Chapter 35- A Motherly Glimpse
A/N: Thanks for everyone who reviewed the last chapter! All the support is tremendous.
This chapter is essentially a continuation of the previous chapter. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Besides Natalie and Kalissa, I own zero percent of the brilliance that belongs to JKR.
Tonks jumped from the floor, pointing her wand around the room. "Belllatrix," hissed Tonks, shielding the three bodies.
Natalie swallowed. She refused to let the shock envelop here, not when other people's lives were at stake. Lifting her wand with tremendous will, Natalie clenched her jaw. She ignored the violent thrashing of her heart against her chest, the weakness in her knees and the heaviness sinking into the pit of her stomach.
"Of course my dear, how could I miss the opportunity?" said Bellatrix sweetly. As the laughter once again rang around the room in all directions, a suit of armor to their left disintegrated revealing the wicked smirk and haughty expression Natalie had come to hate.
Tonks immediately shot three Stunners at Bellatrix who summoned another suit of armor to absorb the full blow of the spells. The black haired woman started prancing around the room, shooting spells randomly, rearing her head back in laughter. None of Tonks' spells came close or appeared to remotely bother Bellatrix.
"I mean, Nymphadora," began Bellatrix, her eyes flashing as she stopped at a spot a few feet away from them. "It's not everyday I can see my niece and my daughter."
"It's a pleasure too, Bellatrix," snarled Tonks and then her mouth opened in confusion. "Your… what?"
"Yes, my daughter, little Natalie over here," Bellatrix replied, sneering at the Auror "It is so wonderful to see you again, my lovely angelic child." She dramatically wiped fake tears from her eyes.
"Crucio!" shrieked Bellatrix, bringing her wand with amazing speed onto Tonks
But Natalie somehow reacted instinctively, summoning the energy to push Tonks out of the way of the spell.
"Much more active than last time," cooed Bellatrix, sending three more "Crucio!" that Tonks barely dodged. "You have not improved Nymphadora, I am afraid."
"Leave her alone," said Natalie, trying to sound much stronger than she felt. She fired an 'Aeronaugio' at her mother, but the curse was so feeble that Natalie even wondered whether her magic also left her in her mother's presence.
"Such bravado," noted Bellatrix disdainfully, continuing a relentless attack of curses on the Auror. "Do you like what I did to poor little Professor Flitwick?"
"You're a rotten piece of scum," screamed Tonks, shooting more Blasting curses that Bellatrix waved away easily with her wand. She cast an annoyed glance at the pink haired woman. "You know in spite of your appearance, you are so much like your mother."
"So did you like my work, Natalie?" said Bellatrix, turning her head back to Natalie.
"N-no," stuttered Natalie, desperately shaking her head to clear herself of the shock that was beginning to suffocate her. "No," Natalie repeated herself, her voice hardening.
"Ah, I thought as much," replied Bellatrix with a nasty sneer. One of Tonks Stunning spells finally managed to graze her shoulder, causing Bellatrix to stumble.
"You are so BLOODY ANNOYING!" screamed Bellatrix furiously, now directing her full attention on Tonks. "Can't you be a good niece for once in your damn life?'
Little pellets of black light streamed out of Bellatrix's wand, all zooming towards Tonks who deftly jumped out of the way of each one. But as Tonks was dodging the last pellet, she tripped onto the floor and Bellatrix had her opportunity. She struck Tonks with a powerful Blasting Curse that thrust the pink haired girl against the wall.
"How is mummy doing anyway?" said Bellatrix in that terrible sugary voice. "And Daddy – I'll have to set up an appointment with him soon."
Tonks' face reddened as she tried to push herself off the wall. "You even lay your filthy hands on him –"
"Manners, Nymphadora," said Bellatrix dismissively, hitting Tonks with a pellet of black light that took the breath out of the woman.
And then as Tonks slid down the wall, Bellatrix lashed her madly with a thin, imaginary whip. "Nymphadora, I honestly thought you had some mettle. My goodness, even Sirius put up a stronger fight."
Afraid that her mother would not spare a thought for her niece and knowing she could not send a proper curse at Bellatrix, Natalie pointed her wand at the windows, summoning forth all of her will and energy into this Blasting curse. When she thought the incantation, an invigorating warmth spread through her and then into the wand. Closing her eyes, Natalie felt a massive burst of air sent hurtling towards the glass. Breathing in satisfaction, she heard the windows shatter, the glass falling onto the floor all around them.
"Natalie, what are you doing?" screeched Bellatrix, diving out of the way of the falling glass. Thankfully, Natalie noticed Tonks taking refuge behind another suit of armor.
Then Natalie quickly pointed her wand at her throat, whispering "Sonorus." But Bellatrix already read her plan and immediately fired an "Impedimenta" that caught Natalie by surprise.
"Smart, Natalie," commented Bellatrix, leering at her. "But I would have liked a more direct approach."
"Don't talk to me," croaked Natalie, trying to catch her breath. She saw Tonks stand up from behind Bellatrix, moving past the suit of armor.
But instead of hexing Bellatrix, Tonks used the distraction to shoot red sparks into the air through the windows. The black haired woman, sensing the Auror's movement, jerked her body around. She sidestepped Tonks' feeble Stunner, an outraged expression on her face.
"Nymphadora, there's no need to panic," Bellatrix hissed. She slashed her wand through the air. A stream of blue light cut through Tonks' chest, dropping the woman to the ground.
"Don't kill her," said Natalie hoarsely, picking herself from the ground and massaging her chest.
Bellatrix' gaze flitted towards her momentarily but she continued to walk towards Tonks' body with a nauseatingly playful air. "Nymphadora needs to learn to respect her elders."
To Natalie's horror, Bellatrix pulled out a dagger from her cloak, already stained with blood.
"No!" shrieked Natalie, running forward. "You can't!"
"Why not Natalie?" said Bellatrix, her eyes fixed on Nymphadora. She dragged the edge of the dagger across Nymphadora's throat.
"Other will be coming," cried Natalie, kneeling on the ground besides Nymphadora's body and across from Bellatrix.
"And do you really think I care about them?" drawled Bellatrix. "All I need is a few minutes with Nymphadora and she shall remember me forever."
Natalie shuddered at the longing in Bellatrix's voice. Shame coursed through her at being related to this woman, but her primary focus was Tonks.
"She's your family," said Natalie softly. She hoped that she managed to keep the panic out of her voice.
Bellatrix's eyes flickered to her. "Family does not matter anymore," Bellatrix snapped.
"She has Black blood in her," continued Natalie, holding her mother's eyes and barely pushing back the trepidation and surging fear within her. "Whether you like it or not, she is related to you. How would your sister view you?"
"My sister doesn't give a damn," said Bellatrix icily. "And if Potter hasn't told you yet my dear, I have already killed my own cousin."
As Bellatrix gave Tonks a nasty kick, the panic finally swept over Natalie. She was running out of things to say even though a voice in her head told her that all her protests were useless. Bellatrix looked like she truly did not care about her niece's life.
And then, taking Natalie by immense surprise, Bellatrix withdrew the dagger. She grabbed Natalie by the shoulder. "Don't resist me or I will kill her and the other three over there."
Natalie had to stop herself from smiling in relief. She let her mother drag her out of the room, down the staircase and then she stopped abruptly by a window.
"Let's go for a fieldtrip," said Bellatrix with a nasty smile. With a flick of her wand, the glass vanished. Before Natalie could realize what she was doing, Bellatrix jumped out of the window with Natalie under her hold.
Natalie's insides froze in terror. A weightless feeling overcome her as she watched the Ravenclaw tower become higher and higher. However, the feeling dissipated quickly, surprising her. She looked around, realizing they were not falling, but rather flying past the back end of the castle. Her mouth opened wide at the determined expression on the woman beside her; as much as she detested her mother at the moment, she could not help but be impressed with the spell. She had never heard of any type of magic, outside of a broomstick, that allowed the full bodies of wizards and witches to overcome the effects of gravity. But then, Natalie realized with a surge of dread that she was completely alone with her mother. She glanced frantically at the front of the castle, looking for anyone who would notice them. Unlike last time, Natalie did not want to see the fate her mother had in mind for her. Unfortunately, with the path Bellatrix had taken, no one would have seen them as the Ravenclaw tower blocked the region of the forest they were gliding towards. She tried to reach for her wand, but found her pocket empty. When she lifted her hand, she saw the wand sticking out of her mother's cloak, the same cloak holding the dagger she had used on Professor Flitwick and two Hogwarts students.
As they soared over the remainder of the castle and grounds, the heaviness in Natalie's stomach bit and clawed furiously at her insides. Her mother was taking away from everyone; Harry, Kalissa, Hermione, Ron, Minerva, Dumbledore. This wonderful 6th year was for nothing. This was the separation, the destruction of her life she had always feared. At Christmas, her mother's lack of affection hurt, but she realized now the idea of spending unlimited time with her was far more devastating. A horrible sinking sensation swathed her; she could feel herself falling into the inevitable fate that always lingered at the edges of her mind, always reminding her of her identity and always waiting for her.
They landed gracefully on the edges of the Forbidden Forest. As soon as they stepped onto the ground, Natalie made for a run but she felt an invisible hand twist her and pull her straight into her mother's embrace.
"Now, now, there's no need to be scared," whispered Bellatrix though the insidious pleasure in her cruel smile told a different story.
"Where are you taking me?" said Natalie, averting her gaze from her mother.
Bellatrix forcefully lifted her chin. "A place you should remember."
And with that phrase, Natalie felt both of them twist on the spot. The familiar weightlessness caught her by surprise before they landed in a dark alley.
"Come on," said Bellatrix excitedly, dragging Natalie who looked around anxiously.
They then emerged on an empty residential street. Along each side of the street, houses of every colour stood, each one adopting a slightly different form of the box shape. A stiff, cool evening wind rumbled through the random array of trees, shrubs and bushes. Recognition flickered in Natalie's eyes. And when Bellatrix took her further down the street, stopping in front of an empty lot, Natalie's heart sank. She knew exactly where they were. Bellatrix waved her wand in an oval motion in front of the gate. A white house with navy blue shutters, wide windows, a small veranda and a roof shaped like a cone emerged.
"No... Please no," pleaded Natalie, staring into her mother's happy eyes. She remembered seeing this house once with Kalissa, who had magically rebuilt the home from its burned remains.
"This is where Daddy lived," cooed Bellatrix, giggling.
"And where you killed him," snapped Natalie, her fear of the woman abating. She realized with a slight startle that her pity for her father and her love for his memory pused back all the fear and shame she bore because of her mother.
Bellatrix stopped giggling, a malicious smirk on her face. "Why don't I give you a tour?"
Before Natalie could object further, her mother pulled her past the gate, across the veranda and into the house.
"Now let's have some fun," said Bellatrix. She jerked Natalie to face her, letting her eyes bore into Natalie's brown ones. Both of their eyes immediately fluttered shut.
Before Natalie knew what was happening, she felt the sudden intrusion into her mind. A needling, prickling pain pierced her as her mother entered. A bruising, heavy force pushed and pulled her thoughts, wheedling them out of her grasp. Feeling the pain evaporate, Natalie started to let all her memories become drawn into the dark cloud gaining size in her mind. Strands of memory funneled into the cloud's growing tendrils, her mind yielding to her mother's will.
And then Natalie remembered with a startle where they were. She would not let her mother control her in the house she murdered her father. She gritted her teeth, trying to pull her thoughts and memories back to herself. She ignored the compulsion within her to allow her mother the access, link their minds so that she could see her mother's thoughts, feel those emotions once more. Forcing herself to stay separate from Bellatrix, the cutting pain resurfaced, a sign that her mother was again trying to penetrate her mind. Natalie kept fighting, remembering her promise to Harry and Kalissa. She did not want any part of this woman.
"Oooh, this is interesting," Bellatrix hissed, her voice echoing around Natalie's mind. "You don't want to see Mummy's mind, do you?"
"No," said Natalie, feeling like she was screaming the word in her own mind.
A much more powerful, bruising force whipped at Natalie's collection of thoughts. She grimaced in pain, kneeling to the ground.
"There's no need to be difficult," said Bellatrix softly.
"Let me show you some of my memories," continued her mother, stroking her arms. A shiver raced across Natalie's spine at the touch. She did not enjoy it.
And then as if Natalie's defenses were inconsequential, a stream of memories bombarded her consciousness. Shock overcome Natalie at what she saw. Bellatrix and her father meeting for the first time in the nearby park. The enraptured expression on her mother's face, the way her eyes twinkled with an original enthusiasm, completely different than the excitement now in her eyes. Her father animatedly gestured to Bellatrix, his face alight with an efferscevelent glow. She watched him with an unmistakable contentment, a bursting hope far away from the malevolent hunger devouring the woman in front of her.
Natalie could not help herself. She wanted to see more; to bask in her father's exuberance, amaze herself with the soft affection on her mother's face, prove that perhaps her mother felt something for her father. And Bellatrix complied. Another stream of memories flowed into Natalie's mind; her father and mother dancing on a different day, feverishly clinging to each other, gazing into one another's eyes with a serene joy of astounding vitality. She saw them holdings hands on another stroll through the park, completely oblivious to everyone around them. Natalie's shock only mounted at the gentle moments unraveling before her; the soft smiles, flushed gazes underlined by a fierce longing, laughter rippling across their faces as they leaned against one another. Then, kissing in front of his house, her mother's arms draped around her father's back, his hands playing with the long, wavy hair. A sense of fulfillment imbibed Natalie. Perhaps, they had been lovers; her father no doubt loved her mother to no end, but more importantly her mother appeared to reciprocate the feeling with just as much, if not more passion. The shred of humanity, she always hoped for, may just have existed.
And then, she felt herself dragged into an empty room painted in the same navy blue decorating the shutters. Another memory flooded her mind. Making Natalie inevitably wince, she saw them in bed with each other, Bellatrix curled against her father's chest, the white sheets draped over both of their naked bodies. When her mother left, for the first time, Natalie detected something other than pure happiness in her eyes; a clouding of emotion, a darkening that pointed to something far more malignant. And abruptly, the memory disappeared.
Hungrily wanting to see more of her mother's mind, Natalie allowed the dark cloud to surround her. All the memories she saw arranged themselves in a row across this mind like little puzzle pieces, only this time the images were much hazier as if something had blunted their sharpness to her mother. Tendrils of darkness snaked around these images, holding them tightly against one another. Starting to become drawn into the newer memories, anticipation rose within Natalie yet an undercurrent of ease grew within her.
And these memories exposed themselves for Natalie. She watched her mother's delight at the Fertility charm marking her pregnancy. At this sight, a warmth disseminated over Natalie, a genuine smile on her face. The smile instantly vanished as the next memory arrived. Uncharacteristic fear gripped the pregnant Bellatrix's face. When Natalie saw the photograph that was upsetting her, her stomach took a steep lurch; it was a picture of her father in the park. Natalie's heart started to throb painfully when the next few images flashed before her. Bellatrix stowing away letters written by her father, standing outside his house with a remorseful expression on her face, walking alone in the park, tears streaming down her cheeks and then the image that hurt Natalie the most: her mother running a hand over her swollen belly, a detached look of sadness unraveled across her face.
And then Natalie instantly knew what the other memories would show, her heart suddenly aching in pure devastation, the heaviness in her stomach stronger than ever. She saw Bellatrix holding her as a baby, uncharacteristic fear etched all over her features. She watched in horror while a livid Voldemort tortured a sobbing Bellatrix, the same fear gripping her mother's face as Voldemort threw a photograph of Natalie's father onto her.
And now, her mother's emotions struck her in full force. The tendrils of darkness draped over the fluttering memories of Bellatrix and her father. With these memories, powerful waves of shame rolled through her. The humiliation of being weak, of feeling utterly powerless, of disappointing someone was so acute, cutting painfully across Natalie's senses. Following this shame came a terrible, full bodied hatred for her father. She once again experienced the complete devotion to Voldemort, his image infusing her with exhilarating power. An insatiable need to please this man burst within her.
Natalie tried to desperately pull away, not wanting to feel any of these emotions but she could not sever the link. Memories continued to relentlessly unfold in front of her. Bellatrix burning her father's letters in brutal anger, looking at his house from the outside in cold fury and then finally the one memory she never wanted to see: her mother quietly casting the Killing Curse on her terrified father. Natalie saw herself lying alongside the dead body of her father; the baby crying profusely while her mother set the house on fire and then with last look of disgust at the baby, apparated away.
Natalie gasped as her mother's abruptly emotions left her. She noticed with a sharp pang of disappointment that their minds remained connected.
"Did you enjoy our story, Natalie?" said Bellatrix, the cruel, sugary voice ringing around Natalie's head.
Hearing the malevolence and utter disregard in Bellatrix's tone evoked a powerful sense of clarity within her. This woman was not her mother. Her mother was the woman who had cherished and loved her father despite his blood and in spite of her status as a Death Eater, the woman who chose to give birth to her even though she suspected her identity, the woman who perhaps wished to keep her father safe by not telling him of the pregnancy. And knowing that indeed her mother, at one time, loved both her and father provided Natalie with an immense sense of fulfillment.
Her mother was not the hideous creature who could see all these thoughts. She was not the woman who let the shame of Voldemort's disappointment invoke venomous contempt for a man she loved. Not the woman who hated herself for feeling so weak and emotional during her pregnancy. And finally, not the woman who chose to destroy the very family she created.
For the first time in her life, Natalie truly felt a sense of detachment from Bellatrix Lestrange. And she wanted Bellatrix to see every single word that crossed her mind, every single thought that weaved itself. She wanted the woman to feel her anger at her, realize that she no longer viewed her as her mother. That woman disappeared the moment she chose Voldemort over her father. And Natalie truly hated her for it.
"So angry at me," Bellatrix whispered, letting her fingers slide over Natalie's face. "You are my daughter, Natalie and you can't change that."
Natalie's revulsion only became more profound. "No," said Natalie, shaking her head. "No."
"You shouldn't feel sorry for your father," continued Bellatrix, shaking Natalie. "There's no need to hate me, Natalie."
"Not very happy with me, are you?" snarled Bellatrix, the anger evident in her voice. She placed her hands on Natalie's shoulders. "Natalie, your father was weak. In this world, people like him do not survive for long. You can be so great with me, my dear. As my daughter, the Dark Lord will treat you very well. I can feel the power within you and you know Potter."
"Get away from me!" screamed Natalie, her voice resonating across both of their minds. She tried unsuccessfully from Bellatrix's strong hold, but then realized what exactly might cause her mother to drop the connection.
Natalie focused on every single happy memory in the last year. All of the moments of laughter and pure, uninhibited joy with Kalissa, her enthusiastic discussions with Dumbledore over the summer, the tender moments she shared with Minerva, meeting Harry for the first time, feeling the first spurs of an attraction for him, then falling for him, becoming intoxicated with his presence and reveling in the way he completely understood her, Hermione's acceptance and gentle tolerance and ease with her, the wonderful security Hermione gave her when Harry was angry, laughing with Ron, getting to know him better, then having him valiantly defend her identity and finally the realization that she was her own person, completely different and separate from the woman in front of her. Natalie summoned all of her energy to send this mass of happy thoughts, this vision of liberation at Bellatrix's mind.
All those strands and wisps of memory hurtled outwards, pushing away the dark cloud enveloping her. The tendrils of darkness receded, the cloud lost its unified shape as all the dark little strands of Bellatrix's thoughts shot off in random directions. Bellatrix screamed in anguish, the scream piercing through both of their minds. Once again and hopefully for the last time, Natalie felt the woman's raw, stinging emotion. Hot, seething anger consumed her, the hatred for her father returning with tremendous force, powerful shame manifesting itself this time in the form of Natalie's image and not the brown haired man.
And then in one sudden movement, Natalie felt her mother release her. The bruising force clamping down on her mind lifted, the unnatural biting emotion dissipated and the connection bridging them snapped. As Bellatrix continued to scream, the air crackled and sizzled with the powerful magic radiating off the woman. The walls shuddered, the windows shattered and the entire house seemed to reach its breaking point before the screaming stopped.
Bellatrix brought Natalie to her face. "You are weak, my girl. Very weak." She threw Natalie violently across the room, shooting her wand madly around the room, destroying the walls before turning to Natalie with a sinister expression on her face.
"Do you love dear Harry?" leered Bellatrix, twirling her wand in her hands. "Love is for fools."
"You loved my father," said Natalie defiantly. She lifted herself from the ground, waiting for the woman to turn her wand on her. "In fact, I believe there was some goodness in you that he saw, but now it's gone. You're just a detestable creature like Voldemort."
"HOW DARE YOU SAY HIS NAME!" bellowed Bellatrix. Natalie cringed when she heard other rooms in the house collapse.
"It's a shame you are just like your father," Bellatrix spat. "You are a silly little girl."
An invisible whip lashed across Natalie's face, causing her to groan in pain. She tried to crawl away, but the whip wrapped itself around her, drawing her towards Bellatrix.
"Did you honestly think you could present me as some sort of trophy to Voldemort?" hissed Natalie, staring into those dark, clouded eyes. It did not bother her at all that their faces were only inches apart.
"Do not insult the Dark Lord!" shrieked Bellatrix, bashing Natalie against the wall. Spitting on Natalie, she raised her wand. "Crucio!"
Scorching pain consumed her. She felt like white hot knives pierced every inch of her skin. Natalie could not stop herself from screaming; the pain was so unbearable, so blindingly acute. Her head was bursting, her body contorting horribly in the air as she was driven to the edge of her consciousness. And then the terrible torment stopped. She dropped to the ground, her body aching more than it ever had before.
"Enjoyed that did you?" said Bellatrix softly, her eyes flashing in pleasure. "I must say I never experimented with the Cruciatus on your father. At that time, I was, how would you say it, not as well rehearsed."
"Go to hell," said Natalie though it caused her great pain to say those few words.
"Ah, I thought that would teach you some respect," drawled Bellatrix. "Crucio!"
Natalie's body was once again on fire as if hot, prickly needles were cutting into her back, branding her with the pain. She could feel herself losing all sense of where she was, but this time, Natalie closed her mouth, physically biting back any screams. Despite the torrential shaking of her mind, she would not give this woman any more pleasure.
The curse lifted again. Natalie crawled to the nearest corner, her limbs feeling utterly ripped and torn apart.
"No screams, then Natalie?" jeered Bellatrix, striding over to forcefully lift Natalie to face her. "Do you know that Potter tried to use the Cruciatus against me last year? The fool couldn't of course. You have to really hate the person, really want him or in your case, her, to suffer the most terrible, most brutal fate."
"I'm sorry that he wasn't successful," spat Natalie.
"That's no way talk to your mother," cooed Bellatrix, rearing her head back in terrible laughter.
"You are not my mother," repeated Natalie disdainfully, a terrible exhaustion sweeping over her. "She died the moment she decided to kill both of us."
"So valiant without a wand," noted Bellatrix with a horrible sneer. "I see you've learned from Potter very well."
"Kill me then," said Natalie brashly, realizing she was trapped in this room. Without a wand, she could not even try to apparate, but Natalie was ready to fight her mother. Ignoring the pain still lashing out at her insides, she lifted her head to stare straight into those hungry, malicious black eyes she now hated more than anything else.
"Surely, you wouldn't want a tragic death," said Bellatrix mockingly, letting her go. "Imagine the look on Potter's face when he stepped over your dead body or your dear Kalissa."
"They wouldn't rest until they could step over your dead body."
"I relish the pursuit," said Bellatrix, licking her lips. "Very well then. Why don't we make your death a bit more symbolic?"
And then, she stepped over to Natalie before the girl could even move away. Grabbing Natalie, she twisted on the spot. The familiar strangling sensation overcame Natalie before they landed in a cemetery in front of a square gravestone. Several bouquets of flowers were scattered around the gravestone.
Natalie swallowed. The black haired woman, now staring hungrily at the gravestone, did live up to her promise. She slowly rotated her head to the name on the gravestone, the tears pouring out of her eyes. Natalie had only been in this cemetery once, but she could never forget the memory.
Below this grave lies David Claggerton
A beloved teacher, brother, son and father
Born January 16th, 1957, Died February 18th, 1981
We can only be as free as our minds choose to be.
A/N: How did you like the chapter? As you probably saw, I wanted to show a more human/genuine side to Bellatrix through those memories and that at one point, she could fall in love, even with a Muggle.