A/N:
So little reviews. Makes me sad, it does.
I know! –rummages around in toy box— If you don't review, I'll Fem!Seph on you all. And not the Fem!Seph from 'The Devil Wears High Heels', no, the really scary one from Fourth Time's the Charm that creeps the hell out of most of my readers (for some odd reason). Anywho, read and review my pretties, it makes me so very happy.
Please?
I'll use Zack's puppy eyes of doom if have to.
Any comments, reviews and the like are loved. I thrive off feedback.
Disclaimer: This was for fun, not for profit. I own nothing FF7 related….blah blah blah. To quote another writer: "These are not my characters, I'm just abusing them".
Summary: Gift for Meggurra: Sometimes, changing the past causes unexpected results. AU. Time travel fic. Young!Seph x AC!Cloud. m/m slash. Seph centric.
Words: 4,146
Rating: M
Cause and Effect
By Catsitta
Lesson Three: Cloud Strife is psychotic—enough said.
"What did you just say?"
Remembering Angeal's 'Honesty if the best policy' speech when it came to relationships, Sephiroth swallowed his newfound fear and his ever present pride.
"I merely stated that I found you attractive and wished to go on a date with you this evening," at some point amid his panic his ability to think before he spoke returned,"Such is the common way of courting the favor of someone…Isn't it?"
The deadly glow seemed to fade in seconds, returning the blond's eyes to their normal shade of blue. There was a new softness to Cloud's already gentle features, but also disbelief. He seemed…uncertain. Hurt, almost. As if he believed that this was some kind of game or cruel joke.
"I thought you better than this, Sephiroth," those words were dark but fragile…And why did the blond always call him by his first name, never General? "When I refused to mentor you, I thought you would put your attentions elsewhere, knowing that there was something else behind your request. Tell me that I am wrong. Tell me that you were not planning on manipulating me, should I become your mentor, into accepting your foolish attraction."
Sephiroth took in a stabilizing breath,"I honestly wanted nothing more than for you to teach me what I needed to know to become a good General. This…attraction of mine is a new development. Think nothing of it, Strife. I…I see now that my insight was clouded and…" And what? What did he say now? Cloud had all but said that he had no interest in his advances in either subject: education or romance.
Cloud's grip on the back of his neck loosened and soon the offending hand fell away.
"You acted on impulse," the First continued for him. Sephiroth bowed his head in shame and humiliation. Standing before him in this empty hallway, was the only person who could make him feel worthless with a word. Some tiny part inside of him wanted nothing more than to prove to the blond that he was worth his time and notice, that yes, one day he would be a great General, not just a good one.
A strong, calloused hand came to grip his jaw and he was forced to look into Cloud's furious eyes. Within in his mind, he whispered an apology, one that he could not find the strength to say aloud.
"Look at me, Sephiroth," the warrior demanded,"I refuse to believe that you would be as weak as to advert your gaze from mine. I am your subordinate. Look at me, stare me down. Never be the first to look away in a contest of wills or your enemies will tear you apart."
Sephiroth nodded, or at least he tried to, the blond's grip was like iron.
"Good. Now let me ask you this: Are you honestly willing to accept me as your mentor? I am not a kind taskmaster and will expect nothing less than your complete obedience in matters that involve your training. Failure to obey orders would result in punishment. As my student, you would be, in a sense, my subordinate. All control of matters involving your life, military and non, will be in my hands. I will decide what you eat, where you go, what missions you will accept, so on and so forth. No longer will have the power to act on your own free will and judgment. All decisions you make will be ones I have approved. Do I make myself clear? If those terms are not suitable, then I encourage you to walk away now and never ask me again."
A pause. Was Cloud actually giving him the chance to be his student or to walk away as if the conversation never happened? What happened to the whole 'I'm never going to mentor you' spiel? Did it really matter? The real question was: Was he really willing to place his well being into the blond's hands and lose what little freedom he gained by becoming General?
Hojo was overbearing and suffocating at best, and monstrous at his worst. Would Cloud be another Hojo, always prodding him to be better, faster, stronger…? Fear flooded the silver teen's body.
He felt the blond's grip relax and panic sent his mind racing. Cloud was taking his silence as a refusal. Reaching out, Sephiroth caught the arm that was beginning to withdraw.
"I have a question." Sephiroth squeaked, hoping the blond did not hear the sound of his racing heartbeat.
Cloud tilted his head but did not recoil from being touched,"Only one?"
"What about my attraction to you…and my request…"
The blond actually smirked at the question, "Your infatuation? Sephiroth, it is one of the reasons why I refused you as a student, though I neglected to mention such earlier. It will be best that you abandon your crush whether you do or do not accept my terms. I have reason to doubt our compatibility on many levels."
"What if it does not go away?"
"Then I guess I will have to assist you in resolving it. So no more poor attempts to ask me on dates. Now, answer my question or I will take this delay as a means of thinking of a refusal." Cloud replied nonchalantly.
"Yes. I accept your terms. I wish to become your student…" Sephiroth said quickly.
An odd expression formed on his new mentor's face.
"So impulsive…" The blond murmured.
Next thing Sephiroth knew he was dangling upside down from the ceiling of the First Class gym, his feet and arms bound with a length of bungee cord whose end was tied to the railing of the Observation Deck that protruded from the room's center to allow for optimal viewing. The tinted windows allowed for observers to remain unseen, but the rail lined 'deck' that was below, like a cage of sorts, was also available for those who wished to be seen.
Within the 'cage' stood Cloud, whom apparently knew the password to unlock the emergency exit gate (which was how he forced Sephiroth outside).
After a moment of watching his victim squirm and hearing him swear with protest, the blond climbed the ladder back up into the observation deck's main area, leaving the silver teen alone with his misery with a single order.
He was to free himself by any means he chose, then write an essay (its length unspecified) detailing how the exercise helped curb his reckless behavior. Needless to say, after a First Class Lieutenant heard his angry shouts and pulled him to safety (untying him only after the General calmed down), Sephiroth was ready to slaughter his new mentor. How dare he pounce on him, bind him and literally toss him out of the observation deck!
Storming towards Cloud's office, he realized that it was well past nine o'clock and the blond was likely in his room. For someone he half-stalked for three years, he came to recognize that he knew next to nothing about him. For instance, he had no fucking clue where Cloud lived. So, with a burning hatred, he stomped to his own quarters and released his frustration out in words.
When he woke the next morning to the sound of his alarm, Sephiroth realized two things. One, he had had fallen asleep at his desk, pen tightly gripped in one hand… And two, the six-page essay he used as a pillow was certainly not going to earn him any brownie points with Cloud. In the midst of his inner debate on whether to give the blond the slanderous rant or to shred the thing and start again, said blond walked into the room with a triumphant smirk on his face.
"Good morning, Sephiroth."
Startled, the silver General leapt from his chair, his heel catching on the edge of the seat, sending both him and it crashing to the floor in an ungainly heap.
"How…?" He began, utterly confused and angry by the fact that Cloud was in his apartment uninvited.
Cloud held up a card key,"As your mentor, I have access to your living quarters."
"OUT!" Sephiroth shouted as he untangled himself from the chair.
The blond shook his head an 'tsked'. Then, he strode over to the General and plucked him up by the back of his neck as one would a kitten before setting him on his feet. "No. Now, go clean yourself up, you have a long day ahead of you."
"What—?"
Cloud rolled his eyes and said,"Do not make me repeat myself, now go."
Stunned by the sudden change in the blond's demeanor, Sephiroth only stood there with a slack jawed expression on his face. "I am your mentor now and I clearly stated what that entailed. Every aspect of your day-to-day life is now my business. As this is a Saturday, you have work starting at seven and ending at noon. After which you are off duty but on call, like all other Firsts. It is my duty to make sure that you are on time and prepared for any and all assignments as well as train and further your education as I see fit. Now, we have wasted five minutes of our lives that did not need wasting. So, go take a shower and get dressed for work. I will be waiting in the living room until you are done."
Then, Cloud turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Sephiroth to wonder whom exactly the SOLDIER really was and if he had made a terrible mistake. But as he watched the man leave the room, he felt that familiar ache in his lower region. Despite what transgressed between them, the simple fact remained.
He was hopelessly obsessed with a man who he knew nothing about.
000X000
Dripping wet from his shower, Sephiroth grumbled complaints under his breath.
How he hated the knots his hair got and how impossible it was brush when it was wet. Fusing with the length for a good hour, he managed to get it dry and tangle free. He took but a moment to admire the way the silver locks fell in a seamless cascade down his back before heading into his bedroom with a towel about his waist…
At which point he could not but help to let out a yelp of distress.
"Strife!" Sephiroth whined, his composure shattered by the situation entirely. How in hell was he supposed to keep character when his walking fantasy was sitting on his bed reading…oh Gaia, his report! A deep blush settled onto the teen's cheeks as blue eyes rose to meet those of mako green. He was in so much trouble… But, was that a smirk? Cloud was smirking at him. No, he was laughing at him!
A pale hand muffled the chortles of amusement but the way the blond's eyes watered and grinned betrayed his laughter.
"What is Gaia's name is so hilarious? And why are you in my bedroom?" He tightened his death grip on the towel. "Get out so I can change."
"Ah, Sephiroth. You really must express yourself more often. This little tirade is quite…insightful." Cloud quipped with a giggle,"What did I do exactly to be deemed…hold on, let me make sure I get the exact words…" He flipped through a couple of the pages before grinning, "A fucking egotistical, batshit crazy bastard with authority issues and an unhealthy attachment to his own sword." He snickered, "I'll have you know that while I'm an egotistical, batshit crazy bastard with authority issues…I have, in no way, an unhealthy attachment to my sword. First Tsurugi is my baby and he deserves to be treated with upmost care and respect. If anyone were to hurt him I would turn them in a bloodied spot on the concrete that even the Turks could not identify."
Sephiroth just blinked.
"As for being in your bedroom, I believe that this is a perfect opportunity to solidify two things…" Cloud stated, that smirk remaining on his lips, "That, A, I'm your mentor and can be wherever I please…not as if you have anything I have not seen before, so do please feel free to change. And B, that, we have no potential of being in any way romantic due to our differences."
So, his mentor was being obnoxious on purpose. This was a game. Cloud was making sure Sephiroth knew his place in the new founded hierarchy as well as unnerving Sephiroth as much as possible.
"I can't change while you are here…" The teen admitted after a short and embarrassing pause.
Cloud arched his brows and shrugged, his eyes returning to the essay, "Imagine you're in the boy's shower room. Honestly, you act as if you have something to be ashamed of. So stop being a prissy little girl and put some clothes on. I'm not some pervert in for an eyeful. In a way, this exercise will help you get used to my presence."
"No, I can't change while YOU are in here." Sephiroth clarified, his whole body feeling flushed. Cloud was making heat pool in his lower belly and southwards and it was not a good thing. He was doing his best to think of something to cool the arousal but he only succeeded in making himself even more anxious. Every time he closed his eyes, the blond was there behind his eyelids, those blue eyes mocking him while at the same time offering silent invitation.
"Ah, I see." Cloud said airily, obviously ignoring the teen's complaints.
A sudden flicker of insanity or courage flashed through Sephiroth's veins. He was not sure which nor did he care. All he knew was that Cloud Strife did not know whom he was toying with or exactly how deep his obsession went with the blond. So, he set his expression into that of a determined one and dropped he towel.
000X000
Perhaps he should have known better. Perhaps he should have thought things through. There are a lot of 'maybes' in this world and this was one of those times where Sephiroth believed he should have thought of a few.
All he knew was that the events after baring himself to his obsession were a bit of a blur that never failed to remind him how he really had to think before he acted.
Cloud had looked up to see him padding closer, a determined gleam in his mako eyes. The General was sick of waiting, of being teased. It was either now or never, he had come to believe, and Gaia help him if he chose never. The blond was all he wanted, needed, desired. He was perfection incarnate. Cloud would be his and nothing would stop him…
And nothing did.
Shock appeared on the blond's face and he did not react in time to escape Sephiroth's grasp. The silver teen tangled his fingers into those blond spikes and crashed their mouths together in a kiss that was frankly more teeth than lip. However poor of a first kiss it was, Cloud did not seem to mind. He broke the awkward embrace, however, for a moment before pressing his lips much more delicately to Sephiroth's own.
It was wonderful. Soft, practically chaste. But Cloud had kissed him back…melted in his arms. Er, well, maybe not melted. Sephiroth felt like butter during the exchange and shook with anticipation. The blond did not reject him. Everything would be great, wonderful, complete… Or so his irrational mind assumed.
Next thing he knew, his own silver locks were being yanked a little too hard for pleasure and he thrown forcefully backwards, his head hitting the wall, stunning him for a moment. Before he could do anything, Cloud was…handcuffing him?
His face came to rest beside his ear, and Cloud's breathy whisper floated around his skull for hours afterwards,"Since you seem incapable of following a basic order, then I guess I will have to help you learn." Cloud gripped the chain between the two (SOLDIER-grade) cuffs and led Sephiroth forwards like a puppy. When they left the bedroom, the General found reason to panic.
"What the fuck?" He exclaimed in protest and began to struggle.
"Why Sephiroth, I thought you wished to go to work this way since you were ever so reluctant to get dressed." Cloud said with a sarcastic twist to his words. "As your mentor, I do question your choice in attire but…"
"Strife, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. Please do not make me go outside my apartment like this," Sephiroth begged, not caring if he sounded like the teenager he was. "I swear I won't do that again."
"You promise not to disobey orders again?" The blond inquired.
Sephiroth nodded vigorously. The cuffs snapped free and disappeared back into the blond's uniform.
"Alright then, now go get dressed. Otherwise, you will be late to work."
The silver teen turned on his heel and sped back into his bedroom, realizing only afterwards that he had made no promise to never kiss the SOLDIER again. Not that Cloud ever asked one of him.
000X000
In the weeks that followed the initial incident, neither Sephiroth nor Cloud brought up 'The Kiss'.
Busying himself with his new tasks as mentor, Cloud made the young General's life…odd. Yes, odd. That is the only word capable of describing the peculiarity of the routine he had the silver teen follow. Expecting rigorous training exercises much like his days as a project in Hojo's lab, Sephiroth was thrown for a loop when his practice time was cut down.
True, the mindless series of maneuvers was getting a bit droll, but it was familiar.
For some reason Cloud insisted that Sephiroth…socialize. Never one to understand other people, the General felt petrified by the prospect of being forcibly pushed into a social circumstance. Yet, despite his fears, none of them ever rose up and reared their ugly head. The rather distant, anti-social blond was rather knowing when it came to developing relationships with others without overwhelming him.
Saturday evenings and most Sunday's were spent slowly socializing him. After the first few awkward hours, Sephiroth's natural charisma finally kicked in and the great General who used to be able to only bark commands and make powerful speeches from afar, was chatting amicably with his SOLDIERs. It was, to say the least, an astounding change that did not go without notice.
"You seem to be getting along nicely with Damien," Cloud noted after one of the arranged communication sessions…which, involved locking Sephiroth in a room with anywhere between one to ten other people, not including himself. This particular day went rather well and without any prompting from his mentor, the teen began conversing with a Third Class SOLDIER whom recently passed his exams.
Sephiroth nodded and managed a weak smile.
Facial expressions and body language were two things that Cloud was also working awful hard to help the General both show and read. Why the teen was so miserable at these things was to be blamed on his raising, and for some reason, the blond seemed understand…but was not sympathetic of the fact.
It was almost a bit hypocritical how adamant Cloud was in "socializing" him when he himself was a loner who was impossible to read at the best of times.
"He is very polite, eager to prove himself and had very impressive scores on his exams… Intelligent…" Cloud continued,"Not to mention rather attractive."
The General froze where he stood and gave the blond a horrified look.
"Hm?" His mentor hummed, tilting his head and pausing in his stride,"Was it something I said?"
"You think D-damien is attractive?" Sephiroth sputtered,"B-but…I t-thought…?"
Cloud reached out and patted the teen on the head like one would a fluffy kitten or puppy.
"Oh Sephiroth," he sighed,"Of course I do not find him attractive, personally. I meant that as a young man of his age he is rather good looking. I'd say he's a natural blond too. Perhaps I could arrange another meeting between you two, call it a date, what do you think?"
What did he think? Not only was Cloud rejecting him but he was setting him up on a date with a sixteen-year-old! Sephiroth, for one, did not have any interest in someone who was potentially younger than him. In fact, he rather liked being around people who were on his level of maturity and intelligence, which were usually older SOLDIERs. One SOLDIER in particular had his heart all tied up, anyway. Even if Damien proved to be a prodigy of sorts, the kid did not hold a candle to the object of his obsession.
Scowling, Sephiroth nearly slammed open the door to his apartment in anger. Why was he so out of control lately? Why was he letting his emotions gain control of him? The door shut quietly. He could heard Cloud walking closer.
"Care to explain this little display?" the blond asked, his tone curious but wary.
"I do not want to go on a date with Damien. I do not like men." The teen replied darkly, his back turned to the SOLDIER.
"No?" Cloud sounded disbelieving,"Could have fooled me."
"I don't like women either," Sephiroth continued before whipping around and staring directly into his mentor's eyes,"I like you. Only you. You make me feel things that no one else can. I don't know why. I've tried looking at other people. But not one of those other people makes me want them. I've been silent for the longest time, but no longer. Cloud Strife, I…I love you. I love you and I always will. Don't ask me why or how I know, because I just do. Alright?"
Silence.
Cloud looked surprised and skittish, as if he felt cornered.
Gaia, this was getting them nowhere!
Sephiroth strode forwards and once again took the initiative.
"I don't know if you like me, or men for that matter, but I do know that I want no one else other than you. Please, Cloud, give me a chance. Just a chance." He murmured, reaching and cradling the blond's face with his hands. When the other man said nothing, Sephiroth kissed his lips, this time, gently, no teeth involved. When the blond remained rigid, he took a slightly different approach, one he observed from a distance but never believed he would ever use in practice.
Simply, he said,"I want you." Sephiroth put as much purr into his voice as possible, but he had to admit he was terrible at this whole seduction thing.
Strong hands wrapped around his wrists and for a split second, the teen panicked.
"You do not know what you are asking. You do not want this." Cloud whispered, his voice hoarse. "You just have a crush…it will fade in time."
"No, I love you," Sephiroth crooned. Those words felt strangely right on his lips. "For three years I have loved you from afar, not realizing it. You helped open my eyes, Cloud. You helped me see. This is not a choice I have made impulsively either, to love you. Nor is my wanting you something new. It is a desire a long time in the making, much longer than the few short weeks we have been mentor and student."
"When did you become the romantic?" The blond asked with a nervous giggle.
Sephiroth silenced the noise with another kiss and attempted to deepen the embrace. How his body burned. He wanted this. Every inch of his being cried out to Cloud as if he were the very elixir that kept his heart beating.
Cloud reciprocated his advance hesitantly at first, but soon the blond took control. There was no way for the General to regain the upper hand in the situation and the teen knew it the moment he was nudged towards the bedroom. Only once did he try and that one time was responded to with a sharp yank of his hair. Startled by the action, Sephiroth grew still and allowed for himself to fall backwards into the plush comfort of his bed.
Wide-eyed, he stared up at the blond whom was working his way out of his clothes at an impressive clip. When Cloud finished with that task and placed butterfly kisses along his jaw and throat, Sephiroth barely heard him say,"Mine. No one else will touch you and don't you ever forget that."
"I love you," the teen murmured back, his eyes slipping closed from the treatment.
If there was a reply, he heard none; he was too lost in moment… Those calloused hands were working magic like no other…The only break in his bliss was momentary, sharp pain that sent him gasping. Muttered nonsense lulled him back into the cradle of nothingness. All that existed for the rest of the night was himself and Cloud and a moment years in the making.
A/n: (As I mentioned earlier, review please my pretties. –puppy eyes—)