A/N: Yep. The world is ending. I actually updated! Ok, I know it's been like 3 years, and I totally suck for doing that lol. I got stuck so the story got shoved in my closet until I pulled it out yesterday, reread it, and proceeded to nearly strangle myself for just leaving off. Then I decided that it would be a better idea to just continue writing. So here it is! The long awaited Chapter 9~! Enjoy! :D

Artist's Alley:

Chapter 9

I hesitated outside of Deidara's room, my hand hovering over the doorway. I could not believe I was about to do this.

It was nearly three in the morning. I'd spent a lot of the day in my room, replaying the words I had read on that website over and over again. All I could think about was that Deidara was a killer. I didn't know who he had killed, or how many, but he had killed. He was a murderer. He might have changed, but there was no way of knowing if he might do it again. What if he was a psychopath? I remembered Mitsuki had once had an obsession with criminals, and she'd even thought about going into law enforcement because of it. She had talked about people who were psychopaths: people who seemed perfectly normal, but in reality they were cold and unfeeling, who manipulated and hurt people just for fun. What if Deidara was like that?

I shook my head at that though, knowing I was being completely stupid. Sure, Deidara might have killed people, but that didn't make him a psychopath. And it was in the past. Maybe he really regretted what he had done and that was why he'd turned himself in. Standing from my bed and stretching, I glanced at my shut door. Maybe I should try to talk to him about it after all. I didn't exactly relish the idea, but it seemed better than sitting around moping and freaking out. Making up my mind that I was going to do it, I marched out into the hallway with determination. Deidara was sitting on the couch watching the news with mild interest. He glanced at me as I came in. "You've emerged, un?" he said.

As soon as I saw him, I lost all of my nerve. I looked at the floor, avoiding looking at him. "I-I was just getting a snack." I dashed into the kitchen, but I could feel his eyes boring into me the whole time and I knew he had to be suspicious that something was up. Doing my best to ignore him, I opened the pantry and grabbed a bag of chips. I was about to go back to the safety of my room when it happened.

I happened to glance at the TV as I walked past and I froze in place. On the screen was a disturbing image of the charred remains of what looked like a human body, and at the top of the screen was a picture of a woman I recognized with a sick lump in my throat. My ears immediately tuned to the news reporter. "The burned body which was found last night is believed to belong to Akane Hisakawa who went missing a few days ago," he was saying. "We are waiting on forensic scientists to confirm the identity."

"Sensei, i-isn't that..." I stammered, but I couldn't finish the sentence.

Deidara grunted and turned the TV off. "It's nothing important, un," he said.

Nothing important? His ex-girlfriend's dead body had just appeared on TV, and that was all he had to say? I couldn't believe it. Sure, they might have ended on a bad note, but to be that unperturbed by something like this? And then a horrible thought occurred to me. What if Deidara had...? I couldn't stand to finish the thought. But he had been really angry, and the reporter said she had gone missing a few days ago. That matched up with the time that Akane had abused me and Deidara had kicked her out. Could he really have?

"Kaya, are you alright, un?" I realized that I had been frozen in the same place for several minutes now. Deidara was standing beside me, looking at me in concern. He reached out to touch my arm and without even thinking, I jerked back. A look of surprise came over his face as he drew his hand back.

"I-I'm fine," I said quickly. "I'm sorry. I-I need to lie down." Before he could stop me, I ran to my room and shut the door, locking it behind me. I waited anxiously for a few moments, wondering if he would follow me, but I heard no footsteps coming down the hallway so I sat down on my bed.

My worst fears had come true. There was no way to know for certain if Deidara was the one who had killed Akane, but the evidence seemed overwhelming. And he didn't seem to be bothered by it at all. I didn't know who I had fallen in love with, but it certainly wasn't this cold-hearted murderer.

I decided there was only one thing to do. I was going to run away again. The only problem was that I still needed money for the bus since this trip required me to go all the way back to my hometown. And that meant I was going to have to steal from Deidara... If I was smart, I would have snuck into his room while he was locked up in the basement for seven hours. I doubt he would have noticed, and he definitely wouldn't have heard over all of the explosions. But, as I've proven many times before, intelligence is not exactly my strong point. And here I was about to prove it again by sneaking into the room of a sleeping ex-gang member and cold-blooded killer. If he caught me, there was no telling what he might do.

So, at about two o' clock, Deidara had finally come up from the basement and gone to bed. I'd waited for about an hour, just to make sure he was really asleep, and then crept to his room, ready to do what might be the dumbest thing I had ever done before. I took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. The door opened with a loud creak. I cringed, hoping Deidara wouldn't wake up. He didn't move, and I breathed a sigh of relief and tiptoed inside. I wasn't really sure where to look for the money, and it was even harder since it was dark. Heart pounding, I started looking around, checking on top of dressers and in drawers, praying to kami-sama the whole time that he wouldn't wake up. After about ten minutes of shuffling through his things (including his underwear drawer, which completely horrified me; he would definitely never let that one go if he caught me), I'd had no luck. There was only one place left to check: the bedside table.

I crept over to it, and could have smacked myself for not checking there in the first place. His wallet was right on top of it. As quietly as I could, I opened it and peered at the bills inside, holding it up to the window so I could see. I pulled out enough for a one way trip, but that made me pause. Maybe I should take enough for two trips...I thought about it for a moment, but I realized with a pang that I couldn't imagine staying with him anymore, knowing what I now knew. I took out enough for one trip and put the wallet back, folding the bills and stuffing them into my pocket. If only Keito had never told me, everything would be okay.

I glanced at Deidara's sleeping face, illuminated by a pale streak of moonlight. Standing so close, I could hear his breathing, deep and even, and I wondered if he ever dreamed about me like I did of him. Tears started to well up in my eyes as I stared at his beautiful face. I would never see that face again. "Goodbye, Sensei," I whispered. Then, choking back a sob, I turned and hurried out of the room.

Half an hour later, I waited at the bus stop feeling a weird sense of nostalgia. It had been almost a month since I had last been to this bus stop. Now I was here again, only this time I was leaving instead of arriving. After I had been there for about 20 minutes, the bus pulled up. I paused once more as I stepped onto it. This was my last chance to turn back. I cast one last glance down the dark empty street and then I handed the bus driver my money and made my way to a seat in the back.

So early in the morning there were only a couple of other passengers, so it was pretty much empty. I leaned my forehead against the window and watched as the bus pulled away, forever leaving behind the person I loved. The tears started to come again, and this time I didn't try to stop them. I cried for about ten minutes, angrily cursing Keito for telling me the truth. If it hadn't been for him, I could have continued living with Deidara. That saying 'ignorance is bliss' really was true. How could I continue living with Deidara now, knowing that he was a murderer? Really deep down, I knew I was being unreasonable. It wasn't Keito's fault. He had only been trying to help, and I probably would have found out eventually anyway. But I wanted to blame someone for ruining my life, and Keito seemed like the best candidate at that moment.

When I finally stopped crying, I realized that I was completely exhausted. Leaning my head against the back of the seat, I somehow managed to doze off. I slept for most of the trip, and when I woke up, it was daylight outside and I was only one stop away from the place I needed to get off. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, lightly slapping my cheeks in an attempt to wake myself up. A short while later, the bus pulled up to my stop and I grabbed my backpack and climbed off. It was very strange, seeing my hometown again. Even though I had only been gone for a few weeks, it seemed like an eternity. I wondered if I should go home first, but my parents might not let me out of their sight again once I came back, so I decided I would go visit Kiyo first.

I walked down the street, heading for the hill I had visited so many times since I was eight years old. On that hill was a small cemetery, and at the top lay my destination. I came to the familiar headstone and took a seat in front of it. Wishing I had brought an offering, I read over the words engraved on it: 'Beloved daughter and sister, Nakashima Kiyo.'

"Hello, Kiyo," I said. "It's been awhile." A soft breeze blew and I closed my eyes, imagining that it was my beloved sister's gentle embrace. I could almost sense her presence, and suddenly I started to cry again.

"Kiyo," I sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to fulfill our dream, I really did, but I just...Kiyo how can I stay with him? He's a killer, Kiyo. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I love him, but I just...I wish you were here. I wish you could tell me what to do." I laid my face against the headstone. Its coolness on my cheek soothed me, and after awhile my tears ceased and I began to feel calmer. I wasn't alone, not really. My sister might not be here in this world, but I knew that she was watching over me, and she would always care about me. Thinking that, I felt comforted. I stayed there for awhile, listening to the wind rustling through the trees and the birds chirping. I almost wished I could stay there forever, feeling close to Kiyo, but I knew that I couldn't. Now it was time to go see my parents. I stood up and turned around.

"Hello, un." Deidara stood behind me, leaning against a tree. I was shocked.

"S-sensei," I stammered.

"Is this your sister, un?" he asked. His voice was tender as he nodded toward the headstone. I nodded. He walked over to it and silently paid his respects. Then he turned back to me. "If you wanted to be alone, you could have just told me, un. I wouldn't have minded giving you the money."

A wave of guilt suddenly washed over me. What had I been thinking? Deidara wasn't any different than he had been before I knew about his past. How could I have been so cruel to just leave without even saying anything? "I'm sorry," I mumbled. Then, a horrible realization came to me. "How long were you here?" I asked. Had he heard what I said about him? If so...

"I heard everything, un," he said, and I felt my heart sink. There was a long silence between us.

Finally, I couldn't bare it any longer. "Sensei, I'm sorry," I said again. "It was such a shock, and I didn't know what to think or what to do."

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "You could have talked to me, un," he said. His voice was hard and now I was afraid that he might never forgive me.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, because it was the only thing I knew how to say.

He let out a long sigh and sat down against the tree. "How did you find out, un?"

I started to tell him about Keito, but I stopped myself, remembering what had happened to Akane. I felt bad about what I had done, but that didn't mean I could just trust him right away. After all, I had only known him for a few weeks. I really didn't know him at all. "I stumbled across it on the internet," I said instead. It wasn't completely a lie, and I hoped he wouldn't see straight through me.

"I see, un." There was yet another pause, and then he stood up and faced me. His face was stern. "I'll be honest with you, un. I have a dark history. I have killed several people, and there is very little room for regret in me. If you no longer want to stay with me, I understand, un. The decision is up to you. You need not fear that I will do anything to try to stop you."

So that confirmed it. He admitted that he had killed people, and not only that, but he didn't regret it. Whatever reason he'd had for turning himself in, guilt was not it. I still wasn't sure if I could look at him the same way now that I knew, and what hurt me even more than the knowledge of what he had done was that he would not try to stop me at all. I can't explain why, but those words stung me more than anything because I wanted him to stop me, I wanted him to make me stay. I wanted him to want me. But apparently, I didn't mean that much to him. He didn't care enough to even lift a finger to make me stay with him. That was all I meant to him.

"I want to go home," I said. "My real home, with my parents."