What's Under London's Lock And Key
I do not own anything from either the Sherlock Universe or The Doctor Who Universe. This was just a crack idea I had one late night and decided to write. Of course Mycroft would know about Torchwood. In fact, he'd probably have met the Doctor on more than one occasion. You know it is true.
When the Commander of UNIT told Captain Jack Harkness that it was out of his hands, that the whole operation had been shut down and taken out from under their very noses, he'd practically laughed in his face. When he'd gone beyond the Commander and straight to the General, and the man told him the exact same thing, he'd frowned. Then a few seconds later he asked what sort of power outside of UNIT and Torchwood had the audacity and influence to do such a thing. Influence enough to directly effect orders once assigned to them from the Queen of England herself.
Because that was quite the influential pull.
"A Higher Power." The General had said, eyes tight and drawn. "Best leave it alone, Harkness. It is not something you want to go sticking your nose into, I assure you."
But of course he did! And of course, he hadn't listened.
Soon he was back on the trail, continuing to push and prod and press whoever he could get to answer his many questions and phone calls. His list of contacts long since tapped and put to the test in search of who-or-whatever had taken away such a high priority alien technology case from the residential alien experts. It was like taking toys out of some other kids's sandbox and waving them in said kids's face!
Infuriating, it was, this long and progressively relentless search. All over the UK his calls were slowly being denied, hung up upon, and some -from the heart of London herself- were going so far as to disconnect their numbers. He'd been stonewalled from all sides, it seemed, and just as he was nearing the end of his proverbial rope and calling it quits, an answer presented itself.
In the form of a man wearing a rather expensive, well-cut suit, and toting an umbrella.
The Ice Man.
Not that Jack had known at the time, because when he first saw the man, standing at the the stone square just shy of the Invisa-Lift, he'd mistaken him for some random businessman out for a stroll on his lunch break. It wasn't too uncommon to see them in the Plass or in Mermaid Quay proper during this time of the day, although an umbrella on such a sunny day was a bit strange, but not overly so. So he'd just assumed that the mystery man -coincidence he was so close to the lift- was some businessman watching the Tower Fountain that fed the Hub bellow on his lunch break.
He couldn't have been more wrong if he'd actually tried. This man was no ordinary man, because the disregarded umbrella -the way it was so tenderly held- would have told him as such, had he payed it the attention it deserved. However, the man's icy tones did a better job at conveying his irritation that the umbrella ever could.
"Captain Harkness, I presume?" The posh tone was clipped, a sophisticated accent making the question seem icy cold that slashed the air about them. "Pleasure to make you acquaintance, I'm sure. But I'm afraid I must cut the pleasantries short. We have business to discuss."
"And you are?" Harkness prompted. "I don't believe I know you."
Jack was confused. He didn't know this man, but clearly this man knew him. And anyone who knew him probably knew about Torchwood, which was sort of scary, since he had no idea who he was. But by the sound of it, whatever their business consisted of, it was mighty serious. The tone of voice told him it wasn't good.
But the man was just smirking.
"Shall we, Captain?" The umbrella tapped on the stone that held the lift, proving to Jack that this man could clearly see through the perception filters placed on it. That would mean he knew about the Rift too, probably. "I'm sure we all have better things to be doing, but I'm afraid this is rather necessary. You made it that way, you see, and so I felt it my duty to answer your questions."
"My questions? Who are you, and what are you talking about?" Jack was demanding now, and though he was hesitant to pull his Webly in the middle of the crowded Plass, he considered making an exception. "And why are you here? The General said-"
"Yes, I'm quite aware of what General Marcus said, Captain. In fact, I spoke to him on the phone just last week. That's how we came about meeting, actually." The man's eyes were barren, wind-swept tundra, frost lacing every statement he uttered, despite his relaxed posture. "You've been poking about where you're unwanted."
"You mean to tell me that you're part of whatever it was that hushed up the encounter we were dealing with in Bristol?" Now Jack was angry, this man had deliberately taken away their investigation! "That was highly sensitive material and you had the nerve to just blunder in and remove us, Torchwood -The Experts!- from doing our job?"
"Quite, Captain. However, with that specific piece of technology, I feel like I must offer some form of pacification because of the danger it possessed. I'm sure someone of your caliber would recognize a Hyu'Nyylla Disintegrator Gun when he saw it?" The man smirked slightly as he stepped closer to Jack. "Had you been on scene first, before UNIT or a group who we suspect are still part of Torchwood One, we would have allowed you to your jurisdiction. But you weren't, Captain Harkness, and we could not afford something so dangerous so close to home. I'm sure you agree."
"Wait, Torchwood One? What do those bastards have to do with anything?" He snarled right back, completely missing the point the mystery man was trying to make. "How could you knowingly allow them anywhere near us when-!"
"Captain Harkness!" The man didn't shout, but he did hiss out his demand before stamping his umbrella harshly onto the cement block beneath their feet. "You are missing the point entirely! The entire reason I had it taken was to prevent Torchwood One's remains from getting its hands on it. Not to keep you from doing your job, I assure you."
"Wait, how do you know about the Torchwood One particulars? We didn't even tell UNIT the entire story about what happened at Canary Wharf." Jack sounded genuinely surprised to hear the other man speak of something as secret and taboo as the destruction in London. "We kept the whole thing in house."
"Yes, I'm quite aware of what protocols Yvonne Heartman had in place while she ruled One with an iron fist." The man's sneer bled out through the cracks in his icy smirk. "She would have found the Cybermen more a mercy than us."
"How could you possibly say that? You heartless bastard!" Harkness snarled, seizing the front of the man's lapels and shaking him hard. "She was horribly murdered, her brain ripped from her body during the mass conversions! The Cybermen have no mercy!"
"She was also a major threat to National, if not the World's, Security. I assure you, Captain Harkness, my main priority is the well being of all of Great Britain and its citizens. I serve Queen and Country first," The glare snapped back into place as he forced the larger man's hands off his expensive suit. "Not the scientific curiosity that would lean towards morbidity before the safety of others."
"The Ghost Shifts..." Jack said suddenly, as if understanding finally what the man was talking about. "Someone had convinced the entire world that it was an atmospheric phenomenon that happened and not actual ghosts. And it wasn't UNIT that did it. They wouldn't have had the power to keep the other governments at bay."
"Yes, they were seen all over London, as well as the world. And regardless of our numerous attempts to stop her unorthodox experiments, I'm afraid she decided to ignore our more friendly attempts. You, of course, saw the results of those decisions." The man stepped back, dusting off his suit coat. "How many dead, Captain? How many died needlessly because a sadistically ambitious woman ignored the warnings of a concerned party?"
The answer was 'too many people.'
So many lives lost in a senseless, reckless battle that had no reason for even have happened in the first place. Although he hadn't been there personally, along with Owen, Suzy, and Tosh, he'd helped clean up on scene once they'd been notified. It had been a brutal and very long two weeks, drawn out and dotted with so many bodies and conversion units that it all started to bleed together. He hadn't known it at the time, but Ianto and his fiance Lisa had been there as well, suffering through their own hardships and bloody end.
In the end, they'd allowed UNIT to help with the clean-up on the condition that they remained somewhat ignorant on all the details on just what had happened at Canary Wharf. They hadn't allowed them to get any of the technology in the building, instead confiscating it all and splitting it between Torchwood Three and Two, and they'd only been allowed to help remove bodies from the scene. He'd never told anyone any of the details, not even Suzy, but this man knew. This man knew all about it.
Something he couldn't possibly know about.
"I have no idea who you are, or how you found out about The Hub or Torchwood One, but you're not welcome here." Jack strode over to stand on top of the lift, his coat flaring out in a dramatic fashion he'd had down for years. "I don't want to see you anywhere near this base again, do you hear me? I'll use force if need be."
"Hm, I see Captain Harkness. Well, in that case, I'll take my leave." He said, removing a Blackberry from his coat pocket and typing out something upon it before hitting send. Soon a long black limousine showed up at the edge of the Plass, and the man casually glanced back at Jack before walking towards it. "We'll be in touch, Captain Harkness."
"No, we won't Mister?" Jack asked, typing something out on his wrist cuff in frustration, setting the sequence for decent to begin as soon as he hit send. "I don't believe you ever gave your name."
"Ah, I nearly forgot." The umbrella tapped a rhythm onto the concrete as he spoke, the smirk coming back once more. " I'm Holmes, Mycroft Holmes."
"And what is it that you do exactly, Mr. Holmes?"
"Oh, I occupy a minor position in the British Government, Captain Harkness, and nothing more." Mr. Holmes said genially as he waved off the question as if it weren't of any importance. "I'll be on my way now, Captain, do have a nice day. Oh, and don't mind the banana."
Huh?
What banana?
xXx
Later, much later, when Jack had finished cleaning up the mess made by a few rogue Weevils and his over zealous crew, he trudged back to his office, his chair inviting him to sit and rest. He would of course, after the day he'd had. The meeting with the mystery man Mycroft Holmes had only been the beginning of it, and he still had a migraine from the exploding Weevil Spray canister. Which only got worse once he'd actually sat down.
Because there, sitting innocently on his desk, was a beautiful banana.
One that hadn't been there when he'd left this morning.
"Ianto, Ianto!"