High guys! Oh my firggin gosh this weeks been stressful. Thanks to band district and my exams I haven't gotten a wink of sleep, I'm super stressed, and I think my hair might be falling out! But enough of my issues, hope everyone enjoys this chapter and reviews at the end!
Special thanks to princess-of-all-sayins ( I REFUSE to use the new pen name) and Em-Chan (sorry Em-Chan, your pen names to hard for me to spell T_T).
*story start*
It was a warm and sunny afternoon at Germany's place, and everyone was flipping out and enjoying the weather as a result. Em-Chan had been so excited about the weather, that she called all the other nations (Germany would flip when he saw his phone bill) and invited them over for an It's-Sunny-Outside-So-Let's-All-Party-And-Get-Wasted party!
England, America, and the wordy-pervy-dirty France were all arguing about the increasing price of pickles, Prussia was sunbathing in the neon Speedo that was in the third chapter, Canada was smiling in a lawn chair secretly plotting to take over the world, Russia was slow dancing with a bucket ('cause he had gotten drunk on American moonshine), Germany stood in the shade and watched the ciaos while China stayed inside watching Japanese game shows…oh, and Italy was eating pasta.
Japan was standing calmly under a weeping willow tree…until Rochelle jumped and tried to rape him; which made Em-Chan jump in to try to save the man she had been planning to rape from getting raped by another raping Japan fan girl…wait, what? Kenzie probably would have jumped into the rape fight, but she had be sentenced to her room by the others to keep out of trouble…she just ended up watching Fiddler On The Roof a million times.
You know what I mean, the usual stuff.
"IF I WERE A RICH MAN! YABA DIBI DIBI DIBI DIBI DIBIDIBI DIBI DUMMMMM!" Kenzie sang from upstairs, catching every ones attention.
"…What did you say she was doing again?" asked England.
Rochelle just sighed. "She's been watching that damn movie again. You know, that's all she talked about for TWO HOURS yesterday."
"Fiddler on the Roof is good." said Russia. "It takes place in Russia."
No one argued with Russia because they knew they would most likely die if they did. Eventually, everyone went back to drinking and arguing like before, trying to drown out Kenzie screeching show tunes from upstairs…it didn't work.
Em-Chan casually walked over to England.
"Hi England!" she greeted. "Enjoying the party?" she had to scream slightly to be heard over Kenzie's singing.
"What?" England yelled back. Blood started dripping out of one of his ears.
"OHMYGOSH! Kenzie's singing is making your ears bleed!" Em-Chan screamed, catching everyone's attention.
"What was that? I can't hear you over Kenzie's screaming! I'm going to make the house soundproof with my magic!" England yelled back.
A sparkly sky blue aura surrounded England as he spoke the magic words.
"Hoffle waffle catcha barus!" he said. Lightning came flying out of his fingers…it hit Italy square in the chest (England has a bad aim).
Everyone face: 0_0
The Italian remained motionless on the ground.
"Ita? You okay?" asked Prussia, who brought out the trusty old poking stick to give Italy a few jabs. But before the little piece of wood came into contact with his skin, Italy opened his eyes, which were now red like blood (or strawberries :3). He glared at the stick so intensely that in burst into flames.
"Poking stick! Nooooo!" Prussia fell to his knees and raised his hands to the sky in anguish.
"Um, I don't mean to ruin your angst moment," Rochelle said to Prussia. "but why are Italy's eyes red?"
Italy turned his head in Rochelle's direction so fast that his head made a 'snap' sound.
"Because this crackfics all about ME, BITCHES!" he yelled.
Everyone face again: 0_0
"Did he cuss?" asked America.
"No bloody way!" England said.
"Святой потный шаров!" said Russia. I don't know how to say any of that, but according to Google translator, it means 'holy sweaty balls' in Russian. =w=
"That's right, suckers! I'm going yandere! Now, I demand you build a 300 foot tall statue of me!" Italy said, as he put on a random black cape like super villains wear.
"Pshhhh. Make us-aru." said China.
Italy looked at China with a malicious grin plastered on his face (I can't see it either).
"Ok." out of no where, ten vicious looking dogs that were the sizes of small horses showed up, snarling and foaming at the mouth. One stepped closer, looking at China hungrily.
"Oh, it looks like Sprinkles, my man-eating-werewolf-hybrid dog has taken a liking to you, China." said Italy. "Do you want me to tell him to play with you?" the vicious dog stepped closer.
Meanwhile, China's jaw was hanging open.
"Where did you get man eating dogs-aru? You've only been evil for like, two minutes-aru!"
"Eh. AlwaysTomorrow's been planning this chapter for a while. she had plenty of time to get all this stuff together, BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!" Italy stood up growing ten inches so he towered over everyone else. "You are all now my slave and will remain so until you die of exhaustion that I cause!"
Everyone gulped.
*later that afternoon*
The nations were a mess. Germany and Prussia had been sent to build the 300 foot statue of Italy all bye themselves. Russia had been forced to clip Italy's overgrown, green, strait up nasty toenails, and had been huddling in a corner crying ever since. China had been forced to eat one of America's cheep, greasy burger, while America was forced to watch and not get one of his own (which ended up giving him a heart attack). Italy had gotten England super high on a bunch of drugs. England was so high that he saw Flying Ming Bunny die of cancer and had repressed memories of being molested by his Uncle Gesus. Rochelle and Em-Chan had been forced to wear toga's, but were otherwise ok….everyone forgot Canada was in the room, so he was okay too.
"I'm hungry!" stated Italy. He turned to Em-Chan. "Women! Fetch me nourishment!"
Em-Chan narrowed her eyes at Italy.
"I didn't hear a please in that statement!" she growled.
"Yandere Italy doesn't say please! Food! Now! You go get!" Italy slowly rose from his ivory throne (he personally killed the elephants to make).
"No! I refuse to do anything until you say please!" Em-Chan slowly rose off the floor.
"Whoa, guys! Don't worry, I'll go get the food!" Rochelle said panicky, trying to keep the peace.
"SIT DOWN!" both Em-Chan and Italy screamed at the same time.
"…Okay." Rochelle slumped back down on the floor and started eating a chocolate bar (hey, if everyone was going to fight, she was going to enjoy it).
"Will you mother flocking please fetch me nourishment?" Italy said with a ton of sarcasm.
"Sure." said Em-Chan, who decided the fight wasn't worth it…at the moment. She left the room to make pasta.
Italy growled like a Pekingese and sank back in his ivory throne.
"Aw. No fight today." Rochelle grumbled.
"Here's your damn food!" Em-Chan shoved a plate of pasta in Italy's hands. He took one bite and immediately spit it back out.
"WHAT IT THIS!" he yelled/asked Em-Chan.
"IT'S FOOD, DUMBASS!" she yelled back.
Rochelle went back to eating her chocolate, expecting another fight to break out.
"This isn't food! It's DISGUSTING!" Italy threw the food against the wall.
Rochelle face: 0_0
Em-Chan face: :O
"You take that back! I'm a great cook!" Em-Chan screamed.
"Ooooooh! No he didn't!" Rochelle commented from her corner.
"Now you die!" Em-Chan brought out a switchblade.
"Not if I kill you first!" Italy brought out a switchblade of his own.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Rochelle was chanting in the corner.
Italy and Em-Chan circled each other like mad battling narwhals, occasionally lunging at each other, but never getting more than a few small scratches. That is, until Italy pulled a bitch move and pulled a rug Em-Chan had been standing on so she fell backwards.
Rochelle gasped when this happened, but otherwise made no move to help anyone.
"Any last words?" Italy asked, as he raised the switchblade over his head.
"Yeah, suck my-" Em-Chan never got to finish her statement because at that moment Kenzie overpowered England's spell and all that could be heard was her terrible singing.
"ANATEVKA, ANATEVKA, UNDERFED, OVERWORKED, ANATEVKA! WHERE ELSE WOULD SABBATH TASTE SO SWEEEEEEET?" she screeched form upstairs.
Everyone covered their ears!
"My ears!" Rochelle screamed.
"I think my brains melting!" Em-Chan screamed.
"No! I will not be stopped! I must-! Whoa! What's going on?" asked Italy.
"Eh?" Rochelle and Em-Chan said at the same time.
"Don't you remember anything?" asked Em-Chan.
"No. What's that terrible noise?" Italy asked over Kenzie's singing.
"Well fuck me sideways," Rochelle said. "Kenzie's singing made his brain retarded again!"
Everyone (except Italy) just stood there in shocked silence a few minutes.
"Didn't see that one coming-aru." commented China.
"I can't believe this." said Rochelle. "I think I need a nap." Rochelle left the house to find somewhere quiet to sleep. She was soon followed by everyone else.
*that night*
"Today's been…interesting." grumbled Prussia. Kenzie had stopped singing a few hours earlier and the house was deemed safe to enter.
"I still have a headache." mumbled Rochelle as she dry swallowed six Advil's. Everyone nodded in agreement.
Kenzie came skipping down the stairs.
"Guys! Fiddler on the Roof has changed my life! I have converted so that I'm now a Russian-Ashiest-Jew!"
"Do you really want to be Jewish in my house?" asked Germany…he was ignored.
"Kenzie! Go back upstairs! We've already had the crackfic for this week!" snapped Rochelle.
"Eh? When? What happened?" Kenzie freaked out.
"Go look it up on fan fiction! I'm to fired to re-live it!" said Em-Chan.
"…okay. T_T" Kenzie waddled back up the stairs and everyone went to sleep with major migraines from the events of the day.
THE END!
Everyone, you need to go watch Fiddler on the Roof on you tube RIGHT NOW! If you're Jewish, watch it! If you're Christian, watch it! If you're Russian, watch it! If you're bord, clean your room (ya lazy).
Review! Review! Review!