Taking Sides

Al's POV

I woke up in a familiar room. My bedroom. I had the smallest bedroom in the house but it was definitely the nicest and cleanest. The walls were pale blue and there were Slytherin banners pinned up, then a collage of pictures of Scorp and I, laughing or playing Quidditch. I smiled fondly at them. I soon realised I was starving so I sat up but there was a huge aching pain in my stomach that hit as I did. Biting my lips I hobbled over to the full length mirror by the door of my bedroom to see myself looking weak with an extremely pale face and bruises running across my neck.

My brain suddenly snapped and I remembered what had happened on the last day of term. I remembered my parent's argument and the tight, firm grip of my brother's hand around my neck. I remembered the pain hitting me and it not stopping. I remembered the glint of satisfaction in my own brother's eyes as he inflicted the pain on me. I shuddered at the thought. The same brother who had said he loved me, that we'd always be together, who'd stood up for me so many times, who'd played with me in the forest when we were little. But that was then and this was now. After he went to Hogwarts he started to act different, he'd ignored my when I was sorted into Slytherin and been horrible about it, he'd made me want to commit suicide…

I moved my hand to touch the painful purple, swollen areas and wondered what day it was. Slowly, although it caused me much pain I walked down the stairs, both hands on the railing and making sure there wasn't much weight on my feet as I felt they might give in any minute. I walked down to the living room hoping that James wouldn't be anywhere in sight to see my father sitting and reading the Daily Prophet. "Al?" he exclaimed sounding almost shocked.

"Is Scorp ok?" I asked remembering my boyfriend and hoping that he'd be ok and James wouldn't have done anything to him.

"He's fine, don't worry. Are you ok Al? Does it hurt?" he asked.

"I'm fine. It hurts a bit but I should be ok." I said stood up, wishing to sit down but not being able to sit down and worry my dad, "where's James?"

"He and you're mum have gone to have some time out of here for a bit staying with Uncle Ron." Dad said smiling reassuringly but I could see in his eyes he didn't mean it.

"What, you mean you're splitting up?" I asked felling guilty and trying to stand up straight.

"No, of course we're not splitting up." dad said, "We just both think it's time for a bit of separation and James needs to calm down."

Dad was so bad at lying that I could always tell. "So how about Lily?"

"She's going to be staying with us for a while and with your mum and brother at the weekends. Do you need to talk to me about anything?"

Knowing it would be really awkward if I had to have a heart to heart with dad, I shook my head and told him, "I'm really tired. I'll go to my bedroom. But do you have anything to stop the pain?"

"Yes, if you go up to bed then I'll bring it to you." Dad said getting up and walking out to the hall. I did too, slowly making my way up the stairs. I went to my room and collapsed on my bed, when seconds later in came my dad. He had a small shot glass filled with a viscous green liquid. He handed it to me in silence and I drank as he awkwardly stood there.

When I finished the sweet serum I gave him the glass back and whispered, "Sorry."

Dad got down and kissed me gently on the forehead. "What for?"

"Everything. It's all my fault. If I wasn't in Slytherin, if I wasn't friends with Scorp, if I wasn't so bloody different, if I wasn't gay then none of this would happen. To be honest sometimes I think it would have been better if I hadn't been born!" I quietly said wanting to cry but no tears would come out.

Dad sat down on my bed and said, "Don't say that. None of this was your fault. I love you, your mum loves you, Lily loves you and Scorpius loves you. And deep down James does love you. But difficult situations can make people do bad things to each other. James is just confused right now. I'm completely on your side but you need to be patient with James, he's not as good at understanding things like you."

"But why if you love me have you never told me before now. I remember when I was a kid I didn't get a shred of attention. It felt as if I had to grow up by myself. I wanted to say something but you were too busy telling James of or making sure Lily was ok. And there were sometimes when I really needed someone, like when I was sorted into Slytherin. And when Uncle Ron started ignoring me, when everyone in the family, even you started to treat me different. Then when I came out I just thought my family might have been supportive of me for once, but they weren't. James treated me like vermin. I had no one to turn to. When I needed my family the most they all turned away. At the station when you were saying all those things to James. Yes they were for me but it's not as if anyone cares how I feel. I'm sick of no one caring about me. It's like whenever I can finally start to trust someone they give me a reason why I shouldn't. But just tell me, why you prefer James and Lily. Was it something I did because if it was I'm sorry?" I quietly said, feeling a bit better after getting it all off my chest.

Dad pushed a strand of hair from my face making me fell like five and not sixteen and replied, "Al. I love you. I have always loved you. And I'm sorry if it felt as if I was never there. You know what James is like getting in to shenanigans every five minutes and Lily constantly wanting your mother and my attention. They're both more open about their feelings; whereas you hid your emotions more so we couldn't tell if anything was up. I'm going to tell you the truth, when you were put in Slytherin I was proud albeit a little shocked after our conversation. I was glad though that you didn't like the attention you got because of me whereas James loved it. I wanted you to be yourself and I didn't want me preventing you. You're mum however was just shocked. But we still both loved you. We still love you. James still loves you. James is bad at understanding things but you need to be the one to forget this all and forgive him. You need to be the bigger man here."

"Dad, I'm tired of being expected to be the bigger man! Ever since we were really young I had to forgive him and what do I get out of it? Nothing. Why can't he apologise he's the older one?" I chocked out, my throat dry, yet the tears still not coming out.

"Al, you don't have to. It's just that he is your brother and you were the more forgiving one, he's extremely stubborn. I know it's hard but this is what family do. Fall out then make up." He said.

"I think it's a little more than a fall out! He made me want to kill myself then used an Unforgivable Curse on me because he doesn't like me being gay. They're called Unforgivable for a reason. He didn't even apologise for what he said to me before then everyone is on his bloody side. Why should I?" I said in a rage. I was always expected to be the one who forgive James, I was sick of it. He should have been put in Azkaban for using the Cruciatus Curse on me instead I'm asked to forgive him.

"I'm not saying what he did was right. And neither is your mum. We're not taking sides in this. It's just a bit complicated." Dad said, looking into my eyes. His were the same colour as mine and that of his mother.

"Don't treat me like a baby. You're implying it's my fault, I get it. But if you really loved me this would never have happened in the first place. I honestly hate this family! Everyone thinks it's all so bloody perfect but it's not. If you really loved me I'd never have felt so bad, or so alone. If you'd acknowledged me one bit and not just given all your attention to James and Lily maybe things would have been different. And don't use the excuse you didn't know that I was upset because I seemed fine! When James and Lily seem fine you still find the time for them."

"Al, please, I love you, always. I didn't realise-" He said tears filling his eyes but I felt no sympathy towards him.

"I'm tired dad. Go away." I stated defiantly stopping his bullshit, closing my eyes as I felt him move of my bed. I peered through them squinting and saw him with tears streaming down his cheek, looking at me as if he cared. Ha. Of course. But it was fine. I didn't need family, I'd run away. I'm not sure that Scorp's dad would be too happy if I came to stay with the Malfoys but I was sure that Scorp would find a way to somehow persuade them. As for my family they could all live together and play happy families without me. That way everyone got what they wanted. It seemed like a good plan to me. But not straight away, I needed to get my strength up first.