Chapter 15

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"Are you sure you can get to the train all right, Rose? I'd go along, but Marie down at the salon cut my hours, and I've got work in twenty minutes—"

Rose rolled her eyes and finished latching her trunk. "I'll be fine, Mum. Managed it last time, didn't I?"

Jackie bit her lip. "If you're sure…"

"I am, Mum." Rose smiled and hugged her mother, sighing a little. It had been good to be home for a bit, to relax somewhere that wasn't so complicated. Shireen had teased her for three days about her New Year's kiss, but even though Jimmy had asked for her number, Rose hadn't given it to him. It was a good kiss—well, good kisses—but she'd had enough of charming blokes with the world in their smiles. She was ready to go back to school, to face the complicated mess she'd left behind. After all, she was a Tyler woman—they didn't just give up when things didn't go their way. One way or another, she was going to get a clear answer from the Doctor. He couldn't avoid her forever. "I've got some money saved up, so I called a cab. Now go on, have a good day at work. I'll write you when I get there, all right?"

"All right." Jackie gave her one last squeeze and pulled her jacket on, blinking away tears. "I'll miss you, sweetheart."

Rose swung her rucksack on. "I'm just a letter away."

"It's not the same." She sighed and ran a hand through her bleach-blond hair. "All right, I'm off. I love you, Rose."

"Love you too, Mum." She dragged her luggage over to the elevator and waved as the doors slid closed, letting out a sigh and reaching down to pet Captain Jack. "Bet you'll be happy to go back, won't you? Don't think I didn't notice how you were cozyin' up to Mariana's little tabby last month." He meowed at her, and she laughed a little. "And I'm talkin' to my cat. Blimey, I can't get back to school fast enough."

The cabbie was waiting outside, and he glanced suspiciously at Captain Jack. "Right, if you're carryin' 'im, you'll need to keep a firm hold on 'im. I don't want cat hair all over my cab."

She tightened her grip in Jack. "Don't worry, I will. King's Cross, please."

The train station was bustling with people, and she settled Jack on top of her trunk once she'd gotten a pushcart for it. The change in atmosphere from September was startling—families waved goodbye easily, and the students pressed their way into the train, chattering happily about break. Rose dropped off her trunk at the back and gathered Captain Jack in her arms, peeking into the compartments as she walked down the train.

An arm came out of nowhere to wrap around Rose's shoulder and she jumped and turned to face Ginny, who was grinning down at her. "Blimey, you're a bit jumpy, aren't you? C'mon, Hermione's saving a seat for you up front."

Rose blushed and let the older girl lead her down the train. "Sorry, I just haven't had the best experiences on the train."

Ginny laughed. "It can't have been as bad as some of mine. My third year, Fred—" she paused and her face fell for a moment before she continued, her voice as determinedly cheerful as before. "My brother Fred, he slipped a voice-changing token in my pocket as we were boarding. I spent a whole fifteen minutes talking like a parrot before Hermione pointed out something was off—he'd enchanted it so that I wouldn't be able to tell, of course." She smiled reminiscently and blinked rapidly, shaking her head. "And that wasn't even the worst prank he pulled on me."

"It sounds like he really knew his way around a spell." Rose looked down. "I'm sorry you lost him."

"Yeah. Me, too. This was the first Christmas since… we're still learning how to be without him." She sighed and chuckled a little bitterly. "It's taking a while. But enough about that—how was your Christmas?"

They chatted happily until they found their compartment, and Hermione looked up with a smile. "Hello, Rose. How was your break?"

"It was good—it's great to be back, though." She curled up in the corner as they talked, watching with a smile as Captain Jack immediately started nuzzling Crookshanks. The half-kneazle had been downright hostile when he first met Jack, but he'd softened over the months while their respective owners lived together—now he actually tolerated him. Jack still got a firm cuff whenever he tried to cuddle up to Hermione, though.

Donna popped her head in the door. "'Ello, girls!" Ginny shuffled over to make room for her, and she sat down with a sigh, leaning back and closing her eyes. "Oh, that's nice. I swear, I'm still feeling New Year's." She snorted. "It's all Nerys' fault, the daft cow."

Ginny raised her eyebrows. "What did you do?"

"Let's just say I won't be tryin' a drink that literally sparkles again—ever—and leave it at that." She opened one eye and smirked at Ginny and Hermione. "Bet you two had fun over New Year's, though."

Ginny blushed and grinned like the cat that caught the canary, but Hermione's lips twisted bitterly. "I spent mine with Mum and Dad. It was… an experience." She looked down and began twisting the small golden bracelet she wore around her wrist before forcing a smile as she looked at Rose. "How was yours, Rose?"

"Y'know, I wasn't expecting much—but it was nice." She brushed a finger across her lips absently, remembering Jimmy's mischievous eyes. "It really was."

Donna perked up, the lure of gossip pulling her like a siren's song. "Oh? And what's that happy little smile about?" The door to their compartment began to roll open, and she continued. "What's his name?"

"Jimmy. Jimmy Stones." There was a muffled noise from the doorway, and they looked up to see the Doctor standing there, his eyes wide.

He swallowed heavily. "Donna, just thought you should know that our bags got switched. I'll be off, then."

Donna jumped to her feet. "Nah, I'll go check the luggage car. Better get that cleared up, eh?"

Ginny was next, and she shouldered past the Doctor easily. "I've been meaning to find Clara anyway. Got to get back that book I leant her."

Hermione gathered Crookshanks in her arms and headed out the doors, managing to push the Doctor further into their compartment. "Oh, pardon me. I've just remembered I need to talk to the prefects about schedule changes." She closed the door behind her, and the sound of the lock engaging filled the sudden quiet. The Doctor was facing the door, a look of helpless frustration on his face.

Rose lifted her chin. "Is it that hard to be alone with me?"

"Yes—no—Rose, you don't understand."

She swished her wand, and the muffling haze of a sound ward slammed up around them as she raised her voice. "You're damn right I don't!"

"Just… just let me out, okay?"

She stood and faced him, glaring up in the cramped space of the compartment. "No. Not yet. Not until I do understand, which means you'd better start talking."

He spun angrily at that, his eyes burning. "What, so the crushed legs didn't make it clear enough for you? Being around me is dangerous, Rose, and I'm not going to let you get hurt again."

Rose blinked as the confusion that had tangled her insides for the past month fell away. She groaned in exasperation. "'Let' me? Doctor, you didn't 'let' me get hurt—it just happened. I got better. Makes sense you don't remember that part, though, considerin' you weren't around to see it."

He winced, but his jaw was still clenched angrily. "Yeah, you got better this time—what about next time, though? If I—if we—how long is it until Koschei goes after you again?"

"We'll just find out, won't we?"

He reached out and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her a little. "You don't know what he's capable of, Rose! I'm not going to go along with this and pretend everything's all right when he's right there—"

Rose's hands clenched into fists. "He's already won, then, hasn't he?"

For the first time since she'd met him, the Doctor actually looked speechless. "What?"

"He doesn't even have to do anything. You're pullin' yourself apart all on your own, throwin' me away."

"Throwing you…? No, Rose! That's not it at all."

She glared up at him and raised her chin. "Well, pardon me for having a hard time reading nonexistent hints."

"Rose, you're—you mean so much to me, Rose, and if you got hurt because of me—" He swallowed heavily again, and she reached up to cup his cheek.

"Already happened, Doctor." He flinched at that and looked away, and she guided his face back to hers. "And you know what? I got better. And I don't regret it. What I do regret is you feelin' like you've got to run and hide just 'cause Koschei gets pissy about you havin' friends. You're better than him, Doctor. You can't let fear dictate your life."

"But—"

"He causes trouble, we go to somebody for help. I know Professor Smith would listen. You don't have to do this alone, Doctor. No matter how hard he tries, you're still surrounded by people that care about you." She swallowed. "People that love you."

His eyes shot back to hers, and she smiled tremulously up at him. His mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. He cleared his throat. "What about Jimmy Stones?"

"Just a midnight kiss for New Year's, nothin' more." She looked down and spoke, her voice quiet. "An' I missed you every second."

The Doctor was frozen, caught between backing away and pulling her close. Rose looked up and met his eyes. "Just answer me this, Doctor. D'you regret this?" She gestured between them. "Regret us?"

He closed his eyes and groaned in defeat, pulling Rose into his arms. His voice was muffled when he spoke, his mouth pressed against her honey-blond hair. "I don't. I really should, but… I can't."

"Well good, 'cause I don't either." She pressed back a little, looking up into his eyes. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world." Carefully, keeping her eyes locked with his the whole time, Rose edged up on her tip-toes and pressed her lips to his. He was still for a moment before he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms more tightly around her, his hands slipping down to curl around her waist.

It was chaste and sweet, nothing like Jimmy's practiced kisses on New Year's, but it was everything Rose could've hoped for. She closed her eyes and slid her arms up around his shoulders, losing herself in the careful shift of his mouth on hers.

There was a click at the door, and Rose reluctantly pulled away from the Doctor's lips to hastily dismantle the sound ward. Donna and Ginny were standing in the doorway, grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats. Ginny glanced sideways at Donna. "Told you. You owe me a Galleon."

Donna pretended to be annoyed at her, but she was smiling too widely for it to be in any way convincing. "Oh, fine. Pay you back later, all right?"

"Sure." They moved into the compartment, plopping down on the wide seats, and Ginny wiggled her eyebrows at them, mirth sparkling in her eyes. "Don't mind us."

The Doctor flushed deeply, the tips of his ears glowing bright red. "I should go—"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't be ridiculous. Where're you going to go, back to that cramped little compartment with Martin Lydecker? My word, the B.O. on that kid!"

He pursed his lips. "He can't help it, Donna!"

"Doesn't mean you have to suffer through it the whole train ride. Hermione wasn't kidding about the prefects, she's got meetings for at least the next hour. Now come on, sit with us. You've been alone too much lately."

Rose slipped her hand in his, and he tightened his grip instinctively before he looked down at her. She smiled, lopsided but honest. "Stay? I've missed you."

He smiled back at her, the tense lines of his body relaxing. "All right."

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