King Laugh he come like the sunshine, and he ease off the strain again; and we bear to go on with our labour, what it may be.

Dracula, Bram Stoker

Chapter 7 - If Only

Emmett called first thing Sunday morning from some obscure building in London he'd been dying to see. He was chomping at the bit to hit the tourist circuit, and begged me to accompany him in his 'ugly American' behavior. His enthusiasm was too infectious to deny, and I promised to meet him in front of The Tower of London at ten. We would grab something to eat and then take a tour. He wanted to see the crown jewels and the armor. I wanted to see the Ravens and the Tower Green.

Rose wasn't up when I left the flat. I didn't see any evidence that would lead me to believe anyone else had stayed overnight. Maybe her reaction had been a legitimate knee jerk reaction to seeing her nemesis from work after all.

I arrived at the fortress a bit before ten. A line was already forming, so I went ahead and purchased tickets to avoid the wait. I just cleared the queue when Emmett came bounding up the walkway. He carried a tray with two insulated cups and a paper bag.

"Breakfastime!" He crowed.

"I thought we were going to grab something around here?"

"I found this great French bakery by my office." He grinned. "They have awesome croissants, so I picked some up. I just got the cappuccinos, so they should still be hot."

"Croissants and cappuccinos? Doesn't sound very West Virginian to me."

Emmett gave me a grin and answered in an over annunciated southern drawl. "Don't tell my Momma. She thinks I am still a biscuits and gravy type of boy."

We sat down on a bench and dug into the improvised picnic. Emmett was right, the croissants were amazing.

"So how are things going at work? You mentioned that there is a woman giving you a hard time?"

Emmett sat his coffee cup on the bench behind us, and reached inside his coat pocket to fish out a pair of sunglasses.

"I was probably being harsh last night. This woman just gets to me, ya know? She's smart as hell, but has a massive chip on her shoulder. If you question her or try to help, she flips out."

"Have you tried talking to her?"

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. I asked her to lunch in an attempt to bury the hatchet. She totally blew me off. She thinks I am putting the moves on her."

"She'll come around, Emmett. Especially if all you are doing is trying to help."

"Yeah, I guess you are right." He hesitated for a moment. "Bella, she is so absolute amazing, but she can be such a bitch sometimes. I don't know how to reach her."

We sat in silence, watching the crowds filter into the tower. At some point when I was off in space or watching the crowd, Emmett draped his arm across the bench behind me. His arm wasn't officially 'around me,' but it was pretty darn close.

"So what was the deal with the limey you were with last night? The red headed one?" Emmett over annunciated on limey. Here a week and already picking up the local slang.

My original reaction to Emmett on the plane had been entirely physical. He was absolutely adorable, and had a body to die for. But the more time I spent with him, I wanted him to be my friend. I didn't have any business getting involved with anyone, and I liked him too much to risk our time together.

"I don't know, Em." I fidgeted with my coffee cup, trying to come up with a logical summation. "He's Jasper's brother in law. I met him on Tuesday. I can't explain what it is…he just makes me react. I know that doesn't make sense…"

"Oh it makes absolutely sense. Like you can't decide whether you want to throw him out of the wagon or into the hay?"

I laughed. "That is one way to put it. An English aquaitance called it out as 'sock him or shag him,' but it all works. Anyway, I'm not used to anyone making me feel that way. He sees it too; he called me out on it first thing. God, I just got out of a crappy four year relationship, I don't need to jump into something else."

"Do you still have a thing for the other guy? The one you left behind?" It was an innocent question, but I struggled to answer it.

"How do you abandon feelings for someone you spent four years with? I'm young enough that four years is a huge portion of my life. I can't help but think about that."

"But do you still love him?" Emmett's expression was earnest. He was only trying to help me sort through my thoughts, not pry.

"No. Looking back on it now, I don't know if I ever really did. Is that a bad thing to say?"

"Absolutely not. I give you a lot of credit for that. It would be easy to try and delude yourself into trying to make it be something more than it was. Do you mind me asking why it didn't work out?"

I thought for a long time. "I've come to realize that life with Mike was safe. But with him, I lost me, if that makes sense. I might not be the most exciting person, but I am who I am. Not some cardboard prop up for partner's dinners and family events. That's what I felt like."

Emmett took a long drink of his cappuccino before setting it down on the ground. I had expected him to sit back against the bench, but instead, he leaned in to kiss me.

It caught me totally of guard. At first I didn't know what to do, so I didn't do anything. But then I decided to go with it, to see if I responded to him the same way I did Edward.

Part of me hoped that Emmett could get the same rise out of me that Edward did.

I won't lie, he was a great kisser. Not the type to be overly aggressive. He went for the slow build. A few slow pecks before becoming a little more aggressive. It was nice.

But it was nice.

He sat back. "Did it work?"

"I'm sorry?" I was confused. Did what work?

"Did it get him out of your head?" He was legitimately curious.

"No." I had to be honest with him. It was only fair. "Did it get her out of yours?"

He gave me a halfhearted smile.

"Aren't we a pair? When I found you were going to be spending time in London, I thought there might be a chance for us. And here we are both jonesing after someone who gets under our skin, pushes us to our limits, and will most likely drive us crazy."

I appreciated his candor in that moment. He had the same quandary that I did and was no happier about it.

"It probably would have been the easier way, wouldn't it?" I asked, acknowledging his admission.

"Yeah, it would have been. But we would have missed the highs, wouldn't we?"

"You aren't kidding. Although somehow, I don't think you'd ever be accused of being Vanilla." I stood up and held out my hand. "Come on, lets go make puerile jokes like 'who's sword is bigger.'"

"I like the 'nice lance. That's what she said' approach so much better. More room to play." That earned him a punch in the arm.

We spent the rest of the morning wandering through the tower. As expected, Emmett's sword jokes were better than mine.

Around one, we found ourselves outside by the tower green. The sun was still shining, and it was nice to enjoy a bit of warmth.

"So you never told me, why would you write a dissertation on Dracula and sexuality of all things?"

"Do you know, no one has ever asked me that? Why Dracula, sure, but never the actual subject matter." I picked up a leaf and twirled it between my fingers. "I read it when I was a sophomore in high school and fell in love with it. It fell in line with a bunch of other gothic novels I had read, like Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights. But something about it stuck with me. I think I had a bit of a fan girl crush on Dracula, even though he was the bad guy."

I tossed the leaf up in the air watched the wind carry them away.

"So many of the gothic novels focused on the impact of personal choices, but none like Dracula. Factor in the whole sexual imagery – biting, blood, transfusions; then contrast the whole Victorian uptight nature. Well, you are a guy, you can figure it out…it just seemed like a great source to mine."

"So it all goes back to the whole angel/whore conundrum?" Leave it to Emmett to boil it down to plain language. Simple and to the point.

"Something like that. I guess it was my way of being provocative." We both laughed. It did sound funny given the subject matter. "I am so tired of the stereotypes; I guess I just wanted to do something different."

"There is an irony in this, Bella Swan. The things that draw you to the book, or for the period for that matter, are the bad boys. A guy with an edge. That's hardly Vanilla"

"You know what, Emmett, you may have hit on something. I have Byronic Hero lust."

"That sounds like a social disorder."

"It very well could be."

We finished our tour with a bang. Emmett got a bit too vocal while providing pithy observations on the crown jewels, and we were 'invited to leave.'

"What can I say, I'm a large child!" He laughed as we left the underground station in Waterloo. "Stuff that big and gaudy just cries for social commentary."

"Somehow I doubt 'those can't be real' counts as social commentary, Em."

"Like I haven't used it before. The difference being, I can usually feel the difference." His hands were out palms extended, a mischievous grin on his face. I couldn't help but giggle.

Our conversations shifted with our acknowledgment that there would be no romantic developments. Our heads, hearts or hormones were clearly elsewhere. I wasn't lying. It would have been easier. But then it wouldn't have been any different from Mike. In a way, it made me sad. Someone would be lucky to land Emmett. He was amazing.

We came to a stop in front of my building.

"This is my place. Would you like to come up? Maybe order some takeout before you head home?"

Emmett consulted his watch. "Sure. I have some work to do, but I can hang out for a bit more."

We climbed the stairs to the flat. The bolt was shot, which meant that Rose wasn't home.

"Make your self comfortable. I'm not sure where my roommate is. You good with pizza?"

"Yes, please. I swear if someone tries to get me to eat curry again, I'll super glue my lips shut. I don't know how people eat that stuff."

I placed the order and dropped down on the couch.

"So what are you going to do about the woman at work?"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know. Everything I do seems to set her off. I wish I could get her outside of work, convince her to listen to me. I know she'll think it's just about her looks. I mean she's an absolute knock out. But it's more than that. She's so damn smart and funny. She's truly one of a kind."

"Why not tell her exactly that? It would work for me."

Emmett considered me for a moment. "Do you really think it would be that simple?"

"Why not? Nothing else is working, right?"

A knock on the door interrupted our conversation. I paid the pizza delivery man and dropped the box on the table. As I walked out into the kitchen, I heard Emmett call out.

"So what are you going to do? About the red haired Limey that is."

I hadn't thought much about it since our conversation this morning. What did I want to do about the situation with Edward? He scared the crap out of me, that much I knew. He knew how to agitate me. He also brought out feelings that were totally foreign. Whether it was hit/shag or out of the wagon/into the hay, the sentiment couldn't have been truer, and it was confusing as hell.

My hand instinctively went to the spot just below my jaw where he had kissed me last night.

He had kissed me. Forget kissing me, he had licked me.

I had pushed it out of mind last night. Now I wanted to lose myself in it. Bask in it. Recall every feeling, every sensation.

He said that he wanted to talk. That he wanted to spend time with me.

I needed to understand this alien pull that he had over me. Was it my need to chase the bad boy? My own idealized Byronic Hero as Emmett had joked earlier? I had compared him to Dracula after all.

It couldn't be that simple. There had to be something more to it. He fascinated me, and it wasn't at just a physical level. I wanted to get inside his brain, crawl around and figure out what made him tick. I wanted to watch him sleep so that I could study his expressions without him knowing.

What the hell is wrong with me? Mooning over a guy I hardly knew?

This is not what I came to London for. I needed to get it together, focus. Get back on track.

I pulled a few paper towels off the roll, and walked back into the kitchen just as the door slammed.

"What in the hell are you doing in my flat?" Rose screeched.

Emmett launched off the couch. "Rose? What the hell are you doing here?"

Rose pivoted to see me standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Bella, what is...this…this…Redneck doing here?"

The pieces all clicked together. Rose's nemesis. Emmett's perfect woman.

Well, duh, Bella. All the pieces were right there, you just couldn't put them together.

I took a deep breath and dropped the napkins on the kitchen counter. Here you go, Emmett. You are both so going to owe me.

"I'm going for a walk. Rose, you need to sit down and shut up while my friend from business class says a few things to you."

Emmett looked like a deer in the headlights. I gave him a wave as I headed for the door.

"Seize the moment Em. I know you can do it. I'll be back in a bit."

I let myself out of the apartment and flew down the steps.

Lord knows what I would be coming back to.