A/N: Could things get any worse for poor Jani?

(To add more tension and drama to this chapter, look up the song "Breathe Me" by Sia. It really goes good with Jani's emotions in this chapter)

Done . . . . Just Done

By the time I reached the lake, the sun was setting. Hiding in a thick shrub, I transformed into my cat form. I trembled as I made my way to ThunderClan. My mind was entirely set on what I was gonna do. There was no way I was returning to my human life. And I couldn't go to Mother Gana. All I had left was the clans. Perhaps I should tell them my secret . . .

No! I had just runaway from my old life because of the stupid things I did. If I told the clan my secret and they rejected me for it, then where else would I have to go? I would be better off dead.

My head hurt the more I thought about it. I would come up with something later. For now, I had a clan waiting for me.

All was quiet around the lake tonight. WindClan territory was especially quiet tonight. It was as if the piece of land was asleep. Not even the wind was awake, ironic since it was WindClan.

Before I reached the ThunderClan border, I stopped, I sensed I was being watched. Turning around, all I saw was the dark night. I breathed a sigh of relief. But I breathed too soon.

Out of the darkness, I saw a black tom launch out of the bushes. Breezepelt!

He pounced on as if I was vermin. That's when something in me snapped. No, fuck this! I was tired of having others bully and push me around! No! Enough was enough! It was time I started to fight back!

"What are you doing on-"

I cut off Breezepelt as I kicked him with my hind legs. He let out an oof and fell back. I looked down at him, narrowing my eyes. "Scram!"

But being Breezepelt, he did the exact opposite. He stood up. "You," he said. "You're that new ThunderClan warrior from the Gathering."

I nodded. "And you're . . . a cat."

He hissed. "I'm a WindClan warrior and you're on my clan's territory! What is a ThunderClan cat doing this far into my territory? Is Firestar sending spies!"

I rolled my eyes. "Cool your tail would you? I was traveling back from somewhere and needed to cross your territory."

"Why don't I believe that?"

I shrugged. "Because there's nothing going on in that beautiful head of yours."

That seemed to do it for him. He snarled, barring those sharp white fangs. "We'll see what Onestar has to say about it. You'll be in WindClan until your precious leader comes for you."

And that did it for me. As Breezepelt tried to grab me, I jumped up. Landing on his back, I began to tear him up. Something had been released in me. I was an animal, the kind that hunts and kills. My anger was so high, it was like a drug almost.

Breezepelt rolled out from under me. He struggled to get up. In the moonlight, I could see the fresh scratches I had just given to him dropping with scarlet blood. He stared at me with hard amber eyes. But I wasn't afraid.

"How dare you!" he snarled. "You trespass on my territory and attack me!"

I nodded. "And just what are you going to do about it?"

He smiled evilly. "This." He lunged to me, dragging me down with his teeth and pulling my fur out with him. I let out a yowl of pain. I managed to rip through his pelt with my paw. He loosen grip with his teeth, and I kicked him. Once up, I turned and saw him lying in the ground. For a second I thought he was dead. But soon his tail twitched, and he was up again.

He charged to me, but I made a high jump in the air, flipping over him. As I flipped over, I grabbed his ear with my teeth. And as I landed back on the ground I saw that I was holding half an ear between my teeth.

Breezepelt was yelling in pain like crazy. He ran into the moonlight and that's when I saw it. Half his right ear was gone and it was gushing blood like a volcano. My stomach twisted as I dropped the other half of his ear on the ground.

As the warrior continued to yell in pain, I made my escape, and ran as fast as I could. Oh my God! What had I done? Please, please to anyone who'll hear, don't let me sorrow in my clan home!

"VIOLETMOON!"

I jumped as Firestar's yowl echoed through the camp. I saw him standing by the entrance. His green eyes were furious.

I stood up on trembling legs. This wasn't going to end well.

Hollyleaf and Jayfeather looked to me as I stood. She cast a worried glance at me, but said nothing.

Standing at the entrance I saw Firestar standing with three other cats. I didn't recognize the other cats, but I recognized the scent. It was WindClan. I was screwed.

I approached them with my head down a little, unable to meet any of their eyes.

"Violetmoon," Firestar said in an irked voice-pissed pretty much. "This is Onestar, Heathertail, and Nightcloud."

I glanced and nodded at the three of them quickly before looking down again.

Firestar looked to me. "Onestar has come to tell me that a warrior in his clan was just injured a while ago. He was trying to chase out a ThunderClan warrior. But he was attacked by the warrior and not only suffered serve scratches, but also got most of his right ear ripped off. Then he was just left in pain near the border."

I was trembling so much I thought I might fall. God, why was I so stupid?

Onestar spoke. "When we found Breezepelt, he told us it was you before he lost conscious."

My head shot up. I looked at the WindClan leader then to mine. "I'm . . ." Tears were starting to form. I wasn't upset that I had badly injured Breezepelt. I was upset because I had just runaway from a life I completely screwed only to come into a new life which I was now beginning to screw up as well.

Onestar titled his head. "If you're trying to say an apology, you shouldn't be saying it to me." He cocked his head to the two other WindClan warriors. "You should really be saying it to his mother and mate."

I looked first at Nightcloud. She must be his mother. She looked a little like him. Why wasn't his father here? I wondered.

"I'm sorry. Truly I am."

Nightcloud narrowed her eyes. "He's my only son, my only child. If he dies I can never have another kit."

Her words were mixed with sorrow and bitterness. I felt bad. I might've destroyed her only son. If he died she would've probably been alone. No grandchildren, nothing. I could sympathize with her. I knew what it was like to seem as if you had no one.

I looked over to the beautiful she-cat. Wow, those gorgeous eyes. I felt this she-cat was too good for that scum Breezepelt. "I'm really sorry for you mate."

She didn't say anything. She just looked at me for a few seconds, sighed, then looked away. There really wasn't any emotion in her eyes. Didn't she love him?

Onestar looked to Firestar. "I'm just curious Firestar, is this what you're teaching your warriors? That it's okay to cross another clan's border, claw up a warrior, and just walk away? Fascinating the things that go on in ThunderClan."

Firestar said nothing in response to that insulted. I could feel my anger begin to bubble inside me. But I knew now of all times, I should simply remain quite.

"My apologizes for your warrior Onestar." Firestar bowed his head respectfully. "I assure, Violetmoon will be punished for this."

The WindClan warriors left. I finally gathered the strength to look at Firestar. My, were those eyes of his just ready to burst out of his sockets. This was the first time I've ever seen Firestar actually pissed. It kind of scared me a bit.

"Well?" he said. "You have a lot of explaining to do. Perhaps you should start as to why you attacked Breezepelt?"

"He attacked me first! I was only defending myself."

"You should've told him you traveling back from an errand I sent you."

"And you don't think I did? He threatened to take me to Onestar."

"Then you should've just let him Violetmoon. Not all things are solved with scratches and blood."

My anger had reached my peak. I could feel it rising. "No!" I shouted.

Firestar widened his eyes in me in shock.

"I'm tired of acting weak! Everyone always thinks they can get away with everything they do with me! I'm sick of it! For once I had to fight. And yes I make stupid choices, but I'm still young for heaven's sake! Why can't anyone understand that? Why is it every time I make a mistake, everyone just discards me! Why must they insult me, yell at me, laugh at me, pick on me, make me feel awful! They think words and actions don't hurt me, it does! Why can't they see that? Why do they have to turn on me, or send me away, or never talk to me again? Why! Why!-"

"Violetmoon!"

I was breathless from all my shouting. With a sudden realization, it came to me that I had just spilled my guts out to Firestar about my human life. Yet the anger in my wasn't done. And now I felt like crying. What's wrong me!

Firestar stared in confusion at me. "Violetmoon I honestly have no idea what you were talking about, but you still need to face your consequences for your actions."

"I said I was sorry!" My anger was getting hard to control as it starting reaching the surface.

"Sorry isn't enough!" he shouted back to me, almost as angry as I was. "You left another clan's warrior for dead, that's beyond something a true warrior would do!"

"Well excuse me for thinking reasonably. If he wasn't treating me right, why should I do the same for him?"

"Because you can't fight fire with fire Violetmoon."

I sighed. "Look Firestar I said I was sorry. What else should I do? Cure him?"

Firestar shook his head. "That'll be impossible. You'll be put on apprentice duties for two moons. You would not be allowed to attend Gatherings during that time too. Also, you may not attend any patrols. I don't want to risk you attacking anymore warriors."

What did he mean by attacking more warriors? Did he think I was some sort of monster?

"You don't trust me another other clan cats?" I asked. He blinked. I took it as a yes.

I took a step back a little. "You . . . You don't even trust me with your own warriors?"

"Now that I never said," he responded.

But I looked into his eyes. There was a hint of distrust. My tears spilled out all down my cheeks. "You don't trust me do you? You think you're seeing my true colors now aren't you?"

Firestar sighed. "Violetmoon . . . . . I think maybe, perhaps, this isn't the life you should be living."

My eyes widened. "What are you saying?"

"I'm . . ." He struggled to get the words out. "I'm saying that maybe-just maybe-clan life isn't for you. I'm not ordering you to leave, but I'm just suggesting maybe you should. You seem still attached to such a rogue life."

I shook my head. No. No this could not be happening. Please tell me no! Someone! Please! This was all I have left. And now it was slipping away. I felt my whole spirit slowly slipping away into a hole, or being beat by a hammer. No. It was none of those. It was as if my spirit was dying. Just dying slowly.

I looked to Firestar, tears blurring my vision. "Firestar . . . . please. Just tell me . . ." I couldn't even finish my sentence. Hurt was taking the words out of me. I only wish there was a way to relieve me of all this pain.

Firestar took a breath. "It's as I said, I'm not ordering you, just suggesting-"

"You don't want me." I blinked at him after I said the words.

Firestar blinked at me. "What? Violetmoon, I-"

"You don't want me," I repeated. "You don't want me . . . . They don't want me . . . . Nobody wants me . . ."

He shook his head. "Violetmoon that's not what I was saying. I was just saying that . . ."

His voiced drained from my head. So that was it. The cat who was going to be my last hope, didn't want me. It was official: I was the most unwanted thing in the world. I was scrap that was kicked into the gutters. Garbage. I was garbage.

I began to walk away. I could hear Firestar behind me as I walked away. "Violetmoon! Violetmoon wait!"

If he wants me to stay, he'll come after me.

I continued to walk, keeping my ears perched to the sound of paw steps.

He'll probably be running up to me in a few seconds. He's old. It'll take some time.

But all I heard was the wind and crickets chirp. Firestar never came. Well then. I guess this is how it was meant to me.

There was a rustle from the bushes besides me. My extremely depressed heart leaped as I turned to face it. But my spirits dropped down lower than they had been before when I saw Ashfur step out. He smiled in a mocking way when he saw me.

"Well if it isn't the latest gossip."

I looked dully at him. "What?"

He laughed. "You know the whole clan was talking about it. The young little she-cat who was talking with Blackstar at the Gathering, and then suddenly disappears. Pretty suspicious if you ask me."

I shook my head. "I don't care Ashfur . . . . I just don't anymore."

He shrugged. "You never really seemed to."

"And what do you mean by that?"

His expression changed from mocking to hatred as he stared at me. "You pranced around the clan as if you're a warrior."

"I was . . ."

"You're not such a thing! A true warrior stays all day in his clan! We fight and hunt and even kill if we have to. We fight in battles, prepared to give up our lives. And where are you Violetmoon? You come when the lake is asleep. You hunt the pathetic scraps of prey that wanders the night. How can you call yourself a warrior? How can you even live with yourself?"

I blinked. His words did hurt, just a little, but he was right. How could I live with myself? What did I have to live for now? No one in either of my lives wanted me.

"So you think I'm not a warrior?"

He snarled at me, spitting the words out. "You . . . will never be a warrior. You will never be one of us."

I could feel my heart breaking from this very words. Tears slipped from the corners of my eyes. But he was right. I would never be one of them. How could I? How could I be stupid to think this could make a good home for me? I would be living a lie.

My tears fell from my cheek to the ground. With a sigh, a plan formed into my head. But I wasn't sure if I should go along with it. I looked to Ashfur. "Well then Ashfur, if I'm not a warrior, then what am I?"

Ashfur took a step closer to me. He narrowed his eyes. "Nothing!" he sneered. He started walking away.

So it was settled. I wasn't alone. I wasn't unwanted. I was nothing.

"Wait!" I called to Ashfur. He turned. I sniffed a bit. "Ashfur can you . . ." I took a breath. "Can you tell Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather I said goodbye?"

He shrugged, but nodded. "With pleasure. Glad to know you're leaving."

I was leaving alright right. And I would probably never come back.

I intended to carry out my plan. First, I made a little stop, sitting by the trunk of an oak tree. I felt it's soft but rough touch. It might never feel it again.

I looked up at the glowing half moon. How jealous I was of it. It was all the way up there watching me down here as I suffered. I thought of the Spirits. They didn't have to suffer like I did. All they did was lunge in their spirit world and gave life to the creatures of the earth.

"Why?"

I let the wind carry out the word in its breeze until it faded away. As my voice trailed off, I became angry. That's what they wanted. They wanted me to just fade. All of them. Firestar-maybe even all of ThunderClan-, Mother Gana, the Spirits, my ex-friends, my school, even my parents. They all wanted me gone.

I looked up at the moon again. "Why!" I shouted as loud as my vocal cords would let me. "Why give me a life that would useless!"

Useless. Now that's what I was. Useless. I guess it's all I ever was, and would've been.

With this finally thought in my head, I took a long deep breath. I headed over to edge of ThunderClan, right to half-bridge, about a foot away from the ShadowClan border.

I walked up to the bank of the lake. The dark water in the lake didn't really look like water. I looked like a portal. A portal to a peaceful world where all stress and sorrow won't exist. I hope that's where it'll take me.

I lowered my head, and took a drink. The cool liquid traveled down my throat. It felt relaxing.

I closed my eyes. I pictured life before all this madness occurred. Mary, Rachel, Mark, Bill, Tom, and I all hanging out, laughing, joking with each other. I would miss those.

Next, I picture me riding by the lake, the hooves of the horse hitting the earth and the cool breeze kissing my cheek. I would miss these as well.

I then thought of Mother Gana. Despite her getting angry at me, she was helpful. She changed my life and taught me things that have been extremely helpful to me. I was grateful dearly for her. Indeed, I would miss her too.

The next thought that popped up was one of me and my parents. It was on the day we were celebrating Holi, the festival of color, last year. My mom had brought colorful powder. We all dressed in white and headed out to my cousins' house. We ran around their yard throwing the powder on each other, turning out white clothes into rainbows. That was one of the only moments in my life where I felt my parents loved me.

Finally, I pictured the ThunderClan. I saw all my friends from there. I would miss a lot of them. They liked me, and I liked them. But Ashfur was right, I could never be one of them. Shame. Until now they were my second family. I would miss them the most.

I stood there on the bank and cried. My tears kept pouring and pouring. I was gonna let them come. There was no stopping them now. I had to get them all out before I did this.

They were all out. I was now ready.

I placed a paw into the water. It was freezing in the cold night. I placed another. There was muddy slope I could walk. I walked it, the cold water starting to cover my body.

Before I could place my head underwater, I tumbled on a rock. I went completely under. Moonlight made the dark water light in some spots. Little bubbles of air came from my mouth as my body slowly sank down.

As air ran low in my lungs I kicked my legs in the horrible I got. Drowning truly was a bad way to die. But I knew it would soon end.

The lights that shined in the lake began to turn black in my eyes. I began to lose the feeling in my body. My eyes were slowly closing. My body began to stiff. I was ready for death to take me.

Just before everything went black, something began to tug me. I was being pulled up to the surface. The only things I saw before I lost consciousness were jet-black paws, and a pair of emerald green eyes.

A/N: I have but one simple request: If you're going to criticize please don't be too hard. Thanks. (btw, this isn't the end of the story just to let you guys know)