If We Could Only Turn Back Time

I had got up and was about to go downstairs to eat my breakfast. I had spent all of yesterday just sitting in my room refusing to leave, just sitting under the covers of my bed. I had to get up though today, I had to continue with my life somehow, I was a Malfoy, I didn't give up that easily. And Rose may had not told anyone, or hopefully she hadn't. If she had I was literally dead, secrets travelled round Hogwarts at the speed of light. I couldn't bear that. "Hey, Scorp." Al said happily to me. He didn't appear to know. I sighed in relief, as I realised.

"Hi Al." I replied, "You coming down for breakfast?"

"Yeah, sure just let me get up. Are you ok Scorp? I mean you didn't go on your morning run and where were you yesterday?" Al asked.

"Yeah, 'm fine, I was just tired and all from the party." I said, trying to keep my cool. I couldn't let him know anything was wrong.

"You sure?" Al said taking his shirt off. I stared at him feeling the same as I had yesterday. He was looking at me, but I couldn't look up into his eyes.

"Yeah. We need to be getting down." I said, walking down next to him. We walked in silence till we got to the Great Hall where a full English breakfast was set out.

"Food looks nice." He stated.

"Yeah, it does." I said, his attempt of making small talk not really working well; it shouldn't have been like that, we could normally talk so easily. We sat down on the Slytherin table and as I reached for the toast our bare skin meet. A warm feeling ran down my body and we looked into each other's eyes.

"Sorry." I muttered awkwardly.

"It's alright." He said, grabbing to get a piece of toast and passing it to me. "Are you sure that every thing's alright, you seem a bit distant, ever since the-" Al started. Rose came to sit down next to us before he could finish however.

"Hey guys." She said. Rose never came to sit with us. I wish she'd just go away.

"Oh, hi, I was just about to leave. See you." I said, getting up to go.

"No, Scorp, I wanted to speak to you." She said looking at me with concern, as she did yesterday.

"What?" Al asked; a look of utter confusion on his face.

"Just fuck off Al. Come on Scorp, let's go somewhere a bit more private." She suggested. I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of it so I just followed her, up the stairs and to the library where I spent a lot of my time, just reading books. We went to the farthest corner and sat down in the isolated library, everyone still eating breakfast clearly.

"What do you want Rose?" I asked annoyed at her.

"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. It was just a bit of a shock. I want you to know that I'm perfectly fine with you being gay. So will Al be." Rose rushed out.

"No." I managed to splutter out. What the hell was she thinking, telling Al? "You can't tell him."

"Why? He's your best friend. He'll be completely fine and he'll always support you. I do know my own cousin!" she exclaimed.

"I'm sorry but it's a little more complicated than that Rose." I said irritably, getting up and leaving the library but her reflexes were quick this time, grabbing my arm.

"And why would that be Scorpius?" she asked. I hated her using my full name. She was purposefully trying to wind me up.

"Let go of my arm." I growled at her.

"Not until you tell me why Al can't know. It's not like he'll tell everyone."

"You can be so stupid sometimes. The reason I can't tell him moron is that I fancy him. You try and work that one out." I shouted, a little louder than I should have. She let go of my arm the same look of shock filled her face that had the other day. Madam Pince came and told us to be quiet, but I just left, going down to the Common Room, my anger building up. I started kicking everything out of my way and went I got to the Dormitory I punched the wall as hard as I could and didn't stop punching it. No matter how bad it hurt, I just felt so crap. I wanted Al, I didn't want to be gay, I wanted a nice normal life with my best friend and not to have to think of him in any other way than that. I wanted to turn back time and stop the kiss. Stop the whole damn thing that had started all this.

But I couldn't. It was stuck this way. Noting that I could do. I got up and went downstairs to History of Magic which we had with the Hufflepuffs. I sat in my usual place next to Al. I didn't want him to think anything was up, unless Rose had already told him. I was hoping by some miracle that he didn't know. "Hey Al." I said to him getting my books out.

"Why you so late, what did Rose want?" he asked me, pushing a strand of his hair out of the way of his emerald eyes. They were filled with interest and concern for me. I felt my heart flutter as I looked at him.

"Oh, she just wanted to ask me about some potions homework. I reckon she's getting a bit stressed with all the OWLs coming up." I said.

He chuckled, "No way is Rose needing help with her homework. And from you. Seriously you can tell me if you want."

"No, it really just the homework. Nothing more. Come on Al, we've got to listen to Binns." I complained, trying to get of the subject.

"Where's the fun in that Scorp? Don't be a buzzkill. She fancies you!" Al said to me smirking.

"Shut up. And just because you can pass all your OWLs without trying doesn't mean everyone else can." I said. Rose fancy me, Al must have been out of his mind. But it meant he didn't know, or if he did he didn't want to bring it up. Either way I was happy for now at least.

"Touchy. Ok, we'll listen to Professor Borings." He sighed.

"You know Al, I think you may have just made up the shittest nickname ever. It's low, even for you." I said.

"Oh shut up Scorp. I thought you wanted to listen." He exclaimed. I shut up with that and started making notes as Al just sat back in his seat and closed his eyes. Binns didn't notice of course, he didn't notice anything he was far too busy saying his lecture on the Goblin Rebellion. It was so boring but I had to get all Outstandings. I was a Malfoy!

The double period finally ended and everyone rushed out of the class with pure relief that it was over. "Ah." Al moaned, "Freedom, I think I may have killed myself if I had to sit and listen to another minute of that. Don't you Scorp?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." I just replied preoccupied on what I was going to say next time I saw Rose which would be in Defence Against the Dark Arts after lunch.

"You sure you're ok Scorp? I mean you seem really quiet, I can talk to Rose if you want, I know she won't mind you breaking her heart."

"What? She doesn't like me and I don't like her! Stop being so immature." I complained. I wish he'd just shut up but I at the same time I was craving his lips to be back on mine.

"You are so naïve. She's fancied you since she first saw you Scorp. I thought she told you when you went to talk. But she's tough she won't care. I can't believe you've spent all these years not noticing!"

"What? She does? Honestly it was just about the homework. I swear down on your life." I said, slightly flattered that she fancied me (if it wasn't just Al winding me up). That must have been why she'd been so shocked when I told her. Fuck, this wasn't going well at all. First I like a boy whose straight then find out that his cousin fancies me…

"Oh, my life is it? I love how it's not your life. Anways, let's get some food, I'm hungry." I held my breath when he had said he loved, but I shouldn't have got my hopes up. Why did it have to be so hard keeping it all from him? I was so tempted just to blurt it all out but I was able to stop myself. I just had to come up with a comeback and quick. "Tell me something I don't know fat arse." I said.

He tried to look round at his arse, but found it impossible. I was laughing my head off at the sight before sounding hurt he asked, "Is my arse really that big Scorp?"

I took a good look at it; after all it was a good excuse. It sure was small and I did everything in my will power to stop myself from grabbing it and pulling him closer to kiss him… "No." I said, wondering if he'd noticed that I had taken so long. "I was only messing with you."

"Go on then Scorp, say it looks nice. You know you want to!" he said raising his eyebrows at me cheekily.

"Oh shut up Al!" I complained. It did look nice but I would never tell him that.

"Fine, be like that." Al huffed, we walked to the Great Hall in silence after that, I knew that he was only pretending to be annoyed but I decided just to give in.

"Ok, you win; your arse does like nice Al." I said, blushing deeply.

"Knew it." He smirked, "you're such a pushover."

I sat down next to him and Rose came running up to us. Al groaned, even though they were great friends she annoyed him and I felt like groaning too after our little chat in the library. "Hey guys!" she said.

"Hi. So what homework did you need help on?" Al asked suspiciously. Rose looked at me and I gave her a pleading look hoping that she'd understand.

"It was the potions one Al! I can't believe you don't trust me. It was the one about the uses of a bezoar." I said before Rose could get anything in edgeways.

"The one we did in first year?" Al asked.

"Yeah, I didn't get it when we did it either. But Scorp is coming to help me after Defence Against the Dark Arts, aren't you Scorp?" she said sweetly. Damn, sometimes I thought she should be in Slytherin, she could be really cunning.

"Of course." I replied smiling sweetly however much I wanted to kill her.

"Good." She said. I was never going to get out of this one.

"So, you going to sit down then?" Al asked impatiently, annoyed that it hadn't been anything more than the essay (or that's what he thought).

"No, I think I'll sit with my friends. See you boys in DADA." She said before leaving and when she was out of earshot Al sighed, "Good riddance." I just nodded in agreement.