Please see chapter one for all warnings etc…
Make My Heart Start Beating
32
Operation Avoid the Meerkat is in full swing. I'm not having to work too hard at it, I only have a few missed calls and texts from him each day, it's child's play. I'm careful to shop away from anywhere within easy cycling distance of him and the rest sorts itself out.
My family are frowning at me but I'm snowballing them by throwing myself at the barbeque with such enthusiasm they don't suspect a thing, I'm hiding behind the excuse of it being so great to see everyone and this is the last year we'll be able to do this as a big group as everyone is vanishing off to new jobs and new lives.
With only minor scheming I convince Finn to go out for the day with me and I take the day off at the garage. Coincidently the day falls on Sebastian's day off but I'm unfortunately out of town with Finn, bonding in a brotherly fashion, together, here's me being selfless and brotherly to Finn. I'm practically a saint and an incredibly good brother to my bro Finn.
Pleased I happily drive us home after an incredibly long day at the fun fair, I've even relented and eaten some junk food, we've been on all the rides, most of them twice. We've talked, we've laughed and my sides ache from laughing at him on the carousel holding a teddy bear.
We sing along to the radio and this is nice, I've missed him more than I realised. He's playing on his cell phone as we harmonise, he even duets with me on a few love songs.
Parking up at home I skip up the yard, "Finn that was a really great day out, we should do that more often," grabbing him in a hug I tell him, "I love you brother dearest."
"Love you too bro," he gives me a goofy grin and hands me back my cell phone, oh, he'd been playing with my cell on the way back. Sneakily I check my texts but he hasn't sent any and I've not had any from Sebastian today so that's good.
Really no texts are good, they are, it means he can move on, I can move on and we'll both be fine. We can put this whole thing behind us, he'll leave Lima and I'll stay here.
"Kurt," Carole ambushes me and looks guilty, "Dave's been hanging around all day, I've not been able to get any of these things, can you be a dear and get them for me?"
Glancing at the piece of paper she's shoved into my hands I nod, "That's fine," I'm tired and I want to sit down but I leave the house and run errands for her.
I'm only gone an hour and I hide the things in my car, I carry in a cheesecake to disguise my absence and call out "I'm home." There's a slight crash from the back of the house and a yell of 'Finn!' and then suddenly Carole's there chattering away and the cheesecake is being divided up as the others appear from the back acting suspiciously.
Narrowing my eyes I let it slide for now, I'll deal with them later. Tomorrow is the last day of planning and David and Kyle are still under the impression it's a normal party and barbeque.
I sleep badly and dream of Sebastian again, of being wrapped up in his arms, of green eyes that gaze into mine. Headachey and upset I fake sweetness and light all day at the garage until my head is blinding me and I'm forced to go home to take medication for it.
Crawling into bed I curl up in a ball in my nice dark room. Horney gets a giant hug and when dad comes to check on me I whine at him like a petulant child, because it really hurts.
"I know Kurt, your mom got them too when she was stressing out too much and overdoing it, I know just the trick to make it better," and then he leaves me, he must mean sleep.
Tucking my head under the blankets I drift off only to dream of Sebastian again, he's here in my room, "Mon tigre," his voice is soothing, "Kurt," a warm lean body slides in next to mine and fingers stroke the nape of my neck. Uncurling I wiggle closer to him and breathe him in.
Wrapping myself around him I doze off muttering, "Te sunt pulchre, so beautiful. Ego amare, ego amare."
Dream Sebastian asks me what it means and I tell him, his body stiffens so I kiss his shoulder, "Sh, just a dream, s'okay mon Coeur I know you're not real, not really here, you don't want me anymore, s'okay, just a dream."
"Not here?" He grunts sounding annoyed.
"Sh, you're pulsu cor meum," I cuddle in and the pain is starting to fade, his fingers go back to caressing my neck as he asks me what that means, "'S'rough, not right, but roughly? 'The beat or pulse of my heart'," I yawn and get sucked down.
My dream whispers into my ear, "You really are crazy mon amour," and I know he's a dream because he just called me his love.
It's dark when I wake up and I'm so warm. I nuzzle into my very comfy pillow and it moves under my cheek. In fact my sheets are moving too and then I blearily peer into tired green eyes.
"Morning Kurt," he whispers and then Sebastian is kissing me, I'm too surprised to protest and when his tongue slides in I somehow end up tangling my fingers into this hair and pull him down on top of me. He doesn't fight me and his hands start to roam over my body causing me to buck into him, "Ah Mon Tigre, as much as I want to do this we still have to talk."
"No, no talking Bas, just kiss me first," I try to kiss him but he won't cooperate, "Please Sebastian, it's okay I know you're leaving me, that's what you want to talk about..."
"What?" The body on top of mine freezes and he's glaring at me, "That's why you've been avoiding me? You buy me a flower, the first I've ever had by the way and I want more, then you avoid me while I wonder what the hell I've done wrong to the point where I came to see your dad and grovelled on my day off..."
He's not just glaring he's shaking in anger, getting off me he storms out of the bedroom and I run after him not wanting him to leave. It's a stupid fear as he's in boxers and a t-shirt, he's not even wearing socks. I follow him into the kitchen and the harsh glare of the lights at three am are momentarily blinding.
"Where the hell is the ice-cream?" He's rummaging around in the freezer. Pulling out the frozen veg he crows and slams the tub on the table. Awkwardly I stand there and watch him fill a bowl up with ice-cream and then put the frozen things away.
Going to the cupboard he looks at me, "Do you want sauce?" I shake my head and he grabs a spoon, the bowl, and then my hand as he storms past me and back up the stairs to my room. Pointing at the bed he says, "Sit."
So I sit.
Crowding in next to me he pushes me along and then we're both in the bed and he puts a small amount of ice-cream on the spoon and shoves it into my mouth before taking some for himself.
Silently we eat the ice-cream and I'm really confused because he's still angry but the dairy product is calming him down to the point that he laps at the spoon with his tongue and I have to shift a little at the images that conjures up.
Scraping the bottom of the bowl he sighs and puts the empty dish on the side.
Turning back to me he pounces and mock wrestles me to the bed, leaning over me he stares into my eyes, "Kurt, you have got to be the most annoying, complicated guy I know. Even women can't be as confusing and contradictory as you are. You do not give flowers to guys and then avoid them because you think you're breaking up. So we are going to talk about this, I looked online under relationships and most of it is a pile of touchy feely emotional trash aimed at women, and as girly as you act, you're not a girl but a guy so talk..."
And then he waits as I stare up at him.
Huffing he flops onto my chest, "Seriously Kurt what the hell set that off? What did I do wrong to make you think I wasn't interested? Should I have text you more, invited you over for a sleepover, done dinner, movie, what?"
"You said we needed to talk..." And I spill about how it doesn't end well for me and I was trying to get out of it with some dignity intact.
"You are such a guy," he wiggles and props himself up on his elbows, "I try and have a serious talk to you about us and our relationship and you freak out on me, but I can see why, so instead of talking, how about we give communicating a go instead? Okay?"
A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.
Oh look, more bad translations:
Pulsu cor meum – the beat of my heart (Latin)
Mon amour – My love (French)