A/N: I must apologize for the horrid southern accent here. I do NOT know how to speak or write it. I originally had more scenes with those characters, but that accent was such a pain I just cut most of it.

Perry opened his eyes and slowly drifted from sleep to a slightly less dreaming state, somewhere between slumber and wakefulness.

Slowly the platypus slid from under Phineas' arm, careful not to wake the boy, jumped on the floor without making a sound and climbed in the other bed, snuggling against the green-haired boy, who unconsciously put his arm around the furry little animal.

Perry closed his eyes, ready to drift back to sleep, when his wrist-communicator bleeped.

And he was completely awake in a fraction of a second.

Quickly silencing the device to avoid waking up the boys, he carefully inched away from under the arm. To his surprise, Ferb held onto him. Swiftly the agent performed the switch-a-platypus-with-a-decoy-maneuver, leaving a log in his place.

He'd be back soon.

What could Doofenshmirtz be up to in the middle of the night? Was he having trouble sleeping again, and decided to take it out on his neighbor who was breathing too loudly? No, not that, the doctor seemed to take pride in never repeating the same grudges or plans twice. Always searching for new ways to fail. But did he have to do it middle of the night? Perry reminded himself that he shouldn't let himself get too used to the odd schedule he and Doof had come to have. He was a villain, after all. A villain shouldn't try to time his schemes so that foiling them would be convenient for the good guys.

Maybe the usually vigilant agent was still a bit drowsy, or had his guard down because he wasn't expecting any of the humans to be awake middle of the night, or maybe adapting to the diurnal rhythm of his host family had dulled his nocturnal instincts, but he didn't notice the other figure before they had collided and he found himself wet with tap-water.

"You!"

The agent was used to quickly hiding his hat and taking on the appearance of a mindless pet. And luckily for him, it was dark anyway, so Candace never spotted him in his agent-mode.

The girl huffed, lifting the platypus outside.

"For an animal that doesn't do much, you sure know how to make a mess of things!"

And with that, the door was slammed shut behind Perry.

Well, he'd just have to use one of the numerous entrances that were on the front yard.

Perry did so and landed to his chair, ready to be briefed by his superior Major Monogram.

"Good morning, Agent P. I've got bad news and good news. The bad news is, you're being reassigned to a new, more evil villain. His name: The Regurgitator."

What? This wasn't about Dr. Doofenshmirtz? And he was- reassigned?

Perry didn't know how to feel about this.

He was vaguely aware Carl and Monogram were talking, but all that seemed far away, like seen and heard through a cloud. Still seen and heard, of course. Perry had gotten pretty good at zoning out but still being vaguely aware of what was being discussed, and still able to recall the conversation later if need be. Listening to Doofenshmirtz' evil monologues did that to you.

"-good news is you've been relocated away from your own family to this new family in the Quad-State Area."

That brought the agent back, and any conflicting emotions he felt for the new nemesis-situation were quickly buried under shock, disbelief and sense of loss.

Major Monogram's smile faded when Carl corrected him.

"Oh! Yes yes, of course. The bad news is the relocation, and the good news is the new villain thing. Uh...just make sure you take your belongings from the house when you leave."

That was done quickly.

He didn't have too many belongings. Most of the devices he needed in his job were provided by the agency, and outside his job by the Flynn-Fletchers.

That, and he was a platypus. As far as semi-aquatic mammals go, they aren't well known for their tendency to accumulate capital.

But still, he did a very thorough search, going through the house just in case there was something he missed. So when the humans of the house woke up and drifted downstairs for breakfast, the agent was still packing his things.

So he was there to hear Phineas being worried:" Yeah, but he's always here in the morning. I'd be devastated if something happened to him."

He should have left when they were still sleeping. It would have been easier.

Perry had known this was always a possibility, and he had even contemplated of leaving the Flynn-Fletchers for his job, but now that it was happening, he realized it was something he never would have decided to do on his own.

Fighting back tears he looked at his food bowl. 'Perry'. That was the name given to him by these people. Would his new family give him a new name?

He turned his back on his family and flew away with his jet-pack.

"What's this critter s'pposed to be? In all my born days, I haven't seen such a thing."

The father of Perry's new host family frowned, and prodded the platypus with his finger, provoking a slight "grrrt".

"I reckon it's a platypus", the son of the family, (Billy Joe, according the file on the family Perry had been provided with) told him.

Father Joe scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"One of dem egg-layin mammals?"

The son nodded, waving the letter that had come with the box. He read aloud:

"Congratulations, you are now a proud owner of a platypus. Have fun.

P.S. This is not a suspicious letter. Neither is that platypus. Or the circumstances under which it was left on your doorstep."

He stopped, looking confused:

"It must be some pet-adoption thin."

"It's no dawg, but it'll do just fine."

"What do you mean, Pa?"

"Well, I reckon they must be mighty fierce critters, what with being that's old, what'swith layin eggs an bein the sole survivin member of dem family Ornithorhynchidae. Outlived dem dinosaurs, didn't they? So I reckon that anything that can outfight a T-rex, could very well scare dem coyotes away from our back yahd!"

The father patted Perry's head before heading back inside the trailer-home with his son.

"Besids, Ma's been wantin to get some cosmo-poliitin ambiaans her'."

And with that the platypus was left outside alone. He decided to do some thinking (while decidedly conveying as little cosmopolitan ambience as he could). Perry was sure these were very nice people once you got to know them, but…

They weren't his family.

His thoughts were interrupted by a movement in the nearby crass.

Perry turned towards it, ready to defend the family if it indeed was a coyote. As he was determined to do the best guarding job he could while still keeping up the guise of a normal platypus.

However, it turned out to be a rattlesnake carrying a rock in its mouth. Perry didn't know the snake, but the small fedora sitting on its head identified it as an agent. The snake raised its rattle to its head in a salute, which Perry returned.

Looking satisfied (although with snakes it was generally difficult to tell), the reptile put the rock down. It turned out to be a small video screen disguised as a rock.

The screen blinked to life, showing the picture of major Monogram.

"Hello? Hello? Is this working? Agent P? Ah, it seems you've met Agent r. That's a small r. It's difficult to tell, I know, but believe me, I'm definitely pronouncing it 'r', and not 'R'. The agent R, that is, the capital R, is Rachael the Rasbora, We finally ran out of letters. And sorry for this, we haven't yet had the time to prepare your new hideout. Anyway, no time to waste! Your nemesis, The Regurgitator-" Perry inwardly flinched at that, "is up to something evil. Go stop him."

And with that, he was out.

Perry waited.

After ten seconds (a bit quicker than the platypus had expected) the major was back:

"Eh, I never gave you any directions, did I? You know, it was easier when you just went to fight Doofenshmirtz every day, anyway, Agent r should have your equipment."

The snake reached inside its fedora using its rattle and pulled out something that looked like a watch and handed it to Perry.

"State of the art Global Positioning System navigation device. Go on, turn it on." Monogram urged him, barely containing his excitement.

A bit wary, Perry did so. It wasn't that he didn't trust his superiors, but he was nevertheless relieved when all that happened was that a slightly accented man's voice emanated from the device:

"Turn, right. In five miles."

"Do you like it? Do you know who that was?" Carl asked, poking his head in the frame. "Go on, guess. It was Sean Connery!"

"Carl, get off the screen. It's smaller enough as it is, without you hogging half the screen. Anyway, Agent P, like Carl already told you, in a way it wasn't rehearsed, I might add, Carl, we were supposed to ask him to guess who it was, not just tell it outright!"

"Sorry, Sir."

"Well, the surprise is ruined now. And when we are going to get the next opportunity to record Sean Connery? By the way, Agent P, hiring Connery to do the voice-work used up most of our budget for this month, which would explain why we don't have new head-quarters prepared for you yet. Or any additional equipment. But it was worth it. Good luck, Agent P, you better get to work, that evil scientist isn't going to thwart himself!"

Perry was glad he still had his jet-pack with him. He just hoped it had enough fuel for the trip. If it didn't, he'd just have to improvise. He saluted Agent r again, and took off.

Perry was glad to get to work. Although it felt oddly wrong to be going to fight someone other than Doofenshmirtz. Perry had to wonder, what was Agent S doing? Could he take care of the doctor? True, quite often Doofenshmirtz's inators failed on their own without really needing any input from Perry, but still…

The doctor was his nemesis. Perry had had nemeses before, true, but it had never been like what they had.

He replaced me once.

Now where had that thought come from? It brought back memories of that incident, something Perry felt wasn't worth dwelling on. But there it was again, that tiny little part of him that felt glad this had happened.

Let the doctor see how it feels being replaced.

Perry mulled over the thought in his mind, deemed it spiteful and unprofessional, and not worthy of him. So he made a mental note never to feel like that again.

"Stop, descend 50 yards to your destination."

It seemed like his destination was somewhere under a rundown motel middle of nowhere.

Perry did a quick inventory on what he had:

His hat, of course, the jet-pack with no fuel, screw-driver(non-sonic), a rock that looked vaguely like President Lincoln, and his food-bowl that he had planned to leave to his new headquarters. Also a banana he had kept in his hat ever since the incident with the antipotassiuminator, that had turned into brown mush.

Somehow, using just these objects and his ingenuity Perry had to infiltrate Regurgitator's base that was, if you believed Sean Connery (and why wouldn't you), 50 yards underground.

Well, he could improvise.

Ten minutes later (which was actually a very good time to go from infiltrating your opponent's base to being captured) the agent was trapped. So far he had to admit the fully automated security system had been impressive.

That navigator had certainly come in handy. Perry was glad they had gotten Connery. That maneuver that had gotten him through the minefield would not have worked with the voice-recording of any other actor. Well, maybe George Lazenby. Perry wished the device itself hadn't been that expensive. That giant robot shaped like four smaller giant robots put together had done a number on it. In Perry's opinion, giving a robot both a laser-cannon and a flamethrower was overkill, but it certainly had destroyed Perry's guide.

Still, it was a giant robot, and as everyone knows, you can easily take one out with a mushed banana. If you had the agility of a ninja or a secret agent.

And maybe if that rock had resembled Lincoln more than just vaguely, the agent would have gotten past the motion-detection sensors without setting them off. But he hadn't, and (after an impressive fight scene where he had used the jet-pack as an improvised weapon) he had been captured by the robot ninjas.

And now he seemed to be detained inside a metallic container, his arms chained to it. Perry carefully tested them, slightly trying to pull free. The mechanic restraints responded by tightening their grip.

So, he'd need to think this through. Maybe if he still had his screw-driver (non-sonic) with him, he could have tried using it to disassemble the device. But after what that guard-shark had done to it, he wasn't sure he wanted it back, even if it hadn't partially melted.

He could just see the green-glad villain other side of the huge room, his back turned on Perry, but the agent couldn't hear anything outside of the device he was trapped in.

But if this thing was sound-proof, how was he going to hear his evil monologue?

And was he even going to monologue to him? So far the Regurgitator had just ignored the platypus.

Perry craned his neck, trying to see what his opponent was doing. And why there were flashes of lightning inside the laboratory. He could see the green-glad supervillain he recognized from the file photo, his back turned to the platypus, and it seemed like he was speaking with someone-

The agent felt like a rock had dropped in his stomach, and he had to remind himself to continue breathing.

What was Doctor Doofenshmirtz doing there?

He wasn't supposed to be there, he wasn't his nemesis anymore. But if that was true, why did Perry feel like he had been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to?

From the angle he was in, the platypus couldn't see either villain well enough to read their lips, but it seemed the Regurgitator was… Ordering Doofenshmirtz to make coffee.

Perry's eyes widened. Surely Doctor Doofenshmirtz wasn't staying? How was he going to be able to escape Regurgitator's trap and fight him with his ex-nemesis watching?

It was just awkward.

Said ex-nemesis casually walked to the device trapping the agent, and circled it giving it a critical eye before bending down and knocking on the glass with a grin and an "I see you got yourself trapped already. Well, saves me the trouble."

"Don't waste your time with that animal. He can't even hear you!", Regurgitator announced with another flash of lightning.

"What? Why would you do that! And what you mean 'an animal', well I guess he's technically-"

"Didn't I ask you to make coffee?"

This time the accompanying flash seemed a bit more inpatient, and the music cue slightly more threatening, prompting a meek "Yes, Sir" from the smaller and scrawnier scientist.

Who went to make coffee.

Perry couldn't believe his eyes. Doctor Doofenshmirtz was working there now? He was planning to stay? Did he expect Perry to break free and start thwarting him? Or was he going to work as a henchman? Why did he have to make this so difficult? Didn't he realize they weren't nemeses anymore? Why was he making Perry ask all these questions?

Now he was talking with his new boss. Regurgitator's back was turned to the platypus, but he could see what Doof was saying:

"Wait a minute. First of all, he's my nemesis! And you can't get rid of him now... Where's the fun in that? You need to explain your whole plan to him. Don't you have a nemesis?"

So, apparently he didn't get it.

Did he just expect them to keep on doing what they had in Danville?

He was just so difficult sometimes.

The doctor stared at the platypus. The platypus stared right back.

Perry wasn't certain what Doofenshmirtz was thinking. His expression was unreadable, which was quite atypical for someone whose emotions usually were very visible on his expressive face. But now Perry was puzzled, and studied the human's face, trying to read his mind.

Doctor Doofenshmirtz averted his eyes.

And with a hiss, the screen separating them was lifted. Even with that, Perry was still trapped by the arm restraints. However, his legs and tail were free. Perry quickly evaluated his chances. He could turn enough to hit the doctor with his tail, but that would still leave him trapped, unless he managed to get his arms free. And he wasn't even sure where Regurgitator was at the moment. But still, this seemed like an opportunity that was too good to waste. But-

"Just look at the workmanship here, Perry the Platypus."

Doofenshmirtz's tone was conversational, but had a certain odd stiltedness to it, that made Perry stop in his tracks and pay attention.

"I mean, it's pretty good, but it lacks certain necessary features. Well, good thing I'm here, right? Good for him."

And he was now very pointedly not looking at the platypus, while working on the trap.

"But I have to admit, his hideout is impressive. He has to have a huge budget. But it lacks some very important features, I think I should get to work here."

He stopped, and now Perry could tell he was nervous, and trying to keep his voice low. Like he didn't want the Regurgitator listening in.

"I'll modify it so you can hear me. That really was the biggest flaw in this design, I mean, who'd make a trap sound-proof? It makes no sense. But if you'll wait a while, I'll monologue to you later. Just give me time to work on it. My evil speech, that is, that's what I'm referring to. You wouldn't want the speech to suck."

Was he doing what Perry thought he was? He had certainly acted oddly, and seemed to be hinting at something.

Not to mention the fact that after his modifications the inside of the trap now had a red button labeled 'open', just nicely in reach of Perry's webbed feet.

Doctor Doofenshmirtz was helping him.

He could just take the chance to escape the trap. But Doctor had insinuated he should wait. But Perry wasn't particularly happy with following Doofenshmirtz's plan, since, well, they had the tendency to fail. And he was evil. But, technically, not his nemesis at the moment.

It didn't sit well with Perry at all to follow Doofenshmirtz's lead like this. He had done it before, he supposed, when his plans hadn't been particularly evil, but this was Perry's assignment. It was his job to stop The Regurgitator.

But, oddly enough, it felt like he owed his nemesis (his EX-nemesis, he quickly corrected himself) this. Which, as far as justifications went, was pretty pathetic. But he knew Doof. Perry would let him do his thing, and if it looked like it was endangering anyone, it would be simple for the agent to step in.

But for now, Perry would observe.

"Don't look at me like that, Perry the Platypus. I know what you're thinking."

That if you indeed have some plan, you should get to it? Before I decide to escape and stop him myself?

"I-I'm not some lowly intern. I'm an evil scientist! I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz and he should be bowing down to me!"

Close enough.

Perry watched Heinz Doofenshmirtz stroll to the bigger man, and say:

"Hey you, Mr. Regurgitator! Let's get things straight!"

"What?"

Regurgitator's absentminded reply was enough to make Doofenshmirtz lose any self-confidence he had gained, and with an

"Okay, okay.",

he quickly retreated.

"See that, Perry the Platypus? Compromise."

Perry was unimpressed.

"Who am I kidding? Grrr."

The doctor approached the Regugitator again, more visibly nervous this time.

"You can do it, you can do it. Okay, Regurgitator! I've done everything for you. See those hard-to-reach files up there? Well I invented these rocket shoes just so you can reach them! And look at this! I even put in the self-destruct button that you forgot!"

This got the Regurgitator's attention:

"What? Why is it counting down?"

"Okay, well, I may have pressed it by mistake. But at least I didn't push the release button I installed inside Perry the Platypus' cage!"

Perry took this as his cue to break out. The press of the button released him, and the door of his prison flew open.

"Look what you've done! You've pushed my buttons for the last time, you disturbed lunatic!", the Regurgitator bellowed.

Perry quickly assessed the situation. His priority was disposing of the Regurgitator, and quickly, before he'd have time to take out his anger on Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Would he have time to run to the Regurgitator and attack him before he could act?

And then Perry saw where the Regurgitator was standing.

All this flashed through his mind in less of a second, observing the situation, calculating the risks and coming up with a plan before the Regurgitator had even finished his sentence.

Perry needed something to activate the switch…

His food bowl.

Perry ignored the very slight pang of remorse. In the end, it was just a piece of plastic. His mission was more important.

With a clank the bowl hit the switch, turning the vacuum tube on for full power.

The Regurgitator's attention was still mainly focused on the other human.

"Get ready for…"

What Doofenshmirtz should have gotten ready for, Perry never found out, as the villain was interrupted by the vacuum tube sucking him in, and with a shrill scream, Regurgitator was blown away.

"We did it! We did it! Lo hicimos! We did it!", Dr. Doofenshmirtz cheered, apparently forgetting the whole 'self-destruct'-thing.

But Perry hadn't. They had to get out of there before the whole place blew up! Perry's gaze fell on the rocket boots. Had Doofenshmirtz actually planned ahead? The agent jumped in the boots (that fitted surprisingly well his tiny feet), grabbed hold of the doctor and together they flew out of the base the same way the Regurgitator had, but with significantly less screaming and flailing.

This was wrong. Them working on the same side like this. Every sense of Perry was screaming how completely and utterly wrong and unnatural it was for the nemeses to unite against a common threat like this.

And yet, it also felt in some small, odd way very right.

Perry's thoughts were interrupted by an incoming transmission from Major Monogram:

"Congratulations, Agent P. You've defeated the Regurgitator. As a matter of fact, he just landed in our prison. You can return to your host family, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz is once again your nemesis."

That lifted Perry's spirits. He could go back to the Flynn-Fletchers.

"So if we're enemies again, does that mean..."

And that too.

Perry let go, letting his nemesis fall.

"Aaaahhh, curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

Perry allowed himself a small smile. Everything would go back to normal.

Back the way it should be.

A/N: I always thought Doofenshmirtz partially planned thwarting the Regurgitator with Perry. Although he might have been thinking more about battling Perry as his nemesis than acting against his boss, and only wanted to free Perry to battle himself. But it's very possible he was fully aware of what he was doing and planned the whole thing.

Also, I wouldn't mind a GPS with a Scottish accent. I'd personally rather go for Frankie Boyle than Sean Connery, though.