Lucy is a pure and virtuous girl. But, I admit that her free way of speaking shocks me sometimes. Jonathan says it is a defect of the aristocracy that they say what they please. The truth is that I admire Lucy, and I'm not surprised that men flock around her. I wish I were as pretty and as adored as she.

Bram Stoker's Dracula by Francis Ford Coppola, 1992

Chapter 9 Free Speaking

It felt like Rose avoided me all day Monday. I had plenty of things to keep me busy as I eased into a schedule at the Library. I was well into my second week in London, and it felt like I had already worn a path between our flat and the campus.

Tuesday night we had planned a girl's night. She was bringing home take out, and I had picked up a movie. We were going to hang out and be silly, just like old times.

I spent a good part of the day trying to reconcile my research with the crazy thoughts running around in my head. At the core of Victorian beliefs were the notions that a woman was either pure or a wife and mother. If a woman was neither, she was a whore, and of no consequence in society. That was the contrast that Stoker had set up for the two primary female characters in Dracula.

It was very hard to get thoughts of a man out of your head when all you read all week long were direct or indirect references to sex sex sex. The angel/whore dichotomy as Emmett had called it. Well, Edward had accused me of not having the experience to understand the story. I definitely got the angel part. Maybe that lack of experience was worth something after all.

Tuesday night, I was already in my flannel pj pants and a t shirt when Rose got home.

"I have pizza!" Rose crowed from the open door.

"I have good hooch!" I echoed. We giggled. The old guy who lived down the hall from us in Chicago called any type of alcohol hooch, and it stuck.

Ten minutes later, Rose was dressed in her own flannels and t shirt, and we were feasting on passable pizza. A few more glasses of red wine, and I wouldn't notice that it didn't compare to a good pizza found only in Chicago.

"How did things go this week? Did you get any traction?" Rose inquired. As much as she teased me about my subject matter, she was always incredibly supportive.

"Okay. I found some great material, but I've got some things on my mind, and the subject matter isn't helping."

"Hmmm," Rose encouraged as she took a bite of pizza. As soon as her mouth was empty, she picked up on her thought. "Would the something on your mind be of the male variety?"

I colored at her comment. I couldn't help it.

"Yes. I…I don't know Rose. I'm so confused." I took a drink of wine, trying to figure out where to begin.

"Well tell me, who is it? The hot doc with the Aston Martin?"

"How did you guess?"

"You've never let a guy get close enough to rattle you before, Bella. It's like underage drinking. Once you do it and don't get caught, you are going to want to do it again, just because you can."

"It's not like that, Rose." I paused, trying to think of a way to articulate it so things made sense. "He pushes my buttons, messes with my head. He's nice one minute, a total arrogant ass the next, and he reduces me to a blithering idiot."

"You just need to get laid and get it out of your system. When is the last time you got some?"

"Umm, I've been single since November, remember? What about you?" I shot back.

Rose's face was the one to turn red this time. Rose didn't blush. Ever.

"Rose…what are you not telling me?"

"Nothing." She tried to wave me off as she fled to the kitchen to retrieve paper towels.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, don't tell me nothing. You had sex this week, didn't you?"

I knew that she had gone out with Royce a few times. He had come by the apartment to pick her up. Apparently his father was some lower level nobility, and he thought he was all that and a bag of chips. Rose saw him as a challenge, and enjoyed having her ego stoked.

"If you tell me that you slept with Royce, I might have to be sick."

She fidgeted with the paper towel. Not meeting my eyes.

"Your silence is not convincing. The only guys I have seen you with are Royce and…."

I trailed off. Oh please tell me she didn't.

"Rose, did you have sex with Emmett?"

She didn't look up. After a moment, she bobbed her head.

"But when? You were already asleep when I came back on Sunday, and I wasn't gone long enough..."

She shook her head, "I wasn't asleep. We were in the kitchen when you came home, you just didn't see us. He left after you went to your room."

I sat back. Stunned didn't even begin to describe my feelings.

"But I thought you hated him! You were always calling him the Redneck and complaining about what a jerk you thought he was."

Rose dropped her face in her hands.

"I screwed up, Bella. I screwed up big time. I was yelling at him when you left. It didn't dawn on me that he was your hottie from business class until I saw you together. I went off on him about messing with my friend to hurt with me, and he got mad and said he wished that I would get out of his head so he could mess around with you."

She drew in a long breath. "I got so mad I took a swing at him. He caught my wrist, so I swung with the other one, which he caught too. One thing led to another and well…"

Shocked, I didn't speak, waiting for her to continue.

"It's all so damn infuriating, Bells. The minute he kissed me it was game on, and I had no doubt where it was going. Hell, I couldn't get us there fast enough." She paused and laughed sarcastically. "I guess it's a good thing I had a few condoms stashed in the takeout drawer in the kitchen."

I didn't ask. This was one of those situations where I definitely didn't want to know.

"Want to know the worst part of it all? Oh my god was it good. He was good. If he didn't drive me so absolutely bat shit with his superior attitude and manufactured down home sweetness, I would be begging for more. Why? Why the hell do I respond to him like this? I want Royce to do this to me, not…him."

She couldn't even speak Emmett's name.

Poor Emmett. He managed to push the one button on Rose guaranteed to freak her out. She didn't like to feel out of control. Compound that by what sounded like one hell of a roll in the hay, and Emmett didn't stand a chance at convincing her it was about anything more than sex. Somehow, while I don't think he would turn it away, I doubted that sex was the only thing that Emmett wanted from Rose.

I didn't know who I felt worse for. My loyalties were strangely torn. I wanted to protect both of them. And I wanted to smack Rose up side the head and make her realize how great Emmett is. But I knew that wouldn't accomplish much of anything.

"So what are you going to do, Rose? Emmett is a good guy. He doesn't deserve the way you treat him."

"How do I know he's a good guy?" She sighed, "I just don't trust him. What if he's not different from any other man who has played a good game just to get me in bed?"

"What if he is? Do you want to miss out on that?"

She didn't answer me. "Did he really try something with you?"

Knowing that how I answered could have major impact on how Rose viewed Emmett, I structured my answer carefully.

"He kissed me on Sunday, and it was nice, but it wasn't fireworks. In a way, I think we both wish it had been. Instead, it proved what we both already knew our hearts were already somewhere else."

"Hearts? Try hormones."

I paused for a moment, as the realization hit me.

"Oh my god is there an irony in that he was hoping I could get YOU out of his head."

Rose looked shocked at my statement. I snorted, and broke down in giggles. She did too. Like I could ever hold a candle to her.

"So what is the deal with the good doctor? You are seriously messed up over him, huh?"

My hand instinctively went to my neck. "Rose, I can't even begin to explain it. One minute I want to smack him, and the next minute…" My face turned red again. I couldn't say it.

"And the next minute?" She prodded. "Bella! I'm proud of you!"

"Rose! You aren't helping!"

"Yes I am! You go girl! Go live! Or more appropriately, go do!"

I shook my head and rubbed my forehead. This wasn't helping. While the advice of 'go do' was infinitely appealing, it hadn't made things any clearer for Rose. Would it be any different for me?

"Come on, Bella, loosen up."

"Can we just cease the course of conversation?" I stood and closed the lid of the pizza box.

"So are you and Emmett…" I didn't know what to call it.

"Bella, I am having fun. To phrase it in a way that you will get, I have my Texan and my Lord. Maybe I need to borrow your doctor."

"You keep your hands off my doctor," I shot back. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted it.

"Mmmhmm. I see how it goes. You can deny it all you want Bella, but you've got it bad for him."

"You just go be happy with your Texan. I vote you kick Royce to the curb."

She smiled and twisted a strand of hair around her finger. "I don't know, I like him. He's fun. It's a nice change."

"Yeah, well, you better be careful. Don't forget what happened to Lucy after she got her lord."

Rose looked at me in confusion.

I shook my head in disbelief. How many times had we watched the movie together? No it, wasn't a direct representation of the book, but she should remember this part.

"He cut off her head and drove a stake through her heart. Don't let him do that to you."

Rose shook her had and smiled. "Oh I have Royce totally under control. He'd never do a thing to hurt me."

"Neither would Emmett. Dare I say it, he may be more Quincey than I realized. I bet he'd do anything for you."

"You need to stop living in the book, Bella. Not all men are one of the characters out of Dracula."

She paused for a moment to consider her statement.

"But let's just say, for the sake of discussion, they are. What does that make you precious doctor?"

I knew the answer, but I didn't want to tell Rose.

"Well?" She knew me too well. "Did you find your dark prince, Bella? He sounds way too interesting to be Jonathan Harker. Oh wait, you already had one of those. His name was Mike."

"Good night, Rose." I stood and walked toward my bedroom.

"I'll take your lack of an answer as a confirmation. Given in, Bella. Go with it, enjoy it!" She called after me. "Let him take a big old bite."

I slammed my door and crawled into bed. I didn't want to think about him. I didn't want to think about anything.

A book didn't provide any respite. I was about to give up and turn off the light when my cell phone rang.

I picked it up. It wasn't a number I recognized, but it clearly wasn't from the states. Safe bet it wasn't Mike.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Isabella."

He didn't need to identify himself. Even if he hadn't called me by my full name, I'd have known that voice.

"Hello, Edward."

There was a pregnant pause. I waited for him to continue the conversation. He was the one who had called me.

"Were you busy?"

"No, I was just reading."

"What are you reading?"

I picked the book up and studied the cover. "Rebecca."

"Ah. Daphne Du Maurier. Rather a morbid tale."

I laughed. "I have to admit, even though I am a lit major, I didn't read the book until after I saw the movie. I think I like the movie version better."

Edward chuckled. "Olivier did play DeWinter well. Tell me, what appealed to you, the casting, or the modification to the story?"

He seemed so relaxed on the phone. Not at all combative. It almost felt like a normal conversation.

"Honestly, I'm a romantic at heart. The movie gave me that, the book didn't."

"Always looking for the good in people, are you Isabella?"

"Something like that."

Another long pause.

"So are we still on for Saturday?"

"I take it you badgered Jasper for my number. How did you explain it?"

I could hear rustling on the other end of the phone. "I told him that I was going to help you do some research."

"Well, I guess if you told him that, I couldn't very well make you a liar, could I?"

I could hear the smile in his voice when he replied. "Thank you, Isabella. It's not often that someone worries about my integrity."

That made me laugh. "I don't know enough about you to question your integrity Edward."

"Then I'll make you a deal. You spend all day with me on Saturday, including dinner, and I will answer any question you throw at me."

"Any question?"

He chuckled. "Any question."

"You may end up regretting it, you know. I grew up playing twenty questions."

It took him a beat to answer. "I get to spend the day with you. How could I ever regret it?"