"and I suppose it would be too much to ask for you to at least put the woodlice in some sort of sealed container..."
Sherlock opened his eyes. He was still on the kitchen chair though Greg had somehow managed to get him into his dressing gown without him noticing. That was very impressive. He would need to find an appropriate way to thank him. While John had returned home to find him naked before it normally ended up in some sort of rant about the cleanliness of the sofa cushions or "scaring the b'jesus out of the one woman I've got back here in months!" Sherlock smiled. The look on the woman's face had been entirely worth the twenty minute harangue he'd suffered as a result.
"Ah, back in the land of the living are we now?"
"What time is it?"
"Six thirty, and now I'm going to be late to meet David because the bread I was going to toast for my tea is covered in woodlice."
"No it's not"
"Sherlock have you opened the bread bin recently?"
"They're not woodlice, they're weevils. There was a suspicious death aboard a ship in the 1700s, I needed to find out how long a breeding set of weevils..."
"Enough! I'm off out, I'll get something on the way."
"Wait wait wait"
"What?"
"Do you like David?"
John rolled his eyes. "I would think with your massive intellect you would be able to deduce that Sherlock."
"No, I mean, it's not just sex, this is a relationship, you care about him, he's your "boyfriend"."
"I heard the quotes around that word."
"You're changing the subject."
"Yes I am."
"John look at me."
John turned. Sherlock was sitting with a robe loosely bunched round him (he imagined he had Greg to thank for not being confronted yet again by a naked consulting detective when he opened the kitchen door), his hair all over the place and his serious face on. If it weren't so irritating it would be incredibly endearing.
"I am genuinely trying to understand human relationships. You have suggested I make more effort to do this for a long time. Why won't you help me?"
John glanced down at his watch.
"Okay, you have ten minutes before I absolutely have to leave. Shoot."
"Shoot what?"
"Ask your questions Sherlock."
"Okay, do you care about David?"
"Yes, of course."
"He's important to you?"
John smiled "Yes, he is."
"Then why haven't I met him?"
John was genuinely shocked. Sherlock had to be virtually nailed to a chair to meet his previous girlfriends.
"Why do you want to meet him?"
"Isn't that what one does? When a relationship moves past the first few dates you introduce them to your friends."
"I suppose so."
"Then when can I meet him? Tonight?"
"Tonight? No way."
"Why not, why does the timing make any difference?"
Because, thought John, I need to warn him about you. But If there was anyone who could stand up to your level of scrutiny...
JW to DM: Sherlock would like to meet you (!), do you mind? Meet at mine?
DM to JW: I'm honoured! Of course, see you there in half an hour
"Okay Sherlock, he's on his way. Be nice."
"Of course." Sherlock grinned. He wasn't sure if what he was about to do would be considered entirely good practice amongst the more traditionally moral but he was sure John would thank him in the end for bringing the situation to a head. His general poor performance in social conventions recently would also give him plausible deniability when confronted.
SH to GL: 221b 45 mins?
GL to SH: This better be to bloody apologise.
SH to GL: I have thought of a very inventive way of doing so
GL to SH: Why does that make me nervous? Okay, see you then.
Sherlock grinned. This David person would surely be a poor substitute for Greg, it was Greg John wanted in the first place. Once John had the opportunity to compare them side by side he would pick Greg and everyone would be happy. Sherlock supposed he would have to find someone else to have sex with (the experiment so far had been a roaring success) but how hard could that be? He cocked an eyebrow at himself in the mirror and threw his shoulders back. Yes, no problem at all.