Yes, I know it is not Tuesday. I have something going on that will keep me from posting and I didn't want to make you guys wait for it so I am a day early. So sit back and enjoy.
The next day was the same as yesterday. The team continued to take turns sitting with Emily while she slept. The only difference was that she was waking up more often and was engaging in short conversations before going back to sleep. This was a step in the right direction on her road to recovery. The worry that gnawed at each member of the team began to ease. Each was looking forward in their own way of getting reacquainted with their long absent friend.
Rossi stood out of the way by the window while the nurse checked Emily's vitals. She made a slight clucking noise as she noted Emily's blood pressure, pulse and temperature.
"Everything all right?" he asked.
The nurse smiled at him. "She's running a slight fever but it's nothing to worry about. It could be gone in a couple hours but we'll keep an eye on it." She wheeled her blood pressure machine out of the room.
Rossi was about to resettle in the visitor's chair when Erin Strauss strolled in with a small flower arrangement. He raised an eyebrow in amusement. This was the second night in a row he had unexpected company during his shift.
"Chief Strauss," he acknowledged.
"Agent Rossi," she said as she looked for a place to set the planter. The room was almost bursting with flowers, balloons, a 'Get Well Soon' banner and a couple of stuffed animals besides Rossi Jr. who occupied the choice spot at the head of Emily's bed. She settled for squeezing it between two other arrangements on the windowsill.
"How is Agent Prentiss doing?" she asked, coming to stand next to Dave and gazed down at the slumbering agent.
"As well as to be expected after getting the crap beat out of her and then shot," he responded, letting a bit of his irritation at Doyle surface.
"Then she is expected to make a full recovery, at least physically," she added at the very last moment.
"Yes." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Physically and mentally," he stressed.
Strauss turned. "Am I correct in assuming that she hasn't been awake long enough to assess her mental stability."
"Yes, but…"
"So we don't know how much the five months of isolation has taken a toll on her psyche."
Rossi grabbed Strauss by the elbow and steered her to the doorway of Emily's room. Far enough away that they shouldn't disturb her but still close enough to keep on eye on her.
"Erin, are you looking for a way to use emotional instability to railroad Emily out of the Bureau?" he demanded.
"Dave, I do not need to manufacture excuses to remove a bad agent," she said coolly. "Her actions over the last couple of days and five months ago prove she is not fit to serve in the Bureau."
"How so?"
"When she first learned of Doyle's escape, did she turn to us for help?" She cocked an inquiring eyebrow at him. "No, she didn't. She kept it to herself."
Rossi shook his head slightly. "You know perfectly well that Prentiss couldn't tell us. The mission was classified and she was under strict orders not to talk about it."
Strauss rolled her eyes. "It's not the mission itself that bothers me. It's her personal relationship with the man. A good agent does not get involved with their targets. When the task force got close to unveiling her dirty little secret, she ran. Agent Prentiss went rogue and pursued him with vengeance on her mind. If she took him out first, her secret would be safe. Would you want to work with someone like that?"
He glared at her. "In a heartbeat, Erin. In a heartbeat." Rossi paused and studied her for a moment. "Do you want to know what I think?"
Strauss crossed her arms as she stared back at him. "Of course."
"You're still ticked off that Emily refused to dig up any dirt on the team. That she had the gall to defy you and resigned instead."
"How did you…?" Strauss sputtered.
Dave winked at her. "I know more about what happens around the Bureau than you think I do. That woman," he pointed at Emily. "Embodies everything the Bureau stands for. Emily wasn't protecting her relationship with Doyle. She was trying to protect her family and a little boy. She was willing to give up her life to keep all of us safe and she almost died. Twice. What she did in my eyes was a true act of unselfishness."
Strauss opened her mouth to retort but he cut her off. "If you try to pursue this vendetta against Emily, I'll fight you all the way and I know how to fight dirty."
She looked at the profiler and knew it that instance that he would. She fumbled for a way to save face. "Firing her is a moot point anyway. Technically she no longer works for us."
"On paper perhaps," Rossi conceded. "But I believe the Bureau paid for her fake funeral and her medical bills. They wouldn't have if they hadn't considered her a valuable agent."
"So what do you want me to do?" she huffed.
"Think about the unit and the team and what is good for them, not about yourself. Also let Prentiss be the one who decides if she wants to stay or leave."
"You think it is that simple?"
"It is."
"If you two want to bicker like children," Emily groused sleepily from her bed. "Go do it in someone else's bedroom." She yawned and went back to sleep.
Emily's retort brought their argument to a crashing halt.
"Do you think she heard us?" Strauss asked, eyes wide in shock.
"Probably. Just bless your lucky stars that when she wakes up later she won't remember that you were even here."
Strauss bristled at that. She hesitated and then smoothed out her expression. Pretending to straighten her suit jacket, she turned and wordlessly stormed down the corridor to the banks of elevators.
A little bit latter Emily stirred. Slowly she opened her eyes and blinked lazily at the ceiling. Rossi leaned forward in his chair.
"Hey there, kiddo," he greeted her softly.
"Dave?" She asked, focusing on his smiling face.
"The one and only."
The corner of her mouth curled into a smile. "I had the weirdest dream."
"You did?"
"Yeah. You and Strauss were in it."
Uh oh, Dave thought. This is not sounding good. He wondered again how much of their argument Emily had overheard. "We were?" he asked aloud.
"Yes." Emily frowned as she attempted to recall the fading images. "The two of you were my parents and you were fighting over how to punish me for sneaking out of the BAU to go to a Barry Manilow concert."
He chuckled. "That is a weird one."
Emily looked at him confused. "Why would I be dreaming about Strauss? I don't like that woman."
"You're probably not the only one. She had stopped in briefly to see how you were doing. I would say that you heard her voice while you were sleeping."
"She actually came here?" she asked in disbelief. "I figured she would just call in and check with the nurses."
"It looks better to the higher ups when you make a personal appearance. Shows them you care about your subordinates."
Emily rolled her eyes. "Thank god I slept through her visit."
"You didn't miss anything," he lied. He watched her shift uncomfortably on the bed. "Can I get you anything?"
"A drink of water would be nice," she said, licking her lips.
He grinned. "One cup of cold water with a bendy straw coming up."
Rossi turned to retrieve the newly refilled pitcher of water. He poured out a fresh cup and stuck a blue straw in. When he turned back Emily was fast asleep. Smiling he set the cup back on the table.
"You rest, Emily, and don't worry about Strauss. The Woodsman will take care of the Big Bad Wolf."
JJ paused and took a sip of water from the bottle nestled between her and the side of the chair. For the past hour she had been reading aloud from Vonnegut's Piano Player, one of Emily's favorite authors. It seemed like only yesterday she was sitting next to Emily in the ICU doing the same thing. She must have gone through over six books in those long two weeks. JJ couldn't remember what the books had been about, she had be more focused on making sure Emily heard a comforting voice and letting her know that she was not alone.
"Don't stop. You're getting to a good spot."
Emily's voice snapped JJ out of her reminiscing. She laughed. "How long have you been awake?"
"For a while," Emily said, smiling. "I was enjoying the story and then you had to stop and start daydreaming. Then I got bored."
"Sorry. I was just thinking about the two weeks I sat with you in the ICU. I read to you so many books I can't remember the titles or what they were about." JJ looked at the book in her hand. "I wouldn't be surprised if this one was from that group. Guess I was having a flash of déjà vu."
"I'm not," Emily replied. "This room is a hell of lot better than the one in ICU." She gazed at the flowers and the 'Get Well' wishes decorating the room.
JJ also looked around. "Definitely. They wouldn't let you bring in anything except yourself and a book."
"Where did this come from?" Emily asked, fingering the solid pale yellow fleece blanket covering her.
"Take a wild guess," JJ suggested with a smile.
"Penelope?"
"You got it on one. She said the hospital blankets are too thin and scratchy. She wanted you to be warm and itch free. She was going for a lot brighter shade, neon yellow I believe, but Morgan managed to talk her out of it. He said the glare from the blanket would burn your eyes out of your head."
Emily laughed then winced at the pain in caused. She wrapped her good arm around her ribs.
"Em? You okay?" JJ asked in concern.
"I'm fine. Forgot one should not laugh with cracked ribs."
"And broken ones," JJ chimed in.
"Really?" When JJ nodded, Emily muttered, "Crap. What else have I bruised, cracked or broken?"
JJ quickly gave her a running tally of all her injuries. When she was done Emily leaned back against the pillows, closed her eyes and said 'crap' again.
She reopened them. "How long am I going to be stuck here?"
"Two weeks. One for each concussion you managed to get from letting people bop you in the head," JJ joked. Emily merely groaned.
"Think of it this way, Em. You've already slept through two days so you really have less than two weeks."
Emily looked at her stunned. "I've been here for two days?"
"Yes."
"Please tell me you haven't been here for the entire time."
"No, I haven't. Everyone has been taking turns to sit with you," JJ reassured her.
"Everyone?" Emily asked in surprise.
"Yes." JJ frowned. "Why are you surprised?"
Emily started to pick at the tape on her splinted fingers. JJ reached over and placed her hand over Emily's. "Stop that," she says softly. "Em, why are you surprised?" she repeated.
She looked away. "I just figured that some of the team wouldn't want to see me. I shattered their trust in me when I walked out of the BAU."
"No, you didn't. Yes, there were some hurt feelings but those went away when everyone realized you were only trying to protect Declan and us. Now everyone is relieved that you are still alive and back home." JJ squeezed her hand.
Emily gave JJ a small thank you smile. "Can you call and let them know that I'm awake and that they don't have to keep a constant eye on me? That they can see me any time they want?"
"Sure." JJ said. "I'll do it right now." She pulled out her phone and started dialing.
Emily closed her eyes and listened to JJ talking to each of her friends. It was good to know that no one hated her but she also knew that she couldn't pick up the friendships from where she had left off. She had a lot of making up to do and now was a good time to start.
"JJ?" she asked when JJ had hung up for the last time.
"Yes, Emily?"
"I owe you an apology."
Confusion flirted over JJ's face. "For what?"
"For the way I treated you in those last weeks before I was moved to Paris. I never should have banned you from my room. I was hurt and angry."
JJ sat back in the chair and let out a light laugh. "Oh, Em. There's nothing to be sorry for. If anyone needs to apologize, it should be me. I was the one who dropped the bombshell on you."
The sound of her shoes clicking on floor followed JJ as she walked down the corridor. As she went by the nurse's station, she nodded to the nurses on duty. When she had first started coming to Bethesada she had to show the staff her credentials. Now she knew everyone by name and that included the protection detail. JJ slowed as she neared Emily's hospital room.
The last six weeks had been the toughest she had ever faced, so many difficult choices to make and lies to tell. One of the hardest was lying to Will. On the day of Emily's hospitalization, the Director of the FBI had contacted her boss at the State Department and requested her assistance on a special assignment. This allowed her to spend every day at the hospital with Emily. Will knew of the assignment but he thought in was at the Pentagon. Every day she would drive to work then hop on the subway and get off at the hospital. It was a precaution she took on the off chance that Doyle was watching her.
Lying to the team also weighed heavily on her. She had stood and watched, as Emily had been loaded on the helicopter for her flight to Bethesda. The tears she had shed when she told them their friend was dead were real. They were partly from how devastated they looked and partly from the doctors saying that odds were slim that Emily would make it through the night. JJ smiled when she thought of how wrong they were.
Next were the medical decisions. Emily had entrusted to JJ her medical power of attorney years ago but she couldn't use them. To the world Emily Prentiss was dead. Hotch had to create a new one under Emily's assumed name: Lee Atwater. JJ didn't like the feeling of holding her friend's life in her hands but she took it seriously. She carefully examined every procedure and checked out all the medications to make sure Emily was receiving the highest quality of care available. She had even instructed the staff to call Emily 'Em' stating that it was a nickname she went by. Mainly she did it because she didn't want Emily to be confused if the nurses happen to call her Lee.
The most difficult part she had thought at the time was in the ICU, sitting next to her friend's bedside listening to the constant beeping of her heartbeat and watching the ventilator breath for her. She brought a book with her every day and read from it aloud, hoping that her voice would be of some comfort to her friend and to let her know she was not alone. Eventually they weaned her off the ventilator but she still did not wake. After two long weeks Emily finally opened her eyes.
The first few weeks following Emily regaining consciousness were easy compared to the later ones. She slept a lot and was content to listen to JJ read or hear her talk about the team's current cases that Hotch, bless his heart, kept JJ updated on. Because she was so doped up on pain medication it was easy to deflect any questions she asked about the team or her mother visiting. When asked, JJ simply said the team was off on another case and would stop in when they got back and her mother was out of the country on a new assignment. Emily accepted the answers without question. JJ didn't think Emily was ready to be told the reality of her situation. She was too weak so JJ waited and kept pushing it back even when Emily grew stronger.
Now she couldn't delay the inevitable. Hotch had called this morning to inform her that in two weeks Emily was scheduled to be moved to a convalescence home on the outskirts of Paris. Today became her worst day ever for now she had to tell her best friend that she was dead.
JJ took a deep breath and knocked on the doorframe.
"Come in," came Emily's voice.
She stepped inside the room and quietly closed the door behind her. Emily was sitting in a chair gazing out the window.
"Hey," JJ said.
Emily turned and smiled. "Hey back at you." She turned her gaze back outside. "It looks beautiful out there," she sighed whimsically. "The cherry trees must be blossoming on the Mall."
JJ took a seat in the empty chair. "They are."
"Do you think you can convince them to let me go outside? I've been cooped up in this room for weeks and weeks."
"I can try," JJ said, smiling. "So how are you feeling today?"
"Not bad. I made it around the floor twice without having to take a break. I may not be winning foot races any time soon but at least I am moving." Emily grinned.
JJ chuckled. "And that corpsman you threaten to maim if he didn't stop hovering while you walked?" She knew how much Emily disliked being coddled by the staff. She insisted on doing everything on her own.
Emily scolded. "He's still there but following at a discreet distance. Some Marine. All I have to do is look at him cross-eyed and he vanishes." She then smiled mischievously. "Sometimes I do it for fun."
"You're incorrigible, you know that?"
"I do," Emily said with a laugh.
JJ sighed and looked out the window while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
Emily cocked her head to one side, sensing something was off with her friend. "JJ, what's wrong?"
She turned to face Emily. "I have something I have to tell you and I know you are not going to like it."
Emily shifted uneasily in her chair. She knew for a while that something was weighing on JJ but she didn't know what. Now it looked like she was about to find out. "Just spit it out, JJ."
"Okay. Hotch called me today and said that in two weeks they would be moving you to a convalescence home outside of Paris."
Emily looked at her confused. "Paris? Why would I be going there? Can't I simply do that in my apartment?"
JJ bit her lip. "You don't have an apartment anymore."
"What? Did my mother's accountant get bored and stopped paying the bills?"
"No. The builder manager put your apartment on the market when he was notified," JJ paused to gather her nerve to say the next words, "of your death."
Emily stared at her in total shock. "My death?" she finally managed to get out. "Who would tell him such a thing like that?"
JJ lifted her head to look Emily directly in the eyes. "I did. Em, we held your funeral six weeks ago. You killed in the line of duty and was buried with full honors."
She sagged back in the chair. "I'm dead," she whispered. Suddenly her eyes flashed in anger and she straightened. "Why the hell wasn't I consulted about this? It is my life after all."
"Because there wasn't time. You were unconscious, Em. So Hotch had to act quickly and faked your death to protect you," JJ explained.
Emily almost exploded from the chair but pain from the injury kept her seated. "HOTCH? Who gave him the damn right to take my life away?" she hissed.
"He had no choice," JJ said trying to calm her friend. "He had to keep you safe while
we searched for Doyle."
Emily felt like she had just been suckered punch and her anger faded. "He's still out there?"
"I'm sorry, Emily, but he is. We'll get him."
Looking down at her hands, she said, "The team was never going to visit were they? They think I'm dead." Emily looked up and stared at JJ with cold eyes. "You've been lying to me all this time." She stated more than asked.
JJ briefly thought of denying it but knew it would do no good. "Yes," she answered softly.
Emily's eyes widen with the bluntness of that single word. A flash of realization hit her and a wave of betrayal washes over her. JJ watched silently as an array of emotions surged across her face only to be quickly replaced by her mask of indifference. Her eyes darken and became closed off.
"JJ, I think I overdid it earlier," she said suddenly. "I'm tired and I think I am going to lie down for a while."
"Ah…okay," JJ said, thrown off by the abrupt change in conversation. She tried to regain the contact she once had. But Emily had retreated behind her walls and JJ found herself locked out. "I can come back later if you want," she volunteered.
Emily slowly pushed herself out of the chair. JJ instinctively reached out to help her. Anger flared briefly in Emily's eyes and JJ pulled her hands back. Slowly she crossed the few feet to the bed and eased into it. "That's not necessary, JJ. Go home. Have some quality time with Will and Henry. You've spent way too much time here."
"You sure?"
"Positive." Emily laid down with her back to the door and closed her eyes.
"See you tomorrow?" JJ asked. She laid a hand on her Emily's shoulder only to feel her shrink away from it.
"Yeah."
JJ took one last look at her friend before opening the door and exiting.
When Emily heard the click of the door closing, she opened eyes and with tears glistening, she whispered, "Goodbye, JJ."
The next morning JJ arrived as usual and was just walking past the nurse's station when one stepped out to greet her.
"Agent Jareau," the nurse said tentatively.
Warning bells went off in her head. "Is something wrong with Em?" she asked quickly.
The nurse smiled. "Miss Atwater is fine though she seems to be more withdrawn today."
JJ breathed a sigh of relief. "That's my fault," she confessed. "I gave her some bad news yesterday."
The nurse shifted from one foot to the other. "I have a message from Miss Atwater for you."
JJ tensed. "What is it?"
"I hate to say this because I know you are a nice person but Miss Atwater has informed us that she no longer wishes for you to visit her. She has also revoked your Medical Power of Attorney. I'm sorry but I can't allow access to her room."
"I see," JJ stared down the corridor at Emily's door. She knew Em had taken the news hard but not this hard. But then when she thought about it she couldn't blame Emily for reacting this way. It was a lot to swallow in a short time.
She turned her attention back to the nurse. "Did she have anything else to say to me?"
"She did. She asked me to tell you to have a good life."
With that sentence Emily severed her one remaining tie to her old life. She accepted what fate had destined for her. To always be alone.
"Still," Emily protested. "I shouldn't have treated you like that. You were only doing what you thought was best for me."
JJ gave her a rueful smile. "I should have told you sooner. We probably could have worked through it together. You would have still thrown me out but I would have had a chance to worm my way back into your good graces."
Emily chuckled, trying not to jar her ribs. "Probably."
JJ leaned in. "I'll let you in on a little secret. Even though you kicked me out I still came back everyday."
"I didn't know that." Emily said in surprise. "No one told me."
"That's because I asked the staff not to. I just wanted to make sure you were doing all right but I also wanted to give you plenty of space to work through it."
"Thank you, JJ."
"So we're good?" JJ asked, cocking an eyebrow at her friend.
"Yeah. We're good."
JJ held up the book. "Shall we continue?"
"Yes."
"Now where did I leave off?" She started flipping through the pages.
Emily smiled and leaned back against the pillow. "You had just finished chapter seven. Eight is where it starts getting good."
"Right." JJ said and started to read. Emily closed her eyes and was content to listen.
Would you look at that. Two weeks in a row with no cliffhanger but a bit of tension in the middle. I shall be back on schedule so I shall see all of you next Tuesday. Till then.