Knowing
I don't own the characters, but the plot and dialogue you're about to read is property of my sick, demented and twisted (in a good way) mind. Enjoy!
Knowing
Amanda and Olivia walked into McIntire's Pub and sat down in a booth. Amanda smiled at their waitress who handed them menus, then looked at Olivia. "Whatcha drinkin' Benson?" She asked in her noticeable Georgia girl drawl.
Olivia took a deep breath. "Anything more than fifty proof." She said with a small smile.
Amanda nodded and looked at the waitress. "Jack on the rocks... two." She said with a smile. The waitress nodded and walked away while the two new friends looked over their menus. Amanda spoke up first. "Want to split the appetizer platter?"
Olivia smiled and nodded. "You read my mind, Rollins." She said with a smile.
Amanda looked at Olivia. "You can call me Amanda, Benson."
Olivia chuckled. "Then you can call me Olivia, Amanda." She said and winked.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments. "Okay, so what was going through your mind tonight? You were starin' off into space for like... five minutes." Amanda asked, genuinely concerned.
Olivia took a deep breath and let out a silent sigh. "It was a fight I had with my partner... Former partner." She spoke, trying to control her emotions, running a hand through her hair. "Elliot and I have always had this... Chemistry." She said softly. "But we never acted on it because one he was married, and two there are rules, fraternization rules, in the NYPD. Its not illegal, per say, but its highly frowned upon to be romantically involved with one's partner. It's a whole... Commitment thing, One PP thinks that if you're involved with someone sexually, or romantically, that you'll start to pick them over the job."
Amanda looked at her. "Okay, and now that he's not your partner... the marriage is the only thing stopping you?" She asked, slightly confused, since she had never met the famed Elliot Stabler.
Olivia took a deep breath. "Nope, only thing standing in my way of Elliot is Elliot. He got a divorce a few months after he left." She said softly. "I loved Elliot Stabler, I have for some time. My world revolved around him, and there was no room for any other man in my life. Between the job and Elliot..." She shrugged. "So, a few weeks ago I had him over for dinner, a dinner that I cooked... Amanda, I don't fucking cook! Okay, the pots and pans in my cabinets have dust and cobwebs on them to the point where I have to wash them at least twice before they're usable."
Amanda smiled. "Sounds like my kitchen." She said with a small laugh.
Olivia nodded. "Welcome to the job." She said, rolling her eyes, remembering when she was a rookie in the unit. "Anyway, I had him over for dinner, and I was supposed to be dessert." She said slightly blushing, but quickly controlling it. Olivia Benson DID NOT blush.
Amanda looked at her. "And he was smaller than expected, couldn't preform... what?" She asked, trying to get this out of Olivia. She loved workplace gossip... and having a friend.
Olivia laughed gently. "I wish I knew." She said gently. "I wish it was something like that because I could have lived with that. No, he decided he didn't want me, he decided to leave, right before anything happened. Then he called me a bitch and a whore. I slapped him... pretty hard and threw him out of my apartment. I haven't spoken to him since." She said softly.
Amanda's face wrinkled up in pain. "Ouch." She said and just then the waitress came back with their drinks. "Ah, perfect timing." She said and she lifted her glass. "To strong, independent, single women." She said with a small smile.
Olivia smiled and clinked her glass with Amanda's. She took a sip of it and closed her eyes, letting the cold liquid run hot down her esophagus. She smiled and opened her eyes, looking at Amanda again. "Okay, so... spill. What's the dirt with you and Amaro?"
It was Amanda's turn to blush. "What... what do you mean. We're colleagues, partners, friends." She shook her head and quickly took a sip of her drink.
Olivia smiled and took another sip of her own drink. "Honey, please...I had that look in my eyes. For almost thirteen years I had that look in my eyes. I know that look. You have the hots for Amaro." She said with a smirk. She saw Amanda blush again. "Hey, its okay. He's good looking, he's sweet, and there's definitely a connection there."
Amanda shook her head. "No, he's married. He's... and there's that anti-fraternization policy..."
Olivia chuckled. "I looked into it. Worst that'll happen is you'll trade partners. You'd be with me and Amaro will be with Fin." She said with a smile. "And sure, he's married to a woman who is serving in Iraq right now, and who he thinks is cheating on him. You're allowed to like him, you're allowed to have feelings for him, but trust me, for your own sake... either do something about it or let it go. Don't let him become your entire world, like I did with Elliot. Don't let him be the only man in your life, either go for it, or forget it, but living in the middle, on that line, is so hard to do... and it will eventually drive you crazy." She said softly. "And then you'll be so damaged, that you'll see guys you want to be with and you just send this... vibe." She said softly.
Amanda took a long swig of her drink. "Yeah... thanks for the tip." She said gently. "What got you into Special Victims anyway? Its such a hard job."
Olivia nodded. "Hard it is." She said softly. "My mom was a rape victim." She said gently. "And I was the result of that rape." She said with a shrug, taking another sip of her drink. "What about you, why did you get into Special Victims?"
Amanda took a deep breath. "My best friend, back in Atlanta, she was gang raped and nearly beaten to death by a group of thugs. The cops never caught the bastards who did it." She said, pursing her lips. "I wanted justice for all the girls like her." She said softly. "Say, have you ever been..."
Olivia took a deep breath. "Raped? No, came pretty damn close, but not quite." She whispered. "I was undercover in a correctional facility. One of the guards... he tried, and nearly succeeded. He didn't take into account that Fin, who was undercover too, was my partner or that I was a cop. We got the bastard, but not on my assault. I... I don't know that I'll ever be over it, but I've processed it and moved on." She said softly.
Amanda took a deep breath. "In Atlanta, a few weeks before I left, I collared a perp and was interrogating him. I was going at him alone, trying to get him to break, and before I knew it he had me against the wall with his hand down my pants. It all happened so quick I... my mind went blank. Next thing I knew, my Captain was in the room pulling him off me." She said, fighting the tears. "Its why I left. My team didn't trust that I'd have their backs if I couldn't protect myself. They never said it, but they didn't hide the look in their eyes. Its why I left." She said downing the rest of her drink.
Olivia reached across the table and held her hand. "Have you talked to anyone?"
Amanda shook her head. "No, I... I'm fine."
Olivia shook her head. "No, you're not. I can see it. You have to talk to someone." She whispered. "It gets easier. Trust me."
Amanda looked up at Olivia and she nodded, then raised her hand, summoning the waitress. "Can we get another round, and the appetizer sampler. And uh, keep the drinks coming." She said with a nod.
A/N: Hope you enjoy! Please review here or on Twitter SVUConnoisseur :)