Past Lives

Callen leaves Kristin Donnelly's house and drives around aimlessly. Before it would have bothered him a little bit, the not knowing if her son was his son also. But now… he has Taylor to worry about. And to take after.

He knows Taylor is at practice and has a game right after but he stops by the soccer field, where she was playing with the club team. Jim and Monica have whistles in their mouths and yelling drills out.

Taylor spots him coming up and tells Jim she needs to go speak with her dad. She's breathless as she runs over to him. "What's up?"

"Just came by to say I love you," Callen said.

Taylor arched a manicured eyebrow. He was a little surprised to see she wasn't wearing any makeup, a very odd rarity for someone like Taylor. "You're freaking me out, Dad."

"What's wrong with doing that?"

"You never do that," Taylor replies and looks back at the team, practicing dekes. She was the master at dekeing out players. "Are you coming to watch my game later?'

"No. Work thing. Team outing," Callen explains.

She throws him a look. Callen's daughter definitely mastered "the look." Words weren't even needed. "Really? You're missing my game for the bar?"

"Sorry. Hetty is demanding my presence," he felt kind of guilty when Taylor threw him a look like that.

She shrugs and rolls her eyes. "Have fun!" She leaves him with a kiss on the cheek and runs back to join her team.

"Good luck," Callen says about her impending game.

She turns around look enough to flash a smile and then she's not within hearing range. Callen walks back to his car. He sits in it for a second, watching Taylor deke around a girl with no effort at all. He mentally reminds himself to ask if she's checked into post-secondary education and a soccer scholarship.

When he gets back he's not sure if he should laugh when Hetty announces the team outing is a Karaoke bar. He goes along because he wants to show up Sam's pathetic impersonation of Mick Jagger.

Skylar is driving Taylor back from the game. She looks utterly exhausted. "Have you seen your Dad lately?" Callen hadn't been around the house in about a week and Skylar was a little worried. Callen usually showed up every second day or so to spend time with his daughter.

"He came by the field today while I was practicing. Told me loved me and then left. I guess he was going to the bar with his team tonight. He was ordered," Taylor sighs and keeps looking out the window.

Skylar doesn't reply, instead keeping her eyes focused on the road ahead. She's thinking about the "what if's." What if Riaane hadn't of taken the job with the CIA? What if Callen hadn't gone on all those op's when Taylor was still a baby? What if Skylar hadn't stepped in, at the age of 20, to raise her niece? And what if Riaane was still involved on her life?

Skylar knew the answer to the last question. Riaane Vandenhoven and Callen never got along from the start. They had met at some beach party and they were more or less fuck buddies for a month until Riaane got pregnant. They both had a lot of growing up to do before Riaane got pregnant and then they were forced to grow up way too fast with a baby on the way. Riaane couldn't handle being a mother then, and she couldn't handle it now, 17 years later.

Taylor is rolling around in her bed, unable to sleep. She's also thinking about the "what if's." What if her mother was like all the other soccer moms? Sometimes she'd kill to have a "normal" mom. Instead her replacement is her 33 year old aunt, who works full time as a dental hygienist and in no way a soccer mom. Skylar Vandenhoven should have been a model; instead she put herself through school and raised her niece at the same time. Her father is a federal agent and around half of the time and it seemed he wasn't around when she needed him the most.

She silently gets out of bed and climbs into bed with Skylar. "What's wrong, honey?" Skylar never calls Taylor "honey" or "sweetie" unless something's wrong. And something had to be wrong with Taylor for her to crawl into bed with Skylar.

"Just thinking. About what if mom was still in my life," Taylor says quietly.

Skylar stroke's her niece's hair. "I was just thinking the same thing."

"Why do you and mom not talk anymore?" Taylor asks. She's never asked the question, just assumed, that it had to do something with the nasty custody battle.

Skylar sighs. "Your mom… was reckless. After she dropped you off with Grandpa, she went undercover for eight months in Ireland. When she came back, your dad and her got into a huge fight. He had been raising you for those eight months and you were… a brat. Grandma tried the best she could, but she was getting sicker and sicker. I knew your dad had job offers from the CIA, FBI, that kind of shit. Riaane thought she could come into your life and everything would be the exact same thing."

"But it wasn't?"

She shook her head. "No. You barely recognized her and when you finally figured it out that the woman standing in front of you was your mother, you refused to be held. At four years old. I gave you milk that afternoon and it was whole milk and Riaane flipped out at Callen for not giving you 2% milk. It got heated fast and there were things chucked and thrown and getting out of hand. The neighbors called the cops and the cops came back because of a domestic dispute. They wanted to put you in their custody because they weren't sure if either of your parents were fit to raise you. I stepped in and said I'll take you. That's when the custody battle started and…."

"Messy?"

"Your grandmother was not doing well at all. The cancer spread and it was looking pretty grim. Your mom and dad used you to get back at each other. Normally custody is awarded to the mother but your dad and I proved that she basically left you. The judge awarded me full custody and gave visitation to your dad. Your mom was using drugs at the time, as well. Court found out and she didn't get any visitation. They proved she was unfit to raise you."

"And she's hated you for that ever since?" Taylor asks. She's never heard the story or was aware that Riaane had used drugs in the past.

Skylar nods. "Yes. She was absolutely furious at me for taking your dad's side. I was the one who had found the cocaine in her purse."

Taylor sighs and closes her eyes and thinks. She's not really sure if she wanted to hear that story in the end. Her mom and her dad had basically abandoned her. Soon she's drifting off to sleep and dreaming that her mom and dad were back together and they were a happy family. Even though she's dreaming, she knows the chances of that happening were zero. Riaane and Callen talking civilly to one another was as likely as pink polka dotted giraffes flying on rainbows.

Kensi and Sam are both beyond wasted and making a fool of themselves. Callen's been drinking alot but not as trashed as the other two. Hetty comes up to stand beside him. "Thinking about Taylor?"

"How'd you know?"

Hetty shrugs. "You get that look in your eye when you talk about her."

Callen looks at the Operation Manager. "You are too scary, Hetty."

"I'm just doing my job, Mr. Callen."

He looks at the ninja woman. "Well I was just thinking I should spend more time with her."

Hetty gives him the 'look.' "I think that would be a wise idea, Mr. Callen. She's only a teenager once and you've been absent for her life most of the time. Take most of the opportunities ahead of you."