Disclaimer:

Mr. M., Did you notice that when you have a toothache, you go on a killing spree on your heroes? I had to rewrite the whole chapter! In the end, only Arya and Sansa survived!… Poor man… that is the reason your heroes got offed? Mrs. J.K.,… Nah, Dumbles and Snape were no heroes, they don't count. Hmm? Ah! Disclaimer… you all, me an appointment with a dentist.

Previous:

The one that Mum gave to Daenerys, wasn't a Maiden anymore, she was the one that asked if she could join. Bessa was of Daenerys' age, a pretty local from Fleabottom, trained by me and Daenerys as a working girl a few years ago.

When Daenerys explained who and what Bessa was, and who trained her, everyone got curious, even Tyene and Arianne. Bessa was happy to show the techniques she learned to use in her trade, our night activities went up a nudge after that.

I think it is time to move to Essos.

Halfway Moat Cailin, a female with a bright red dress screamed out loud: "Azor Ahai! You bastard! Stop moving around for fucks sake!"

19 Essos again.

I sneezed, who is cursing me? I am certain I didn't leave any evidence at Stepmom and little Shit, and erection problems can occur due to emotional stress. Maybe some ugly dudes are cursing me for my good looks and success with the ladies… That must be it! After all, I bagged a bunch of princesses and highborn. Yeah! Envy me! I have it all! Ten off them! And their handmaidens, maids, guards, cooks, stable boys, horses… My life sucks.

At the breakfast table, we discussed our plans for Essos, I started: "As much as I hate to say it, we can't have a permanent base for at least another year. Settling down now will attract every warlord for our dragons, and every Ruler in Essos in a range of 1500 Miles to kill our Dragons for the threat they represent. This means we have to relocate every week."

Arianne commented: "That is not a bad thing, this way we can explore Essos, and we can look for the best place to settle down."

Daenerys asked: "So, visiting Cities like Braavos is not possible in the first months?"

I shook my head: "A half year at least, by then the new kids can speak and understand enough to stay out of trouble. I also try to avoid letting them kill humans when they are too young. Their minds are still that of a toddler, even when they are so big."

Margaery said: "20 guards are not enough, we must at least double or even triple it. When I took a trip through the Reach, there was always a force of 25 guards to protect me. We are going to Essos, that country is much more dangerous."

I groaned: "Come on! 75 guards? What if one of them is a traitor or assassin?"

Tyrion grinned: "It is that, or do everything yourself Snowy. You mentioned Magical Contracts to me some time ago. Let everyone sign a contract to stay loyal and never betray us for as long as they are employed by us."

I shrugged: "If I do that, we have to send half of the people we have back home. Or do you think the parents-in-law don't want to know what we are up to? Even Bessa reports to Mum and Aunty."

Well, the Princesses and highborn have the decency to blush at my remark. Not that I care much though, for as long that I treat their daughter right and don't have plans to rule Westeros, I can do whatever I want… which I am planning to do.

Tyrion pushed further: "You can formulate the contract in a way that they won't break their vows to their Lords, and still can't backstab us."

Arianne's Handmaiden, a freckled blond girl, said: "My Lord, our primary task is to see to our Lady's well-being, we are prepared to sign any paper as long we don't betray our Homeland."

Fuck? Now they are making me look like a paranoid bastard?... I am a bastard, a control freak, handsome, sexy, powerful, Magical, a sex god… See? More positives than negatives.

I sighed: "Write to your parents in your two-way journals and discuss it among yourselves. We leave tomorrow and do the last tour of your homes. I am taking the kids out for a swim."

Xxxxx

Did you know that after a mother has a number of children, they lose their individuality? You notice it when if she wants to call you, she shouts at least two or three names of your brothers, or sisters if you are a girl.

The following problem is the name, in this case, Winter Queen, Spring Queen, and Summer Queen, shorten it to Queen, and all three come flying when you call them that. Next, if some Dude from the North says 'Winter is coming', they won't nod wisely anymore but look up into the sky to see from where that dragon is coming. Talking about the weather is impossible too, some can talk for an hour about Winter, Spring, and Summer, and at the end, you wonder if he was talking about dragons or the weather.

That brings me to the Dornish Dragons, Elia, and Dorna, their names are political statements, to poke the Stag. That Stag isn't a fat drunk anymore, but a big hunk of muscles with a badass hammer. Daenerys' Rhaella comes close too.

But in the sea, when they swim loops around you, I wished they kept my names for the kids. By the time you remember the name, she is long gone, and another is bugging you. Meh, I will yell Queen! That has a 42% chance of being right.

Why am I nagging? The maids and Handmaidens refused to wear the name tags, those bitches think I am marking them for bedroom duty, especially after Bessa… Now, that is an idea… Nah, that won't work, too much of a 'Chip of the Old Block' for my comfort.

I expanded the barracks and stables, and in the afternoon, I collected some horses with the guards at the Dothraki, which will save them some money, and they can select one for their own.

The next day, we collected the guards, some additional maids, and some kitchen help. Our last stop was at Mum and Aunty, yeah, we needed a brothel too, the tavern got an expansion and ten of the older working girls volunteered as a career-ending.

Xxxxx

Then, I flamed to the Dothraki Sea. We put ward stones out to keep the cattle in and Dothraki out. After dinner, I called the guards out, all 79 of them, 25 regular for one sergeant, and the Master at Arms to complete the deck. Before me on a table lay a few hundred Valyrian one-hand swords and a bunch of contracts.

I started my speech: "Men! Guards! Soldiers! I give you all a choice, this paper is a Magic Contract, it says that if you sign it, you will be loyal to me and all of my wives and retinue, not just your own princess or highborn. It also says that you can keep your oaths to your Lords, it will filter what you can tell them though."

I took a sword from the table and raised it in the air: "For as long as you are in my service, you may use a Valyrian one-hander. Stay in service for twenty years, and you may call it your property. Even more, I will bind it to your blood, so only you and your children will be able to wield it."

I held my hand up to stop them from rushing to my table: "Hold it! There is more! Break the contract, and the sword will punish you. Betray me or my wives, and the sword will punish you. Try to sell it, and that will be the last thing you do before you die. If people try to steal it, they will suffer, as well as the people trying to force you to sell it."

Tyrion stood next to me and said: "My father bought Brightroar from our Dragon Lord for one and a half million Gold Dragons, you better realize what we are giving you. Now, one by one come to the table, sign the contract, don't worry, all the princesses helped write it, select a sword and let the Dragon Lord bind it to your blood. The sergeants and Master at Arms will get a set of daggers, the Master an additional Long Sword."

You know, instead of a carrot, I tied a Valyrian sword on my stick, it is not that they are scarce, after all, I have thousands of them in my cave and plenty of ingots to make new ones, better yet, I even have the book on how to make Valyrian Steel. A well-kept secret or prices will drop like the stock market after another bubble burst.

I must say, I did spell them good, ever sharp, penetrating, cutting edge, to name a few, and of course the anti-theft measures. It took four hours, the swords were standardized for guards or soldiers, they only could choose between five models. We would be here until next week if they are all different.

That night, the working girls had nothing to do… men and their toys. The wives had plenty to do. Yeah, it is good to be me, no, it is Great to be me!

Xxxxx

A fuming Red haired woman with a fancy Red dress headed for White Harbor to book passage to Essos. She did cause some sneezing though.

Week after week we traveled the continent, sometimes up North, close to Braavos, then down South at Volantis. It was a milestone when the kids could fly, a month later, everyone was jealous of Arya, as she was the first one to Ride her Winter Queen. Being the youngest and lightest of the girls, she had an advantage.

Daenerys taught them stinging hexes, I knew after I pointed out they were still too heavy for their Dragon. Females and fat jokes don't mix well, Dudes, remember it.

Finally, the day came that the kids could carry their load… Rider, it was only ten minutes, but we celebrated it like it was the Fourth of July, Christmas, or the Chinese New Year. Not that it was something special, but I grabbed every occasion to do a shaggalong.

That brings us here at the gates of Braavos, we landed with a lot of roars and flames and did our circus act again, you know, store the Dragons and get the guards out. We asked, politely, access to the City for some shopping. A guard, smelling like pee, opened the gate and let us in.

He stuttered: "Welcome to Braavos, Dragon Lord, we hope you enjoy your stay."

Tyrion chuckled: "Don't worry good man, we mean no harm."

We separated, the girls to the market, Tyrion and I to the Iron Bank. At the bank, five of the key holders present received us in their conference room. Tyrion took the initiative after the introductions were done.

He said: "Esteemed Keyholders, we intend to do some business, we know that having an account in your bank will raise our credibility, so that will be our first task."

He expanded a trunk and levitated a chest filled with Gold out. Yes, he finally has Magic and is practicing the levitation charm so much, it drives the maids nuts. Flipping skirts is fun in Japan, but in Essos... not so much. They go all the way to the floor, and when you raise the back side, the frontside will sweep their feet backward, resulting in a big mess. He stopped after the wives hexed his bits with stingers. I still feel the phantom pains when I think of it… Where was I…

Ah, Tyrion opened the chest and said: "This is our first deposit, pure bars of Gold, worth about three hundred thousand Dragons. The second task, I to ask you to auction some Valyrian armor and weapons. We have two complete sets of Valyrian Steel armor, two Long Swords, two one-hand Swords, two Shields, and two sets of Daggers. As you might have guessed, our Dragon Lord discovered a secret stash with these two complete sets of armor and weapons. We are willing to give the Bank a commission of 10% to organize the auction."

One of the Keyholders stood up and said: "We will not take less than 20%"

Tyrion shrugged: "Ok, we will find somebody else to do the auction, no harm done. So only the deposit then. Can you write the papers?"

Tyrion stage whispered to me: "Don't worry, Pentos, or Lys will do fine."

Another Key holder interrupted: "Wait! Can't we talk this over? We are willing to negotiate over the percentage."

Tyrion shook his head and answered: "One armor can go as high as one million Dragons a Long Sword up to three hundred thousand, a one-hand Sword and Shield the same, a set of daggers fifty to eighty thousand, multiply it by two, you have three million and a half. If you can't do an auction for three hundred forty thousand Dragons and do a profit, then we have to find a better bank. 10%, and that is us being generous."

An old man commented: "There are stories that you have thousands of weapons and armor in a cave. If that is true, then these weapons and armor won't even go for a million."

I expected that, and with a wave of my hand, the room changed into a cave filled with gold and Valyrian Steel.

I answered: "That rumor is true, but tell me, would Lord Stark let his two daughters be Dragon Riders if I only have five armors and a few hundred blades? I found a secret stash North East from Volantis, with five Dragon eggs in it and Valyrian Steel ingots."

I took an ingot out and transfigured a sword from it. All of their eyes were fixed on how I made a sword from a piece of ingot. When the decorations were done, I handed the sword to the old man.

Tyrion grinned: "The Dragon Lord has a scrying spell to find lost treasures, that way he found Brightroar and the hidden stash. When he finds a way to survive the toxic fumes, he will search Valyria too."

I threw them a bone: "I can put a complete set in a showcase in your main hall for the public to see with anti-theft spells. That will bring in some business no doubt. Is six months enough to organize the auction?"

The old man answered: "That will be fine Dragon Lord, but can we set a minimum commission of two hundred fifty thousand Dragons for the auction? That way all costs are covered and we make a profit."

Xxxxx

We left the bank after setting the armor on display. Tyrion asked: "Do you still know what the truth is Snowy? You keep on changing your tales."

I looked thoughtfully and answered: "The truth is told in layers Tyrion, for example, imagine you cheat on your wife. You spin your story to her by saying you spend the night drinking with your friends and fell asleep in the tavern. To the children, mother said that father was working late. To your friends, you ask to cover for him because the wife doesn't believe him. To your best friend, you give a blow-by-blow description of how you seduced and shagged a beautiful girl. To the girl, you pay her a Silver Stag and make a reservation for next week."

I grinned and asked Tyrion: "Imagine what happens when he tells everyone the truth: Honey, I fucked a whore because I need it more than you allow. The mother to her children: "Your father goes to the whores, because I can't stand him anymore and cheat on him with his best friend. To his friend, guys, I found the best whorehouse ever! To his best friend, keep the screw, mate."

When Tyrion looked at me sideways, I explained: "If you manage a lot of whore houses, those stories are by the tame ones."

We collected the girls before they could bankrupt me and left. Outside the gate, we did our act again, this time with a big audience, and flew away on our Dragons. When the small ones got tired, we landed, everyone but me went inside, and I flamed the trunk to the outskirts of Pentos. We settled on a nice patch of land and relaxed.

Xxxxx

It is time to pull some poisonous fangs, Illyrio Mopatis for one, is still trying to set his son on the Iron throne, I have to check up on Viserys, and the Golden Company needs a visit from me. With these three under control, Pentos will be a holiday resort.

That night, a handsome, muscular, not bodybuilding muscular, but close, you know, the type of muscular that you don't have to bankrupt yourself buying food to keep the muscles. That kind of handsome hunk… what was I doing?

Ah! This one flamed into Illyrio's bedroom and stunned the man. You get better results with Legilimence when they don't struggle after all. Hmm... Let's see... The man had to adjust some of his plans, now that Dad wasn't after Viserys… three Lords in the Crownlands, three in the Reach, hmm, Grandma-in-law is naughty! I have to warn her that when she is fucking two sides, one of them is fucking her ass. Is that a good quote? Fucking the Queen of Thorns in the ass? I better forget that mental picture.

Where is that Blackfyre kid… Hey! He and Viserys are good buddies at the Golden Company, I'll save them for later, who else is plotting against Dad… the Frey's before I fried their asses and Father-in-law Martell.

So many plots and schemes for that piece of scrap iron seat. I guess the first thing to do is to empty his wallet, a quick visit to his vaults and warehouses lowered his worth in half and filled a trunk.

With the location of the Golden Company in my head, I flamed a mile from their camp. An invisibility spell later, with silencing, and odor removal, I flew to the camp. I entered the treasure tent and looted the place after setting silencing wards and notice-me-nots. Next were the supply tents, I had to hurry up, it was almost dawn, you know, those household spells? Who needs more? I opened a trunk, and with a packing spell, everything went orderly into the trunk, I felt just like Mary Bloody Poppins.

After removing my magics, I flamed home… Damn, I forgot we moved, and flamed to our new place. I snuggled at one of the wives and fell asleep.

Xxxxx

Did you know that little girls can be sadistic? Yeah, I know, big girls too, but that is common knowledge, anyway, Arya was tasked to wake me up. A high jump and landing with the knees in the kidneys is no picnic, but it woke me up all right.

Is changing her into a wolf puppy too much? I don't think so too. I even changed the fur into Weasley red.

With blurry eyes, I asked at the breakfast table, I asked: "Who taught the kidney jump to Arya? That will be a grass-green puppy for the day."

Daenerys looked me up and down and said: "You disappeared last night, and only came back early in the morning, be glad we didn't teach her the groin jump. Who is she? Are seven and Bessa not enough for you?"

Crap! I waited too long to answer! Tyrion chuckled and teased: "How many layers will your answer have this time Snowy?"

Why you little traitor! That level of teasing is too much! What do I tell them? The truth? Hmm, why not, they might even believe me.

I smiled my most innocent smile: "Last night I visited a merchant that is plotting a coup for the Iron Throne, he has a Blackfyre son at the Golden Company, and is supporting Viserys as a decoy to get support in Westeros. So I robbed him and that Company, that will set them back for a few years."

At the unbelieving faces, I said: "I'll show you the loot after my nap."

An hour later Arya woke me up with a few bites at my butt cheeks, and a lot of angry growling, I guess she is tired to be a puppy. I felt the reason when she peed on me!

After transforming her back, I cursed: "Bloody hell, Aria! Why didn't you go outside to take a leak?"

She glared at me and yelled: "A princess doesn't pee in public! Not even as a dog! You deserved everything you got. Now get up, there is a red-haired woman at the wards that demands to speak with you."

Mrs. Weasley?