A/N:
Last installment! Hope everyone doesn't mind the long wait. If you would like a list of reasons for my disappearing act then read the author's note for the latest chapter of 'Fourth Time's the Charm'. I have been a very busy writer.
Just so you know, this is written entirely in Young!Cloud's point of view and for a reason.
Anywho, I adore my reviewers. You guys are the reason why I keep writing.
Any comments, reviews and the like are loved. I thrive off feedback.
Disclaimer: This was for fun, not for profit. I own nothing FF7 related….blah blahblah. To quote another writer: "These are not my characters, I'm just abusing them".
Summary: Gift for Meggurra: Sometimes, changing the past causes unexpected results. Time travel. Young!Seph x AC!Cloud. m/m slash. Seph centric.
Words: 6,125
Rating: M
Cause and Effect
By Catsitta
Conclusion: The end is only the beginning
"It's been a while…Cloud." The voice was young and feminine, almost bright in quality. He wished he had a smile to offer her.
"Aerith…"
Silence drew between them. Back to back, the pair stood amongst a field of flowers, immersed in the glow of the Lifestream. Tendrils of green wrapped around their feet and the windless air tugged at their hair and clothing. Slender, gentle hands grasped his own, fingers tangling together. His hands were so big and calloused compared to Aerith's soft, dainty ones. If he had not known better, he might have been afraid of breaking the girl…but she was strong. Stronger than him in all ways but that of body.
Cloud bowed his head, allowing his blond bangs to shadow the pained expression on his face. Even after all of this time, and being told countless times he was forgiven, that it was not his fault…it still hurt. It still hurt to hear Aerith's voice. To feel her presence. To see her smile.
So he refused to look, knowing that he would see the precious flower girl, all dressed in pink, smiling at him as if nothing was wrong.
"You still have not forgiven yourself…have you?"
"How can I?"
"You saved the world, Cloud. Where others would have run away, you stood your ground…you fought despite the odds. You inspired strangers to fight at your side…and in time, they came to think of you as their friend. A friend worth fighting beside and dying for."
The blond shuddered, teeth clenched with restrained anger,"I tried to give up, Aerith. I'm a coward…a failure…a freak…" His grip on the girl's hands was like a vice, but the girl made no sound of discomfort. "No one should have followed me. No one should have died…you should not have died…"
"Dilly dally shilly shally." Was Aerith's stubborn reply. "Cloud. All this guilt...all this sorrow…you have to let it go. Besides, you're the bravest person I know. After all, despite being scared, you came back. You faced every battle with a strong heart knowing you could be the next one to lose your life…In fact, your greatest battles, you faced alone Cloud. Your friends were with you in spirit, but they could not help you. And yet…here you are…"
Cloud clamped his eyes shut and shook his head,"You don't understand!"
"Then tell me…tell me what would make you happy. What would help you forgive and forget?"
"Aerith…The world is dying…I'm dying." The blond murmured, feeling tears well up in his eyes and threaten to spill,"Soon, Jenova and her taint will corrupt all of the Lifestream. Your rain washed away most of her influence, but she remains. I can feel her, Aerith. I can hear her. She whispers to me at night about how she will infect the Planet's blood, her legacy carried in the body of every living thing born. And when her forces are great enough, she will purge this Planet of all things living and steal away the energy of all the souls dying simultaneously." He gripped Aerith's hands even harder than before. "With that energy she will sail into the cosmos…within a chosen vessel…one who can preserve her…"
He released the flower girl's hands and sank to his knees, head hung low,"She will win, Aerith. All the battles we have fought will be worthless. I failed. I failed everyone…"
Small hands came to cradle Cloud's face and he reluctantly opened his eyes.
Emerald met blue and the blond began to sob. It had been so long since he had allowed himself to cry. But seeing those beautiful, knowing eyes and that angelic face framed with spiraled chestnut bangs so familiar—it broke his resolve. It had been four years since her death, but seeing her spirit, unchanged by the ways of time, opened wounds that had refused to close all the way.
"What if I said you could change everything? Make all the pain go away."
"I'd ask the cost. No deal is ever free." Cloud replied stiffly as he struggled to restrain his bottled up tears from continuing to fall.
"You'd be right, Spiky."
"Zack?"
Both he and Aerith looked up to see the raven-haired man approach. A stray spike fell over his face, and he offered his usual smile. But there was tension in the expression and unease in his loose stance. "Been a while, kiddo." Zack himself was no older than twenty-three, two years older than Cloud until his tragic death at the cliffs looking over Midgar. Now, he was he younger one, in a way, but to Cloud he would always be his best friend…and older brother figure.
"What are you doing here?"
"What's anyone doing here? Trying to move on…find our Promise Land and all that." Zack grinned for a moment, but it was fleeting. Soon, his expression became sober. "So. What's your answer?"
"My answer?"
"Yeah, your answer. What would you say if you change it all? Make a difference and all that stuff."
Cloud blinked with disbelief. Two of his most beloved friends were looking at him and asking very seriously, what he would say to changing the events of his life. "I'd say I'd do almost anything. But…"
"What about killing Sephiroth?" Zack asked, his flat tone leaving no room for interpretation.
"Kill…Sephiroth?" Cloud tilted his head,"I've done it three times before, Zack, I can do it a fourth. The man ruined my life and tried to destroy the world."
"What if he was sane?" Aerith's sweet voice chimed. "What if he was innocent?"
"I…it wouldn't make a difference. I'd do whatever necessary to change things for the better. I mean, what could be worse than watching the world die all around…watching everyone get sick…feeling myself rot from the inside out and there being nothing anyone can do? In another couple years, the Planet will be a wasteland. If killing Sephiroth would change this, yeah, I'll do it…but, how…?"
"To go back…you must return to where it all began, Cloud." Aerith replied cryptically before stepping away from the blond. "Time is a cycle…a circle. To reach the start one must find the end…for the end of one life is only the beginning for another. Same with eras…same with chances and choices…same with chapters in history as well as those in life."
Cloud shook his head with disbelief,"Nibelheim."
Zack came to stand beside Aerith and the pair nodded in affirmation.
"You don't have to go back, Cloud. No one will blame you if you choose to stay."
The blond stared at the flower girl clad in pink, then shifted his gaze to the SOLDIER at her side. "I know…but if I do go…how do I go back? When will I go back? Will I remember…?"
"That's the problem, kiddo, we don't know. You could end up two minutes in the past or two decades. You might become your former self or you might replace him with your current form…or even co-exist with your former self…we just don't know what'll happen…" Zack reached out and wrapped an arm around Aerith's shoulders, "All we do know is that the Planet has a plan…an ace up Her sleeve, you could say. But, again, as far as we know, you could take a nap and wake up in the past…or you may have to die. We're just the messengers Cloud…and we're running out of time."
"Time…" Cloud wiped his face with his arm and shook his head. "Always a race to save the world before it ends, isn't it? No room for hesitation or planning…just instinct and impulse."
"You got great instincts, Spike. Trust 'em."
"Is this goodbye then?"
Aerith and Zack both smiled sadly as they turned and walked away. As their forms were consumed by the bright light of dream and memory, Cloud heard them both say,"No, just until we meet again."
Alone, Cloud took in a deep breath.
And to the silence he whispered,"Until we meet again…"
000X000
Ever since he was a kid, Cloud had strange dreams. Much like the one he just woke up from, they always left him disoriented and confused.
The blond Cadet blinked and tried to clear his head, but the rolling and bumping movements of the truck proved to make doing so impossible. Overwhelmed by his motion sickness, he dropped his head between his knees and groaned. Gaia, he felt awful.
Not only was he going back home, to Nibelheim, a mere Cadet, a far cry from being a SOLDIER, but he was going back home while on a mission with the two most powerful men in the program. The town would not look fondly down upon him, especially not after he so boldly preached his ambitions and failing to even come close to them. But then again, had the townsfolk ever gave him a kind glance?
Cloud Strife, the peculiar son of a mysterious soldier, was the favorite object of suspicion and blame.
It all started when he was a kid and he began having these nightmares. How many nine-year-olds dream of dying cities and bloodstained battlegrounds? And in such vivid detail…It was as if he was reliving the memories of another, experiencing their pain and turmoil, all the while seeing his own face…hearing his own name on the lips of the men and women he claimed as enemies or friends.
He remembered waking up screaming, ripping at the sheets of his bed, too lost in the night terrors to comprehend reality. The entire village watched on with horror, whispering how Cloud was 'touched' or possibly even 'possessed'. There was something unnatural about a boy pleading for strangers not to die, eyes wide open and filled with tears, or hearing him snarl with hatred about some man whose name no one had ever heard.
But those events only marked the beginning. Cloud recalled how the children alienated him, too afraid to linger in his presence after their parents filled their empty heads with hateful words. Even Tifa, the brave young girl who sometimes showed him what she learned in martial arts class with Zangan, watched him warily and soon, silently. It was not until years after that, when he dreamed of her having a terrible fall off the Mount Nibel Bridge, and rescued her from injury, did the girl open up to him again. Then again, Cloud never told how he knew she would be in danger that day.
At about thirteen, the dreams began to change in nature.
There was blood and fighting, yes, but also a new, sexual element.
A silver-haired boy emerged into the picture. One with shoulder length locks and piercing, feline eyes. There was something studious and infinitely curious about his mannerisms. But also something dark.
Cloud recalled dreams of attacking the boy, pinning his smaller frame beneath his own, heart pounding with the instinct to kill. But those eyes…they were wide and so full of innocence. Potential untapped. Brilliant, brave and unyielding. Yet pliant. Capable of being shaped with a harsh enough hand. And thus, he began having fantasies of himself as a man and this silver angel. They were sickening at first, disturbing and brutal. The bizarre urge to hurt and humiliate remained even as he slaked his physical lust.
It was awful—dreaming those erotic dreams. It was embarrassing how he found himself aroused through abuse and dominance of such a beautiful, willful creature. But embarrassment eventually fled, replaced by something else…something hard to describe. The boy in his dreams grew older, and more enthralling, until he was at the precipice of manhood. And it was then that the desire to control became more of a desire to guide, to shape, to capture. That wild and impulsive spirit needed no taming, rather, it needed harnessing. It needed to be bridled and tied, drawn close and never let go.
By his fourteenth birthday, Cloud realized that he was in love.
He was in love with a creature that burned with fearless fire in every aspect of life—one so very passionate yet submissive when it came to bodily pleasure. A creature who could command battalions, perhaps even nations worth, of men.
Three days after his birthday passed, he saw the creature from his dreams.
And he realized impossible his foolish desires were.
Staring back at him from a recruitment poster for the ShinRa Military, was General Sephiroth, a First Class SOLDIER and hero of the Wutai War.
A man nearly a decade his senior.
Yet something small and rebellious, hopeful and dreadful, inside of him drove Cloud into signing his name on the little post card and packing his bags for Midgar. He would become a SOLDIER. He would meet the man he dreamt about since he was nine. And perhaps he would even learn a thing or two about his missing father.
Only, things did not do as planned.
Hence, the Cadet uniform he wore two years after joining the military.
"Hey Spike, you alright?"
Cloud managed to lift his swimming head to look up at Zack. The raven-haired man was so good to him. A true blue friend. It was he who gave Cloud a father in the simplest of ways…by showing him a photograph of the man and the wild story of his career. It was strange how Zack could not say how or when Lieutenant Strife became a SOLDIER, or even how the man died. But those things did not matter. Not when there was a reassurance that his father did not abandon him and his mother; rather, he died a hero.
Another reason that he felt guilty for failing to make it to Third Class.
Was he destined to be a perpetual disappointment?
No. He would live up to the Strife name. He would become a SOLDIER one day, just like his father. He would do everything in his power to make the man proud from wherever he watched in the Lifestream. He would prove himself worthy of the sword that lay at his feet, next to Zack's and Sephiroth's blades. First Tsurugi would be a part of his own legacy. He would make sure of it.
"Hello. Gaia to Spike. Anybody in there?" Cloud blinked in surprise when Zack's hand waved before his eyes.
"Yeah…?" He tilted his head up.
"I asked it you were alright."
"Fine. Just a little motion sick is all."
"Huh. Never been motion sick before. Must suck. I wouldn't worry about it too much, once you make SOLDIER, Spike, it'll probably go away."
Cloud grunted. Trust Zack to give unhelpful advice while trying to be helpful.
"Leave the boy alone." Sephiroth commanded with an irritated growl to his tone as he motioned in Zack's direction, "and sit down. You're making me sick with your constant up and down routine. Can you please go ten minutes without doing squats?"
Zack cast the silver-haired General a hurt look, and that was the last Cloud saw before nausea took over and he clamped his eyes shut and dropped his head to ease his stomach.
000X000
A dragon. Of all the things to hit with a truck, a dragon!
Cloud shook his head as he followed his superior officers towards Nibelhiem. The men did not even break a sweat during their fight to dispatch the creature, and that was all the more reason to watch them with awe. Yeah, he had it bad. Hero worship. Then again, what he felt for Sephiroth was a touch more than that. It would likely always would be. Why, he did not know, but the infatuation he had with the creature in his dreams had every likelihood of persisting.
"So, this is your hometown." Zack said as the village came into view. "Take away all the snow, replace all the pine trees with mangroves, and make it ninety degrees with humidity you could cut with a knife, and it's just like Gongaga!"
"Gongaga looks nothing like this place…" The silver General murmured, his mako eyes fixated on the mountains looming above.
"That's because you have to use your imagination, Seph."
Sephiroth, ever quiet and brooding since the mission's beginning, gave a noncommittal grunt. Then, he lifted a hand to his temple and shook his head, as if trying to shake away a headache.
"Sir…are you alright?" Cloud asked softly.
"I'm fine, Cadet."—there was a pause where the man took in a deep breath and turned to face the little group—"Tell me, what is it like having a hometown?"
"You don't know?" Sephiroth shook his head, so Cloud continued,"Well, I guess it's okay. I mean, where you are born is special, and my mother lives here. She's all I have left after…" He let the sentence trail off when he noted a significant stiffening of the older man's posture.
"At least you know where you are born…and a mother who loves you. All I know of mine is that she was named Jenova. As for my father…" The silver General cut himself off with an eerie smile and a humorless laugh. "Never mind. The mission will not start until morning. Feel free to visit family and friends." And with that, the blond was waved away, already forgotten in the grand scheme of things.
000X000
With the exception of when he visited his mother, Cloud kept his helmet on and pretended to be an ordinary trooper. He mutely avoided conversations and allowed his fellow Cadet do all the talking, of which he was better at than driving, fortunately. The blond still had no idea how the teenager fucking missed a twenty foot Green Dragon. The giant lizards were crawling all over the place, and were one of the reasons that ShinRa had sent SOLDIER to deal with the problem. After all, it just wouldn't do if one of their precious reactors were destroying by a nesting mama and her brood of up to fifty little ones.
But still. How does anyone miss seeing one?
Cloud quietly mused that very question during the entirety of the afternoon, evening, and a majority of the next day. As long as he was wondering how someone hit a dragon with a truck, then he wasn't thinking about Tifa. Of all the people to be their guide through the mountain, it had to have been her. The one person aside from his mother he was worried about disappointing. He was supposed to be her hero. He was supposed to become strong for her and come to her rescue when she needed him one day.
"You're awful quiet." Well think of the devil and she appears. Cloud tilted his head in Tifa's direction, hoping like hell that he could somehow avoid this conversation. "Do I know you…"
"Leave the trooper alone, Miss Lockheart." Zack interjected as the brunette reached for Cloud's helmet. "He's supposed to be seen by civilians, not heard."
Tifa offered a small, half-smile. "Sorry…oh, wait! That bridge, don't go near it. It's not safe."
Both Sephiroth and Zack gave her peculiar looks.
"Not that you two are in any danger, but we normal folk are in no shape for a drop down the mountainside. In fact, if it wasn't for my friend Cloud, I would probably be dead because of that bridge. It collapsed a few years ago while I was on it, and he pulled me to safety."
"Cloud?" Zack inquired with a tilt of his head.
"Do you know him? He's about my height with blond, chocobo hair and blue eyes."
The raven-haired man grinned, "Sure do."
"Fair! Stop conversing with the civilian. She is here to be our guide, not as a source of gossip."
"Damn, you're crabby today, Seph. Who pissed in your oatmeal?"
Cloud took the proceeding argument between the two SOLDIERs as an opportunity to fade away into the background. His retreating worked, because once they were walking again, Tifa never spared him another glance.
000X000
Head spinning with what Zack had told him, Cloud buried his face in his hands.
Mutated, mako-saturated monsters in pods were stacked upon each other within the reactor. In fact, the door leading to the main core had JENOVA written above it in bold, capital letters. Sephiroth's mother. Speaking of whom, the silver General was currently having some kind of mental breakdown of his own which Zack was struggling to mend. Apparently, he thought he was like those monsters in the mako tanks and was questioning his humanity.
Locking himself in the ShinRa mansion had been Sephiroth's first course of action and even after Zack found the man the basement laboratory, he refused to come out. There, he was going to journal after journal, all of which documenting one project or another done by the infamous Professor Hojo.
'What is going on?' Cloud asked himself despite the fact he had no chance of knowing the answer.
"Hey Spike…"
"Zack!" The blond looked up, surprised by the man's near silent entrance into the shared inn room as well as his haggard appearance.
"I can't seem to wake him up, Spiky. He's caught up in his own little world it seems."—he chuckled dryly—"You wouldn't believe how many books that man has read in the past few hours..."
They exchanged thoughtful looks, before Zack peeled off his uniform and collapsed on the bed opposite of Cloud's. How long it took for the man to fall asleep was anyone's guess, but eventually his troubled mind allowed him rest. His breathing slowed and a soft snore escaped his lips.
And Cloud took that as a sign to make his escape.
Careful not to wake either the SOLDIER or the Cadet, Cloud snuck out and made his way towards the mansion—First Tsurugi sheathed between his shoulders in a harness "borrowed" from Zack. His head refused to stop spinning, and a sense of urgency overwhelmed him. He had to find Sephiroth. He just had to. If he didn't, then something terrible was going to happen.
Along with the sickening panic that was causing his heart to race painfully, was a quiet whisper. One that sat just below his subconscious. Guiding Cloud with him barely realizing it.
'Straight ahead…now left…there's a panel on the wall…yes, there, press it. Follow the stairs…'
Follow the stairs…he paused after opening the hidden staircase, wondering how he found it and why he was so certain Sephiroth was down there… But the urgency to find the man overcame common sense, and the Cadet clattered down the stairs without heed to the racket he was making on old, wooden steps.
'Hurry.'
Cloud found himself running faster.
Images of Nibelhiem burning flashed into his head. The scream of the dying echoed in his ears. Smoke cured high into the sky, thick and bitter. All around lay bodies. Even his mother. His whole life…his whole world. Up in flames. An oath of revenge was like acid upon his lips. And then his identity was stripped away. Lost. Confused. Broken. A world on the brink of destruction.
'This will be the truth,' Cloud found himself thinking, 'if I am not fast enough. If I fail…'
Upon entering what looked to be a mad scientist's lab mashed together with a library, the blond let out a cry that he had been holding back,"Sephiroth!"
Glinting mako-green eyes flicked up from the pages of a tattered book, and the silver General paused mid-step. He stared at Cloud for a moment before setting his stance and sneering.
"Another human has come to disturb our reunion, Mother." Sephiroth said aloud, his eyes never leaving Cloud's. "Should I rid his filth from this Planet for you?"
'No! We can't be too late.' Wait—we? 'Damn it. If only I…' Cloud, frozen by the one-sided conversation going on inside his head and the apparent one going within Sephiroth's, could only stand like an idiot before a war machine stalking forwards for the kill. 'Kiss him.' The thought sprung up just as Sephiroth reached to grab Cloud by the hair.
On impulse, he obeyed.
Lurching forwards, the blond managed to avoid the silver General's attack as well as grab a chunk of Sephiroth's impressive mane. He used it to pull the man closer and crush their mouths together, astounding himself by the way he instinctively took the dominate role.
There was clashing of lip, tongue and teeth. He felt strong hands grip his wrist and neck, squeezing with bruising force. The pain would have made him scream had he control of his actions. Instead, he continued to fight a dangerous battle of wills, himself but a puppet in the game.
A few seconds into the exchange, though it felt like minutes, Sephiroth pried Cloud away and literally tossed him across the room. The blond cried out when his body slammed into a desk and fell onto his hands and knees.
'Get up!'
Unwillingly, the Cadet leapt onto his feet.
'Now move.'
He rolled out of the way just in time to avoid Sephiroth's fist.
'I can't believe this is happening.'
Cloud was uncertain if his thoughts were his own anymore. It felt as if there were two people in his head, but only the other person was speaking. He, himself, no longer had any voice. It was beyond frightening.
All he knew for sure was that he didn't want to die.
Nor did he want those terrible nightmares he had as a child to become reality.
'I thought I had changed things. I thought he was safe from her. And I failed. I failed at giving Calamity's son his redemption…so I will give him his end before all is lost.'
His end? Cloud trembled with fatigue. He was exhausted by this whole experience as a whole. All he wanted was to wake up and this be just a dream. But he knew it wasn't. This was real.
'I'm sorry, Cloud.'—the blond Cadet dove to the floor and tried to scramble away from the General—'I did what I could to prevent this day. Now it falls to you to fix my err in judgment.' Who the hell was in his head? 'Take up my—our—sword and end this.'
'Our sword?' Was he hearing his father's voice in his head? The man was a SOLDIER said to be on par with the great General. Cloud was a clumsy Cadet who could barely carry the massive First Tsurugi. But that did not stop his body from obeying the command and drawing the blade, the proud edge pointing pitifully towards the ground.
Sephiroth balked for only a moment before laughing,"A child stands no chance against me."
'It's a child that slays you.' The voice inside Cloud's heard echos,'Thrice over, Sephiroth. A wicked cycle that should never have begun again.'—a pause—'I was supposed to change the future, give you a chance to be what I could not. Free.'
'Who are you?' Cloud wondered, too tired to do more than hold First Tsurugi and wait for death to come.
'I am you.'
And with that said, all hell broke loose.
Sephiroth swept a hand in a clean arc and a plume of Fire jetted from his palm, catching the room alight. Cloud felt the heat of the flames lick against his skin, but fear and shock made him numb. All the dreams he had a child, they now made morbid sense. The man from his dreams and Lieutenant Cloud Strife were the same people. And if they were the same, that meant Cloud was too. Three different people…all aligned, layered, existing together. They were him. They were the result of himself not stopping Sephiroth from destroying Nibelheim. They were supposed to stop it. They were supposed to kill the silver General, but instead, fell in love with him, ever so reluctantly.
The sword fell from Cloud's hands. He couldn't do it. He refused. Guilt of a life he never had a chance to live already settled heavily on his soul. It wouldn't be possible to carry it twice over.
'The hell—? Pick up the sword. Fight!'
"No."
With the fire burning around them, Cloud stared into the eyes of his idol. The man he loved in more than one life. And he watched him approach, the gleam of metal flashing in the air. Masamune. Sephiroth had his prized blade in hand, fetched from somewhere unseen.
"I will cleanse this Planet of humanity. Destroy those who hurt Mother. All these liars will perish for their sins."
"What would Lieutenant Strife think of your actions, Sephiroth?" Cloud asked, wanting nothing more than to voice the words of a man who had done all he could to give the General a second chance. "He cared about you. He made you who you are today."
Sephiroth let out a snarl and plunged Masamune through Cloud's shoulder and into a scorched bookcase. He then leaned closer and hissed,"You nothing like your father, Strife. Unlike him, you are a coward and deserve the same punishment as everyone else."
"No. I am not a coward. I am Cloud Strife. A SOLDIER First Class." Cloud allowed his volume to raise into a shout, hoping his bravado would mask his terror. "Your mentor. Your friend…Your lover."
"Lies."
"Why else would I kiss you?"
"You're another fool who wanted to touch a weapon of war. Another who wanted a fuck."
"But you would never take an offer from anyone else but your lover. You saw a man die seven years ago but you wanted nothing more for him to come home one day, didn't you? That's why you attacked me. I reminded you of your lover and you thought me his unmentioned son. Your mentor and I are one and the same, Sephiroth. And he never stopped loving you…I will never stop loving you."
"Bah! Love." The silver General yanked Masamune free and allowed Cloud to slump bonelessly to the floor, blood gushing from the wound the blade left behind. "Love can't bring a man back from the dead."
"No. Hate does that. Burning, terrible hatred. The kind that rots the body and soul and warps the mind." The blond reach up and placed an open palm against his injury. "Love is what heals the damage hate does. Because hate can only destroy, never create. Because without love, hate destroys all second chances it gives."
Sephiroth shook his head.
"Time to die, little human."
A weary smile quirked onto Cloud's lips. The last words he managed to say before his world went dark were these two.
"So impulsive."
000X000
White.
So much white.
It was blinding in intensity, yet he felt no fear of it. Cloud felt only peace.
He took in a slow, easy breath and inhaled the rich aroma of flowers. The blond smiled and reached out lazily with one hand to touch the tangles of green, yellow and white that surrounded him. Never before had he been in a place so beautiful. Never before had he wanted so badly to let go of all of his inhibitions and sleep away all his worries.
But those desires were cut short by two black boots coming into sight, ugly amongst the field of delicate blooms.
Cloud frowned and dared to look up.
Staring at him was himself…except he was not. This man was Lieutenant Strife, the one who suffered terribly and at one point burned with toxic hatred, and had ended up dying believing he had made everything right through his friendship, guidance and love. This man was who little Cloud Strife, the nobody from Nibelhiem, would have become.
A strong man. A good man. A man burdened with guilt.
A man who would lead a group of strangers into the heat of battle, and turned them into friends through a united cause. A man who the very Planet heralded a hero as well as a monster. A man corrupted by a disease instilled in him by a madman—a virus that gifted him with strength beyond measure, as well as cursed him to Jenova's affliction. Geostigma.
"Hi…" Cloud knew he must have sounded stupid, but it was all he could offer.
Strife, the name suited the looming figure clad entirely in black, merely continued to stare, his blue eyes dark.
"Um…where are we?"
"The Lifestream."
"I guess this means I'm dead, huh?"
A wry smile was offered upon Strife's lips,"If only it was that simple." He reached out with one gloved hand, of which Cloud felt reluctant to touch. But he did, however unwillingly, and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.
"So…I'm not dead?"
Strife quirked a brow and actually rolled his eyes,"I forget how hopelessly naïve I was at your age."
"I'm not naïve." Cloud snapped,"I know plenty. I've seen more than I should have and it's because of you…isn't it?" Strife was silent. "How did you do it, by the way? How did you make me see your past? Why? And then the whole bit with Sephiroth as your lover…" He knew he was blushing.
"I did not allow you to see those things," there was raw honesty in his voice,"I never wanted you to see anything. I wanted to protect you from ever seeing your home go up in smoke, from seeing your hero turn into your mortal enemy…and I never wanted you to know that no matter how strong you become, that in the end, it is never enough. You can hate, love, kill and save whoever you want—but it will make no difference!" Strife snapped his mouth shut, obviously saying more than he wanted at the height of emotion.
"I wanted a second chance too," the man murmured, his whole body sagging from the very weight of his burden. "If I could prevent Sephiroth's fall into insanity, everything could be made right. You would not become me. You would not doubt your identity every day of your life…question whose memories are yours and who belong to another. You would live the life you were supposed to live.
"But somehow…our lives and minds overlapped. You, a child, saw every regret and triumph that drove me into the depths of insanity. You saw my hesitations, my failings…and you felt my desires to prove my own worth.
"You were to be unscathed. Innocent. All the things that were ripped away from me too young."
Cloud nodded with understanding, "Things never go to plan, do they?"
"No they don't." Strife reached out and pressed an open palm against Cloud's wounded shoulder. There was no pain, only torn, bloodied fabric and scarred flesh. "I just wish my attempts to change my—our—life were more successful."
"You loved him," the Cadet offered carefully,"and showed him his own worth, something that Sephiroth never understood before." Strife's eyes widened, apparently shocked by his younger versions realization. "You gave him every chance that love and hate could. You broke him down and built him up again stronger. You thought it would be enough to protect him from Jenova…strong enough to protect him from himself and his fate."
"Yes. Yes I did."
"I bet if you were still around, he would not have gone insane."—Cloud covered Strife's hand with his own—"He needs you now more than ever. His grief made him vulnerable. He doesn't believe anyone else could love him for who he is other than you."
"We are one and the same, you and I. You are just as capable of hating him…as well as loving him."
"I already love him."
"Then you are stronger than I."
"Not in body."
"We were always strong, in every way; it's the Strife way of things. We endure. We weather the very storm we dare to create. Should you have found enough hate, First Tsurugi would have been easy enough to wield. You could have poured your anger into every action and slain Sephiroth were he stood."
"Hate only destroys."
"You've said that before…and you're right. No good can ever come of hatred and revenge. That's why killing Sephiroth as a child would have only caused more grief than hope."
There was a lengthy pause.
"So what now?"
Cloud, no longer afraid of his other self, remained where he stood, the other's hand against his shoulder, wondering exactly what would come next. If he was not dead, but not alive, then what was he? What did it mean for there to be two versions of himself living in unison in the Lifestream. Could they make a difference? Could they stop Sephiroth before it was too late? Would they have to kill him or would love be enough?
But the Strife's response was the last one Cloud wanted with all of the questions racing in his mind.
"We wait."
"And then?"
"Then…we will bring the storm."
Fin
A/N:
Aaand, there we have it. The ending of Cause and Effect. Don't like it? Don't worry. I wouldn't honestly leave you guys on a cliff hanger forever. I'm not that cruel.
Let's just say a sequel is in the works.
Feel free to toss me any idea cookies to help clear up unanswered questions and whatnot. Also, title names. I'm awful at thinking them up, but to any who are interested, check out the little summary blurb I'm including after this A/N.
Anywho, a million thanks to all who have read and reviewed. This has been a journey that was well worth the time and frustration. I hope you all have enjoyed it as much as I have. And to those who have been there from the beginning: You are my inspiration. Nothing makes me smile more than someone who offers five seconds or even five minutes of their time to write out a review however long or short every time I update.
Again, thank you.
It's been fun.
-Catsitta
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A sneak peak at the sequel! Full version of chapter one posted.
Edit: 7/11/12
Aftermath
Chapter One: Whisper
It was like the Wutai War all over again. People scattered upon sighting him, each one fleeing for their pathetic lives. Mice. Roaches. Ants. They were vermin.
So few would die with honor on his day.
As bullets rang, his Masamune sang her song of death. So much blood. So much pain. So much more to make. He had to wipe this Planet of human taint—cleanse it with blood and fire. He had to do so for Mother. For himself.
Sephiroth found himself laughing humorlessly at the scene before him. The villagers in Nibelhiem possessed more bravery than these fools. And to think, Junon is a military base, an institution for training SOLDIERS second only to Midgar itself! Cowards. All of them. Running away as their once esteemed General raised his blade against them.
"F-fire!" cried out a Sargent of the regulars as the SOLDIER made his steady approach. Sephiroth shook his head, smirking slightly. They stood no chance. The troopers fell one by one, not a single bullet piercing his skin as he danced amongst them. He found himself laughing aloud as Masamune tasted sweet flesh and bone, and bathed in the warm spray of crimson.
Each of them would fall like the animals they were. Slaughtered by the god that walked amongst them.
At least, that was the plan.
As he readied himself for the next wave of assault, there came a strange, eerie pause. A wash of calm, as if a storm were brewing somewhere in the distance. The air crackled with tension and reeked of smoke. The wind that had been gusting about had fallen still…stagnant. There were no shouts of battle or the ring of metal, or the clatter of boots.
Had they surrendered? Holed themselves up like the mice they were? If so, then he would flush them out. He would…
"Sephiroth. This stops here."
Check out the full story! Thank for reading.
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