Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis? Not mine. Got that? Great.
A/N: I dedicate this chapter to Artic-Fox and KiTtEn18sMiLe. :D
I was feeling a little down, so this is what happened. This harbors some of my fears, not that I like publicizing such a thing. I just- (sighs) Let's just get on with it.
Warning: There will be OOCness due to circumstances invented by my imagination. Shounen-ai, people!
Here it is, the twenty-sixth chapter!
Chapter 26: Not all is well.
With the news of Ryoma and Kirihara dating now official, the teens were now usual witnesses to the younger's teasing, much to the older teen's chagrin. Though there were rare times that Kirihara would pull one off, making the younger teen blush and grow all shy like the former usually did.
Even with that, they, the couple, were also subjected to disgusted looks from some teens. They had failed to acknowledge at first the people who might not approve of their peculiar relationship. Sadly, some of them were Gakuto, Momo, Kaidoh, Reiji, Kamio, Mizuki, Wakato and Sengoku.
Ryoma was depressed to find out his two teammates were avoiding him because of his preference, but paid them no heed like the others. Kirihara, though, wasn't as disturbed as Ryoma was, but noticed the depressed mood the younger was in when they were alone. He knew something needed to be done before the younger male cracked under pressure.
"Ryoma." The said teen looked up from his assigned schoolwork to face his similarly busy boyfriend. "Yes, Akaya?" He asked; he was a little worried because of the older teen's dead serious tone he had used. "Let's talk." With that, they both pulled away from their own stack of papers and proceeded to the lush brown couch nearby. They were in one of the deeper parts of the library, which was rarely visited by their friends, so they had all the privacy they needed.
"What is this about?" Kirihara noticed the worry in the younger's voice. "It's about them." He knew the amber-eyed male knew he was talking about, the people who did not approve of and were disgusted at their relationship. "What about them?" The younger male blankly asked. The older teen let out a deep sigh before he made his boyfriend face him.
"I know that their opinions have affected you, and badly, might I add, but you can't let it get to you." He told the younger teen. "I know." Ryoma mumbled under his breath, as he stared at his lap again. "Look at me, Ryoma." The freshman did not move. "Please look at me, Ryoma." He repeated. This time, the younger moved.
"Do you remember what you told my parents when we finally told them that we were dating one-and-a-half years ago?" He knew it was the perfect memory for Ryoma to relate to. He remembered that day clearly in his mind. His parents were definitely against his relationship with the freshman at first simply because of issues of society, but after Ryoma's little speech, they were moved and let them be. Though they were clearly unpleased at first, they gradually grew to accept their relationship (in a very, very slow pace). He knew, though, that it wasn't most likely going to happen with the other teens.
"I never knew you could fall so deep, to let other people's opinions dictate your lifestyle. People think differently from each other and they influence one another, but it is up to you on how you act upon it. You are your own person. They are not your masters."
It was that very moment that he was reminded of his main reason why he fell for the cocky brat. He was called many things – cocky, bratty, arrogant, blunt and dense – but that was mostly because he chose to live his life as he sees it. His life was a battleground from the day he became the step-son of the ex-tennis pro and took up tennis. The younger teen before him had not only ignored but exceeded the expectations placed upon him, only because he turned their sneers, taunts, and insults to his drive.
Ryoma, on the other hand, was also deep in thought about what the green-eyed teen had said. He, too, remembered that day clearly. He had clearly told them how he lived his life, a moral of sorts. He grew up under pressure, both positive and negative. Remembering that day made him realize something he made himself never forget.
'I can never please everyone.'
He engraved that phrase deeply in his heart when he was still young. How could he have forgotten it in such a short length of time? 'I must be getting soft, letting their opinions affect me so much.' He thought as he looked at his boyfriend who still had a worried look on his face.
"It's okay to feel affected, Ryoma. They are your friends, after all." He raised a brow as he heard this. What was the older teen trying to say? "My point is that, you have closed yourself too much. You have let other people's thoughts bounce off for too long, that now you started to care, you're taking it badly." He was now confused, and he guessed his confusion showed when Kirihara sighed deeply once again.
"What I'm saying is that, you are forgetting to look at the bright side of things. You're focusing too much on what you have lost. Sure, you know that you can't please everyone, but you're starting to ignore the friends who stayed beside you, those who are currently worried about you."
He was surprised at what he had heard, but he knew it was the truth. He had been a fool to think he was doing it right, when he was obviously still falling short. "Thank you, Akaya." He whispered as he gave the older teen a real smile. "Anything for you, baka. You have people who accept you for who you are now." The older teen said as he wrapped an arm around his waist.
"You are not alone."
It was a short whisper before their lips met in a short but loving kiss. As they parted, Ryoma felt something wet going down his cheek. He lifted his hand to touch his cheek only to find out that they were tears, his tears. It had been a long time since he cried like that, but it wasn't any normal occasion anyway.
After a few seconds of contemplation, he cried, hard. He let all the built up stress and sadness in his heart flow out in his tears. He didn't know when exactly, but when he was finished crying and wiped away his tears, he was enclosed in his lover's embrace. "Feeling better now?" Kirihara softly asked. He nodded mutely, not trusting his voice at the moment.
They stayed there for a few more seconds before going back to their schoolwork, feeling better than before. What happened earlier was one of Kirihara's more open and encouraging side, which Ryoma was happy that only he could fall witness to. It was those times when he gets reminded of the main reason he fell for the childish junior.
The hot-tempered male had been often associated with the adjectives idiotic, childish, loud, brash and rude, but he was able to crack that cheeky mask that was so similar to his, minus the lack of emotion, being anti-social, and bluntness. The bratty junior had a knack for reading other people's moods and acting accordingly. Though, most often than not, he uses that skill to cheer up the people around him, or at least lessen the tension, with the childish persona he has.
Following that thought was a sudden pain felt in his heart, making him frown. Knowing the unique bright and warm aura that naturally surrounds Kirihara, which is in contrast with his dark and cold one, he gets the feeling that he's lacking in something. He thinks that the junior deserves someone better, someone more emotionally stable than someone like him who is terribly secretive and undoubtly destructive.
He unconsciously chewed on his bottom lip as he twirled his pen on his left hand.
Damn it! He hated it gets thoughts like that. He feels so insecure, making him doubt why the exuberant male even chose him. Even he himself knew how irritating his mask could get. He deeply admired the junior for putting up with him all this time and still loves him anyway. He never knew how the junior put up with him.
Ryoma started doodling on the blank paper before him, trying to keep himself busy as he is preoccupied with his thoughts.
Even if Ryoma thinks like that, he was absolutely thankful that Kirihara chose him. 'Selfish.' He often thinks. To him, he doesn't know what kind of life he would be leading if it weren't for that strong-minded junior that supported him in the random times he had broken down, a proof of his weak emotional stability that had developed since childhood.
He had led a double life. His first life in this world bore a horrible secret of murdering his very own step-mother, who loved him deeply and vice versa. It was even witnessed by his blood father and step-sisters, not the best audience at all. Even with that, they forgave him easily. The only punishment he received was not being able to remain in contact with his sisters, whom he also dearly loved.
His current life was more pressured, expectations being thrown at him once they found out he was Nanjirou's son – step-son but most people didn't know that, even with their lack of resemblance. (He really wondered where he and his brother even got their black hair, the tint only caused by long sunny days spent outside. His brother had been the same.) He merely played for the thrill of the challenge, the want to grow and meet stronger players.
Behind the cocky nature, his darker side lurked. The inner sadist in him had been awakened by his brother's constant attention-seeking, which grew to a sense of masochism. In his defense, simple words did not go through his brother's thick skull. His fists had gone through though, not literally, but it only lasted so long.
In short, he was one seriously fucked-up freshman.
In addition to being homosexual, his life couldn't get anymore crazier as it is. He fell for, and was dating, the hot-tempered Junior Ace of Rikkai dai. His self-proclaimed sister seemed to have a split personality, one being a more violent female version of Tezuka and the other being a complete hardcore anime otaku. His maid was a cosplayer, which he rated to be already in the ranks of being a professional.
Lastly, his friends which were majority if not all of his guests (though he'll never admit it verbally) usually acted like they either were high on crack or simply insane, even the more level-headed ones. No one completely sane could last with their sanity intact with them, but this only leads him to think about his own sanity.
He knew he was not sane, but insane? That he wondered.
'But that's for another day.' Ryoma told himself as he stopped whatever he was doing. He glanced down at the once blank paper to see that the random doodles he had done turned out to be a shocking drawing of that night, but only the setting. He had drawn the lake, complete with the red spider lilies and the small boulders near its banks.
Ryoma froze as he tried to register what he had drew, shock and disbelief coiling around him mind. 'This couldn't be happening to me again.' He thought in fear of what might happen. The memories of his previous episode never left his mind. No matter how many times his mother had tried to console him, he could never accept it. He then did the only thing he knew he could do.
He cried.
A/N: Ryoma is so lucky. I'm envious of what he has. (sighs) Writing this chapter is based a little of what I have gathered from people I knew, but most from my personal experience.
The little quote that Ryoma said is mine. I didn't copy it from anyone. It's sort of like my own view of things, you see. (insert-nervous-laugh-here)
Anyway, I hope I didn't make the characters too OOC. I might have been a little excited when I typed this so... Please tell me any typos and inconsistencies, even grammar mistakes (being the "Grammar Nazi" that I am).
Constructive criticism is appreciated in the form of private messages and/or reviews.