Early update for you guys as tomorrow for me will be spent studying my ass off! Hope you enjoy! There is a lot more Brittany and Santana as a couple in this chapter which I think you all will be happy about. So without any further ado, this chapter is written from Santana's, Brittany's, and Lily's perspective.

Eight. The Other Side of the Door
"I said leave, but all I really want is you…
Cause all I need is on the other side of the door."
- The Other Side of the Door, Taylor Swift

Walking down the hall before turning the corner to go to the nurses' station it was bells and whistles start going off in my head. Alarms telling me I was about to walk into the middle of a battle field. I'm surprised as my daughter approaches me. "Hey Ma."

"Lily?" My mother's raven curls bounce slightly as she looks up from her chart. "What are you doing here?"

"Drew and I are dropping off a friend from school." I nod in the direction of Drew and JJ. "You wouldn't happen to know who and where Dr. Abrams is would you?"

"I'm right here." A firm yet calm voice answers from behind me.

Lily is practically staring at Artie Abrams. I can't help but flinch slightly. It doesn't help the fact that Andrew Berry was standing behind them looking down the hall towards the ER with a teenage girl that resembled a woman I had seen dropping Artie off at the hospital last week. I can tell that this is not going to be exactly what could be considered pleasant.

"JJ!" Lily quickly turns around as she raises her voice slightly.

The redheaded girl and Drew both turn around. "Hey Dad." The redhead swiftly walks over and stands next to Artie. "Do you have a surgery scheduled for now?"

"I forgot didn't I?" Artie smirks slightly and shakes his head.

"Yes, you did forget, it's not a big deal, at least now I know where you work, right?"

"I'm sorry honey. And I'm being rude, this is Dr. Lopez." Artie chuckles as he motions from me to his daughter. "This is my daughter, JJ"

"It looks like you've already met my daughter, this is Lil." I say with a smile. "Lily, this is Artie Abrams you remember Dr. Abrams don't you?"

Artie had shown up at my father in law's funeral to show his respects for a few moments. He had approached me to say his goodbye for a moment before leaving. Lily had been standing next to me.

"I believe I do." Lily says with a small smile.

"And this," I motion to Drew who is beginning to approach us.

Artie turns his head around to take a glance. "You must be a Berry. You look so much like Rachel."

"Yeah, I am." I can notice the slight blush beginning to cross Drew's face. He was almost the complete opposite of his sister. Maria would own up to the Berry name and boast slightly, she was good kid but he was a lot like 'highschool diva' Rachel even if she was Quinn's biologically. "Andrew, Andrew Berry." Drew sticks his hand out to shake Artie's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Andrew." Artie smiles, shaking his hand. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to call your Mom now." Artie puts her hand on JJ's arms for a moment before rolling down the hall slightly and taking out his cell phone.

"How are you liking New York, JJ? Too many people for you?" I say with a small forced smile. I can feel myself loosen up, relaxing muscles I didn't notice I had been tightening until now.

"Nope I'm a city girl at heart but I'm not too pleased with the rain thing, but I'm starting to like it here a whole lot more." JJ smiles, I can't help but notice she subtly looks over at Lily after she finishes her sentence.

"Well that's good, I can remember hating the rain we first moved here but you grow to love it." I chuckle slightly.

"Would you guys mind giving JJ here a tour of the hospital," Artie rolls back over, leaning on the arm of his chair holding his pager. "I just got called into surgery and Maggie won't be here for another half an hour. I'm sure Lily and Andrew know this place just as well as you do, Santana" Artie chuckles.

Lily quickly responds. "Not a problem. We'll show 'er around, right Drew?"

"Sounds good." Drew nods along with his answer.

"I told Maggie you'd meet her in the cafeteria. I've got to run. Nice to meet you Lily, Drew." Artie flashes a quick smile before disappearing behind a corner into the next hallway.

As if on cue my pager begins to go off. "As much as I would love to stay with you guys I've got to go. You two better start the tour or you're going to be in the middle of the hospital when JJ's mom is going to be in the cafeteria waiting on you all. "I say with a smile. "I might see you guys later. It was nice to meet you, JJ."

Mami gives me a reassuring smile before she glides around the corner in a typical 'Queen of Peds' fashion.

I can't help but chuckle at the look that has now formed on JJ's face. "Did she just?"

"Yes, yes she did." Drew finally speaks.

"How?"

"She wears Heelys." I can't help but butt in.

"Nice, I like your mom. She seems pretty awesome."

"Did you just say awesome?" I can't help but ask.

"Uhm, yes." JJ looks at me as if to ask what she did.

"That's kind of my Ma's thing. She says awesome, and super for that matter, a lot. And I mean a lot." I can't help but chuckle.

"Oh, you had me a tad bit scared there for a second. I had no idea what I said." JJ laughs slightly nervously.

"No worries. Let's get a move on though, don't want us to be late and make a bad impression with your mother, right Drew?"

"Right. Come on JJ, there's an awesome view of the city right outside this hall." He says before heading down the hall.

"Lead the way." She says before following him. "Come on Lily." She grabs my hand and begins to lead me all with her.

I don't protest, I simply smile and follow.

"This place is a lot bigger than the last hospital my dad worked at, a lot bigger." JJ's voice is filled with enthusiasm and her eyes slightly widened in awe.

"Where did she work before?" Drew asks as we make our way across the walk way from the surgical wing to the cafeteria giving us a great view of the overcast sky of New York.

"Lima Memorial, it's in Ohio." As Jess speaks I can feel the blood rush from my face, making me become paler than usual.

I can hear the blood begin to pound in my ears and feel the tears forming in my eyes. "I've got to go check on something. I'll meet you guys in the cafeteria."

I begin to walk away quickly. "Lily." Drew tries to grab my hand but I manage to pull away in time. Almost involuntarily I begin to run away, in the opposite direction we had been heading down the walk way. "Lily!" Drew's voice calling me, almost begging me to stop doesn't affect me at all. I keep putting one foot in front of the other, never looking back.

As I pass through the doors to the surgical wing I slow down enough to not draw attention to myself. I instantaneously regret my choice of running back to the surgical wing at the sight my mother's black hair at the end of the hall. I'm praying she didn't notice me.

"Who are you kidding, Lily?" I say under my breath as I swiftly make my way into the public washroom.

Entering the washroom I come face to face with the large mirror that spread the entire length of the counter. I've unfortunately inherited my mother's bodily reaction to crying. My russet brown eyes are slightly bloodshot and are starting to get puffy. My mascara and eyeliner has caused faintly blackened tear streams to form on my face. I quickly splash water on my face before locking myself in a stall because I know that if my mother had seen me she would be here any second.

As I slide down the wall of the stall, making my way to sit on the floor I hear the creak of the washroom door opening. I sniff as the crying I've been trying to contain becomes inevitable.

"Mija?" My mother's voice fills the room as the door shuts behind her. "Lilypad?"

I can hear her footsteps getting closer; one step, another step, another step, and another. I can see her running shoes from under the stall door. I close my eyes hoping it will make my presence in this room disappear.

"Lily Quinn Lopez do not make my have to climb over this stall, because I will. You know I will." Even without being able to see her I can tell my mother now has her hand in her hair, leaning more of her right foot.

I lift my hand away from my face and reluctantly unlock the stall door.

Opening the door reveals my mother's soft expression that seems slightly out of place, it seems like an expression that would my other mother's face. This is an expression I haven't seen from Mami lately.

She squats down, tying her hair up in a messy ponytail. "What's wrong, Lily?" She places her hand on my cheek, beginning to wipe away the tears from my face.'

"He was there wasn't he?" They are the only words that can come out of my mouth. I don't know how to explain it any other way.

"Sweetie," My mother sighs before moving close to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder; her hand brushing the hair out of my face.

"Just tell me." I look up at her, the tears blurring my vision.

"Yes, sweetie he was there." I can feel her running her fingers through my hair just like she did when I was a little girl. "He was there and he did everything he could to help save your Abuelo but there was nothing he could have done, nothing I could have, nothing anybody could have. It was simply his time to go, honey."

"It's, it's," I try and reply but the sobbing begins to take over my body.

"I know I know it's hard but you've got to push through it okay. It get's better." She gives me a small smile before kissing the top of my head.

"It's been three weeks, but he's gone, he's just gone." I sniff. "It's just not." I take a deep breath unable to finish my sentence.

"You know that I'm always here for you, me and your mom are always here if you need to talk okay?" I can hear her sniff before continuing. "You're always going to be my Lilypad."

"Thank you, Mami." They are the only words that come out of my mouth; they are the only words I can use to express how much I love her and how much I'm thankful for her and Mom.

After cleaning Lily up a tad bit, I decided I'd go with her to the cafeteria. By the look on her face when I first suggested it she was about to protest but pulled out at the last moment.

"Do you think they'll still be there?" Lily's voice is slightly shaky but I can sense how hard she is trying to stay strong.

"If I know Drew, and I'm infinite percent sure I do, he's not going away but the cafeteria. And also by the looks of it so far JJ doesn't seem like the type of person to run off before seeing if you're okay." I say pushing open the door to the cafeteria.

As we pass the coffee cart I notice Drew sitting with two redheads who were back on to us. Drew noticed us and raises his hand to motion us to come sit down with them.

I glance to my right to see Lily smile slightly at him. "You don't have to come with me you know." She said, almost whispering.

"Its okay, Lils. Plus it's just as well for me to meet JJ's mom now because you guys seem like you're going to be good friends." I answer with a small smile.

She doesn't reply as we continue to approach the table. I notice an exchange of glances between Lily and Drew as I take a seat next to him and the woman I've assumed is JJ's mother.

"Sorry about earlier," Lily is the first to speak. "I,"

She doesn't get the chance to finish her sentence as JJ interrupts. "No need to explain, you haven't known me very long so you're entitled to your own privacy." She chuckles faintly before giving Lily a soft smile.

"Thanks." I can see the faint blush on Lily's cheeks as she speaks.

"This is my mom, Maggie, by the way." I now take notice of the woman sitting next to me. She turns her head to face me, revealing her emerald green eyes and a welcoming smile. "Lily's mom knows Dad." JJ' says in Maggie's direction.

"It's Santana right?" She holds her hand out for me to shake as I nod in reply." I've seen pictures from Artie's yearbooks. You haven't changed a bit." She gives me a smile and I can tell that she obviously isn't uncomfortable around me.

"You went to high school together, Mami?" The curiosity in my daughter's voice is evident.

"Yes, me and Mom." I answer her before addressing Artie's wife. "How are you adjusting to The Big Apple?" I ask trying to make conversation.

"I grew up in New York actually, and was a scrub nurse here at Mount Sinai for a little while. I think you were a second year resident when I was here if I remember correctly."

I try and scan my memory to remember her. "Maggie," I pause for a moment, "You're Maggie Allaway, aren't you? The scrub nurse who stayed with the teenager who had the plague after all the doctor's left because they didn't want to get sick."

"That's her alright." JJ smiles widely as she answers proudly before Maggie even gets a chance to speak.

"I remember that case, I remember the attending on duty told me to set his shoulder because he had lost consciousness and fell down the stairs." I can remember the look on his face when the bones set back into place; it was the first shoulder I had set without a senior resident or attending looking over my own shoulder. I wasn't a regular surgery resident but that day had been all hands on deck.

"You were the resident who made that really macho guy who refused painkillers wet himself because you told him he was being an idiot in less appropriate words, weren't you?" Maggie is trying to contain her laughter.

I can't help but laugh at the memory, "Yes that was me!" I say between laughs.

It is only as I look over to Lily who was laughing do I realize what I've done; carrying on with a woman I barely even know when my own wife can barely get me to crack a smile. As if on cue Brittany, clearly bringing my dinner, walks into the cafeteria with a confused expression on her face causes a knot to form in my stomach. Her confusion filled eyes meet my own for only a moment before I've ran away from the table.

After witnessing Santana's exit I quickly approach my daughter. "Lils, can you hold on to Ma's lunch for me. I'll be back." I place the brown paper bag on the table in front of her.

"Sure, Mom." Lily nods almost hesitantly.

I carefully step away from the table trying not to draw to much attention to my exit. I receive a momentary look of worry from Lily but I give a reassuring smile before exiting the cafeteria.

As I enter the hallway I look both ways searching for the raven curls belonging to my wife. I see her glide around a corner to enter the west corridor. I immediately begin to run after her as fast as I possibly can.

Entering the west corridor I notice Santana is gliding into an on call room, shutting the door behind her. As I stop in front of the on call room door I go to reach for the door handle but I hesitate.

Does she want me to come after her? Does she want me at all?

I put the questions behind me as I knock on the door. "Santana," I turn the door handle to find it locked. "Santana I need you to talk to me, okay? So please San, please open the door." I'm pleading with her to let me in because I know she needs me, just as much as I've ever needed her.

My questions are answered as I stand outside this on call room, waiting for the love of my life on the other side of the door that never opens.

Leaning back against the on call room door, Brittany pleading me to open it, I feel tears forming in my eyes and my hands beginning to become clammy.

"Go away Britt!" I finally speak after a minute silence; it is only now that I can find some composure enough to speak.

"I'm not going anywhere, Santana." Her voice is calm yet firm, she's using the tone she had once used with me trying to get me to open up to her at the beginning of our relationship. That tone had never failed, and now she had become a master of it. I can feel my resistance begin to wear thin at her words. "I'm not leaving so open up right now."

"Brittany, leave me alone!" The use of her full name was something that was always my last resort. I was hoping that it would express my need to be alone with my thoughts at this moment.

Clearly I was wrong. "No, San, I will not leave you alone. You can use my full name as ammunition all you want but it's not going to make me leave. You need me. You know it and I know it."

I wish I could let her walk away. But my resistance was never enough, it was ever futile. She was right. My rational thinking always went out the window; I would push her away and she'd pull me back just as hard. And I need her to pull, more than ever.

I was afraid to admit how much I needed her. I was her protector; I'd hold her when she cried and stand in the line of fire for her. But in moments like this I'd push her away until I couldn't push anymore. I'd tell her to leave when all I ever wanted was her; for her to stay and tell me everything was going to be okay, for her to hold me close so I could smell her coconut shampoo and something that was distinctly Brittany.

All I never needed was her.

Right now all I need is on the other side of this door, and yet I can't bring myself to open it, to let her see me like this. I try to speak, to continue to tell her to leave but nothing comes out. Sobs begin to take over my body before I finally give in.

I slowly turn the doorknob and walk to the other side of the room, pulling the door ajar slightly.

"Santana." Brittany walks up behind me. She places her hand on my hip slightly rubbing with her thumb the small amount visible skin just above the edge on my scrub pants trying to calm me. "I need you to talk to me."

With Brittany's words as a catalyst I almost instantaneously turn around, burying my head into the crook of her neck, the smell of her soothingly begins to fill my senses.

I feel her take a deep breath as she begins to wrap her arms around me. "You've been smoking again, haven't you? She says with a sigh.

It was as if I was asking to get caught. Ever since I first started at the age of sixteen, in attempt to get the solo for Nationals, the smoking was always the habit I resorted to when I felt like I had nothing else I could do to put me at ease. It was what I'd turn to when I felt that saying something to Brittany would only burden her, when things got really bad. Even so I can't bring myself to admit it because right now it is as if I've failed her. I feel that way because this is the first time in almost twenty years I've resorted to this. She had made me get over the habit, she had made me talk to her the way I used to have to make her talk to me; she helped me and that was better than any cigarette I've ever had. But right now I can't help but feel that telling her may make her think I'm crazy, like I've lost my marbles and feel like I should be admitted to the psych ward some days.

With these thoughts my sobbing starts to become uncontrollable I wrap my arms around Brittany's neck pulling her closer, holding on for dear life.

She tightens her hold on me, now rubbing her hand up and down my back. "Shh, its okay." She places a kiss on the top of my head before continuing to speak. "I need you to talk to me. You know that it's not going to stop until you talk to me. It never does, sweetheart. Come on, let's go lay down so we can talk, okay?"

I nod slow as Brittany begins to lead me to the lower bunk. We lay down, her arm wrapped around my waist, her fingers playing with my hair soothing me. We lay here for a moment with no words, just with my eyes looking into hers and hers into mine.

I bring my hand to her face, slowing caressing her cheek with my thumb before taking a deep breath. "I'm scared, even after all this time I'm scared. I'm still that cowardly little girl that hid behind her bark, which was always worse than her bite. I'm still that little girl who's terrified of being forced out of the closet yet I still get pushed out. Brittany, I'm scared."

"Santana, its okay to be scared. But I need you to tell me what's scaring you so we can work on it," she takes my hand in hers. "Together."

"I told you to leave because I'm scared. I told you to leave because I'm afraid that I need you too much. I'm scared because I love you." The tears are beginning to form again in my eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay." She places a kiss on my forehead. "This is about your father isn't it?" I nod in response. "And Artie?" I can't help but look at her in slight shock. "I've noticed, I've noticed but I didn't realize how big it was until now. So we can talk about it, right?"

"We can talk about it." I say sniffling. "Ever since he died I feel like you're slipping away from me. Now every time I look at you with Artie which I know isn't that often, or with Quinn, I feel like you're slipping away. I feel like a jealous teenage girl all over again who's losing her girlfriend to some uncontrollable situation. Except that this time I don't have my Dad to tell me what to do, I don't." I stop in fear that I'm not making any sense.

"I get it. You might not think I do, but I get it, I do." She pulls me closer, placing her forehead against mine. "I get it because I love you and I don't want to lose you either. I don't want me to push me away. I want you to be there with me, I want you to be friends with Artie and with his wife. I want you to be there with me holding my hand because I love you. I want you to be with me even when I'm mad at you. I want you to be with me even when you're mad at me. I want you. I don't want the woman who looks like the love of my life but doesn't smile like she does, that doesn't use it to the full advantage when she wants something even though she knows they turn me into goo, and deflects our kids because she's afraid that she'll do something that breaks the façade. I don't want her. I want you."

"And I want to me again, losing my father changed me. I don't want to turn into the shell of a person who I used to be. When I was out there with the kids and Artie's wife I was laughing and it hurt so much because I wasn't laughing with you, because someone who wasn't you could make me forget about everything. I need to spend time with you because there were two people in my life who I trusted with my life, and now," I begin to sob slightly. "And now there's only one, you."

"And I'm not going anywhere." Brittany brings her lips to mine. I can instantaneously feel her warmth; the passion that was in her words is now behind this kiss. I can feel every crease of her soft lips, the flicker of her tongue against my own. I can feel everything.

I can finally feel something that isn't pain or grief. I can feel everything I'm supposed to; love. All because everything I needed was on the other side of that now open door.

"How do I look?" I ask nervously as I walk out of the master bath.

"Mom is going to love it." Lina gives me a smile to the one I see when I look into the mirror.

I was wearing a dress that Lina had picked out for me while she, Lily and I were shopping earlier that day. I had taken the day off to take the girls shopping after the talk I had had with Brittany yesterday because I knew it was time for things to back to the way they were, to normal.

"Are you sure? I never would have picked this dress." I stand in front of the mirror, Lina gets up off the edge Brittany's and mine bed and stands next to me.

"I'm sure it's the right dress. Trust me about these things, I learnt from the best." She gives me a grin showing off her dimples as she leans into me slightly, wrapping her arm around my waist. "I missed you, Mami."

"I know, Catalina. I'm sorry." I pull her into a hug, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I'm really sorry, sweetie."

"It's not your fault, Mami. I just missed you that's all, I really don't know what I'd do without you and Ma." Lina pulls away slightly and gives me another smile. "And as I said this IS the dress. I'm sure of it."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop doubting it now. Thanks for doing this Cat."

"Not a problem, Ma. You and Mom deserve to go out for a change. Lily will keep us all in line, you know that, so don't worry about it."

"I know you guys better than that. The only thing I'll be worrying about it Nik and Tommy playing soccer in the basement and breaking something. Your brothers are like kindergarteners you know?"

"I know. We'll make them play outside." Catalina giggles.

"That's good to hear." I giggle with her.

"Now let's get out of here before you're late and Mom thinks you stood her up." Lina continues to laugh.

"I love you, Catalina." I pull my youngest child into a big bear hug.

"I love you too, Mami."

Brittany and I had just chosen a wine our favorite Italian place almost an hour from the house. We've been coming here since it opened when Lily started Jr. High. "So, I'm glad we talked yesterday." Brittany says simply letting her feelings known.

"Me too. I'm so thankful to have things back to normal, to feel normal." I say as Brittany takes my hand, rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb. "I felt like Quinn in our senior year, feeling so messed up that I couldn't be around normal people, feeling like everybody was slipping away. Thankfully, you pulled me back, put me into perspective, making me 'me' again. All I needed was you." I give the most genuine smile I've given in almost three weeks, butterflies fluttering around in my stomach like the night I first kissed her at Puck's party. I haven't felt this good in weeks.

"Everybody's different. You felt like everyone was slipping away and you pushed people away like I used to instead of dealing with your problems. I remember when my grandfather died, my dad, you know my dad, my dad was a complete mess, he was worse than Quinn, Santana. Remember he couldn't even look at Ashley, he barely could look at me. But he got over it, do you know why?"

I look at her curiously, "Why Britt?"

"Because my mother got over her fear of bringing up my grandfather's death and help my Dad. I got over my fear of bringing up what happened and now you're okay, we're okay." Brittany kisses the back of my hand.

"We're okay." I give her another smile.

"Now we can talk about things, like the kids. Can you believe that Lily graduates at the end of this year? We have nine months until she goes off to college and goes off to live in a dorm with a roommate she hopefully won't hate."

"I know. Let's just hope that she doesn't have the same experience my cousin. Her roommate listened to really crummy music and always smelt like cheese, which made her room smell like cheese and her clothes. It was gross when she came home remember? It was," I don't get to say anything more as I am cut off by Brittany placing a finger to my lips.

"You're cute when you ramble." She gives me a classic Brittany grin.

"You're just cute in general." I say coolly, trying to keep the mood playful.

"Oh really?" She raises her eyebrow cockily.

I grin before pulling her in for a quick yet meaningful kiss. "Really." I say placing my forehead against Brittany's. "Now what were we discussing?"

"Our miraculously amazing children, and how your cousin's college roommate smelt like cheese." Brittany pulls away slowly with hearty laugh.

"Ah, yes that." I giggle.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you Lina had a swim meet on Friday night and Nik has a soccer game the same time. What are we going to do, do like we always do and one of us go to the soccer game and one of us go to the swim meet, or are we going to do something different?"

"Now that's a tough one, its Lina's first meet since we've been home and I missed Nik's game last week,"

"You knew about that?" Brittany's voice is filled with curiosity and shock.

"I knew, and that's part of the reason why I felt so bad, because I couldn't bring myself to go because I didn't want him to see me so broken. I couldn't let him see me like that because every time I look at him I see you. I used to hate being so vulnerable in front of you after everything we went through but you would always comfort me and tell me everything was going to be okay, making me feel safe. I'm so sorry. I just couldn't let him see me like that." Tears are starting to form in my eyes.

"There's no need for you to apologize. I understand and it's okay for you to have felt that way. And now you understand so we can move on, together." She gives me a wide grin.

"I know, I know. I just feel the need to apologize even though I don't necessarily need too. But what I was trying to say was I'm going to Nik's game, I went shopping with the girls today and he deserves to spend time with me too. I think I'm going to take Tommy out to that record store he likes on East 5th tomorrow and go out for coffee. He definitely got his caffeine fix from you, you know." I chuckle.

"Says the woman who drank three cups of coffee in one hour then proceeded to finish what I had left in mine while I wasn't looking." Brittany rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"You love me for it." I chuckle.

"Eh, I guess I do." She shrugs her shoulders. I hit her on the arm playfully, narrowing my eyes. "You know I do."

We don't get to say anything more as a loud commotion erupts at the opposite end of the restaurant. "Cam! Cam, wake up!" A woman's pleading voice echoes through the room.

Our usual waiter rushes around a corner and approaches our table. "Dr. Lopez, we need some help. Please hurry."

I give Brittany a look before swiftly getting up out of our booth. She is quickly on my heels. "Somebody help him, please!" The woman's plea once again echoes of the restaurant walls, filling the room. If not for her cries you would be able to hear a pin drop.

As we approach the scene I can't help the look of shock that forms on my face. "Maggie?"