Hey guys. Id like to start off by apologizing for not updating in forever. But for those loyal readers who've watch my updates have probably noticed, FF deleted the entire story even though I did absolutely NOTHING WRONG. Jackasses. -_-

But I'm re-uploading everything and hoping FF keeps their noses out of my shit. Thanks for being so patient.

*story start*

It was a calm and peaceful night.

In England, people were having sweet dreams of over-the-hill-to-old-to-count women who have "ruled" the country for 60 years (the queens an immortal!).

In Russia, people were dreaming about being in the Bahamas and nuclear warfare.

In America, people were having nightmares about treadmills (shudders).

And what about Mr. Germany's house, you ask? Well, no one was sleeping. And why was that?

"Kenzie, Rochelle, Em-Chan! Sit the flock down RIGHT NOW!" Germany yelled at the top of his lungs.

Said girls were jumping off the walls because Prussia got the smart idea to give them Starbucks coffee and skittles. Between the caffeine and sugar, Germanys house never stood a chance.

Papers were flying through the air, windows were smashed, Kenzie was swinging from a chandelier like some sort of monkey, homeless hobos were crowded around trashcan fires. It was chaos.

"That's enough!" the German yelled…no one stopped.

"Bruder! This is JOUR fault! Make it stop!" Germany turned to Prussia.

"Kesesesese! Easy as pie!" Prussia said before walking into the middle of the room and yelling, "Ok, time for a bedtime story!"

"Bedtime story?" Kenzie squealed, accidentally letting go of the chandelier and falling to the floor with a sickening crack…she was ok.

"Aren't we a little old for those?" asked Rochelle.

"NO!" Kenzie said in a demonic voice.

"Oh shiznitts!" said Em-Chan.

"Everyone shut yo traps!" Prussia caught their attention. "Now gather around and prepare for your mind to explode with my awesome storytelling abilities."

The girls and hobos crowded around Prussia.

"What are you going to tell us first?" asked Em-Chan.

"The amazing story of The Three Little Pigs-"

"Heard it." yelled Rochelle.

"Yeah! I want an original story!" Kenzie backed Rochelle up.

Prussia crossed his eyes at the two girls.

"Okay. How about the story about…The Three Little Baltic's."

"The Three Little Baltic's?" everyone asked.

"Yes. Now everyone shut the hell up and sit tight!"

The Three Little Baltic's:

Once upon a time, there were three little Baltic brothers. There was Latvia who was, well, adorable and misunderstood. There was Lithuania, who was hot and commonly paired with a cross-dressing vallygirl. And last but not least, there was Estonia who…um…wore glasses!

"That's all you could think of for me!" Estonia yelled at the narrator.

"Shut up Estonia! You don't do anything!" the narrator yelled back.

"Fine! Whatev' man. -_-"

Back to the story. The three little Baltic's lived happily lives with their mother. There was only one issue…they were all in their thirties. One day their mother had had enough.

"THAT'S IT! You're all filthy, lazy, jobless bums! And you take all the hot water in the shower! GET OUT!" she screamed as the kicked the men out.

"But mommy! I only look, like, seven years old in the anime!" Latvia yelled.

But it was to late. Their mother had shut and locked the door. The men. Were. Fucked.

"Oh god! Oh god! We're gonna DIE!" Latvia screamed.

"Calm your tits!" Lithuania smacked Latvia. "It's not like anything can hurt us out here."

Suddenly the Baltic's heard their mother yelling through the door, "Oh, and boys, I heard the other day that a big bad Russia's been spotted in the aria."

Now the men were literally fucked.

"Oh damn! We're gonna DIEEEE!" Lithuania sobbed, making Latvia break down too.

"Stop being such pussies." said Estonia. "All we need are strong houses and we should be fine."

Latvia sprung up with a determined look on his face.

"You're right Estonia! And I'll bet if we all worked together we could build a really strong- WHERE ARE YOU BOTH GOING!"

As it turned out, while Latvia was rambling on about teamwork, Lithuania had walked off in one direction and Estonia had walked off in the opposite.

"GUYS! We need to STICK TOGETHER!" Latvia screeched.

"Go build a house, Latvia." Lithuania yelled, not stopping to turn around.

"Yeah. Big bad Russia'll get you if you just stand there rambling on all day." Estonia called over his shoulder.

Latvia sniffled and walked off in despair.

"There…this house looks sturdy…" Latvia said…then he broke down in tears.

You see, his 'house' was more or less (but mostly more) a random hay pile he'd found in a field.

"…I'm gonna die… TT_TT" he said as he dug into the hay pile.

Within a couple of hours Latvia was starting to doze off.

"Kolkolkol."

Latvia's eyes snapped open like a whores legs.

"Maybe if I hold still he won't know I'm here…" he thought.

"Oh Latvia~! I know you're in there~!"

"SHIT A BRICK!"

"Latvia, Latvia, let me in." said the big bad Russia.

"NO!"

"Or I'll rip out the hairs on your chiny chin chin. ^J^"

"I DON'T HAVE FACIAL HAIR!" Latvia wailed.

"Oh. Then I'll rape you with my pipe, da?" with that said, the big bad Russia reached into the hay and dragged Latvia back to his place.

"Haha! Finally done!" Lithuania sighed as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

He had spent the entire day working on a four story, solid oak house with five bedrooms and three bathrooms.

Once he went inside he shut and locked the door with twelve deadbolts.

"That should keep the big bad Russia away." Lithuania mentally patted himself on the back.

"Lithuania, Lithuania, let me in."

Said man felt his blood run cold.

"G-go away big bad Russia! There's no way you could get in here!" Lithuania yelled at the door.

"Kolkolkol! Lithuania, turn around."

Lithuania cranked his head around in just enough time to see the end of a pipe come crashing into his skull.

"Teehee!" Russia giggled at the sight of the unconscious nation, "I'm enjoying this story more and more. ^J^" he then grabbed Lithuania and dragged him back to his place.

The big bad Russia had been wandering around for hours after dropping Lithuania off in search of Estonia.

"I don't understand. Where could Estonia be…?"

You see, dear readers, Estonia was the only smart brother who realized the big bad Russia always got what he wanted. So he bought a plane ticket and fled the country.

And he lived happily ever after…until the big bad Russia tracked him down…which he did about two days later.

The end

"Well? Were you dazzled by my awesome abilities?" Prussia asked with a triumphant grin on his face.

"I feel like you just got bored around the end and said whatever just to finish it." Em-Chan said.

"THAT'S ALWAYSTOMORROWS FAULT! Not mine!" Prussia ranted. "I'd like to see YOU do better."

"Ok." said Em-Chan. "I will."

She then launched herself into her own story.

Little Douche England

Once upon a time there was a little douche named England. He was easily irritated and loved to bake.

One day, he heard that his poor little arthritic grandmother had caught a cold and decided to bring her a bag of homemade goodies (read: bag of shit).

But just as he was getting ready to leave the house, his father stopped him.

"Little douche England," he warned, "there's a rumor that a big bad France's been spotted in the area. Be careful."

England's eyes got big.

"A big bad France! Are they dangerous!"

"Er…um…well, lets just say you're not able to walk strait for days if he catches you… Now get going." with that said, England's dad shoved him outside and shut the door.

"Well that was rude. -_-" England said, before walking down the wooded road.

Little douche England had been walking along the path for about half an hour when a tall blond man with (plastic) wolf ears stepped out of a bush and blocked his way.

"Honhonhonhon! Well 'ello there 'ansome. ;{D" he said.

"You're blocking my way!" England said, not liking the rape face the stranger was giving him.

The stranger 'tsk'd .

"Now, now. That's no way to treat a-"

"You're the big bad France. Get lost. -_-" said England.

"Wha? But you didn't even tell me why you're out 'ere!" said the big bad France.

"I'm bringing food to my grandmother." England said, waving his basket around.

"Your grand-mere, eh? So tell me, where does she live…?" the big bad France asked.

"Oh, 2398 Cranberry Lane, right under that big old pine tree at the top of a hill. You can't miss it. It's the only other house in this story." said England.

"Interesting…sauté!" the big bad France said, swaging off.

"Weird bloody frog." England mumbled, continuing on his way.

Not long after his run in with the big bad France, little douche England was at his grandmothers house.

"Hey granny! I brought food!" he yelled while banging on the door.

"Honhonhon! Come in my 'ansome grandson." replied England's "grandmother".

"Er…okay."

He opened the door and put the bag of food on the floor.

"Come 'ere little douche, so I can see you clearer." said the grandmother.

"Wow granny, when'd your eyes turn blue? Usually they're brown…" England gave his grandmother the shifty eyes.

"…they're contacts."

"And when you grow stubbles?" England inspected his grandmothers chin.

"Well, you see-"

"And why do you have a French accent?"

The two just stared at each other for a minute.

"Ah ha! It is I, the big bad beautiful France!" the man jumped up and ripped all his close off.

England face: OoO'

"Now come 'ere so I can 'eat' you! ;D"

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU BLOODY WANKER!" England ran around the house with the naked France in hot pursuit.

Just then, the door to the house swung open.

"Yo, Brittan! I woke up in this rad loggers outfit-" the American logger stopped when he noticed what was going on.

"Hey you! That's MY man!"

The logger then took his ax and chopped the big bad Frances hair off.

"That's the SECOND TIME you've done this to me!" France wailed to the narrator.

"Get over yourself." the narrator said back.

Little douche England and the American logger got married and had many little gay babies.

The end

"That was lame." mocked Prussia.

"At least my story put a few hobos to sleep." argued Em-Chan, pointing to the sleeping bums.

"Shut up!" screamed Prussia.

"Make me!"

"Well, while those two are arguing, I may as well tell my own story." said Rochelle, "KENZIE! Get the lights!"

Kenzie turned off the lights and turned a spot light on Rochelle.

The Little Sealand

Once upon a time, there was a little merman named Sealand.

He lived in the deepest part of the ocean with his father named Pirate!England, his obnoxious flounder friend named America, and his bitchy crab babysitter named France.

"Why do I 'ave to be the crab? =3=" France interrupted again.

"Because Sebastian's a French name! Now can it!" the narrator then shoved a sock in Frances mouth.

Anyways, they were all happy, friendly, yada yada.

One day Sealand sneaked away to the surface because he was a rebel and didn't like listening to Pirate!England.

*Static*

"Roch, I love where this is going and all, but I'm not sure we have enough time for this story. We already have eight pages typed." Kenzie butted in.

"SHUTUP KENZIE!" Rochelle bellowed.

"I'm sorry, I just don't think we have the time. And look, everyone's asleep except for us." Kenzie said, pointing out all the unconscious bodies.

"Yeah! Well! Shudup!"

"I can tell a story to put you to sleep!" Kenzie said with a determined face.

"Kenz, that's really not necessary-"

But it was to late. Kenzie had already started her own story.

Italy and the Beast

Once upon a time there was a merchant named Rome who lived with his grandson Italy.

One day, Rome had to go do merchant stuff.

"Now Italy. Be a good boy and don't stick your finger in the electric pencil sharpener again while im gone." he cooed.

"Alright grandpa Rome! Be safe!" Italy yelled, watching his grandfather ride away on his horse.

There's something everyone should know about Rome…the man had no sense of direction. Within hours he was desperately lost.

"Maybe if I take a left…or a right…OH! I can just go to that haunted looking mansion!" he said, spotting a (you guessed it) haunted looking mansion.

Just as he was getting ready to enter the place, a tall, blond, German monster stormed out.

"Vhat do you think you're doing trespassing! Get out- AHHHH!"

Another thing everyone should know about Rome, he was an awesome fighter. The minute the monster walked out, Rome went all "Ima whoop yo ass" on him.

He raised a spear, getting ready to kill the German when Italy appeared out of nowhere and threw himself on the monster.

"NOOOO! Nono! I love him!"

*static again*

"KENZIE!" Rochelle screamed.

"Yus?" asked Kenzie.

"Pocahontas did that! It never happened in Beauty and the Beast!" Rochelle spazzed.

"Oh…THE END!" Kenzie said happily.

"But! But!" Rochelle gave up and went to bed.

"Well, this's been fun! Good night everybody-"

Just then a guy high on bath salts jumped through a window and started eating the hobos faces off.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Kenzie.

"THE FUCK!" screamed Prussia.

And so everyone was running around trying to save their faces until Germany shot the druggie.

"See peeps. Drugs are bad." said Em-Chan.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Is there anything else we need to say before we're done?" asked Rochelle.

"Don't think so…" said Kenzie.

"Vell, bye everyone!" yelled Prussia.

!