A/N: Thanks very much to everybody who reviewed and to the people who have put this story on alert or on their favourites list.
Thanks again to my sister for proofreading and editing this chapter.
I will be updating relatively quickly for the next week or so.
Disclaimer: Besides Natalie and Kalissa, I own zero percent of the Harry Potter wizarding world.
Chapter 8- Unfamiliar Feelings
The first weeks of school were going well. Extremely well by Natalie's standards. She had a good friend in Harry and somewhat friends in Ron and Hermione who were slowly beginning to warm up to her. She and Hermione were competing for top marks in all their classes; though Natalie felt she had the slighter edge because of the ability Kalissa had instilled in her to carefully analyze and take apart any problem.
Natalie had sent two letters to Kalissa, of which she received very lengthy responses. Kalissa was hiding in some extremely secretive location that Dumbledore had arranged. She still managed to keep up with all the news in the wizarding world as well as the Order's and Voldemort's latest plans. And of course judging by the number of exclamations in those letters, Kalissa had not lost her lively, energetic attitude.
There were still some things that troubled Natalie. Her name, that had generated much anger, shock and fear, now aroused suspicion, curiosity and jealousy. She had befriended Harry Potter, a celebrity in the school. Logically, Natalie found herself at the center of the school's gossip and rumors. Last year, Harry had said that almost the entire school had dismissed him as some sort of attention seeking maniac. So Natalie did not care much for her reputation in the school. She felt comfortable and relaxed; a position that seemed unattainable at the beginning of the summer.
"Quidditch is awfully popular this year," commented Harry at breakfast the morning of Quidditich tryouts. Natalie was not particularly fond of the sport but Hogwarts had a reputation for harnessing some of the most prodigious Quidditch talent so she would see.
"Oh come on, Harry," said Hermione, suddenly impatient. "It's not Quidditch that's popular, it's you! You've never been more interesting and frankly; you've never been more fanciable."
Ron gagged on a large piece of kipper while Natalie almost spat out her tea.
"Everyone knows you've been telling the truth now, don't they? The whole Wizarding world has had to admit that you were right about Voldemort being back and they all know you've fought him 4 times now and survived. You can even still see the marks on the back of your hand where Umbridge made you write with your blood…"
"You can still see where those brains got hold of me in the Ministry, look," interjected Ron, shaking back his sleeves.
"And it doesn't hurt that you've grown about a foot over the summer either," finished Hermione.
"I'm tall," said Ron inconsequentially.
Natalie smirked at Ron's blatant jealousy. In the last few weeks, Natalie could see that Ron and Hermione had definite sexual tension. But Hermione's very favourable description of Harry had evoked a wave of anxiety within Natalie's body. She could not stop shaking her legs.
Hermione turned to Natalie. "Natalie, you're the other girl here. Don't you agree that Harry's the one generating all this buzz and excitement?"
"Of course, he's very handsome and charming," blurted Natalie, almost in a defensive tone. Natalie blushed immensely and focused on stabbing her eggs. She did not know what had caused her to make such an awkward, unusual comment. Harry too turned a very deep red, keeping his head firmly focused on the ceiling. Hermione raised her eyebrows at the two of them while an oblivious and disgruntled Ron continued eating his food.
"What I meant to say is that Hermione's right. You are very fanciable, Harry this year, partly because of all the mystery regarding the Chosen One. But from what I've gathered the last few weeks, you've always generated some sort of emotion in this school. I guess, be grateful now that the fame is finally working for you," added Natalie hastily in a feeble attempt to correct her previous comment.
Hermione looked slightly appeased but still surveyed Natalie and Harry suspiciously.
As they walked down to the Quidditch grounds, Lavender Brown said hello to Ron in a much too friendly way. Seeing Ron jolted and rejuvenated by this greeting, Hermione proceeded to coldly walk ahead without bothering to wish Ron a good luck.
"Those two aren't that subtle, are they?" muttered Natalie to Harry.
Harry grinned. "Never have been. I'll see you later. Hope this doesn't take too long."
Natalie nodded. "Look's like half the school came to these tryouts. You got your work cut out, Harry."
As she watched the tryouts, Natalie reflected on the strange encounter this morning. Her excited, abrupt response to Hermione's depiction of Harry was certainly unexpected. Looking back, Natalie noticed several times in his presence where she appeared very flustered and childish. And she always blushed afterwards. Not the typical type of embarrassment, but more of a confusion that had somehow managed to ingrain itself in her subconscious. Having read many, many books and seen too many Muggle movies, one conclusion came to the forefront of her mind.
"Demelza is a very good flyer, isn't she?" remarked Hermione to Natalie, disrupting Natalie's thoughts. Natalie looked upwards to see the fifth year Gryffindor girl throwing a Quaffle into one of the hoops.
"Yeah," mumbled Natalie, still immersed in her own pool of thoughts. Could she possibly have a crush on Harry Potter? She was confident that she did not suffer from the same foolish infatuation that seemed to wash over the giggly and irrational girls in the school. Since she had met Harry, she had taken an intense but seemingly not romantic interest in him. Could this fascination possibly have its roots in some type of fondness?
Suddenly, Natalie noticed Hermione take out her wand. Cormac McLaggen, a hopeful for the spot of Gryffindor Keeper, was conducting his trial in front of them. "Hey, what are you doing?" asked Natalie worriedly.
"Didn't you hear what he said about Ginny and Ron?" said Hermione, pointing angrily at McLaggen.
Natalie did not know whether to laugh or appear worried. "Yeah, he made some nasty comments but you can't hex him. It's against the school rules and not to mention that he's at least 30 feet above the ground."
Hermione looked at McLaggen with a sly grin on her face. "Who said anything about hexing him?"
"What?"
Before Natalie could do anything, Hermione had silently confounded McLaggen. A blank, unreadable expression appeared on his face. Irritated and astonished as she was with Hermione, Natalie could not help but admire the girl's efficient spellwork.
"Hermione! You know how dangerous that is. If someone saw you…"
"Nobody did and you can't say that he didn't have it coming."
Natalie did not bother contesting the last remark. McLaggen completely missed the last shot taken on him. Ron was next. Despite his extremely neurotic state in the morning, Ron managed to keep his nerve and save all five shots. Natalie supposed since he and McLaggen were the only two going for Keeper that Ron had earned the position.
Hermione did too. Before Natalie could turn her head, Hermione was running down onto the pitch, her hands flying and a huge smile on her face. Natalie saw Lavender Brown walk off grumpily with her friends. Ron looked like a complete goofball, grinning at the rest of the team and at Hermione. Natalie shook her head, marveling at the almost unnecessary and turbulent complexity of Ron and Hermione's relationship.
After all the congratulations had been said and the tryouts finished, the other three wanted to pay Hagrid a visit. Natalie, though she and the Care of Magical Creatures Teacher had been on good terms throughout the summer, needed to head back and contemplate on these feelings for Harry.
"Er guys. Just remembered. I need to get a book from the library. It's an advanced Transfiguration book that I really want to read and it's always out. Anyway I saw Hagrid a lot during the summer. I'll meet up with you in supper." Natalie was partially telling the truth; she did want to read the book.
Ron rolled his eyes. "Geez you're almost as bad as Hermione."
"See you later," said Harry. Both Ron and Hermione nodded at her as well.
While she walked to the library, Natalie engulfed herself once again in her thorough self examination. With Harry, she felt at ease. They could joke, jest, talk about serious topics like Voldemort or merely random things like chocolate frogs or Dumbledore's oddities. She could not pretend that she did not enjoy his presence. He filled her with a burst of energy and anticipation. Whether that characterized romantic feelings, Natalie did not know. She always thought a crush to be an obsession with a person not like the fascination she held for Harry. She seemed to view him as a mysterious, unique stranger.
Yet, they were not intimate at all like he was with Ron and Hermione. So these feelings could not be well grounded or have any genuine strength. Their relationship was only a few weeks old. With a lurch, Natalie became aware that she had become guilty of the dramatic, self absorbed behavior that she detested in other girls. She knew she just would have to wait and see.
Natalie entered the library, walking to the secluded spot where her book was located. Once she turned a corner, she came across Ginny and her boyfriend embroiled in a passionate encounter. They were lying against one of the shelves, Ginny on Dean's lap, kissing intensely. Dean's buttons were undone and his hands were having a complete tour of Ginny's body.
"Oh no, sorry!" cried Natalie in a high pitched voice as she abruptly staggered backward.
Both immediately stopped and stood up. Ginny shot Natalie a malevolent look.
"Sorry. I didn't know- I wouldn't have- honestly, I needed a book…" spluttered Natalie apologetically, quite shocked.
"Mind your own business. Thought you'd come and scold us, did you?" said Ginny scathingly.
A layer of coolness enveloped Natalie. She could see that Ginny still bore an extremely strong grudge against her. There was no point for her to engage Ginny in any more of an argument. But Ginny's comments infuriated her.
"Honestly, I needed a book from this section… about Transfiguration," said Natalie weakly, looking away from the flushed looks on both of their faces and the disheveled states of their robes.
"Oh really, did you?" retorted Ginny sharply.
"Why else would I be in the library?" said Natalie defensively, lifting her eyes to meet Ginny's angry glare. "In fact, it's the two of you who shouldn't be doing this type of thing in the back corner of the library. I'm surprised Pince did not notice either of you."
"Listen, Ginny. Come on. Let's go," muttered Dean, glancing warily at Natalie.
Ginny stepped away from Dean's grip, looking even more furious. "I'm not falling for that innocent act-
"What innocent act?" interjected Natalie harshly, her temper rising.
Ginny scratched her chin in mock thought. "Wait, let me see. Surely you must have heard us when you were approaching and yet you still somehow managed to walk straight into us."
"My mind was pre-occupied," muttered Natalie, trying to keep a blush from appearing on her face.
"What a load of rubbish!" said Ginny vehemently.
Dean placed another hand on Ginny's arm. "Come on Ginny, ignore her."
Ginny pushed off Dean's hand once again, her entire face completely red. "No, Dean. Little Miss Malkae here thinks she can have a nice go at us with nobody watching."
"Oh yes," snapped Natalie, letting the sarcasm saturate her voice. "I so desperately want to resume our duel. I just can't wait to send another 'Aeronaugio' at you in the library of all places."
"Waiting to try some dark magic on me, aren't you?" sneered Ginny, moving closer to Natalie so their faces were only inches apart. "I bet your family taught you some very useful spells over the summer."
Natalie, even though her heart pounded against her chest, tried to keep her voice cool and low. "Honestly, how thick is your head? I really do wonder at your logic. If Dumbledore and McGonagall are good friends with my mother, then in your view, I must be a future Death Eater. For the last time, get rid of any misconceptions," said Natalie, this time with only a trace of sarcasm. She added more seriously, "I don't actually enjoy fighting with you. So let's just come to a truce and move past it."
Ginny blinked disbelievingly. The blazing glare on her face did not disappear but Natalie thought she saw a slight frown flicker upon her face. "I'll believe you when I have some first hand proof. Come on Dean, we have better things to do."
Ginny latched onto Dean's arm and walked out of the library. Natalie, still trembling, tried to appease herself by opening the book she had been gripping tightly in her hand. Yet, she could not channel her attention towards the passage about modifying Vanishing spells. The unpleasant and very unsettling image of a triumphant Ginny pointing a wand directly at her with Harry behind Ginny, looking at Natalie coldly, dominated her mind. She let out a breath she did not know she was holding. Challenging Arithmancy problems would be the best suppressor of the emotional turbulence that was becoming increasingly chaotic within her.
She quickly walked to the table at the back of the library, away from any curious glares or smirks. To her satisfaction and surprise, the Arithmancy problems, though very frustrating, managed to divert her mind away from the red haired girl who had suddenly morphed into a dangerous enemy. She briefly thought that she should eat supper but the fight with Ginny had thoroughly extinguished her appetite. There was always the option of seeking out the house elves later for some snacks before she went to sleep.
Someone tapped her on her shoulders. Natalie jerked her entire body around, her hand around her wand and her mouth twisted into a snarl. She fully expected Ginny to return for another contentious argument. But to her surprise and pleasure, she saw Harry gazing at her worriedly.
"What's wrong? Bit jumpy, aren't you?"
Natalie regained her composure, running a hand through her hair to hide the blush on her face. "Sorry. I just get excited when I'm studying. So how was Hagrid?"
"A bit angry about how none of us took his classes. But we managed to cheer him up eventually by bashing Grubby-Plank."
Natalie smiled. "Where's the rest of the dynamic trio?"
"Prefect meeting. Lasts all night," said Harry in a bored way.
A rush of anticipation filled Natalie. She had an entire night alone with Harry.
"By the way, I know you're lying about studying making you so edgy. At supper, I overheard Ginny complaining to Dean about how you are er so rude and snobbish."
Natalie glared at him furiously. "What? I happened to let's say interrupt them in a very passionate moment. And I was very courteous to Ginny. But being her usual closed minded self, she said some nasty things to me which I couldn't but help return. So don't believe the load of waffle she's probably giving the rest of the Common Room."
Harry looked quite amused. "Calm down, will you? You're just like Hermione. I never said I believed Ginny. So a passionate moment, eh? Don't tell Ron that. He might just explode."
Natalie still was perturbed at the thought of Harry believing Ginny's comments. "I hope you do realize that I didn't start the fight. She just has to assume that I'm some sort of crazed Death Eater that is out to attack you."
"Don't worry. I know you didn't start the fight." Harry frowned. "But she isn't the type to keep a stereotype like that. I'm sure her little grudge against you will fade once she realizes your 'duel' in the common room was an accident. She is a good person, after all."
Natalie snorted. "Stop defending her, will you? It doesn't matter whether she is a good person deep down or at heart. She's behaving like how you would picture the typical Gryffindor. All brawn and no brains."
"Now, look who's making stereotypes. I wasn't defending her actions. I'm just saying her behavior is unexpected," said Harry defensively.
Natalie sighed. This entire discussion was exhausting her. She needed some friendly comfort and not another spat, especially with Harry. "I suppose you're right. But remember that I'm not trying to pick fights with anybody here."
Harry mockingly raised his eyebrows at her. "You, the person who sent Ginny Weasley hurtling across room on the first night of school, is not picking fights? If that's true, then I'm not Harry Potter."
Natalie playfully shoved him. "I'll start a fight with you if you don't get rid of that stupid smirk."
Harry sat down next to her. "So what are you doing?"
"Arithmancy."
Harry shook his head. "Just like Hermione. I suppose pleasure for you is trying to make your brain explode because of too much thinking."
Natalie gave him a kick under the table. "You should try it, you know, thinking? It might actually help you beat Voldemort."
Harry gave a large gasp of pain. "Bloody hell. That hurts. Who in the hell taught you to kick like that?"
"My mother. Hey, give that back!" exclaimed Natalie as Harry grabbed her Arithmancy textbook.
"You know, I never really understood the big deal about Arithmancy. Just maths for wizards," said Harry airily, holding the book away from a frantically reaching Natalie.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" hissed Natalie.
The book rose out of a surprised Harry's hand, hovering over his head.
"You wouldn't dare?" said Harry in amazement.
"Try me, Potter," said Natalie deviously.
"Oi! Madam Pince," gasped Harry, pointing towards the empty librarian desk.
"What?" asked Natalie in alarm. She was quite scared of the stern looking librarian. As she swiveled her head to look at the librarian's desk, Harry pulled the book out of midair and elbowed Natalie, causing her to slip and fall onto the floor.
"Potter and Miss Malkae, stop that foolish behavior at once. I'll have you two in detention for a week if you cannot control yourselves," hissed Madam Pince who had suddenly appeared behind them.
Natalie quickly lifted herself from the ground. She and Harry sat onto chairs, nodding at Pince. As the librarian snaked away, both exchanged amused glances with one another.
"I'm always amazed at how she manages to move so quietly," said Natalie, shaking her head in mock amazement.
"Bloody annoying, if you ask me. She could play Quidditch with those hawk like instincts," muttered Harry disdainfully.
"Oh yeah, that reminds me. How was Quidditch tryouts?" asked Natalie curiously, wondering if Hermione had described to him about her parlaying of the Keeper position.
"You were there."
"I know. But quite a lot of people showed up. And that McLaggen was pretty nasty. Good for Ron that he got through."
"Definitely," said Harry, looking at her suspiciously.
"I mean, Hermione was getting quite nervous."
"You know about her Confundus charm." It was a statement, not a question.
Natalie grinned. "Pretty shocking that she would do it."
"I felt the same. But it's not like she's going to take points away from herself," said Harry snidely.
"I bet she already has."
Harry laughed. "Yeah. But you should have seen Ron. The entire time to Hagrid's hut, he was talking about his saves to her."
"Amazing that she doesn't notice, isn't it?"
"Well, yeah, they are pretty thick around each other. You should have been here in fourth year."
"Why? What happened?" asked Natalie curiously.
"You know-Viktor Krum-the famous Quidditch star? He came to the school for the Triwizard Tournament and for the Yule Ball that year, he asked Hermione to be his partner."
"Wow! You serious? Well, what did she say?" asked a completely bewildered, but somewhat excited Natalie.
Harry nodded. "She said yes. Apparently, he had been working up the courage to ask her for a few weeks. Neither me or Ron knew about who her partner was until that day."
"Can see why she would want to keep it secret," remarked Natalie thoughtfully. "But then again, for Ron to see her with Viktor Krum of all people at the ball must have been quite a surprise."
Harry's smirk grew even bigger. "Shock is a better word. The entire time at the ball, he was watching her dance with Krum. They had a huge fight that night. He accused her of 'fraternizing the enemy' and she basically told him to ask her first next time and not as 'last resort'."
Natalie laughed. "Honestly, 'fraternizing with the enemy'? How lame can you get? But Hermione's comment must have really hit him hard."
Harry's smirk turned into a gradual frown. "I think it did. Since then, they've been slightly awkward and tense around one another. Been more awkward this year but they've also gotten closer."
"It will work out. I don't think any one of them will enjoy being with another person," stated Natalie confidently.
"So I gather fourth year was a pretty memorable year? I mean you being part of the tournament, Hermione being asked to the ball by Krum and Voldemort returning," asked Natalie tentatively. With Harry's reminiscence about the Triwizard Tournament, a sudden excitement spread through Natalie to learn more about his very notorious experiences that year. She did not want to seem overly curious for the fear of antagonizing him. Her last phrase, nevertheless, induced Harry to bow his head, his eyebrows to cringe and his face to regain that somber frown.
Harry smiled at her grimly. "I guess your mother has told you about my adventures. It was a pretty interesting year, fourth year. But so is every other year for me." His words contained the pressures and worries of more than one person.
An intense desire filled Natalie to wrap her hands around the obviously strained and wearisome person in front of her. Instead, she tried to twist his adventures into a positive experience. "Those adventures are pretty exciting. You should be proud to have defied Voldemort so many times."
Harry raised his eyebrow. "I thought you were against this entire 'Chosen One', 'Boy who Lived' thing."
"No, even though I do think they exaggerate when they say you are the only one who can defeat him, what you have done is incredible. Not even Dumbledore has probably angered or scared Voldemort as much."
Harry laughed. To Natalie's relief, his laugh had much more brightness and strength to it. "I don't think I can scare Voldemort that much."
Natalie shook her head in disbelief. "Oh come on Harry. You basically almost killed him when you were a baby. He must be terribly frightened that the same thing could happen again with you as a much more powerful, matured wizard."
Harry stared at her in amazement. "Natalie, he's not afraid of me. It's more that he wants to kill me like swatting a troublesome fly. Anyway, when I go against him, it's not like I'm determined to kill or defeat him. He wants to kill me and all I want to do is survive."
Natalie held Harry's gaze firmly. His modesty again seemed to make him even more endearing and fascinating to her. "Listen to me Harry. You've done great things. You may have been lucky but obviously your courage or 'your will to survive' is extremely strong. So just be proud of yourself instead of hating yourself for being Voldemort's enemy."
Harry appeared slightly mollified and astounded at being addressed in this assertive, stern manner. "Thanks. I do not hate myself by the way. I just do not like being the number one person on his list to kill. But I'm not unhappy about it either. It's something I have to deal with. He killed my parents and I would not have it any other way if I wasn't the one to finish him."
Natalie gazed at him in admiration. His previous shyness and bitterness had concealed this calm and resilient attitude. He truly did embody the ceaseless determination Dumbledore had first described to her. "That's quite brave. You deserve much more credit from me at the very least."
Harry's face went a bright red. "Thanks," he mumbled.
Natalie decided to switch the mood to a much more lighthearted, playful one. "So I guess I should be calling you the Chosen fly, from now on?"
Harry grinned with his familiar exuberance. "You know, the Chosen one jokes are losing their humour?"
"Only to you."
"Trust me. You need to become more creative."
"More creative? Ha! You're the one who cannot figure out a reverse spell without looking at my notes."
"That's not creativity. That's just studying. By the way, speaking of studying, I do need help with that essay on reverse spells for Transfiguration."
"Please go ask Hermione for that."
"Why? You're just as good."
"Please don't flatter me." Still, Natalie's face flushed at the compliment.
"Come on, Natalie. You're here right now. I would have to wait for Hermione till after their meeting, tear her away from Ron while at the same time, hoping that he already has not asked her for her essay."
"I'll give to you on the condition that next time, you learn to do your own work and get off that lazy arse."
"It's not lazy. Just stupid."
"I'll shove my wand up there if you don't stop with the stupid comments."
"Ok ok, just let me see the essay. No need to get so testy."
Natalie handed him her essay, shaking her head in a carefully designed imitation of Hermione.