edited 11/25/11
It's pretty hard to think, when you're waiting for your best friend but all you can think about is his safety. It's also pretty hard to think because you feel sort of guilty for having such distrust on a boy who you haven't even met properly. Yet Masaomi could only look at his cellphone, pushing buttons randomly, glancing at the broken window at the second floor of Raira High. Waiting to give his friend a ride to his apartment since he was still in the process of getting himself a car .
A broom and the rustling of glass being collected were the only sounds emitting from said room. There were only two people in 3B a young man, and a boy ; two complete strangers up until just a few minutes ago. Just a few minutes ago was all it took to develop a small but fragile bond between the two .A gentle breeze swayed through them as the young teacher swept the remaining glass toward the small trash scoop.
"Heiwajima-san."
The blonde youth turned around and began to stare at the man who called his name. He did so with such zeal it seemed as if he were searching for something inside of Mikado , something that only he could see.
"It's four in the evening I wouldn't want you to bump into trouble on the way home .May I offer you a ride ?"
"You don't have to...there's lots of people staying after school from clubs. I can just walk with them."
Mikado placed the broom near his desk.
"Ah,so I assume you'll be walking with your friends?"
Shizuo didn't say anything as he placed the chairs upward on the desks. He turned, only showing his back.
"I changed my mind."
"Oh?"
If Ryuuzaki?((Ryuugamine?)) -sensei's offer still stood it would be the second time he had ever went home with someone …
"I hope you don't mind Kida-sensei. Are you acquainted with him?"
Shizuo contemplated who in the hell Kika, or Kida(?) was, he was terrible at names. He remembered the time he was only five years old and he still called his brother 'Hey you!' or 'Kenji '.
"Is he blond?"
"Yes."
"Loud?"
Mikado laughed and Shizuo couldn't help but want to smile. The end of his lips moved.
"That's the one!"
It took a small amount of coaxing on Mikado's part but the other teacher gave in. Now, inside the car Masaomi turned off the radio(( thank god)) and Mikado took the passenger's seat. Shizuo placed his hands in his pockets staring at the window sitting stiffly in the back seat.
That was when Masaomi began to converse.
"Yo, Mikado so how was the first day of school?"
"It was great.I had a lot of fun today. "
"See? I told ya ,you just need someone to push you into things. Your always holding yourself back. This is why you don't get enough from the ladies!"
Mikado blushed.
"The reason why I don't is because a certain someone scares them away."
"As if I would!I'm the one that pulls them in. I'm a chick magnet for crying out loud!"
They were close,the boy thought. Shizuo wanted someone like that,someone to laugh with, someone to scold. He felt jealous. Why couldn't he have someone like that? Even if it was an empty relationship he wouldn't mind. Maybe he didn't deserve one. These are the type of thoughts he preoccupied himself with.
"What about you Heiwajima-san?" Masaomi grinned to himself, he was being awfully brave today.
"How are you with the ladies?"
"That's none of your business!"
Masaomi's grin grew larger. 'Virgin' he thought.
The rest of the car ride was filled with light conversation and playful banter. When they arrived at Shizuo's house, Masaomi's lips parted and his pupil's dilated. 'Could it be?' He tapped Mikado's shoulder.
"Hey! That's Kasuka's house!"
Shizuo ((who was walking toward his house)) turned back at the car.
"What's it to ya! Wait, how the hell do you know my brother's name?"
Masaomi was getting out of the car, if he was about to be pummeled he wouldn't want his baby to get hurt. He just put in the down payment. Mikado scuffled and stood in front of Masaomi in hopes of decreasing Shizuo's anger.
"Heiwajima-san, do you perhaps have an elder brother named Kasuka? If so, he's a good friend of ours.."
"Shizuo?"
It was Shizuo's mother , she held on to a small elephant shaped water canteen. She was watering plants until she came to see what was making all of the noise in front of her patio.
"Mother?" Shizuo had visibly calmed down, his fighting stance no longer apparent.
"Hello, we're Shizuo-san's young and not to mention handsome teachers. We just gave him a ride home since it was getting a little late." There he goes again. Attempting to flirt in the most tedious of times. "My names Masaomi Kida, a pleasure to meet you." An elbow met his waist, it was Mikado's way of saying 'behave yourself.'
Mikado and Shizuo's mother both smiled nervously. When Masaomi and Shizuo saw thier interactions in front of them, they couldn't help but notice they looked like two sets of mirrors. Both moved their arms nervously, smiled, and averted their eyes at the same time. Following a low, respectful bow. Both stuttered in saying their introductions and both became flustered when the other began to make conversation.
It was no surprise she had invited both to tea.
The teachers explained their relationship with Kasuka over tea and snacks. The Heiwajima's kitchen was homely, and everything was neat, and in order. A bit of a surprise knowing who lived here
Masaomi and Mikado began to tell Mrs .Heiwajima on how they had met Kasuka in elementary school and continued their friendship along with a group of others all the way toward high school. Over the years the group had all stayed in contact through use of phone calls and the internet. Mikado had just come back from China and this was the first time that all of their friends were present in one town, thus explaining how this was a perfect opportunity to hold a little reunion party.
"I'm sorry, but Kasuka isn't here at the moment. He just left to the grocery store." She placed sugar cubes on the table. "He'll be back shortly , your more than welcome to stay if you'd like."
Shizuo stared at his milk jar and placed his hands in his pockets. But of course this didn't went unnoticed by his mother.
"Shizuo-kun , why don't you ask your teachers for some help with your homework?"
Mikado nodded. "I would be more than happy to help."
He carefully reached for the history book, as if in a way, he was asking Shizuo for permission. Shizuo nodded. "I only have history homework today..."
"Mikado, giving homework the first day ? No wonder your so unpopular with the ladies, unlike a certain someone." Masaomi twirled his hair with his index finger.
Shizuo decided that he was glad that Mikado and his mother were so much alike because neither laughed at Masaomi's jokes.
"Why don't we give teacher and student some privacy?"
Mrs. Heiwajima ushered Masaomi out of the kitchen promising tales filled with photographs and more tea , leaving Mikado and Shizuo at the kitchen table.
Mikado smiled.
"When we're done you can show me your room..if you like."
Shizuo's pencil dropped.
"Oh, let me get that for you-"
Too late , Shizuo grabbed it quickly.
"Why?"
"Well," Mikado rubbed the back of his head. "I wanted to play some games ...if that was alright with you."
Shizuo's face became bright and just like that, he opened his textbook.
The sooner he started his homework the sooner he'd have time for some privacy with his teacher.
Shizuo's room could be condensed all into one word. Simple. There was only two pieces of furniture ,his bed and a bookshelf. The walls were white . It was clean,but the only place that looked as if it were used was his closet, which was slightly open at the moment. Clothes out of the opening as well as old toys and shoes.
Shizuo motioned for Mikado to take a seat on his bed.
Silence.
"I-I see your quite the reader. May I look at them?"
He had gestured over at the brown bookshelf.
When Shizuo tuned to raise his head the other was already over at the bookcase, head tilted to read the spines. "You like fairy tales a lot. I have quite a few on the Grim Tales at my apartment. " He said," You also seem to like cooking as well."
He picked a book from the shelf.
"Oh! A pastry book!" Shizuo noticed a glow that seemed to surround the elder male. Mikado began to smile, book clenched in his hands.
"May we look at it together?"
Shizuo blushed and started to stutter.
"I -I guess."
Mikado sat next to Shizuo, knees suddenly touching and for some reason Shizuo remembered all those times he saw other people, just like this. Sharing secrets, talking, eating. His hands began to shake and he grew excited ,this was the first time he had ever done this .Now he too can look like all those other kids that rejected him.
" This is a beginner's book. Have you made any of these yet , Heiwajima-san?"
" Nah, I suck at that stuff...I only keep that book to stare at the pictures..."
Mikado began to laugh. Is he laughing at me? That bastard!
" I'm sorry Heiwajima-san , but, you just stare at these? You don't attempt to bake any of these? None at all catch your eye?"
"It's not...that...they don't. I just..can't cook."
"Have you tried?"
" …..Whenever I try to crack the eggs they break in my hand."
Shizuo lifted his hand and extended them softly.
"They just slip."
Like many other things in my life. I'm so fucking lame that I'm just loosing everything.
"Maybe we should make some together some day. I really enjoy making cakes for others..actually I made a couple of these desserts already."
Shizuo became stiff.
" Are you serious?"
It seemed the invitation flew right over the blond's head and the only thing he heard was the baking of cakes.
"How did they taste like? Do they look just like the pictures?"
Mikado couldn't get enough at the change of attitude from Shizuo, he was finally acting like a cheerful teenage boy. He had even gotten the boy to speak more, allowing him to find out some interesting things about him that no one would have known. For instance, Shizuo was a fan of sweets, scratch that, an AVID fan of sweets. He took one Saturday of every month and spent his allowance at different cake shops around town. He had even shown Mikado a book in which he rated each of the shops he visited.
Soon, both of them began to grow comfortable with one another, the atmosphere was soothing.
"You were trying to say something earlier...but I got angry. Again."
Mikado turned to face Shizuo.
"It's fine it wasn't anything important."
A loud slam was heard. Mikado jumped.
"It's important to me!"
The boy registered on what he had just said and began to blush, he gulped and turned to the wall.
"S-sorry sometimes..I just..."
"It's alright."
There he goes again. Reasoning with him that things would turn out just fine , just like his mother always did. Shizuo I'm sure you'll do just fine on the test, Shizuo you'll be sure to make lots of friends this year. Shizuo, I'm sorry that your father died, but I'm sure he's always looking up at you in heaven. He's so proud of you like mommy is...
'Even if the neighbors don't love me, even if no one else loves me..'
Regardless if all of these things were empty he held them close.
" Heiwajima-san-"
"It's Shizuo."
Shizuo decided he would be a little braver. He decided..that he was going to take a risk.
"Ah, Shizuo-san?"
A blush. But on whom?
" That's fine."
Mikado started to become flustered waving his hands ,like he was washing some windows.
" I -I feel so happy for some reason...I mean, we're becoming friends pretty quickly!"
Shizuo nodded ,leaving them in comfortable silence. Nothing was strained. Nothing hurt and everything was perfect.
"It's been a while since we were together like this."
Kasuka nodded sipping on his tea. Many wouldn't think they hadn't seen each other in years( since the other was so calm and poised)..but there goes Kasuka for you. Masaomi chuckled.
"We sat like this as well right?"
'Mikado is so bubbly today, let me poke him.' Masaomi jabbed his finger at Mikado's shoulder.
"The only people we need to make our group complete is Aoba-kun, Sonohara-chan , and the twins. Mairu-kun and Kururi-kun."
" Y'know Aoba-kun was always too busy trying to suck your dick."
Tea was spat.
"Don't say things like that so casually!"
Kasuka spoke. "I agree."
"Kasuka-kun!" An incredulous cry from Mikado.
" See? Even Kasuka's with me on this one. I wouldn't be surprised if Aoba kissed the ground you walked on when your head was turned."
"Now you're just exaggerating."
Kasuka and Masaomi both exchanged knowing looks but changed the subject.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Kasuka's eyes shown mischievously , he kept a cool air. Both men knew that look...nothing good would come from this.
"Remember when Mairu-kun and Kururi-kun made us play truth or dare at our senior years bonfire?"
Masaomi started to laugh uncontrollably while Mikado started to fidget.
"Y-you swore you would never bring that up Kasuka-kun! Y-you...y-you."
As soon as Masaomi gained some composure he decided to tease Mikado a little bit more. "How can I forget? That's when they dared you two to kiss. Didn't they take photos?"
Kasuka nodded.
"I have some on my photo albums."
"P-please don't go get them! I have some at home anyway..."
"Awwww! I bet you have them all framed up with those crappy valentine themed ones."
"Masaomi!" He only used his first name when he was scolding him.
" Stop that Masaomi, " Kasuka sighed. "He wouldn't have them in valentines frames. Mikado-kun has better taste than that."
"Kasuka-kun!"
The three friends continued to catch up on the old times they shared. The nostalgia was too much to bear at times, so they focused on the present instead.
"So is your health any better Mikado-kun?"
When Kasuka asked this question everyone became tense, for the response was what they feared.
"I'm alright. I'm doing much better.
"Are you sure?"
" Yes."
'No', was what Masaomi and Kasuka thought but didn't tell him.
"Let's meet again this Friday!" Mikado cheerfully (but politely ) shouted.
"Yeah, Yeah!" Masaomi chimed in. "We'll gather everyone this Friday ,and go have another bonfire."
Kasuka started to write down what they were expected to bring and agreed to run it by the others.
After they had said their goodbyes to Shizuo and his mother, Kasuka walked his guests out.
He patted Masaomi in the back , thanking him for the visit. When he reached Mikado they embraced and he pulled the shorter man closer. "I'm glad your back."
When Mikado walked up the stairs he sighed. It wasn't the kind of sigh that meant "boring" it was the kind of sigh that meant "tired". There was a feeling in his chest that felt like a bubble, he was so excited to be back in Japan. He was in a new city, with old faces...but that wasn't new. This place felt like China, ((he lived in a city there too)) yet he missed it. Yet everything didn't seem real to him. He met a boy with uncanny strength, he saw the monstrous flare in his eyes when he tore things apart, but he also saw the compassion and...a feeling he couldn't put into words at this exact moment.
He fumbled for his keys.
In fact nothing ever felt real for this young man, but he accepts them just as is. Maybe that explains how he can adjust to all these strange and destructive people in his life.
-but it didn't explain a young raven haired teen on his coach.
" Welcome home Mikado-kun!"
" I'm back?" He said this out of habit. Then the interrogation began. "How did you get in my apartment?"
" I walked in through the balcony."
"But the door to that was locked too..."
" I picked it with a knife."
"Orihara-kun, it's a crime to do that you know."
" Not when your underage."
Mikado sighed, giving in.
"Make yourself at home."
He placed some bags on the kitchen table.
" You're going to let me just go like this? It's dangerous you know! Why did you ever let me in here in the first place Mikado-sensei?"
It seemed this boy was lying. Mikado knew this since the day he met the boy. Under this boys face was a facade, an innocent face revealing the devil. He decided, it was wise to be careful with this boy.
"The first time I let you in my house was to repay your favor."
The grin on the young boy grew larger as he stretched his hands.
"Now what is it this time that makes me invited in your home?"
"Curiosity."
Izaya gave the elder man time for himself to get ready, to change, and perhaps to prepare himself. After all who wouldn't want to look their best in front of him?After he graced them with his presence. Mikado came out a little later with his slippers on.
"Want anything to drink?"
" Your tea was too sweet yesterday, and your cakes...I hate sweets."
" T-then why didn't you tell me?"
" I wanted to try them. I still hated them. I gave the other cakes to my sisters. I threw all of them back up though, so there's no need to worry."
Mikado was emotionless.
" You said they were delicious."
" I lied."
Silence.
" The rice with shrimp? That was simply wonderful! Now, don't take it personal Mikado-kun. I just hate sweets. My sisters thought they were delicious though, their compliments. Did I hurt your feelings?"
He didn't say it out of concern, he said it in a mocking tone.
" No, it's fine. I'll make sure to make other things that you might enjoy in your next visit."
"You're so considerate Mikado-kun. You're so nice to me that you make me want to stab something!"
Silence.
Mikado was starting to become nervous, this kid, was too much. This kid.. was dangerously off.
"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about Orihara-kun?"
The teen grabbed his backpack and placed it on his back.
" Bingo! Neh, Mikado-kun. Come with me somewhere. I want to show you something. A treasure! "
"At this time of night?" Eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.
The boy turned serious, the most serious in the two days he had met him. He seemed five years older than he really was.
"It's my secret and I want to show it to you."
Mikado could breath again.
" In return you can ask me any question you like."
Mikado stood up to grab a coat. He didn't have much of a choice did he?
" Will you tell me the truth?"
Izaya smiled sweetly.
"I never said that."
The night was like a splatter of dark hues, it looked like a painting. Splattered with white and silver and gold. Izaya wondered, what would it be like if he could actually feel the sky. He wondered if it would feel like sex, or would it feel like cracking an egg. But there was no time to think about these things. Mikado was with him. Why is it that whenever he was with him he thought of the most important things?
"Orihara-kun where are we going? Isn't this the sewer?"
The water was spewing from the pipe and the smell was absolutely horrid. Mikado placed a sleeve on his nose. Izaya walked a little further until he found what he wanted to show the teacher.
It was a dead body, to be exact a whole skeleton. The hands still had some dead flesh, and it had a gray look to the pieces of old skin . It smelled awful.
"Orihara-kun..."
"Look, there's more!" A little further down was a little small bag, he opened the bag and Mikado gagged.
"W-what's in there?"
"Cats, dead cats."
Mikado didn't know why was he here. He didn't know why he wasn't throwing up. He didn't know why he was in Ikebukuro, where he could hardly see the sky because of the pollution and because he always tried to live in a city when he really belonged in a field.
" Is this...your treasure? Your secret?"
Izaya had never looked prouder.
" I didn't kill it, I just found it one day and visit it every once in a while." Izaya opened a can of coffee.
" I like to come here and think, give it company."
"And the cats?"
" I found them like that. Here too! Why? Are you grossed out?"
" ...You should tell the police. What if someone continues to kill people..and animals. They dump them here and get off free?"
" That's ok because I love them."
Mikado looked at him like he just threw up.
" Y-you know the person that killed them?"
" No, I just..I just love all humans! They're so interesting, the way they act, the expressions they make. They're so perfect."
If one would hear this young boy at any given day one would say he really was in love,expressing his said love.
'But this isn't love' Mikado thought. 'It couldn't be.'
" Except Shizuo. He's a disgusting piece of shit."
" I think.. that sort of love should be for one person."
They stood on top of the bridge, above the skeleton and the dead bodies of animals. Mikado walked quickly to get there and would prefer to stay there. He started to walk on the edge while Izaya watched him quietly.
" I can't love just one person...that would be too selfish of me, don't you think?"
Mikado didn't speak for he was too busy staring down at the river going toward the sewer pipes. He saw bottle caps, and plastic bags, he even saw cereal boxes along the stream. The height was grand, so grand that if you fell from there you would clearly die. Mikado didn't know it at the time but this was the exact same spot Shizuo came to think as well. Another bond they shared, yet didn't know they had.
" So what did you think of the skeleton? Where you scared? Disgusted?"
This is it , Izaya thought. This is when I can determine the type of person he is.
" I...didn't feel anything. I was surprised...I had seen bodies on television and movies. Those were fake and I." He stopped and his eyes became unsteady. "...actually. This doesn't seem real to me."
He started to feel dizzy.
"None of this feels real to me at all."
It was a quick moment , a second but Mikado was slowly falling down. To an outsider it seemed fast, but to Izaya it was all in slow motion. He grabbed on Mikado's leg and started to pant heavily, pulling him up.
For some reason , Mikado found this position familiar. Both persons trembling, both persons panting of exhaustion, and Izaya's expression was the same as his was.
It was the same as Shizuo's.
It was at that moment that Mikado realized what was off about Izaya. It was at that moment that he figured out that look Shizuo had that he just couldn't put into words. It was at that moment that Mikado found something that Izaya and Shizuo had in common.
Those eyes, that held on to him, pleading. Boring onto his skull, those trembling hands that held his knee at the moment.
Izaya lifted his head when both were safely secure on the ground. Sure enough it was that same expression Shizuo had on his face when he had just destroyed the classroom.
It was loneliness.
[It was at that moment that Mikado realized that these two young boys were desperately lonely. ]
He stood up and helped the younger boy up (who was laughing so much he was crying).
" Mikado-kun you're such a tease!"
Mikado frowned. He didn't know why he felt so weak.. he had taken his medicine after all.
He then decided, he would help these two boys. And maybe, just maybe he could cure them of their loneliness.
No matter how mentally ill one was, or how socially awkward the other one was.
He would try.
Thank you.