This chapter is in Brittany's point of view. Italics are flashbacks, as always. Hope you guys enjoy! Again thanks for the support! =D
One. Will You Be There
"I'm so confused will you show to me,
You'll be there for me and care enough to bear me."
- Will You Be There, Michael Jackson
"Tommy? Come on wake up." I pull the ear bud headphones carefully but swiftly out of my son's ears. "Tommy." I still receive no response from him. "Tom!"
"What?" Tommy's eyelids shoot open to reveal his dark brown eyes as he jumps out of his seat slightly. I can't help but raise my eyebrow at him much like Santana would. I had taken out a few of her habits over the yes in order for the kids to take me seriously as a disciplinarian rather than just being the 'fun' parent most people saw me as. "Sorry." He smiles weakly.
"You're forgiven, just don't do it next time. We're here now so you can get up and help me take the stuff out of the car. Please?" I reply as I lean out of the backseat doorway before making my way to the back of the SUV. Over the past two years Santana and I have been dealing with Tommy's temper that he inherited from Santana. We had made it clear to him that just because his mother used to act that way didn't mean it was acceptable and that it wouldn't be tolerated. We had agreed before we had children that our children would never be like we were as teenagers, no outburst or playing dumb to get what they want.
A few moments later as I open the hatch Tommy appears at my side, running his fingers through his black hair that could be considered by the teenage girls who actually knew what 'Grey's Anatomy' was and whose parents work at Mount Sinai as "McDreamy"-like. "Okay, Mom, hand me what you got." Tommy flashes me a smile wide enough to immediately cause me to smile back.
"Here you go, macho man. Don't carry more than you can handle." I laugh as I hand off Santana's large suitcase to Tommy. He was quite strong for a fifteen year old boy who only participates in sports that involves wheels.
"Look whose talking, Wonder Woman." Tommy chuckles along with me before rolling his eyes; he clearly remembers his DC Superheroes themed eight birthday party. I had been a blonde Wonder Woman and Santana was brunette Batgirl. I can't help but watch him as he walks away towards Santana's parents' house. Tommy was the only child out of all our four children that could be considered equally Santana and me.
Unpacking the SUV as Santana, Lily, Nik & Lina went in to see Miguel and Maribel has given me the time to think about the conversation Santana and I had had almost two hours outside of Lima.
I can't think of what to say. My mind may be racing uncontrollably but there are no coherent thoughts; nothing I can turn into words, words to calm her down because she can't hear this from me. She just can't.
"Brittany, I need you to tell me what's wrong." I feel Santana squeeze my hand slightly.
"A child at work." I pause because the words come out of my mouth involuntarily. "Their parents just struck a nerve and I'm just trying to get it out of my head. There's nothing wrong with me. So I just need you to distract me, tell me some jokes." I chuckle now trying to keep this conversation as light as possible.
"You sure you don't want to talk about this?" I can sense the concern in her voice as she smiles sympathetically.
She knew that over the years that I had had some parents who were concerned with my personal life, which no matter how many times I tried to keep to myself came to the surface every year in September, and how that affected my ability to teach their children; as crazy as it sounds. Two years ago a father was banned from school property because the verbal distaste he showed towards the fact I was married to a woman, raised my children and taught others around my 'disgusting' lifestyle became physical. He had punched me in the face and kicked me in the ribs after the blow caused me to hit the floor.
I hated to bring up this incident because I knew how much trouble she had had letting out of her sight, let alone going back to work. I knew that this was the only way to get her off my back.
"I'm sure, not right now. We can talk about it later on, okay? I just want to spend some happy quality time with you considering that I'm ninety-nine percent sure that I'm not going to get to spend time alone with you this weekend." I squeeze Santana's hand trying to reassure her.
I can tell by the look on her face now that she's still worried, as if she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it will. She'll found out soon enough, I can't protect her from this, as much as I wish I could, and I can't. So I just want her to be happy now until it does happen. The 'little white lie' is my way of protecting her, just for now.
"Aunt Britty!" As soon as I walk through the door a small body collides with my own. I look down to find a dirty blond mess of hair belonging to my youngest nephew, Jonah, Reyna's youngest. She and David had managed to adopt three beautiful children through out their time together after her surgery; a daughter Lily's age, a son Nik's age, and of course Jonah. They had moved back to Lima a few months after adopting Penny.
I can't help but smile. "Hey there little man, what's shakin'?" I slowly put down the bags I'm carrying before lifting Jonah up in my arms. Jonah was pretty small for a seven year old making it possible for me to carry him.
"We got here early so we could get to see you and Auntie Tana, for longer before we had to go home and go to bed. And Abuelo got a cool new machine thingy. It looks like a gun holder thing." Jonah's eyes filled with amazement.
"Well I'm glad to see you too, Jo. Where's Auntie Tana hiding anyways?" I ask curiously because the rest of the house is quiet, which definitely is a rare occurrence at the Lopez's household when they all got together.
"She went upstairs with Mami and Abuela. Everyone else is in the den with Abuelo and the rest of the grown ups. But when Tommy said you were coming in after him I wanted to come and see you." He smiles widely showing off his infamous dimples.
I laugh slightly to hide my nervousness. "Okay, well let's go to the den then." I put Jonah down before following him downstairs to the den.
I'm met with the sight of my children sitting among my nieces and nephews near the fireplace. David is sitting on the loveseat with Jesse sitting next to him. Jonah swiftly takes a seat David's lap. But the person I'm looking for is sitting in a recliner facing the fireplace. My father-in-law's coloring is almost nonexistent which is extremely frightening considering his usual warm caramel tone. He's paler than I've ever seen him.
Miguel smiles softly, "Brittany, it's good to see you."
"Well it's always good to see you too, Miguel." I chuckle. "I see you got the LVAD afterwards. That's good, no more staying in a hospital bed for you." I smile widely; it's more for my own benefit than theirs. I had known about the LVAD before today. I just didn't know if they knew I had known so I try and play it cool by dropping the topic. "What are all of you guys doing up anyways? It's almost three o'clock in the morning. Shouldn't you all be in bed?"
Jeremy, my sister's husband chuckles before answering me. "Well some of us have been driving for a while and have children who slept the entire way that are currently like live wires." Ashley and Jeremy had moved to Jacksonville, Florida after Jeremy finished medical school and have been there ever since.
David also has two cents to put in. "And some of us have children who just couldn't wait to see their cousins so badly that they kept their parents up all night begging them to take them here."
"I see both of your points." I chuckle slightly before continuing. "So have you guys decided who's sleeping where?"
Lily is quick to answer my question. "Me and Lina are staying in the guest room upstairs. Nik and Tommy are staying in the guest room down here. And you and Mami are in Mami's old room." She smiles; it was evident that it was her handy work organizing who was staying where. Lily had a knack for organizing things; she definitely got that from Santana's and not me. It was also very much like her to leave Reyna's old room unoccupied.
After my first conversation with Santana after Reyna showed up on our doorstep years ago it had hit me why Santana was always slightly uncomfortable when we went to her bedroom using the typical way of the main staircase rather than me sneaking in through her bedroom window that frequently occurred. We would pass a room right before Santana's room, it always had the door shut and I had never been in it, as a child I surprisingly never asked why. It occurred to me after our conversation that the room must have been Reyna's when she still live with Santana and her parents. I was fairly certain that no one other than Santana's mother and Reyna herself have been the only one's in there since she moved out.
"Well that works well." I say with a smile before hearing the creak of the stairs leading down into the basement behind me.
Reyna and Maribel enter my peripheral vision but no Santana. My mother-in-law walks over towards her husband as I feel Reyna's hand on my arm. "She wants to talk to you. Upstairs." She whispers quietly in my ear before taking a seat next to her own husband.
"If you'll excuse me." I say quickly with a forced smile. I don't wait for a response from them as I swiftly make my way upstairs to her old bedroom.
I stop at her bedroom doorway finding her sitting on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. Her raven curls are glowing with help from the only light in the room; the Ohio moon. I slowly make my way into the room and take a seat next to her on the bed. "Santana, I," I stop speaking as she creeps farther away from me.
"You knew. You knew and you didn't tell me. I'm so confused. Why didn't you tell me? You lied to me. There was no child's parents, was there?" Santana lifts her head up out of her hands her red brimmed eyes are filled with tears that are streaming down her face. I hate to see her like this.
"No there wasn't. I just couldn't say anything else. I love your family, our family. I, I just couldn't. I didn't tell you because I couldn't be the person who ripped your hopes away. I just couldn't. I love you too much. I just wanted you to happy as possible until we came here and you could see for yourself." I move closer to her and wrap my arm around her shoulder hoping she wouldn't pull away.
My hopes aren't fulfilled as she hops up off the bed. "And I thought you loved me enough to tell me. If I had to hear this from anyone I would have wanted it to be you! I would have wanted it to be you because I thought you'd be there to pick me up off the floor and hold me. That you'd be the one to tell me that it'd be okay. Not my mother, not my sister but you. You, Brittany, you." She looks me in the eye for a moment before turning away to head out of the room.
She doesn't get very far because my hand instantaneously grabs her and stops her from leaving. My mind now travels to the phone conversation I had with Maribel a week prior.
"Hello?" I put the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I mix the stir-fry I making for supper. I hear nothing but sniffles and choked sobs as I wait for a reply. "San? Santana, is that you?"
"No." It takes me a second to recognize the voice on the other end of the line.
"Maribel, it's okay. Just breathe okay. Just breathe." I pick the phone up and place it fully on my ear turning off the stove. Supper could wait.
"Brittany," She stops as if for me to signal I'm still listening.
"I'm right here. It's okay. Just tell me what's wrong?" I look around the room to make sure the kids aren't here before swiftly walking to our office.
"It's Miguel, Brittany. He, he–" Her sobs begin again. It was extremely unlike Santana's mother to be this emotional, especially with me.
"Elizabeth." I pause a moment but receive no reply. "Elizabeth, I need you to listen to me, okay? I need you to tell me what happened to Miguel. Can you do that for me?" My voice presents itself as calm and concerned but deep down I'm almost as much of a mess as she is; because if something were to happen to Miguel Santana would be a complete mess, let alone the kids.
"Okay. Miguel, Miguel's in the hospital. The doctor's said something about viral cardiomyopathy and something machine called an L-vat."
This isn't good. This definitely isn't good; having my wife being a cardio goddess gave me enough knowledge to know what was going on. I realize that I haven't spoken for a moment. Say something, Brittany, damn it. "Okay, the machine is called and LVAD. It'll help pump the blood so that he go home. If you have any questions about it just ask the doctor and they'll explain everything to you okay, all you have to do is ask. We're all coming down for Miguel's birthday so we'll talk more about this then and we'll help you with anything you need okay, Maribel. I'm sorry Santana isn't home right now but I'll tell her to call you."
"That won't be necessary, Brittany. I just needed someone to calm me down, someone who's family, in this case, you. Thank you." Maribel laughs slightly as sniffs.
"Happy to be of service, Ma'am. Tell Miguel I hope he feels better soon. Just call us if you need anything else, okay?" I'm beginning to calm down slightly now.
"I will do that. Thank you again, Brittany. We both can't wait to see you, Santana, and the kids when you all come down. See you soon." Her voice is the calmest it's been since the beginning of this phone call.
"You're welcome, Maribel. Talk to you again soon." I say before hearing the infamous click of the receiver ending the call.
I slowly hang up the phone. My mind begins to race again. What do I say to Santana? How can I tell her this? Do I tell her at all or wait until we go to Ohio? I just can't. I can't be the one to do this to her. I can't.
"Santana. Don't do this. I'm right here." I push myself up off the bed with my other hand before closing the space between us. I wrap my arm around her waist before letting go of her hand to wipe the tears off her face.
Santana's eyes are focused on mine as if she's trying to read my thoughts. "I, I." She can't even finish her sentence. I can tell how much shock she is in and I need to make her realize that if there's only going to be one constant thing in her life, that thing is going to be me.
"I'm not running, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." I look straight into the eyes of my wife hoping she'll, no, needing her to understand exactly what I'm trying to say.
We share a quick moment of silence before our interaction is interrupted. Streams of raised voices from downstairs take us from our own little world. "Papi! Abuelo!" Santana's chocolate brown eyes widen and her breath hitches. My body's reaction mirrors hers.
"Mami! Santana! Mija! Help!"
Sorry for the cliff hanger again folks but it was just the appropriate place to end this chapter. Please don't hate me, please? :(
Hope you guys enjoyed it!
Reviews are highly welcome and very helpful *hint, hint, wink, wink, nod, nod* ;)