Chapter 13

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Rose stared out the window of the Hospital Wing, eyes far from the drifting snow. She'd been confined to her bed for three days now, and the boredom was driving her mental. Oh, there was plenty of schoolwork—her tests were approaching almost terrifyingly quickly—but she could only focus on the correct uses of a Grimaulki's eye for so long before her eyelids started to fall. She sighed. And without the Doctor, spending time on homework had lost whatever appeal it had once had.

Donna'd been in to visit her several times with Ginny and Hermione stopped by between classes and meetings, but the Doctor had been conspicuously missing, from the beaten-up rubber soles of his trainers to his messy hair. Donna had looked nervous every time she'd brought him up, so Rose stopped eventually.

It wasn't like she'd been injured protecting him, the wanker.

She sighed again, reveling in the anger and the self-pity. At least this way it didn't hurt so much.

Someone cleared their throat at the foot of her bed, and Rose turned to see Martha standing there. She blinked. "Oh. Hi, Martha."

The other girl smiled uncertainly. "Hello. I heard about what happened, and thought I'd stop by."

"Thanks." There was a long, uncomfortable silence, and Martha let out a heavy breath and dropped into the chair at Rose's bedside. Rose stared. It was so unlike the usually calm, collected Martha—she'd tried to be nice to her, really she had, but there was something almost frightening in the other girl's control.

Martha cleared her throat. "So he finally got to you, then."

Rose shook her head a little, feeling utterly lost. "Who did?"

"Koschei Rosier, the little weasel. He's gone after all of us, one time or another, but he's usually more careful about not leaving any marks."

"It wasn't technically him, really—and what do you mean by us?"

"The Doctor's friends. Any time he gets close to somebody, Koschei makes a pet project out of hurting them. Nyssa Traken, from Ravenclaw? She used to be one of the Doctor's best friends, until Koschei got to her little brother Adric. Nothing could ever be traced to him, but he made sure she knew why. She hasn't spoken to the Doctor in years."

Rose swallowed. "I heard about what happened to you, last year. I'm so sorry."

Martha looked down, a small, bitter smile, curling her mouth. "Hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, yeah?"

Rose laughed awkwardly. "I hope so."

There was another awkward silence, and Martha cleared her throat. "So yeah, I just wanted to check in on you." She stood and paused, fiddling with her hands. It made her look surprisingly young, and Rose remembered with a start that Martha was the same age she was. "I just... I hope this doesn't make you rethink being friends with the Doctor. He's lost too many friends, and I think you mean a lot to him."

Rose blinked away sudden tears. "Thanks, but you could've fooled me."

"What do you mean?"

She smiled bitterly. "I haven't seen so much as a hair of 'im, and you know how hard it is to miss that mess."

Martha blinked, disconcerted, but she smiled bravely anyway. "I'm sure he'll show up soon."

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He didn't.

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"Sweetheart! Oh, let me look at you! I've missed you so much!" Rose ducked her head as her mother swept her up in her arms, wrinkling her nose against the heavy scent of Jackie's perfume.

The semester was over, her last week passing in a haze of last-minute testing and loneliness that even Captain Jack's constant cuddling couldn't ease. Her classmates were more hostile than ever—Rose sometimes felt as if the points she'd lost Gryffindor were tattooed on her skin. Hermione, Ginny, and Donna had managed to get her to the Hospital Wing without running into any teachers, but Madam Pomfrey had to be told how Rose had gotten her legs crushed, and then the points went flying off like chaff in the wind. Rose had never seen the nurse that angry before, and she wasn't in a hurry to see it again.

The ride back to London had been an awkward one, with Donna's forced cheer filling their train car. Martha had been quietly sympathetic, and Hermione just curled up in the corner with a book, but Rose had felt her eyes on her more than once. Hermione had been a lifesaver, the last week—she helped Rose study for her last tests and spent her free time with the younger girl when the rest of Gryffindor Tower was giving her a cold shoulder.

Donna had snorted a little when Rose mentioned it. "It's not like she'd be surprised by how thick the unwashed masses can be, having the friends she has." At Rose's curious look, she shrugged. "Let's just say Harry wasn't always a hero to the other students."

Rose stepped back from Jackie, smiling to soften the worry that she saw in her mother's eyes. "C'mon, let's get the luggage, yeah?"

"Don't you have friends to say goodbye to?"

"Already done, Mum. Let's go." She pushed her way back through the crowd of families to the luggage car, tightening her rucksack's straps on her shoulders and keeping Captain Jack firmly ensconced in her arms. She'd just found her trunk and was pulling it out when Donna burst into the car, panting a little.

"There you are! Finally, I've been lookin' all over for you. Just wanted to give you this, before you went—" she turned around, but the doorway behind her was empty. Rose tightened her lips as Donna froze. The redhead spun around, glaring into the air. "Where did he…? Of all the stubborn, thick-headed morons—"

"It's okay, Donna. Really." Rose forced a smile at the other girl, blinking away tears of frustration. "Happy Christmas, yeah?"

Donna bit her lip and gave Rose a quick squeeze, her eyes unaccountably guilty. "Happy Christmas, Rose."

Rose handed Captain Jack to her mother and settled her trunk on a small pushcart, waving goodbye to Ginny and Hermione. An average-sized bloke with a dense mess of black hair and thick-framed specs had his arms wrapped around Ginny, and Rose's eyes widened as she realized that she'd just waved at Harry Potter. A tall-ish red-headed man was standing next to Hermione, wide smiles on both their faced—he must be Ron Weasley. Donna passed them, chatting happily with Martha, and something fell in Rose's stomach. They all had somebody to share this with, and she was going back to weeks on end of no magic and a mother that didn't want her at Hogwarts.

Jackie's voice broke into her thoughts. "Well, come on, then. I borrowed a car from Ted who lives two floors up, you remember him, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

The drive to the Powell Estate was quiet—Jackie would occasionally speak up, but Rose's monosyllabic responses didn't exactly make for easy conversation. They pulled up to the curb and Rose jumped out, yanking her luggage out of the boot of the car and walking quickly over to the elevator. A middle-aged woman in a lime green tracksuit bustled up to her, cheeks bright from too much makeup.

"Rosie! Oh, let me look at you! Jackie, why didn't you tell me Rosie was turnin' into such a knockout? Bet you drive the boys wild, huh?" She winked broadly at Rose, who forced herself to smile and jabbed the elevator call button again. "So, how's life up in Scotland, sweetheart? Must be a change comin' back to good old London town."

"A bit, yeah." Rose sighed in relief as the elevator slid open, and she hastily stepped inside. "Sorry, I'm kinda tired. See you later, Bev."

Fifteen minutes later she was firmly wrapped up in her bedclothes, staring miserably at the bright pink walls of her bedroom. They were almost exactly the same shade as her bag, and she sniffled back tears as she remembered the Doctor's exasperated fondness as he insisted on cleaning it for her.

Her door slammed open. "Rose Marion Tyler, there may be something on your mind, but if you refuse to tell me about it, then don't you dare take it out on me or Bev!" Jackie was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed.

"Just leave me alone, Mum."

"I will not. What happened to the girl who used to come to me with every scraped knee?" Her voice broke, and Rose sat up to see the tears in her mother's eyes. "You go on off to that school of yours, an' when you come back… even when you're sittin' in front of me, I can't find you."

Rose sniffed. "'M right here, Mum."

"Yeah? Then let me see you." Rose's face crumpled, and Jackie stepped over the pile of outerwear on the floor to reach Rose's bed, sitting beside her and pulling her into her arms. "Oh, sweetheart, what happened?"

"I just… I thought it was worth it, all the looks and the sneers and the pranks, 'cause I had him, an' that was enough. I guess he didn't think the same." She closed her eyes and began to cry for the first time since the accident in the dungeon, Jackie rocking her gently as she murmured words of comfort.

By the time her sobs had turned to sniffles, Rose was resting her head on her mother's lap as Jackie ran a hand gently through her hair. She cleared her throat. "This 'him'—it was that Doctor bloke, right?" At Rose's look, she rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, it's not that much of a jump. He's been all over your letters this year, oh the Doctor this, the Doctor that. Always thought it seemed a bit full of himself, goin' by 'the Doctor'. Who does he think he is, anyway? He's no sort of person if he broke my daughter's heart."

Rose flushed. "Mum, it's not like we were goin' out, or anything."

Jackie sighed and looked down, her grey eyes sad. "No, but you love him. I'm sorry you had to learn how much that can hurt."

"I didn't… we never…" She shut her eyes and curled up into a ball. Her whisper barely carried through the purple sheets. "I love him so much, Mum."

Jackie brushed a hand over Rose's hair and sighed. "It hurts like hell when you don't have the person you loved anymore. But even if he's gone, you're still here. So live for Rose Tyler, an' things will get better eventually."

Rose sat up slowly, running the back of her hand roughly over her tear-stained cheeks. "You're right, Mum."

"'Course I am. Now c'mon, what you need is a nice cuppa tea. You'll never guess what Bev told me Marge from the corner apartment's been doin' in her spare time—"

Rose smiled and looked down at Captain Jack as her mother's voice drifted off into the kitchen, and she tightened her jaw and nodded to herself. Yes, the Doctor wasn't beside her anymore, but he wasn't going to break her. She was on Christmas break, and it was going to be a good one.

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