Who Said Emily Prentiss
Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, not me...
Summary: Dave strolls into the BAU with a big grin learning a secret about Emily, causing the team to all go and find out.
A/N: Yep, here's a new chapter, there should be a few more chapters after this. Enjoy this re-tweaked chapter.
Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.
Aristotle said, "The secret to humor is surprise."
Dave wandered into the BAU in a joyous mood, he knew something that the others didn't regarding Emily.
But he didn't know just how he was going to tell her that he knew.
And he had all this to thank to the lousy date he'd been on with a costume fitter.
Dave walked past the break room ignoring the looks from the team as he whistled into the bullpen and stopped at the brunette agent's desk and leaned down to her.
"Had a great weekend, I take it?" Dave asked smirking.
"What?" Emily asked confused looking up to see a big grin on Dave's face "What's up with you?"
"Oh, had a fabulous weekend" Dave said "Went on a date with this woman..."
"Ah" Emily said with a raised eyebrow "So that explains this goofy grin on your face. You got lucky."
"Oh, in more ways then one" Dave smirked, "So did you do anything good this weekend?"
"I went and got my car detailed" Emily raised an eyebrow at the look, "And talked to my old high school friend. Why?"
"Oh just wondering" Dave said "Do you like the theatre?"
"Depends on what the play is..." Emily said "Why?"
Hotch wandered down the catwalk watching Dave hunched over talking to Emily.
"What's so interesting?" Morgan called out when he saw the look of horror on Emily's face "What happened?"
"Nothing" Emily told him then muttered to Dave "Say anything and you'll regret it."
"Whoa" Dave said raising his hands in surrender.
"What's going on?" Hotch asked wandering over.
"Nothing" Emily said keeping her eyes on Dave, grabbing her phone out of her purse "I just need to make a quick call."
Watching Emily hurry out of the bullpen Hotch looked over at Dave "What did you do to her?"
Dave shrugged his shoulders, "Search me."
Chuckling Dave went up to his office.
Emily stood in the break room, phone glued to her ear, "What the hell are you doing?"
Hotch walked over to see JJ and Garcia eavesdropping and announced his presence silently to the two blondes.
Gasping in silence, "Jesus, heart attack much?" Garcia said quietly.
"Shh" JJ said "Listen."
"I do not want my bare naked ass on display for the world to see" Emily said causing Hotch to gulp while the blondes look over at him.
"What?" Hotch mouthed seeing them eye him and shake their heads.
"I told you not to do it" Emily said loudly "God, you are so immature."
Emily opened the door to see the shocked looks of her friends "Eavesdrop much?"
Walking past the three snoops, Emily walked back to her desk to see startled faces of Reid and Morgan look over at her.
"What's wrong?" Reid asked seeing Emily glare up at Dave's office, to her phone.
"Nothing" Emily repeated like a mantra.
"That phone call wasn't nothing" Garcia stated "You said something about your naked ass. Now spill."
"Ooh" Morgan said his interest now peaked "Now what about your fine naked ass?"
Hotch glowered at the man and his inappropriate statement.
"My ass is just fine" Emily said groaning when Dave descended from the catwalk and chuckled.
"Yes it is" Dave said looking at the three men "Seems our Emily here has a secret."
"It's not my secret" Emily said "It wasn't me."
"Now, now Emily" Dave said "Even if it wasn't you, it looked just like you..."
"What?" Hotch asked instantly regretting it when he saw the look Emily shot him.
"Have any of you ever been to the Stanton Theatre?" Dave asked the team while Emily banged her head on the desk groaning.
"No" JJ said shaking her head while the rest of the team did too.
"Seems our Emily here is headlining as one of the girls in the play" Dave said smirking.
"She's doing a play?" Garcia asked looking at Emily "You're in a play?"
"No it's not me" Emily said "It's my sister Ali."
"Oh" Morgan said "So? What's the big deal, your sister's in a play? Good for her, why does it have you so upset?"
Groaning as she inhaled a deep breath, Dave contributed "She strips down to her birthday suit."
Morgan's jaw dropped in shock, Hotch looked down at Emily with pink cheeks but JJ and Garcia shoot sympathetic looks to her.
"Your sister?" JJ said shaking her head "Oh, Em..."
"How'd she look?" Morgan asked only to get socked in the arm by Garcia "Ow, what was that for?"
"For being you" Garcia said turning her attention back to Emily "Now tell me, what can I do?"
Flashing a look to the amused looks of Morgan and Dave, 'Put them in debt to the IRS?'
"Nothing" Emily said "I talked to her, she won't leave the play, so whenever I go out now I'll wonder if they're staring at me because they saw Ali naked in a play."
Hotch stormed up to his office, deep in thought with a purpose.
Hearing the proverbial knock Hotch, said, "Come in."
"You wanted to see me?" Emily asked walking in.
"Yes, please" Hotch said walking over to her, "Are you ok?"
"Yeah" Emily said feeling Hotch embrace her "You know my sister..."
A wry chuckle escaped his lips "Well at least she isn't using your name."
"Nope, Ali wants the world to know it's her" Emily said letting out a sighed laugh "That's Ali for you always has to make an appearance. That's why she chose to do acting."
Hotch looked into the bullpen, "Speak of the devil."
Emily looked down and groaned "You called her?"
Hotch lifted her chin with his hand, "I'm going to fix this for you."
Smiling, Emily kissed his chin, "That's what makes you so sweet."
"Well there's that," Hotch said, "And I don't want anyone we know seeing the play and thinking it's you."
"And then the alpha male makes his appearance" Emily said shaking her head "It'd be sexy as hell if I wasn't so pissed off."
Hotch wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close as his lips went from her lips to her neck nipping and biting the ivory skin, causing Emily to emit light moans.
A knock pulled the two apart, causing Emily to groan, "Three guesses at who it is."
"Don't even need one" Hotch said pulling away and saying, "Come in."
Alison walked in, and smirked at seeing the two together.
"Interrupting a little afternoon hanky-panky?" Alison said raising an eyebrow to the two "Now what would that icicle you call your boss say?"
"Alison" Hotch said "Take a seat."
Turning to smirk at her sister, "Woo, love it when he gets so gruff."
"Ali" Emily said raising an eyebrow to her sister "Sit."
"Alright, alright" Alison muttered "Gee, what's with the seriousness?"
Hotch sat at his desk, while Emily stood next to him, glaring at her sister.
"We need to talk about the play you're in" Hotch started "Regarding a certain scene."
"Huh?" Alison said "Are you talking about... The nude scene?"
Emily shut her eyes and counted to ten, while Hotch nodded, "That's the scene we're talking about."
Shrugging her shoulders, "Is this what you were calling me about earlier, Em?" Alison said turning her attention back to Emily "It's just acting, it's not real."
"Looked pretty real to Dave Rossi" Emily muttered.
"Dave Rossi?" Alison repeated "What about him?"
"He was there last night" Hotch said "He saw everything."
Alison's forehead wrinkled, "Ew."
"Now you see the problem" Emily told her, "So what are you going to do?"
Alison bit her lip and rolled her head to the side, "Well I guess I can let the understudy take over" Alison said "There are only three more showings..."
"That would be good" Hotch said "And as much as I hate to leave, I'm going to let you two talk..."
Hotch got up, kissed Emily on the forehead, nodding to Alison as he headed for the door.
Alison turned to her sister with a raised eyebrow, "Knew it, I totally saw it."
"Knew what?" Emily asked eyeing her sister, "See what?"
Alison rolled her eyes as she got out of the seat and walked over to Emily, standing nose to nose with her twin.
"What are you doing?" Emily asked trying to stand her ground, only to be dragged by the arm to the corner of the office.
"I know about you and Hotch" Alison said, "We both know that, and so does Dave. But was the real reason you wanted me to drop out of the play, besides the nudity because of him?"
Emily raised an eyebrow, "How about this, first of all your body is an exact replica of mine, so if I'm walking down the grocery store and some pig is leering at me I want to know why and because Dave walked in and told me that he saw me or rather you, on stage naked. Can you imagine the looks I got from my team and how Hotch had felt? It was embarrassing and only when they learned it was you..."
Alison groaned when she saw the look Emily shot down to Hotch in the bullpen, "All right, I'm sorry Emmy."
Looking up at her sister, Alison held an genuine apologetic smile making Emily return the smile.
Alison pulled Emily into a hug, "Sorry sis."
"I know, I know" Emily said.
Hotch looked up to see Emily and Alison walk out of his office, each wearing matching smiles making him exhale in relief.
"How'd everything go in there?" JJ asked the sisters.
"Fine" Emily and Alison said in unison.
"Alison" Dave said smirking at the brunette.
"Eyes up here, Grandpa" Alison said "No more of that, you hear me? Remember that threat I gave Strauss about messing with my sister?"
"Yeah?" Dave said in confusion "What about it?"
"My threats are ten times as worse to men" Alison said walking up to Dave and whispering in his ear.
Hotch chuckled when he saw the smirk go off Dave's face and went up the catwalk to his office not looking back.
"What did you say to him?" Garcia asked impressed.
Alison looked over at Emily then down to the grinning Morgan, "Remember what we told Charlie when we were fourteen?"
Emily covered her mouth with her hand, laughing, "You didn't?"
Alison nodded, "Yep. If he behaves the way Grandpa up there does tell him what we told Charlie."
Alison turned and walked out of the bullpen, "Ali out."
Emily looked up into Dave's office window and saw him closing his blinds watching Alison walk out while shaking his head.
Emily saw Alison walk towards Morgan and knew she was issuing the 'don't stare at my ass routine.'
"I may be a twin, but I'm one of a kind." Author Unknown
To Be Continued...
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