I have always thought that a wild animal never looks so well as when some obstacle of pronounced durability is between us. A personal experience has intensified rather than diminished that idea.
Dracula, Bram Stoker
Chapter 10 - Animal Instinct
I was a nervous wreck on Saturday morning. Four outfit changes. Hair up, hair down. Which coat should I wear?
This is pathetic. I was simply going to the zoo.
With Edward.
There was no simple about it.
The call on Tuesday had broken the proverbial ice. We spoke a few times a day, with the nights being our longest conversations. I would lie in bed and tell Edward stories about my family, growing up between Phoenix and Washington, and how I had ended up in Chicago. We spoke about books endlessly. I was amazed to find he loved literature as much as I did, although our tastes did tend to diverge a bit. It became a game of this or that. I'd say Shakespeare, he'd say Chaucer. I'd say Jane Austen, he'd say Charles Dickens.
I finally started to learn more about him, beyond the mystique. What he found interesting, what made him laugh, how he liked his coffee.
I wasn't any closer to knowing him though. At least not in any depth. All the revealing, or probing questions he dodged or redirected. I could tell you his favorite color (blue), that he liked to play rugby, and that he preferred dark chocolate, but I couldn't tell you anything of consequence. I knew better than to try and divine any secret depth in his affection for The Police.
I intended to remedy that today. I'd spent the last two days formulating questions. Dr. Edward Masen wasn't going to know what hit him.
At precisely 9, I was out in front, waiting. At 9:02, the black Aston Martin pulled up to the curb, and Edward jumped out of the car to open my door.
"Hello, Isabella." That little self-satisfied smirk was resident. It would be infuriating if it didn't make him so damn attractive.
"Hello Edward." My heart sped up at that smile. If it were physically possible to melt, I would have.
"Do you mind if I kiss you hello?"
Oh good lord. Is he really going to?
I couldn't find any words, so I nodded my agreement. His smirk grew into a full fledged smile. It caused his eyes to crinkle a bit around the corners. I'd never seen him really smile, just that annoying smirk. He looked happy. Almost carefree. So different from the arrogant, infuriating man that had tormented me for the last few weeks.
Edward leaned in to place a gentle kiss on my forehead. Another one, slightly longer, on my left cheek. He then pulled back, staring directly into my eyes for a moment before moving to the other side of my face. He traced his nose along my cheek bone before placing one last kiss next to my ear.
"I don't ever want to go that long without seeing you again," He whispered. His breath against my ear was warm, and I wanted to lean into him. I needed more.
My hands instinctively came to rest at the front of his open coat. Instead of pushing him away like I had in the past, I grasped at the zipper edges, pulling him in closer. He had absolute and utter power over me. I would do anything he asked.
He laughed at my ragged breathing. I didn't want him to laugh. I wanted him to continue.
"You still aren't going to properly kiss me, are you?" I asked.
Edward pulled back far enough so that he could look me directly in the eyes. The smile was still there, although not quite as broad as before.
"No, I'm not."
"Will you ever?"
He raised an eyebrow, as if mocking me.
"What if I kiss you?" I asked, amazed at my own courage.
"You won't." He sounded so arrogant, so self assured. It was exasperating. But he was also right. I wouldn't. I desperately wanted to, but I wouldn't.
"How do you know?"
He smiled and leaned in close enough to run his nose along my jaw. "I know you Isabella. I know how your brain works. I know what makes you mad, I know what makes you smile, and I know how to bring out that beautiful blush."
Maybe it was the tone of his voice. Maybe it was a challenge. I don't know what prompted me, but I turned my head and caught the edge of his ear with my lips. A clumsy kiss, but the fact that he didn't pull away emboldened me to do it again.
"Never bet against me. And I want to know what it feels like to have you kiss me on the lips."
"Why are you so insistent?" He asked quietly.
"Why are you so resistant?" I shot back.
Edward pulled away, his expression guarded.
I had managed to wipe the smile off his face. I immediately missed it.
He stepped back and pulled the car door open for me. I sat down as gracefully as possible, a challenge given how low the car was to the ground. I noticed his eyes on my legs, and a flush crept over my cheeks. He chuckled and closed the car door with a slam. Infuriating as he was, he might not be in as much control as he wanted me to believe.
Edward jogged around to the other side of the car, climbed in, and pressed the ignition button. He didn't acknowledge me, choosing instead to focus on navigating the car through London.
After five or so minutes of silence, he reinitiated conversation.
"You are quiet, Isabella. What's on your mind?"
I answered without thinking. "Would it be too snarky to say you?"
He laughed. "I like that you are honest. No games."
Honesty. It reminded me of something he had said the other evening on the phone.
"No games. You promised me that I could ask any question and you would answer."
Edward's eyes narrowed a bit, but never left the road. "That I did."
"Good. So let's start with the easy ones."
I spent the duration of the drive warming him up. Asking questions about his family, about Alice, And to my surprise, he truly seemed to open up. He laughed and smiled as he answered my questions, especially when his sister was involved. I liked seeing this side of him.
"It sounds like you played a lot of make believe growing up," I observed. It was hard to imagine him as a carefree child, laughing and playing.
"We did. We lived close to the old Abbey, and we would sneak up there to play King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. It was the perfect place to do it."
"I can totally see Alice as Guinevere," I laughed.
"Actually, Maggie was Guinevere. Alice always wanted to be Morgan Le Fay. She liked to think she had magic powers."
"Who's Maggie?" I asked.
Edward didn't answer.
"Edward? Who is Maggie?"
"A childhood friend." His tone indicated that he would not elaborate, so I redirected to another line of questioning.
"I can't imagine what it was like growing up in Whitby. To be in the middle of all that literary history."
The smile returned. "Honestly, we all got so fed up with the story. When it's front and center all the time, it loses its allure ."
We slipped back into comfortable conversation as I started lobbing questions at Edward about his time at 'University.' Yet another dialect nuance between American and British English.
It was a dreary day, with the constant threat for rain, which meant that we had most of the zoo to ourselves. We paid for admission and headed immediately for the wolves. In the book, Lucy's mother had been killed by a wolf that had 'escaped' from the London Zoological Garden.
"Special powers or no, I can't imagine breaking a wolf out of the London Zoo," Edward quipped. "One would think the good Count would have powers to lure one that wasn't in captivity."
"Where is your spirit of adventure, your imagination? It was a way to scare the residents of London, to make it seem more real. What was the line? Maybe the wolf 'escaped simply because he wanted to get out.'" I watched a grey wolf stalk away fromus, as if bored by our presence. "I am half surprised they haven't named one of the wolves Bersicker, after the escaped wolf in the book."
Edward leaned in close enough to whisper in my ear. "Trust me, my imagination is fabulous. And if I recall, he also used Bersicker to gain access to Lucy's home, not just kill her mother. To turn it back to you 'But, there, you can't trust wolves no more nor women.'"
He chuckled as I involuntarily shivered. "Cold, Isabella?"
I couldn't be irritated with him when he gave me that smile. And he could quote Dracula; it's probably a good thing that Rose wasn't around to hear, she'd never let me live it down.
We spent the rest of the morning wandering. Edward had taken to peppering me with questions as well, mostly about my dissertation and my analysis of the characters. His knowledge of the story and the character nuances was deep enough to make me wish I had a paper and pen periodically. Little comments like the one earlier about Bersicker would trigger a thought that could be helpful later on. Maybe this little outing would be good for my paper after all.
It was close to noon, and we were in the reptile house when I re-engaged my line of questioning.
"Why did you decide on hematology?"
We had paused in front of case holding a viper of some kind. He didn't answer right away, and I thought for a moment that he hadn't heard me. I noticed that he looked around quickly, before turning to back me up against the wall. My hands braced against the glass behind me, and I pulled in a sharp breath as I felt his lips graze my ear.
"What are you doing?" I asked nervously. Having him this close was enough to send my heart into overdrive again. Every touch me made me feel out of control. Part of me wanted to run and hide, the other part wanted to beg for more.
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to be around you?"
His admission sent a small surge of power through me though. No one had ever said that to me before, made me feel wanted like Edward did. Maybe he was just as affected as I was.
"It's not very easy to be around you either," I admitted. I may be setting myself up for failure, but I couldn't lie.
I felt his hand slip inside my coat and slide lightly up my side, grazing my breast. I sucked in a breath in response. Edward moved his head, using his nose to push my hair away from my ear.
"I wanted to demystify you, bring you out of your shell, so that I could find out what was underneath and walk away. But the more I see, the more I want."
His hand had started its circuit back down my body. He was bolder this time, palming my breast and squeezing.
"I want you, Isabella. I have never wanted any woman like I want you."
I dropped my head back against the glass, forgetting that we were in a public place. I was wedged between a man who knew how to push every button I had and a poisonous snake. And all I could think of was more. I focused on his hand, wishing that I had stuck with a shirt instead of a sweater. He could have just popped a few buttons open and had his hand directly on me.
"What do you want, Isabella?" His breathing sounded a bit labored now. He felt it too.
"Look at me," I whispered.
He paused for a second, before pulling back so that I could see his face.
I leaned forward quickly, taking advantage of the proximity to place a gentle kiss on his lips. I don't know who was more shocked by the contact, Edward or me.
I expected him to pull back, to chastise me, to blow up. Instead, he returned my kiss hesitantly. I don't know what shocked me more, him for returning the kiss, or me for initiating it in the first place.
That one chink in his armor was enough to give me the courage that I needed. I kissed him again, harder, waiting for him to respond. Then again, opening my mouth slightly, waiting to see what he would do. And again, this time grazing my tongue against his.
And that was all either of us needed. All hesitancy fell away. Edward pushed me back against the glass, groping furiously as we lost ourselves in a kiss that had been weeks in the making. Every thought, every moment spent day dreaming in the library didn't begin to come near this.
We jumped apart at the sound of laughing children. A few moments later, a cluster of little boys came whipping around the corner, jabbering on about seeing the vampire bats.
Instinctively, I raised the back of my hand to my mouth, wiping the remnant of the kiss from my chin. Edward's eyes narrowed as he watched. I felt totally exposed.
His hand was out in a flash. He grabbed my wrist, pulling me after him out of the reptile house and through the zoo grounds.
"Edward?" I called after him, confused. Was he angry? He had initiated this. Granted, I had kissed him, but he responded. He couldn't be mad.
He stopped and spun around, pulling me up against him. His hand was in my hair, and he was kissing me as hard as he had in the reptile house. His tongue was in my mouth, and his hand was knotted in my hair as I held onto him tightly. He broke away from my mouth and kissed along my jaw to my ear.
"Tell me what you want," he rasped.
When I didn't say anything, he growled. "Tell me, Isabella. Tell me what you want."
It was the emphasis on want that made up my mind. We had come to the zoo under the guise of my dissertation. A momentary flash of the article I had tripped on earlier in the week ran through my mind. Angel/Whore. You couldn't be both.
"Take me home. My flat, your home, just take me somewhere that we can be alone."
I was shocked the moment it cleared my lips. It wasn't that I regretted it. On the contrary, it was all I could I think of. I wanted Edward, desperately. He'd been in my head for weeks, and now here we were, in the first place he ever pushed me, lured me in, made me want more. He had been front and center in my fantasies for weeks. And now here we were.
"Are you sure?" He asked quietly.
"Yes." The confidence in my answer masked the nerves that were tearing apart my insides.
He shifted back to my mouth so that he could kiss me once more, and then broke away. He stepped back, and held out his hand. I searched his face, hoping to find motivation, intent. His expression was unreadable. I'd find no answers there.
It was my choice. I knew what he wanted. I knew what I wanted. But it was my decision to make.
I pulled in a slow breath, and reached out to grasp his hand. He could lead me to hell and back. As long as he was leading, I would follow.
We were walking fast, almost a run, through the zoo grounds. It had started to rain while we were in the reptile house, completely clearing out the zoo. By the time we reached the parking lot, it was all but deserted.
We were soaking wet and laughing. I hadn't heard him really laugh before, and it was a beautiful sound. I wished that I could freeze this moment in my mind. His smile, his laugh. The way he made me feel.
Edward pulled out his keys, deactivating the car alarm and went straight to his car door without letting go of my hand. He yanked the door open, sat down in the car, and tugged me in after him. I followed without hesitation, climbing in to straddle him in the front seat.
The door pulled shut with a quiet thud, sealing out the world.
"I will take you home, but I am not patient enough to wait that long." Edward's voice was low and confident. "Do you trust me, Isabella?"
Even if I didn't, I wouldn't have told him that.
"Take your coat off please."
I immediately obeyed. The moment my shoulders were back, Edward's hand was tugging at the bottom of my sweater so that he could slip his hand up underneath. He traced slow circles methodically up my stomach as I struggled to shake off my jacket and toss it in the passenger seat.
"Put your hands on the back of the seat, please," he requested, voice quiet but commanding.
I complied, my hands gripping the soft leather. Both of his hands were up inside my sweater now, tracing and roaming. He slipped his hands inside my bra, gently squeezing and teasing.
"Do you want me to take you home still? Or should I stop?"
I arched into his hands. "I don't care where you take me, just get us there fast."
He squeezed again, and I dropped my head back, losing myself in the sensations. He dropped his head to my neck, and I felt his tongue tracing the hollow of my throat. If he didn't stop, we weren't going to make it out of this car.
"Since you phrase it like that…" His hand dropped, popping open the button on my jeans and tugging the zipper down. It had started to rain hard, the water drumming a gentle staccato on the roof. It was impossible to see more than ten feet in front of us.
"Do you trust me? You didn't answer before." His expression was serious, but his eyes were alight with a fire I'd never seen before. It reminded me of the smile and the laughter from earlier. He was happy, he was alive.
I nodded my assent, and waited for him to continue.
"May I touch you?"
I immediately nodded, not trusting myself to speak. His fingers on my stomach almost made me jump.
"Shhhh. Relax. Trust me."
I closed my eyes and grasped leather of the driver's seat.
"Open your eyes, Isabella. Don't hide."
Edward tugged at my jeans, and I moved to help accommodate the awkward angle. His fingers continued to travel lower, tracing and teasing. If I had been a bit more courageous, I would have forced his hand myself; he couldn't move fast enough.
The first time he touched me, I could feel a rush of heat through my entire body. My face felt like it was on fire. I lifted my hips in reaction. Edward held my gaze, that self-satisfied smirk settling back in over his beautiful face. I had never felt so completely
out of control and yet utterly aroused. All I could think was more. I'd beg if he told me to.
But I didn't need to beg. Edward anticipated exactly what I wanted. I gasped as he slipped inside me, too caught up in the moment to register irritation at his chuckle. His hand moved rhythmically, methodically, increasing the tension that had started to form knots in my stomach. But it wasn't enough, and I subconsciously started to rock back and forth in response. I couldn't handle the intensity of his gaze, and closed my eyes, shutting out everything but the feeling of him. I vaguely registered his labored breathing, but it quickly faded away, obscured by the explosion of white behind my eyelids as I gave into the shockwaves. I was lightheaded at the intensity, and arched back, my head resting against the steering wheel to ground myself.
I tried to regain my composure, but all I wanted was for him to continue. What was happening to me? Was that what I had been missing out on? I'd never felt so wanted, so free.
"That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." I heard Edward whisper. His tone was reverent, almost awed. He couldn't mean me?
He slipped his hand around my neck, and pulled me forward so that he could kiss me again. I could get drunk on the taste and feel of him, and gave in willingly as he tugged my hair to gain access to my neck again.
When he moved to zip my jeans I whimpered. I didn't want him to stop. I wanted more. I needed more. He tugged on my hair, forcing me back so that he could look directly into eyes.
"Climb in the passenger seat and buckle your seatbelt," he murmured. "I have no intention of following the traffic laws. I want you in my bed. Now."
I awkwardly scrambled across the console and into the seat. I wasn't going to argue with Edward Masen.