Summary: Absinthe is a highly intelligent boy from district 3. Chosen as tribute on his seventeenth birthday, he swears to himself that he will survive, in order to care for his young siblings. Thrust into a world of violence and deceit, will Absinthe retain his sanity while possibly finding something more?
Warning: Romance, darlings! The first few chapters will be dull when it comes to the emotional aspect of it, but they are quite necessary to proceed with the story. Beware! This will include blood, gore, and torture, a little bit of sadism, mature themes and language.
Might be a slash. Most likely will be. Maybe not.
Warning for this chapter: I was up really late writing this. It's been awhile since I've touched this story.
AN: someone mentioned an error in the amount of tributes from district three. I wasn't thinking. There are three winners from district three. either way, the odds are low. The math takes a long time to do. if you want me to add romance, leave a review. I should be starting a poll soon. I'm not sure if I should add it or not. I know there will be some. I have the entire story planned, after all. I just want to know if you guys think it should be real or not. Absinthe is a clever boy. He's an actor, and can lie perfectly. So, I'm pretty conflicted.
Disclaimer: I don't own the hunger games. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
I am not making any money off of this story. So, don't sue me. That wouldn't be very nice.

A BIG THANK YOU to Alice for editing this for me. I'm really a bad speller. She's like... amazing. I mean, if she didn't edit this yu wud b readin tis da hole way. Okay... maybe not that bad but... you get what I mean. She's amazing. But she keeps saying no when I ask her to marry me. I even promised to pay the airfare when we fly to new york. Ugh, she's horrid.

Review please. I reply to all of them privately, unless it's a question I think other people might want to know the answer to. I'm nice, and I don;t bite. I pinky promise. PleaI don't want to seem like one of those desperate authors, but I really do love constructive criticism. I'm not perfect. Far from it. I need criticism to get back. I love flames. They're fun to read. But they make me sad. Limit them, por favor. Anyways, I'm rambling. Adios. amigos. Hope you enjoy my story!

∞l-Chapter Two- Goodbyes-l

The room they sent me to was one of the most luxurious places I had ever stepped foot in. Although, not what I think about it, I didn't have much to compare it to. Pale yellow, floral wallpaper covered the unmistakably cinderblock walls, giving it a cleaner look. It was odd, seeing a room covered in a design. I was so used to the customary wood and cinderblock my shack and the factories were made of. A plain white velvet couch sat in the corner, recently dusted, by the looks of it. I had always wondered it they clean these damn rooms every year of just a few days before the reaping.
The sun streamed through the small window, a breeze ruffling the drapes and my hair respectively. If I wasn't faced with the thought of my imminent death at that moment I would have backed in the lavishness of the room, knowing it was probably the only time I would ever experience such opulence. I laughed at my thoughts. But the capital awaits me now. This will seem like a slum once I get there.
I leaned against the wall, my head tilting back as I gazed up at the pallid ceiling sightlessly. I thought about my brothers. I wondered how they would react to my death. I would think about friends, but I never really had any. School in our district is mandatory. After you learn how to read and write, you are shipped off to a factory where they teach you the advanced math you need to know to produce complex electronics. It isn't rare to see a hologram manufacturer capable of solving math beyond professors in the capitol, yet are incapable of spelling their name right. I even let my mind drift towards Jacob, the small finch Beau had found a year ago. He has smuggled it into our house under his tunic, then nursed the small thing back to health. The damn thing still frequents our house every now and then.
My mind eventually wandered towards the games. There was no way I was the strongest. Sure, I could lift a 120 pound television, easy. But that was raw, untrained muscle I used to carry things short distances. I had never really trained my muscles, per say. I could, however, scavenge for food with the skill of a wild vulture, which would definitely get me somewhere, as long as the arena isn't somewhere filled with toxic, disease carrying bugs. Well, I'm smart... I almost laughed at myself. I was intelligent, sure. But how far would mathematical calculations get me in a game where you have to fight to the death. Not to far, I suppose.
The sound of the door creaking open snapped me out of my thoughts. I had almost forgotten we were allowed visitors. Markus stood in the doorway, his dark amber eyes slightly covered by a messy mop of shaggy brown hair. He looked up, those haunting amber orbs meeting mine. The pain I could see on his face made my knees weak. He's fifteen damn it! He shouldn't have to take care of the others. He took a few shaky steps forward. His mouth opened several times, but I could tell his through was to closed up to let him speak. His full bottom lip trembled as he tried to grow up in the few minutes we had left together. I grasped his shoulders and pulled him roughly to my chest. As soon as his tanned face hit my shoulder, I felt hot tears leak through my shirt. Markus' choked sobs echoed through the small room, making my stomach clench.. How many tributes said their goodbyes to their family in this room?
"I-I'll take care of them, don't worry," Markus choked out, choking on his tears.
"I know you will," I soothed, rubbing soft circles on his back, tracing the vertebrae of his spine slowly. How can he take care of them alone if both of us working together couldn't even keep our own bellies full?
He wiped his eyes quickly, looking down in shame and embarrassment, "When you come back we won't have to worry about this, right? About the food, I mean. You'll be able to move us to victory village, won't you?"
He looked up at me once more, his tawny eyes filled with tears, pleading for me to lie.
"Of course," I whispered soothingly, cupping my brother's cheek affectionately.
The echo of my final words were still ringing in my ears when the peacekeepers wretched the door open, calling out a gruff "Times up". Markus stepped out of my reach and backed out of the room, not looking away until the door was slammed shut.
The door hadn't even clicked shut before the door swung open again, and I was met with the smiling, freckled faces of the twins, Alex and Chase. I was slightly affronted. Were they pleased to see my leave? They didn't cry, nor did they tell me to win. They each grabbed one of my elbows and sat me down on the plain sofa.. Their russet hair shadowed their eyes as they both tried pull funny faces for a while, asking for my opinion every now and then. I laughed and nodded, giving some comments, but mostly leaving them to their own devices. I hadn't the heart to say goodbye.
The door opened and they walked out, bidding me farewell as if they were heading to work like every other day. I thought of when our parents had died. They had acted the same, pretending nothing had happened. I remember how I thought they were in denial, until I heard them speaking of how much they missed them. Grimy hands clasped together as they reminisced, voices strained as they tried not to cry. Strength goes hand in hand with pain.
Moments later the door creaked open again, and I silently wondered if Ambrose would receive the same amount of tearful faces today. Maddox and Brandy looked at me. Maddox had his hands behind his back, his pine needle eyes hidden behind dusty glasses. His nose twitched as the large frames fell from his nose, but he did nothing to return them back to where they had been, as he usually would have. No emotion, as usual. The twelve year old looked at me with a calculating expression. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Brandy flung himself into my arms. His frame shook as he sobbed into my chest. The fabric beneath my diaphragm was soaked quickly as I held the sobbing boy. The ten year old looked up at me with tear filled eyes, "You have to win, Absinthe. We'll go hungry without you."
I kissed his forehead, knowing he wouldn't mind the affection and nodded, "I'll win, I promise." How many promises had been made in here, only to be broken in the weeks that followed?
He nodded, his mahogany hair falling out of it's combed back style as he did so. I noticed the expression on Maddox's face and pushed Beau towards the door, "I think Markus might need a hug from you, why don't you go out and see him?" With a reluctant pause, he turned and shuffled out of the room. I had never been close to Brandy. He connected with Markus like I had with Beau. The moment the door clicked shut I looked at Maddox. His eyes never left my face, and I knew at that point he was figuring something out.
"I know the odds," the words confirm my suspicions. I nod, ignoring the blank look on his face. Shutting down again. I tried to ignore his eyes but soon they found their way to mine, boring into them with a look I had never seen on my little brothers face. He had always been the smartest of us all, able to calculate even the toughest of math problems by the time he turned ten. In his mind, emotions left room for error, and error was the reason people screwed themselves over.
"I figured you did," I said simply, running a hand through my limp hair.
He watched my movements, as if he expected me to lunge at him that very second. He hesitated, before speaking up, "Why did you lie, then? To Brandy, I mean. Why did you give them false hope? I don't get it."
I looked over my younger brother, his face wasn't blank anymore. In the place of his usual stoic façade, was a look of mild confusion. I paused, making sure I chose my words wisely, "They need hope. If they believe I can win, then I have something to fight for in the arena. I know they'll be watching, hoping, praying, that I can somehow make it out of there alive. Forget the odds, Maddox, just hope I can beat them."
With those final words the door opened, cutting off whatever response Maddox was planning to snap out. He narrowed his eyes and pushed his glasses up. Turning on his heel, he stalked out, his hands behind his back in a uniform manner. When the door clicked shut I took a deep breath, knowing what was coming next.
The door creaked open for what I knew was the last time. The small trembling frame I knew all too well entered the small room. Beau. He was oblivious to his surroundings. His frail form trembled, his hands at his side, fingers digging into his thighs as he willed himself to stop. I could see long tears in his brown grainsack leggings where his fingers scraped at his bony thighs. His hipbones stuck out at unhealthy angles, the bones seemed to cradle the rest of his malnourished body as he took a shaky step forward, his knobby knees threatening to give way. The pitiful boy looked broken, a metal solider left in the rain too long. The rust would peel away, of course, it was new before it was tarnished after all. In a few years, age would rub away the scars I had given him, until he was good as new.
I didn't think of that at the time though. All I saw was my little brother broken beyond repair. His face covered in burns from his work in the wielding plant, tears streaming down his dirty cheeks, leaving stains that I feared would never wash off. His chest heaved as sobs threatened to tear out of his frail chest.
My baby. My Beau. I would never see his smiling face again. I would never hold him though the nights, smiling as he muttered to himself, sleep enveloping him like a warm blanket, something we could never afford. I would never be able to wrap his burns again, singing to him as the horrid wounds sizzled under the water I doused them in. I could never promise him I would never leave him again. I couldn't look at his heartbreaking face anymore. My knees gave way before his did and I fell to them, ignoring the unsanded wood that tore through the skin on my knees.
I moaned, sounding more animalistic than human at that moment. At the same time, he let out a high whine, before making his way into my opened arms, his frail arms wrapping around me, before he collapsed, and as he did, the world fell around us. I clutched my brother, letting him sob into my chest. I trembled with as much force as he had earlier. Knowing the moment I let my tears fall I wouldn't be able to stop.
His claw like nails raked across my back, breaking skin through the shirt I was wearing. I didn't care though, I just embraced him tighter, letting him embrace me. We didn't move for the time we were permitted together. We just held each other, out shaking forms never leaving the others. We needed each other. I gave Beau the love he never received from our parents and he gave me something to live for. Without him I would have died years ago. Those who have something to live for last longer in hell than those who have nothing but themselves.
The door opened too soon. It felt like seconds, not the few minutes they permitted. I didn't move, and only held onto Beau tighter. The cold hands of the Peacekeeper that had been guarding the door wretched Beau from my arms. He let out a shriek, his arms reaching for me as far as they could go. I grabbed his hand, hoping they would let him go. I don't remember saying anything, but I must have, because moments after Beau shrieked I felt the knuckles of the peacekeepers other hand meet my cheek. I recoiled, but I refused to let Beau. One minute more, oh please.
I heard the gruff voice of the other Peacekeeper, who has standing by the door. My heartbeat was too loud for me to hear what he said, but whatever it was though, I would have to thank him later. Beau dropped from the peacekeepers grip and he collapsed. His sobs escalading into screeches of torment. One would think he was being mauled by an unearthly creature.
I grasped the boys head in between my two hands, forcing him to look at me and cease his agonized moaning. He looked at me, tears still escaping his green eyes. There was nothing I could do about those though. I kissed both of his cheeks carefully, watching as he closed his eyes as I did so.
"Be brave, Beau. Show your brothers how tough you are," I whispered, my voice cracking.
"Absinthe..." he whispered, his voice hoarse from his sobs, "What if I can't be tough?"
I looked at the pitiful boy for a moment before pulling off the small hemp bracelet he had given me years before. I knotted it around his bony wrist, ignoring how it threatened to slip off of the thin appendage.
"There. Even if you can't see me for a few weeks, you will still have me beside you, alright? And soon enough, I'll be back home, I promise."
He looked at the bracelet around his wrist and his lip trembled once more. He reached down his shirt and pulled at the wire that hung there. A small silver stag was thrust into my face. Our fathers pendant, the only thing Beau had to remember him by.
"For your district token, stags are good luck, remember?" He mumbled, not meeting my eyes.
"It's yours, though. You said it keeps the dreams away," I murmured softly, knowing he would miss the small token.
"You need the luck more than I do," he sniffled, looking up at me with tear filled eyes. I pulled the wire from his hand softly, tying it around my neck easily. I embraced my brother once more and pulled him up, willing myself not to fall, for the fear of crushing my brother, who was sobbing once more.
I cradled the malnourished boy in my arms, pressing him to me as if he were a teddy bear, and I was a young child, afraid that monsters were hiding under my bed. I exited the room once more and handed my little brother to Markus, who took him with sorrowful eyes. I nodded at him and kissed Beau's hair. I backed up and closed the door behind me, Ignoring the group of peacekeepers that had assembled outside of my room. Had we really been that loud?
I shut the door quietly behind me. Leaning against the door, I closed my eyes. It hit me, then. I was alone, for the first time in my life. I had nobody to keep me up when I stumbled or someone to catch me when I fall. I wasn't Absinthe, the oldest son of a poor factory workers, nor was I Abbey, the older brother and guardian of his six younger siblings. Now, I was just Absinthe Hennely, the male tribute from district three.
It was there, in the yellow room, where I let myself cry for the first time since my parents died.

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So that's the next chapter. Sorry for the lack of length. I liked the way the goodbye scene ended, so I didn't start the train scene. I really have grown to love Beau. He's already got some fanart. I'll post it later, since some of it gives away the fifth and sixth chapter. It isn't goodbye yet, I promise! Review. I always post faster when you do :D