Yiota Protoolis
B12 unpublished Fly on the wall "What I would give to merely be a fly on the wall of your life. To watch you and know you like no-one else. Even your self." Dark. Darker. Darkest. Quiet. Quieter. Silent. Feet hitting the ground. Quick and quiet. She padded
8:06 AM
Fly on the wall
"What I would give to merely be a fly on the wall of your life. To watch you and know you like no-one else. Even yourself."
Dark. Darker. Darkest. Quiet. Quieter. Silent. Feet hitting the ground. Quick and quiet. She padded over years of dust as quietly as she could to try and sneak through the damp tunnel.
Drip, drip, drip, drip.
"Tony?" Her voice echoed through the small space as desperation filled her pleading calls.
"DiNozzo?" she met a fork and spun around trying to judge where to go.
"Ziva. Shut up." that was his voice. He was nearby. To her left.
She turned and met the wall. She glanced up and saw the grate in front of her and up. On tiptoe she couldn't see anything.
"Are you there?" she whispered.
BANG
something met the back of her head and she fell to the ground her vision dimmed and her head aching lowly. Footsteps. Yelling. Blackness.
*
"Ziva is fine. She will just be disorientated with a mild concussion."
Tony tried to digest what Gibbs was saying as his instincts confused him. He tried to voice his alarm bells that were telling him to not seem stupid with his words. But they failed him.
"There was so much blood." he murmured as he stared at the figure in the bed nearby. So small and irrelevant to everyone but him it seemed.
"Hey. We got the guy." McGee was saying and he tried to encourage the agent who had spent the last few hours believing his partner and girlfriend was on death row.
"She should wake up soon. Just try not to bombard her." the doctor left as Tony evil eyed him. Telling him how to treat Ziva was like telling him how to breathe. Which was actually proving to be a challenge now.
"I can give you a lift home if you like Tony, if you want to wash up."
McGee was foolish to say that
"No probie I want to be here." he replied and drew his chair right up to Ziva's bed.
Hours past and the others left. He was there by her side with his head leaning on the wall and sleep threatening to take the controls of his body. He slipped in to an oblivion in which Ziva had gone with him instead of McGee then maybe they could have targeted the hiding marine without endangering her. Because she was worrying about him. He had told her to shut up. Her calling him had leaded the petty officer to her. It was his fault.
"I understand why Gibbs made rule 12 a little more now." he sighed and watched Ziva's lashes flutter. Wait. Flutter?
"Ziva, it's me!" he whispered and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "You're safe."
She opened her eyes and looked taken aback by his proximity. Then she screamed.
*
He had found a quiet corner of the hospital in which to hide from everyone. The screaming still echoed around his head. The Hebrew words and the gasps of fear.
"What happened to you?" he found himself asking a blank wall which gave him no help. It merely sat there looking blank and stupid. Kicking it didn't help either. He realized this when he tried and it made his toes hurt.
"Ah stupid." he muttered and found a chair to sit in. He hoped no one would find him and he could sit here and wallow in his misery until Gibbs came in silently and beaconed him. He had no will power to resist so he followed like a depressed zombie who was a vegetarian.
"Why did I scare her?" Tony asked.
"Temporary amnesia. It's normal with head injury recovering." Gibbs spoke from experience.
"Really. Like you?" Tony asked sceptically remembering the time Gibbs had called him McGee painfully.
"I came round in the end." the man shrugged as they neared Ziva's room.
"I am not going back in there." Tony backed away with his head shaking and his hands up defensively.
"She thinks she is still in Mossad and her sister has just been killed." Gibbs explained harshly. "She is scared and upset. She needs you. It may jog her memory."
Tony was still shaking his head even when he was entering the room. He saw Ziva with a rare look in her eyes. Fear.
"Ziva. It's me, Tony." he said gently and took a seat about 5 meters away in case she started screaming again.
"Hello." she looked confused "I know who you are."
"You do?" he stared incredulously.
"Yes. But. I. I don't remember you." she stuttered as her English seemed worse. Of course it would be back then. "I remember your name and your face and..." she was frowning in concentration. "Who are you to me?" she asked confusedly.
"I am your partner at NCIS," he glanced at Gibbs and the doctor "And your boyfriend."
She opened her mouth and gaped for a while then closed it and seriously looked him up and down.
He raised and eye brown and Gibbs who was watching humorously and then turned back to Ziva with his hands spread
"What is NCIS?" she asked
He rolled his eyes. That was the least pressing question he would have asked her and she was asking about the origin of an acronym.
"Naval criminal investigative service." he sighed. He always had to inform civilians on the name of his occupation but never his partner. For her part she was taking the whole situation quite well as she listened and asked relevant questions and then read a newspaper.
"Same war." she muttered and Gibbs grinned remembering how he had uttered those same words while his memory was set back. The doctors remained less concerned as they knew the amnesia was normal until two weeks had passed and Ziva still thought she was 20 years old and morning her sister. Some nights she would sneak around and explore the hospital. Not to escape but remember. Then she would spend the day asking Gibbs when she could go home to Israel.
"Ziva this is your home." he told her softly as he shook his head for what felt like the billionth time.
"I know. But it doesn't feel like It." she would mumble sadly.
Days later she was taken on a felid trip to NCIS to try and jog her memory. She sat in the back of the car as Gibbs drove and Tony rode shot gun. She preferred not to have her back to them. Tony liked old Ziva but not this Ziva who suspected him and watched him cautiously and forever in fear and sadness. He watched her in the wind mirror as she stared out the window with her iPod in her ears as she got used to her new music taste and the busy roads and views of Washington.
"I want Ziva back." Tony whispered to Gibbs sadly.
"I know. We need to help her." Gibbs replied with his eyes on the road.
"I don't want lot to end up like Adam Sandler in 57 Dates. (Is it 57?) I don't want her to forget she loves me." He bit his lip and continued to watch her as she bobbed her head to the music and stared out at the monument they were passing.
"She will get better, CT scans showed no permanent damage." Gibbs talked Doctor encouragingly. "The doctor I talked to calls it pain memory loss. She has been through a lot and we have to assure her this is where she belongs."
Tony knew the facts but he couldn't get over the lack of sparkle in Ziva's eyes.
"Hey!" Ziva piped up as she pulled out her ear plugs "I know the words to this song! It was released last month and I know the words!" she beamed like a kid and put the buds back in and began swaying to the song. Tony couldn't help smiling. One thing was the same, one thing, that damn song.
They reached the office and Ziva was surprised that she wasn't given a visitors badge but was just let in to the elevator doors and rode up the bull pen.
The office was quiet as it was a Saturday and people were at home enjoying life away from work. Gibbs led Ziva towards her desk and let her choose which to sit at. In a few seconds she sat at her own. Tony beamed and Ducky who had just emerged told them it was a good sign of her remembering everyday activities. After that things only went up as she found her own way to Abby's lab, Autopsy and interrogation on her own. The day was going well until at 3pm she asked Gibbs if she could go home yet.
She felt wrong in her chair and the view from the window was unfamiliar. She still didn't remember Tony properly. Or Ducky or Abby. McGee hadn't shown up yet she just knew the area and her desk and the location of Tony's missing mighty mouse stapler which had been missing for about a month. Hope was there but Tony knew he couldn't find a bright spot until she remembered him and more importantly herself. Right now she was quiet and scared and no Ziva he had ever met but a new Ziva. A woman that looked like her but wasn't her. She was a Ziva he had never met as she had emotional boarders that were being stretched by years of becoming soft away from Mossad.
"Tony." the British accent behind him made him turn by default to hear Ducky's words "What she has is normal. Stop playing with her brain. Let her rest and let her come back to us."
He didn't argue he just nodded and crossed from his haven by the window to her desk and took her coat.
"I am taking you home now." he said his eyes on her waiting for her to make a sign of recognition. But none came.
"Alright." she stood and took her coat from him with a wince as their fingers touched lightly. He led her to the elevator and down to his car.
"Wait." she froze in the front seat as she sat down. "That smell." she paused and closed us eyes "I know this car! I know it so well!"
Of course. So many drunken lifts home in here, so many laughed so many memories so many kisses so many passion filled silences as they used to yearn to spill what they felt but were kept by boundaries. Tony's voice caught and kept his eyes locked on her. Hoping that any moment she would remember him and all they shared. But nothing. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Ari is dead?" pain in her eyes.
"I remember! And you I remember you! We had pizza and coffee in the rain! And Gibbs! And!"
"It's been almost seven years since then." he said. "Do you remember us?"
"No. I remember you were funny and charming but a little annoying." she shrugged weakly. "I am sorry... Maybe." she leaned across the car and kissed him on the mouth. He pulled away quickly. There was something horribly forced about that kiss which made the whole situation feel worse. He felt sick with the hole where her love had been and it felt like she had just rubbed salt in the wound.
"Sorry." she whispered and gathered up her knees to her chin. "I am tired."
He started the car quickly and pulled out of the parking spot. They drive all the way without a word to each other.
_
I considered not posting this arc because it makes me sad but I want to run these two through the some tests. Xoxox