Chapter Sixteen
Restart: Part IV
Jo made her way across Main Street and breathed in the sweet air of the real world. It was good to be home.
She stopped to put in an order at Vincent's temporary set-up for Café Diem. In the month since the restaurant had been destroyed, they'd done quite a bit of work on it. In fact, Zimmer couldn't start fixing up her house again until they finished with the Café sometime next week. She was currently still staying with Carter but wondered if she should make other arrangements now that the crew had returned. Even before the accident, Carter had given her the heads up about asking Allison and the kids to move in with him and S.A.R.A.H. He assured her he wouldn't be kicking her out right away but it was going to be a full house.
And the things that had gone down in the Matrix would make it pretty awkward; for her and Allison especially.
The situation put her in a bit of a bind. She was back in the same position as when Larry first destroyed her house. Staying with Fargo was out, although now for very different reasons. He would probably want his space to mourn Holly. Notwithstanding that concern, they were complete opposites and would likely kill each other within a week.
Grace and Henry had their own thing going on as well. If Grace's demeanor since their return was any indication, their reunion meant coming to terms with how to move forward. Henry had to deal with all of the conflicted emotions Beverly had stirred up. Grace had to deal with who her husband turned into inside the program—and what she'd had to do to stop him.
And Zane? Well, maybe. That idea was very tempting but also very, very scary. There was nothing she'd enjoy more than curling up with him for a while just the two of them. But that would mean something significant, right? She wasn't sure they were ready for that. They'd both been so worried for the other during the last few hours and so relieved and happy to be reunited. But when the adrenaline wore off, would he still want her as much as she'd come to hope for?
Then there was the whole 'walkabout' situation. She'd obviously stepped back into her old position at GD and there was every indication that she'd be offered it back on a non-emergency basis. Is that what she wanted? The reasons for leaving had been very real and were important to her at the time. But so much had changed in such a short amount of time. She'd seen and experienced things that had likely changed her perspective about, well, everything. Her decision to leave felt like a lifetime ago. It had been a big decision, though, and it deserved some honest reflection and resolution before she even thought about going forward with Zane and her life in Eureka.
Speaking of Zane, she spotted him sitting at a table in front of the Café's construction zone. Their eyes met briefly and even from this distance, she saw him smile at her. What that grin could do to her insides. It was embarrassing.
She also noticed Carter and Allison sitting with the kids at the table next to him and she signaled to the waitress that she'd be right back for her order. Walking over to her temporary roommates, she was delighted to see the joy from everyone at the table. Of course, Carter had been worried, but she'd seen how upset Kevin was as well. He and Jenna both looked over the moon to have their mom back, even if Kevin was balking at Allison's coddling in typical teenager fashion. Carter had done a good job taking them in his care; everyone was glad that it hadn't been made permanent though. The prospect of those kids being orphaned was horrifying and was another reason to condemn Beverly and the Consortium.
"So how is the happy, reunited family," she asked the group.
Allison, with Jenna on her lap, looked up at Jo and smiled. "We're happy. Thanks to you." Jo returned her smile and reached down to tickle Jenna. Her giggles as she tried to get away from Jo's attack made the whole group laugh.
"How are you doing?" Carter asked. He accompanied his question with a casual brush of his hand against arm. Jo jumped at the contact, shoving Carter's arm from her and backing away.
She hadn't meant such an extreme reaction. His gesture wasn't even that intimate but it still freaked her out, the idea of the two of them together. Her mind flashed back to the walk through the woods in the Matrix Eureka where, in front of Zane, she had to endure the touches and overt familiarity of the virtual Carter. The Astraeus crew members weren't the only ones that would need to adjust back to reality.
For now, the way she was hovering behind Allison's shoulder, it looked almost like she was hiding from Carter. It actually made Allison laugh even harder. Jo thought to be annoyed but she was just glad that her friend didn't seem to be holding a grudge against her anymore.
"You know what?" Jo said. "I got drinks coming up and I'm gonna go take care of that." She pointed towards Vincent's mobile Café Diem truck but was actually walking in the opposite direction to where Zane was sitting. "Carry on," she added, waving. Allison was still laughing. Carter, on the other hand, wore an expression of utter confusion. Jo rushed over to Zane not wanting to have anything to do with explaining their Matrix relationship to him. It was for his own good; some stuff is best kept to oneself—especially those disturbing things you could never un-know.
When she arrived at Zane's table, he was chuckling too at what had just transpired. "So, that was smooth." She glared at him but sat down anyway.
"Still feeling limp," she shot back with a raised eyebrow.
Zane's grin faded. "He said he wouldn't say anything. Damnit Carter!" Jo was the one laughing this time. Leaning forward, Zane's eyes shot daggers to the head of an oblivious sheriff. Jo turned as well, in time to catch Allison's admonishing expression over Zane's open hostility. Thankfully, Carter's back was to him. Zane relented but was still frowning.
"You know you're going to have to let that go at some point." She understood his lingering anger towards Carter, really, she did. Terminator Carter had been a pain in Zane's ass even before he started threatening and killing people. He had plenty of reasons to resent that particular NPC which is probably why he'd been so nonchalant about shooting him. But they were back in the real world and that meant putting effort into the healing process. The Jack Carter here wasn't the bad guy. He had helped save them and didn't deserve Zane's or anyone else's hatred or fear.
"I know." Zane sighed and returned his attention to her. "But not today."
She reached over and stroked his cheek, feeling a smile return to his face. "Fair enough." It would take some time—and in Zane's case, lots of patience.
Jo watched his focus divert to something in the distance and tracked his gaze to Fargo walking alone by the bronzed Archimedes statue. He looked defeated and so lost. After they all were released from the infirmary, Fargo said that he wanted to be alone. It might be that he'd changed his mind but more than likely, he didn't know what he needed right now. Who would?
In silent agreement, they stood and headed in his direction.
On the way, they stopped to pick up the Vincespressos waiting for them in the window and noticed Deputy Andy standing close by with his own melancholy expression. Jo smiled at him as they approached, however, she noticed Zane had moved a little closer and slightly in front of her as if in protection-mode. It was an annoying gesture, one that he should know better than to use with her, but she let it slide.
"Hey Andy. Is something wrong?"
Andy gave her his usual enthusiastic smile that she'd finally stopped finding creepy. "Hey Jo!" he called out with a cheerful wave. "Mr. Donovan," he added, registering Zane's chilly reception. He looked back and forth between them and decided to focus on Jo. "Uh, can I ask you something?" Jo nodded at Andy who glanced between her and Zane again for a moment. "I just don't understand. Everyone in the crew seems to be afraid of me. Did I do something wrong?"
Jo hesitated and considered how much she should tell Andy, if anything, about what the simulated version of him did in Eureka. Would she want to know if she were him? Maybe. Or maybe not. It's not like it would make him feel any better knowing. It was certainly the reason why no one had mentioned to Carter or Henry what they had been up to in the Matrix.
"No, Andy. You," she emphasized for Zane's benefit, "didn't do anything wrong. I think it'll pass. Sometimes it takes people a while to adjust to reality."
"Oh, ok," he responded, skeptical.
Jo nudged Zane in the arm. He scowled, unhappy about what she wanted from him. He rolled his eyes and relaxed his tense shoulders. "Yeah Andy, it'll pass. People are just still freaked out is all." Clearly, hearing that from Zane went a long way with the robot deputy judging by his excitement.
Jo watched as Fargo sat on the bench, shoulders slumped and with a dark cloud hanging over his head. This situation was as hard on him as they'd both feared.
"Can you excuse us Andy?" The deputy agreed and she pulled Zane along towards Fargo.
"Thanks for that." Zane shrugged and kept walking. "Seriously, Zane. It was really nice … and it wasn't so hard, was it?" He shrugged again but she picked up the slight grin at her assessment of the situation. Today was difficult but she would never stop challenging him to be the best he could be rather than the negative jackass he thought others expected of him.
Speaking of challenging predicaments, she suddenly stopped them before crossing to where Fargo sat. "Hey, can I talk to you about something really quick."
"Sure. What's going on, JoJo?"
Smiling at his old nickname for her, she tried to focus on how she was going to explain what had just popped into her mind. "I know we said we weren't going to talk about it today but it's about the Matrix program." He remained silent but did look curious about why she would bring that up now. "After you guys disappeared and before I woke up in Henry's garage, I saw something. Something strange."
Shaking his head, Zane crossed his arms in front of him, tension written all over his face. "I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about that. Jo, I was scared out of my mind for you earlier. I'm not interested in walking down memory lane just yet. And I'm not looking forward to it when I know I'll have to."
She reached out to calm him with soothing strokes along his arm. "I understand that and I wouldn't bring it up unless it were important. What I saw is so impossible, I'm afraid to even mention it or else you guys might think I'm crazy."
Zane frowned. "This sounds serious. And now you've piqued my interest. I assumed Beverly got you out at the last second and you just woke up in the garage."
"Well, she must have but … I can't say for certain." She licked her lips and stalled for time while she organized her thoughts. "I remember the program coming apart around me. I blacked out for a moment and then I woke up again in an exact replica of Eureka, except deserted."
Zane's brow furrowed as he thought about a potential explanation. "I suppose it's possible that your mind conjured up some kind of coping scenario to explain the overload and trauma to the sensory part of your brain. I'm sure Grace would have a better explanation for it." He pointed back towards the area from which they'd come. "She's back at the Café if you want to go—"
"No, that's not all," she interrupted. "When I say I woke up in Eureka, I mean, I woke up the same way I did inside the Matrix when I found you. It felt as real to me as being in there, almost as real as standing here with you." Zane dropped his arms and planted them on his hips instead. She hesitated before she dropped the biggest bombshell. "I wasn't alone. Holly was there—or some form of her."
He smirked, a little too condescending for Jo's taste. "Are you saying you saw a white light? Did the ghosts of your friends and loved ones meet you at the Pearly Gates? Jo, come on."
She ceased her stroking and hit him on the arm; hard. "That's not funny. Not remotely. And I'll only say this once: you're free to have your beliefs and opinions about religion and God and the existence of the universe. But the second you disrespect mine is the second we're going to have a major problem."
His eyes softened, realizing that she was dead serious and that he had crossed a line with her. Given the intensity of the last few hours, it was easy to forget that they were still learning when it came to whatever it is that they were to each other. "Fine. Got it. So if that's not it then what are you trying to tell me?"
He didn't look particularly apologetic but it's not like Jo was surprised by his attitude. "If you can put aside your snarking, what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm concerned about whether we really shut down the Matrix. And I'm concerned about whether or not some part of Holly's consciousness is trapped in it."
"What!" Her hypothesis was not what he had expected to hear. "That's …"
"I know it sounds crazy. But she was there. I talked to her. I felt her." Zane narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. You know what I mean. The point is, before I was pulled back here, for a few minutes there was some kind of virtual world that existed where Holly was still alive. I can't explain it." She turned towards their friend sitting a few feet away. "And I don't know how to even try to with Fargo."
Zane remained in place, deep in thought. He didn't need to ask her if she was sure. He knew her well enough to understand that she wouldn't have mentioned it if she wasn't. Finally, he shook his head. "I don't have any explanation for it. Maybe it was another program glitch or even a whole different virtual program that Beverly created. It's not like we've ever really understand her true intentions."
"That's what I thought too. She originally wanted Henry to go into the program so it could have been her plan all along to trap the both of them. Instead, she trapped me along with Holly. But then she lets me go?"
"That seems like a stretch. And its a huge gamble for her, to what ends?" He was silent once again. "If it truly was Holly that you saw, maybe there's some backup system in the mainframe? Like when a program crashes on your computer and it recovers your file as a backup." His eyes started moving rapidly as he made a series of mental connections with this theory. "If we booted it back up, maybe some remnant or cached model of her that you saw would show up as well."
"Remnant? What does that even mean? My team recovered her physical body this morning. She's dead, right? But the woman I talked to? It was Holly. She wasn't an echo or a ghost. It was her. And she remembered everything up until the point she was 'ejected' it seemed."
"The truth is we have no idea what we're dealing with when it comes to this technology. Jo, I don't have any answers for you right now." He ran his fingers through his hair and she could see the signs of his weariness quite clearly now. "Let's talk to Grace about it next week. Maybe she'll have some ideas. The pieces of the mainframe won't be here until tomorrow and it'll be a while after that before we can catalogue and examine what we've got." He turned towards Fargo too and sighed. "Until then, let's keep this to ourselves. I can't see Fargo taking it well right now and I don't think we should even mention it unless we've got more information than we do now."
Jo put her arm around his waist and pulled him towards her. "Thanks."
He kissed her on the forehead. "Don't mention it. But no more Matrix talk today, okay?"
She let him go and took tentative steps towards Fargo. "I promise." Zane followed close behind.
They approached their grieving friend and stopped at a respectful distance, unsure of whether he would welcome their company. He looked up, not having even noticed their arrival or anything else around him it seemed.
"Hey Fargo," Jo said. Although he had acknowledged their presence, nothing else about his demeanor indicated that he wanted to talk.
With his back to them, he said, "You lied to me. Both of you."
Jo paused, not knowing quite what to say to make things better. She had expected some resentment but hadn't prepared herself for the reality of it. "I know it's not a good excuse but I was trying to protect you; at least until we got back."
Zane took a step forward towards him. "We're sorry for that, Fargo. Truly."
Jo nodded, and then realized that he wouldn't be able to see with his back still towards her. Instead, she moved to his side and took a seat beside him on the bench. She understood he was hurting but she was his friend. She wouldn't let him grieve alone, even if he was going to be mad at her in the process. She didn't know what else to say though so she just sat there with him.
When he did speak again, his words broke her heart. "But I couldn't protect her. Like how you and Zane protected each other."
Zane put a hand on Fargo's shoulder. "I know. You couldn't have protected her and that's worse. None of us could." Zane shared a quick, uncomfortable exchange with Jo over Fargo's head. She couldn't hide the tears forming in her eyes. They had been so close the first time. If they'd been only a little quicker would it have made a difference for Holly? They'll never get that answer. Jo knew from years of losing people that she shouldn't even be trying.
Fargo finally looked up meeting Jo's eyes and he allowed her to see the extent of his love for Holly and his misery over her loss. He had been trying to hold it in thinking that he was a leader and a logical scientist. However, this pain was too much for him. There was something about his need for absolution to which Jo could relate. The reality was that it was never satisfying; there was never much sense in this kind of tragedy. He would have to settle for the comforts of friendship and family and time.
She put a hand on his arm and the three of them stayed there together in silence. Each of them was focused on mourning but also wondering what could have been. Or in Zane and Jo's case, what might be.
After a good while had passed, Fargo took a deep breath and stood up, still tired but not as troubled as when they'd first spotted him. He turned and tried to smile at them but it came out as more of an awkward grimace instead.
"Hey, aren't you guys supposed to be somewhere having a ridiculous amount of sex or something?" Jo and Zane looked at each other and then back at him with a flustered bewilderment that did seem to lift Fargo's spirits a bit. "That's what you said, isn't it?"
Zane turned to Jo with a devilish expression. "I was a little out of it at the time, but that sounds about right. And he is the boss, babe," he leered at the woman next to him. Jo crossed her arms in a huff but a tiny smile snuck up across her lips.
This time, Fargo did flash them a genuine smile. This was normal. Not her dating Carter or fighting an evil Andy or Holly getting murdered in a virtual world. Fargo probably desperately needed normal right now. Zane antagonizing her with his innuendo would definitely do the trick in her book.
"See you guys," Fargo said turning to leave.
"Hey!" they both called out after him.
He waved them off. "I know, I know." He smiled weakly again and kept going. At this point in his relationship with both Jo and Zane, he knew they'd be there if he needed them.
Jo and Zane watched him go, with Zane taking a seat next to Jo and sneaking his arm around her. She placed a hand on his knee and relaxed in his arms.
"So … you game, JoJo?" She stared at him trying to decipher his odd request. "Our ridiculous sex romp? I'm game, so I'm wondering if you are too."
She nudged him with her shoulder and laughed. "I could be convinced," she teased, standing and taking his hand. "Now are you absolutely sure you're over your limpness because I'd hate to get all worked up over nothing."
Zane rolled his eyes but gave her arm a strong pull so that the momentum landed her back in his embrace. "I'll show you worked up." He leaned down and kissed her deeply, tongue immediately sweeping into her mouth to taste a hint of her Vincespresso. Jo had no incentive to resist him so she didn't even try. Pulling away he planted another quick kiss to her lips before letting her go and continuing their walk down Main Street. "I'm getting back at Carter for telling you that by the way."
"But not today," she echoed, reminding him of his earlier hesitation.
He grinned down at her. "No, today I'm all yours." She dropped his hand and put her arm around him instead.
Things between them were no less complicated than we she'd left before the Astraeus launch. There was still so much to work out, both old and new issues. But he was right; for the rest of the day, she only wanted him. Being together like this was a reward for believing in them. It was a gift she planned on cherishing for hours to come if he was up for it.
This was only the beginning of something better.
The End
AN: Thanks for seeing this story through. I always hope to sufficiently show my appreciation for your kind reviews and alerts and hits so I hope it doesn't get old. This story length more than doubled because of your feedback and I think became more interesting and exciting because of it too.
I started out meaning to tell a little 'what if' story and ended up taking chances to which I never thought I could do justice. Seeing what you responded to (or didn't) or just seeing you pop in to let me know you were entertained was really helpful. I'd read your reactions and see that folks were still reading and it gave me the confidence to be creative. Early on, I had dismissed the idea of bringing back Terminator Carter (he originally was never heard from after the incident in the woods) or having Zane go after Jo or Zane getting shot. Late in the process, I took a left turn by bringing in Holly. I'm sure some of my changes didn't work but I was challenged to think outside of the box and make certain things work.
As I've mentioned, I'm likely to do a follow-up to this but I don't like posting stories until I've written at least the basic framework (otherwise it takes me forever to finish). So it'll be a little bit, though not too, too long. I'm sad to see such a wonderful show ending so I'm sure I'll be hanging out in this world for a while to come.
And FYI, I'm actually a Mac user. I don't think I've control-alt-deleted in ages.