I do not suppose there will be much of interest to other people, but it is not intended for them.

Dracula, Bram Stoker

Chapter 1 – And So it Begins

September

"Ms. Swan, are you sure that this is the path you want to take for your dissertation?"

His tone was acerbic; he was questioning my decision.

"Yes, sir. I am confident that this the right path, and I think I have an original approach."

"Dracula is not a traditional work to base one's dissertation on. Not only are you taking an obscure work, you are challenging a century old assessment of its content."

I took a deep breath. I had anticipated this reaction.

"I appreciate that sir. That is why I chose it. The story presents so many opportunities, and it's not a work that is often mined. My hope is to create something truly unique."

He peered at me over the top of his glasses.

"You know that it's a risk, don't you?"

"Yes, sir. I am well aware of the challenges."

He shuffled papers around on his desk. "Very well, Ms. Swan. Please proceed, and keep me apprised of you progress."

With that, I was dismissed. Out of sight, out of mind.

Here's hoping my original idea made me stand out in the crowd.

October

"Come on, Bella. Stop being such a bookworm. Let's go out, have some fun, blow off some steam!"

My roommate Rose was in the middle of her weekly 'lure Bella out' act. Every Friday night, she would pull out all the stops in an effort to try and drag me away from the books, away from the research.

"All work and no play…"

"Rose, stop. You sound like Mike."

A book flew at my head. I ducked before it could do any real damage.

"I told you it's an insult to be compared to him. Honestly Bella, I don't get what you see in him. I may sound like a broken record, but he's bor-ring. He talks about himself, law, or sports. Dull!."

Rose loathed my boyfriend, Mike. He was a good guy, he just wasn't as dynamic or outgoing as she would have liked. She compared him to Vanilla often.

But reality was, I am Vanilla, so the pairing made sense. Not even Vanilla bean or French Vanilla. Plain old Vanilla for plain old Bella. Nothing too crazy. I had a predictable life. A dependable boyfriend. An insignificant course in life plotted out. Nothing left to chance.

And not a lot to get excited about either.

If there were no chances, that meant there were no risks. I never took risks. I never had. It wasn't that I was adverse to them. I simply didn't know how. Rose tried to draw me out, encourage me to 'go with the moment.'

Rose was passionate. She lived by the seat of her pants. I envied her, but I wasn't sure if I could be like her.

"Mike is in the middle of a big case. He's working late tonight. I was going to stay in and make a dent in my research."

"He works late every night. You don't have a boyfriend, you have a cardboard cutout with a full closet of designer suits. Now come on. I hear stale beer and loud music calling to us."

"Some other night, Rose. I really need to focus."

"You always say that." She picked up a book and studied the spine. "Don't you think you would be more productive if you went to the places you were supposed to know?

How are you going to write a dissertation on Dracula the sex god unless you frequent his haunts?"

"It's not about Dracula the sex god; it's about sexuality and choices." I corrected her. She knew the working title. She was simply goading me.

But going to London wasn't a new argument. I debated taking the trip multiple times. When I had mentioned something to Mike, he shook me off.

"Bella, you don't need to go there. You can finish your dissertation here in Chicago. You'll land a job, and we'll get married. In the long run, what does it really matter what your dissertation is about so long as you get it done?"

Plain old boring Vanilla Bella meekly agreed and dropped the subject. I never did argue back. But inside, I was screaming. How dare he marginalize my education, my dissertation? This wasn't some simple little paper. This was the culmination of years of hard work. This was my future. It was part of me.

By putting down my work, didn't he effectively put down me, question me?

Of course it did.

Did I say anything about it?

Of course not.

"Come on, Bella. Put down your fictional Count and come out with me," Rose coaxed.

Neither of them got it. Mike didn't want to. Rose tried, but couldn't understand. It was more than just a book. It just…it was just me. I couldn't explain it other than that.

I shook my head and pointed back to the pile of papers and books. "I can't Rose. Maybe another night."

Rose shook her had and moved towards the door. "Someday, you'll give up on the paperback prince and find one in real life."

I sat there staring at the pile of papers as the door clicked shut behind her. I'll stick with my fictional characters. Their lives were much more interesting than mine. And a paperback prince can't put you down or make you feel less important for chasing a dream.

November

"God dammit, Bella! Why are the piles of crap everywhere? Everyone will be over to watch the game in a half and hour, and you have all your shit all over the place!"

Mike stood there, looking like a crazed fan in his blue and gold jersey.

Oh, excuse me. Blue and Maize.

He had invited all his law school friends over to watch 'the game' as he called it. I could give a flying fig who was playing. I had just hit a groove on a major point, and didn't want to lose my rhythm. Blue and Maize vs. Scarlet and Grey. Who cares? If you listened to Mike, the world shut down for this game.

He took me to a sporting event once. I'll never forget it. A player had struck out, and broken his baseball bat in the process. Mike had laughed and looked at me. "That is the closest you'll ever get to a flying bat, Bella. Enjoy it."

He obviously wasn't talking about the splintered wood.

"Get all this shit put away; I don't want everyone tripping over it!" He began shifting piles of paper around in an effort to clear the kitchen table.

"Stop it! You are messing everything up!" He had collapsed my piles together, shoving everything into unorganized messes. Post it notes popped off papers. A paper clip clattered to the floor. I scrambled to grab the papers back, to stop him from wrecking more havoc.

"Stop being such a drama queen, Bella. You are getting no where on this dissertation. Why don't you just call it a day and move on? The sooner you do that, the sooner we can get on with our lives."

The argument was getting old. I was not giving up on my dissertation. I was too invested, and had too much to do. Right now, the only thing I wanted to 'get on' with these days was a car moving rapidly away from Mike.

The doorbell rang, ending the conversation.

"Just put this shit away, Bella. We'll need the kitchen table for the pizzas." He left the kitchen to greet his friends.

I quickly piled everything up and shoved it in my back pack. Enough is enough. I didn't want to be here. Mike provided no support, no encouragement. It was always about him, his friends, and his needs. I was fed up with it.

I grabbed my duffle out of the bedroom, shoved all my things in, and tossed it over my shoulder. My back pack went over the opposite shoulder.

I crossed the living room as Mike's law school buddies were chanting 'Hail to the Victor" in anticipation of the football game.

Mike didn't even realize I was in the room until I was at the door.

"Hey, are you headed for the library?" He called over his shoulder. He wasn't looking in my direction. "If you see the pizza guy, can you give him a tip? I'm not sure where my wallet is."

"No, Mike. I am leaving."

"Okay, I'll call you later."

He was so distracted by his friends and the impending football game that he couldn't pull himself away long enough to see I was carrying my backpack and my bag.

"Fuck you, Mike," I muttered under my breath, and let myself out of the apartment.

December

"Bella, it's been a month. He isn't going to stop calling. Will you please just talk to him?"

Words I never thought I would hear out of Rose Hale's mouth.

Once Mike realized that I had truly walked out on our relationship, he began a full on assault to win me back. I wasn't sure if it was truly about me, or part of the façade he cultivated. The right schools, the right job, the right type of girl.

It was never about me. Always about him.

I was tired of being window dressing in someone else's life. So I totally cut him off. I wouldn't accept his phone calls. I wouldn't open the door. I even threw away the flowers he sent.

Some people would call me callous. I considered it self preservation. I didn't trust myself to be strong enough to say no if I had to face him directly.

"Fine, if you aren't going to call him, then you need to do something. Change things up. You can't stay holed up in here. If you aren't home, you are at school. It's not healthy, Bella."

She was right. Rose was always right. I was hiding from the world. It wasn't accomplishing anything.

"Did you think anymore about what I said? We'll need to make a decision soon."

Rose's company was sending her to England for six months as part of a collaborative project with the British government. She had been trying to convince me to come with her. She knew I couldn't afford to keep our apartment by myself, and used that as her first prong of attack. She would then switch tactics, moving from fear of failure to bribery by talking about all the research I could do. More than half of Dracula took place in England. The research possibilities were endless. First hand knowledge of all the places that he wrote about, all the digging I could do.

She was right. I didn't know why I was so paralyzed. It should have been an easy decision.

But I was scared. England wasn't vanilla. It required me to take a risk. I'd have to take a semester off from TA'ing. It would mean that my savings would take a hit. I had already gone through my exams and received approval for my dissertation, but there was no guarantee that I would be any more productive than if I were in the States.

I'd also have to leave behind everything that I had here. It would mean really giving up on Mike. Leaving him behind when we lived blocks apart was one thing. Leaving him behind and moving four thousand miles away was something entirely different.

"Bella," Rose chided. She knew where my head was. "He's not worth it. He'll still be here in six months. No one will snap that winner up. Go take a chance for once. Get your dissertation done, have a little fun, maybe kiss a few British guys. If after all that, you find out that he's really the one, he'll be here when you come back. If not, you'll always wonder what if."

She was right. She always was.

I stood at a cross roads. Stay here in Chicago, in my Vanilla life, or take a gamble.

"Come on, Bella. I have a two bedroom flat. The company is paying for it. You'll only need to worry about your personal expenses. It's a once in a life time opportunity."

I had to make a decision soon. Assignments were being given out in a few weeks for winter term. If I wasn't going to TA, I needed to let school know so that someone else could be assigned.

Whitby. London. Maybe even Dublin. All the places I could go to uncover an original spin, an original perspective for my dissertation. Maybe truly differentiate myself.

Rose was right. It was a once in a life time opportunity.

All I had to do was make the decision.

My eyes scanned the room. There really wasn't anything to tie me here. My parents were empty nesters, happily living their own lives. Rose was right about Mike. If it was really worth something, he would still be around in six months.

Six months in London. The ability to do research in all the places that I had only read about. To dig through the archives to read actual notes from Bram Stoker. It was a once in a life time opportunity.

I would be a fool not to take it.

"Okay, Rose. Let's do it."

She had been expecting me to put up more of an argument.

"For real?"

I smiled. "For real."

She threw her arms around my neck. "Oh Bella, you won't regret it. This could be the start of a new chapter in both our lives. Heck, if nothing more, you can find a hot British guy and get laid."

"Please, Rose; no literary references, okay? I've had enough of that to last me a life time. And please keep my sex life out of it."

She laughed. "Sorry about that. Come on, let's go get a drink to celebrate. All that paper will keep; it's time to go live."

I cast one last look at the papers piled all over the room. She was right. It would keep. My life wouldn't.