bathroom. The darkness marred her facial features, and all she saw looking back at her was the hollow shell of a woman she hardly recognized. Her right eye was a dark shade of purple, and when she got really close to the mirror, she could see the tell tale puffy outline of her tear-swollen eyes. You shouldn't have taken the baby, Rizzoli. Maybe Cavanaugh was right, maybe it would have been better if you'd taken yourself off this case. Stepping carefully into a pair of sweatpants she had laid on the toilet lid, Jane pulled up the comfortable pants to rest low on her hips before tugging a Red Sox t-shirt over her head. Grabbing a hair tie from the counter, Jane pulled her hair back into a ponytail and ran her hands over her face. Stealing one last disgusted look in the mirror, Jane pulled the bathroom door open and a blonde head snapped up.
Jane had reflexively reached her left hand back to her hip, forgetting her gun was in the nightstand drawer. "Jesus, Maura, what the hell are you doing here?" Her gaze dropped down to Maura's hand, which was holding a photo. Her eyes fell and averted from Maura's stare and she sighed defeatedly. "Maura, please put that away."
"Jane, I'm so sorry, I came home from work, and I just had this feeling that I had to come see you, and I shouldn't have used the key, and I shouldn't have intruded into your bedroom like this-oh my god Jane, your eye!"
Jane held up a hand and Maura's rambling ceased. The brunette ran her hand nervously over her head, forgetting her hair was in a ponytail, and she dropped the arm to her side. "Well, shit." She ambled awkwardly over to the other side of the bed and dropped down. It was pointless to try and hide what had already been seen.
Maura opened her mouth to chastise Jane for her language, but then closed it, realizing she was intruding and now wasn't the time or place. "Jane, I-"
"No Maur, don't. No one was ever supposed to see that. Come on, give it here, I'll put it away." Jane reached for the box, but Maura laid a hand on top of Jane's, stopping her from taking it.
"Jane." The soft name slipped off Maura's tongue so gently that Jane felt a surge of longing lace through her insides before it settled around her heart, pulling the strings like a marionette and pulling her eyes up towards the honey blonde. The hazel eyes that were looking into her own were not filled with pity like she had expected, but a look that caused a lump to form in Jane's throat. Jane was acutely aware of the hand that was now stroking her own, and the brunette moved to pull away, but Maura held tight.
Jane cleared her throat. "Um…Maur, you can uh…you can let go now."
The medical examiner shook her head. "No Jane, I can't. The other night, I told you I loved you, and I meant that. You were angry, and I don't think you heard me." Jane's eyes narrowed slightly, and her mind raced back, trying to recall what Maura was talking about. "Jane, I made the mistake of letting go a year ago because I thought I needed distance."
"Yeah, Maur, I get that, I shot your dad…" Jane trailed off, her brow crinkling with confusion. Why are we re-hashing this?
Maura's head began to nod, her honey blonde curls bouncing with the motion, and she inwardly cursed the uncontrollable connection between her amygdala and lachrymal gland as the tears seeped out the corner of her eyes, trickling down and splashing onto their joined hands.
"I don't understand Maura, why did you leave me if you cared that much about me?"
Maura's eyes met Jane's, and the brunette was taken aback at the pain evident in the hazel eyes. "You were going to have a family." The medical examiner's eyes flicked back to the box, and Jane's gaze followed. "I thought that by removing myself from the situation would give me the time and space I needed to move past my feelings and fully process what was going on so that I could eventually come back and try to be the best friend that you needed. But seeing you that day on the street…Jane, I knew I couldn't run anymore. So…" Maura's thumb skimmed over the puckered flesh on the top of Jane's hand, "I'm not letting go this time. I can be that friend again, Jane. I just hope you still want me here."
"Maura, I don't need you to be that friend. I need you to be my best friend. I'm not gonna pretend I don't." Reaching into the box, Jane pulled out a folded piece of paper. "I'm going to take Jo out, but I need you to read this. I'll lock the door behind me."
Maura swallowed, nodding her head briskly, and Jane got up, their hands breaking apart. She immediately missed the contact and heard Jane in the kitchen talking to Jo, and then the sound of the apartment door being shut echoed around the empty apartment. All was still, and she unfolded the paper and began to read.
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