A/N: What am I doing, I don't even know anymore. I am really sorry I have let this series rot. It's not even remotely related to kinky costume sex anymore, just pure kinky and pure pron. I just hope that in my one year of inactivity I can continue to keep up to your standards.
Serious things aside, today, I bring you phone sex! But I must confess, I have absolutely no idea how it works. I'm not even sure if this is called phone sex. But nevertheless, I hope it is still yaoi-fangirl-fantasy-material so I hope you enjoy it!
Roles of the Day: Um, Caller and Advisor?
(I don't even.)
Idiots Give the Worst Remedies
(Aaaand I give the worst titles.)
Gokudera sat cross-legged on his bed, glaring menacingly at his crotch.
A few moments prior Gokudera had noticed a bulge underneath his fabric boxers. He checked and he discovered that his penis was... erect. He quickly snapped his elastic band back into its place and slightly panicked. Gokudera was not the kind who panics easily, and there he was having a mini trepidation over the state of his manhood.
It was as if his penis was possessed and it was rather creepy.
...yeah right, as if you can get a fucking penis possessed. Gokudera went back to speculating about its existence.
Was it a kind of disease? Like boils or chicken pox... except at the nether regions? But he hadn't remembered coming across such weird symptoms while reading up on medical disorders. And of all times, his internet was down, so it was impossible to scour the net for information. This ignorance made him even madder.
So he decided that staring at it angrily will scare it into submission and make his penis return to its normal state. It seemed to be working, he was started to lose the heat that flushed his body when the... symptom revealed itself. The only setback was that it was taking far too much of a mental toll on him, even on the famed Right Hand Man of the Vongola who never loses his focus.
But patience was never a virtue of his. With raised eyebrows, he carefully lifted his waistband to check again. The monster stared right back at him with equal intensity as before and Gokudera thought he heard a growl, so he quickly let go of the elastic band.
'Okay Hayato. Don't panic. Think. I'm sure you've seen this somewhere before.' Gokudera closed his eyes as he reeled to remember all the instances he could recall. He had seen this strange occurrence before, he was as certain as Lussuria's sexual orientation.
A bulge in his pants. 'I'll be... heading to the washroom for a while.' The flustered voice came back to him. Whose voice is it? 'Ahahaha...'
How could he forget. That laughter. That idiotic laughter.
The said idiot's face was projected in his mind. And as though his stupidity itself was a disease, the mere thought made the Monster throb.
After a heated internal debate, Gokudera hesitantly punched in the numbers into his cellphone. He put his phone reluctantly to his ear, and heard the dial tone played. On the second tone Gokudera was on the verge of giving up when he heard a button being pressed.
"Hello? Gokudera?"
How does he know it's me? The silver-haired thought angrily, and the Monster throbbed to remind him of his existence.
Oh yeah, caller ID.
"L-Listen, I don't usually do this, and it's just this once so don't ever expect anything like this ever from me agai-"
A chuckle interrupted his rant. "What do you need help with?"
The Storm Guardian gulped and toyed with the idea of flipping his phone shut. But the thing is not going to go away, so he might as well face it like a man.
"I uh... Something's up..."
"What thing?" Concern was apparent over the phone. "Should I come over?"
"No!" Gokudera exclaimed. Having Yamamoto in the room was the last thing he needed right now. Well, one of them anyway, there was a lot of things he didn't need in the room right now. But he digress.
"...penis."
There was a brief second of inactivity at the other side of the phone. "Wha-?"
"Penis." Gokudera stated it, loud and clear.
He could practically see Yamamoto's startled expression at the other side of Namimori. "I-I'm not sure that is how you use the word in a sentence, Gokudera... if that was even a sentence..."
"Oh for fuck's sake..." Gokudera involuntarily rolled his eyes and half-shouted into the device, "My penis. Something's up with it." He paused. "My penis is up." This is the idiot we're talking about, he needs to make it more explicit.
The silence lasted a mere 3 seconds but to the distressed boy it was 3 whole decades. Maybe he should just hang up the phone and-
"Okay... and you don't know what it is?"
Unwillingly, Gokudera admitted. "Yes."
An awkward chuckle, followed by an even more awkward reply, "Um, this hasn't happened to you before? You-You really don't know what it is?"
"Are you an idiot or what? Why the fuck then am I calling you for?"
"Okay! Okay! Chill!" Yamamoto made a clumsy laughter. "Um, th-this is called an e-erection. When this happens, you- people, m-masturbate to make it go back to normal." The swordsman said softly. Gokudera thought he heard the sound of the locking of a door over the phone.
A puzzled expression formed. "Are you speaking Greek. What is masturbating?"
"Y-You uh, relieve all the pressure that was building up down there."
"Can you talk some sense damn it? Cut straight to the chase and tell me how do you relieve these goddamn pressure you're talking about!"
There was a slight shriek on the Japanese boy's part. "You want me to give you instructions on h-how to m-m-masturbate?"
Admittedly, it was quite fun hearing the usually jovial teen stammer. "Yes, now hurry the fuck up."
"Okay..." Gokudera heard Yamamoto swallow his saliva. "First, you touch it."
"My dick?"
"...yes, your d-dick."
"Do I need to do it directly, or I can just do it over my pants?"
"It would be better if you do it directly. A-and if you don't want to make a mess of your clothes. Ahhaha..."
Gokudera licked his lips as he moved his free hand to pull his waistband over the Monster. It looked fiercer than ever, with an angry scarlet flush to complete the look. He poked it with his finger tip, and felt a slight tingle through his body.
"Okay I poked it, what now?"
"Ahhaha... Maybe I need to give you clearer instructions... By touch I mean you're supposed to um, h-hold it in your hands."
The Italian was not so sure about gripping something so revolting in his hands, but he followed instructions anyway. The moment the heat of his palm enveloped the throbbing member, another spark of electricity shot through his legs. Gokudera winced a little, noticing the little bead of white liquid that emerged at the tip.
"Knh..." he silently hissed.
"I suppose you're feeling g-good right now huh?" Yamamoto muttered to himself, before saying in clearer diction, "Now you m-move your hands up and down, c-continuously."
Gokudera did as he was told and slid his hand in a regular motion along the length of the stiff penis. The feelings that hit him were a sensation he had never felt before. It was quite addictive.
"D-Do you feel anything?"
"Yeah, it feels... weird. Ticklish, but in a good way." He could feel the strength of his voice slowly weakening.
"Th-This is called m-masturbating, Gokudera. If you keep doing it and feeling good, you eventually get rid of the um, problem."
Sounds easy enough. Up, down, up, down, up, down. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
"It's starting to feel sore," Gokudera voiced, feeling the effect of the friction on his delicate skin. "But it's also going down. This is how it goes down right?"
"N-No!"
Gokudera raised an eyebrow, wondering how he was so flustered over that.
"I-uh... This is not how masturbating works..." Yamamoto said, embarrassed, in an attempt to justify his outcry. "Your erection is supposed to go away uh... with an explosion."
"An explosion?"
"Metaphorically!" Yamamoto gave another awkward laugh. "By that I mean you're supposed to feel super duper good when it is going back to normal." There was a sheepish smile.
It was starting to be a challenge to the swordsman. Being a habitual practitioner of such activities is one thing, teaching others verbally is another. Especially when the other party is the object of your fantasies.
"I've lost that feeling, Yamamoto." Gokudera informed. "I keep rubbing my dick but the feeling's just not coming back."
Having Gokudera call his regular name was the force that finally brought his own swollen member upright. As much as Yamamoto hated to, he'd have to end the phone call soon. He got off from the edge of the mattress and sat beside it instead, learning against its side.
"'K-Kay. What arouses you?"
"Dynamites."
"Haha... Not in that sense! Um, what... or who were you thinking of before your p-penis became erect?" Yamamoto silently crossed his fingers, even though he knew the odds were microscopically slim.
Gokudera hesitated. No fucking way was he ever going to tell the baseball idiot he was actually thinking of him. He would rather drown himself in a pool of sanitizers than admit that. So he stayed quiet.
"It's fine if you don't want to tell me, haha..." there was a little tint of disappointment in the Japanese teen. "B-But I want you to think about the person now, laying underneath you." Let's see if he could remember his previous fantasies about girls.
"She's n-naked, and you're kissing her." It kind of hurt to imagine Gokudera kissing another girl, or another person who wasn't him, for that matter. "You-You're kissing her passionatel-"
"It's a guy."
"Wha-?"
"The person whom I thought about was a guy." Gokudera repeated himself. "Now change your scenario because it's hard to imagine myself kissing girls."
Maybe there is still hope. Something lit up in Yamamoto. He corrected himself, "O-Okay. You're underneath that person, and he's kissing you passionately, a-and you press your tongue against his-" Unknowingly he had already had his own fingers wrapped around his own member.
"What? Must it involve kissing? Kissing girls are bad enough and you're making me kiss guys?"
"I'm sorry Gokudera, but this is how masturbating works..." Yamamoto had offered himself to Lust and it made him bolder.
And surprisingly enough it worked. "...Fine" came the response from the other side.
Yamamoto continued, "He runs his hands along your silky smooth thighs, and his tongue trails down along your jawline, your collarbone, and then your chest."
As the other party narrated Gokudera felt his penis start to harden again. When did he get so good at narrating anyway?
"He bends down and licks your n-nipple," over the phone he heard Yamamoto's voice shiver. "He fiddles with it and circles it and pinches it and nibbles on it."
Gokudera suddenly felt his own nipples grew sensitive. They were itching to be touched. The Italian grunted and slammed the loudspeaker button, dumping his cellphone onto the mattress as his hand reached under his shirt.
"A-Are you -ah...- doing o-okay, Goku-Gokudera?" the static voice sounded.
"Yeah." It came out as a whimper unintentionally. So he corrected himself with a more stable "yeah".
"I-It's not good to keep it down."
"Just hurry up damn it." It took Hurricane Bomb every ounce of his remaining strength to make the sentence sound normal.
"When he's done he -nn- spreads your leg and lowers his face to where your -ah...- flushing red erection is." Occasional gasps started to slip into Yamamoto's sentences.
As if being controlled by the description, Gokudera stripped his boxers off so he had the liberty to open his legs far apart. Something creamy and slimy lubricated his heated shaft. He could feel some of it spill over and cascade down the skin of the rosy sacs below.
"Hn-"
Hearing Gokudera's hitched exclamation of pleasure tensed Yamamoto's muscle even more. It was getting harder to maintain this balancing act.
"I open my mouth and rolled my tongue over... and over the tip of your d-dick. Th-Then it goes inside my mouth and I lick every single bit of your shaft." He didn't even realise he started putting himself in the picture.
And it seems that Gokudera didn't mind either. His eyes were shut tight, breathless pants escape him. His hands moved faster and faster.
"My other hand massages your-your hole. -Ha...- I st-stuck a finger inside, followed by another... Nn-!"
Gokudera couldn't care less about the saliva that greased his open mouth. He removed his hand from his chest and shifted downwards, locating the rim of muscle Yamamoto was talking about. He made contact.
Wha-What was he doing? He felt so... dirty, like an animal who was acting purely on instincts. He was touching his fucking asshole, damn it. B-But it feels... it feels so good. Just-Just this once...?
Only the tip of his fingertip made it past. His muscles were clenched so tight he could only resort to wriggling it. And even wrigglng itself was enough to send waves of gratification across his body.
"Nn..."
"I moved my fingers in and out and in and out and in and... -ah...- and I spread it apart."
Yamamoto himself was at his limits. Just voicing out his fantasies was enough to send him over he edge; listening to Gokudera's erotic voice -something he had never dreamed of hearing- and just thinking about Gokudera masturbating to that was making his nervous system go crazy. He didn't care if his hands were dirty now.
"Th-Then I take away my hands, and... positioned m-my d-dick there... -ha...- instead." He's really done it this time. His voice was being reduced to mere pants.
Another badly-concealed grunt elicited from Gokudera. He managed to stick half his finger in this time, with help from the wet fluid. The thought of seeing Yamamto's member, and being the only one who was allowed to see, made his erection pulsate with greater fervour than before.
"Ha... push in... all... the way in... and-and... move out..." His throat was getting dry, he's not sure if he could keep this up any longer. "...and th-thrust... again and again and again..." He was losing his strength in even holding his phone, as he continued applying friction to his penis.
Gokudera's hand movements grew more rapid and needy. He bit down on his teeth hard, spit smearing the sides of his lips. He was breathing heavily. His back arched, lifting his hip up. Something was growing inside him. Just a little bit more...
"Ngh...!"
"P-Pound into... Gokudera... call... -ngh...- name..."
"Ya-Yama...!" He hissed just as something burst inside him. He saw flashes of white, a sense of immense pleasure washed over his nerves. A gasp escaped his throat, his chest stuck up and head thrown back. White liquid squirted onto his stomach, thighs and bedsheets.
Hearing the sound of Gokudera as he came was more than tantalizing. Having done his job, he tossed the phone away, panting breathlessly, "Gokudera..." His free hand clutched at wooden floor.
Finally with a few more pumps of his hand he too, came, dirtying his pants and floor in the process. He rested his head on the mattress, exhausted. When he recovered just enough strength to reach for his phone, the call was already ended.
Yamamoto's phone vibrated vigorously, early in the morning. Groggily his hands shot out from under the bedsheets and felt around the table for his phone. Without looking at it he flipped it open and put it to his ear. "Hello...?" His voice was muffled.
"You fucking idiot-!" A line of more vulgarities followed, which was when Yamamoto wisely put his phone far from his eardrums.
And a very good morning to you too.
When he decided that the other party was done he replied normally again, "Gokudera? Need help again?" He rubbed his eyes as he sat up, secretly smirking at the last time he offered his help.
"Help? If that's one thing I gained from asking help from you is to learn to never ask you for help again!" The person yelled.
"That's kind of harsh, Gokudera. What happened?"
"What happened? After you gave me that... that remedy to this stupid erection disease it just kept coming back! For the past 2 days my fucking dick has been up and the more I tried to make it go away using your method the more it comes back! I think I touched it so much I'm ths close to getting fucking blisters! Your stupid cure made it worse! You'd better have a way to solve it or I'll-"
Little did Gokudera know his little rant went unheard, because Yamamoto was already on the way to his apartment.
A/N: Thank you for reading till the end! I hope you've uh, enjoyed it!
I hope it wasn't too painful to read, because I do understand that it is very wordy and I'm not a very succinct person myself. Please feel free to tell me, if it is, I'll format it in a way such that it is easier to read.
And finally, thank you very much! Now off you go, and jam Yamamoto's phone with fangirl calls.