Dahlings!

Did you guys get an email for this like five times? I'm sorry about that. I kept fucking up the upload and shit wasn't cooperating because technology fucking hates me with a fiery burning passion.

ANYWAY.

Big thank you to the lovelies over at Project Team Beta. They rock my fuckin socks off, as usual!

I own nothing except Technicolor Bella-vision.

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good fortune,

Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,

Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms,

Strong and content I travel the open road.

-Walt Whitman

He looked at me finally, dragging his eyes away from Alice for a second. "My name is Jasper Whitlock. It's a pleasure to meet you."

As it turned out, Jasper had a car. Not one that he drove himself (although he assured us that he did own one, and could drive), but a car to take him wherever he wanted, a Rolls Royce to take him wherever he wanted, with facing back seats and everything. And right now, he wanted to take us home. He helped me haul the fashion pixie's luggage to the car and even laughed at my grumbled threats to "accidentally" burn it, contents and all.

"Now, Lady Bella, would you really burn Miss Alice's clothes?" He smiled mischievously at me, mostly because while Alice loved that he had called her "Miss Alice" since she introduced herself, Lady Bella had different ideas. I wasn't entirely sure why it bothered me so much, but the back of my brain supplied a theory: I wasn't at all used to being reminded continuously that I was female, and I was definitely not used to men thinking that because I was, in fact, female, I should be treated with all respect and courtesy. With Jake I was just "one of the guys" long before we got together. I fit with his pack of friends because they didn't treat me like a girl. I was used to not being seen as delicate and fragile. Breakable, yes, but with as many trips as I'd had to the emergency room, it's hard not acknowledge the breakable part.

The fact that Jasper was treating me like this within five minutes of meeting me was strange; I had been with Jake since I was seventeen, and he had never made me feel so…ladylike. I wanted to be seen as pretty and soft and womanly when Jasper called me Lady Bella. It felt like that's what I should be.

I glanced at Jasper and put on my best southern accent and said, "Mr. Jasper, why would I ever do that?" I pouted prettily and earned a hearty laugh from the man in question. He heaved the last of the suitcases into the trunk before facing me and responding.

"My, my, Lady Bella, you sounded just like my sister then. But to answer your question, I have no fucking clue. Does one tiny woman need so many clothes?" He looked over at the trunk, barely holding all of her luggage. Jasper's and mine were riding inside with us. We both looked at Alice, who was digging through her carry-on for something, then looked at each other and laughed. We were still chuckling quietly when Alice finally made her way over, her missing lipstick in hand. She looked at us slowly, trying to find out just what was so amusing.

"Care to share, guys?" she asked us, causing our laughter to intensify. She looked at Jasper and I knew we were in trouble. In the short time of our acquaintance I had discovered a vital fact: Jasper was incapable of saying no to Alice. The woman didn't even need to pull out the pout, and if she ever did, holy fuck was he screwed. He'd probably attempt to buy the moon or something if she pouted at him. Jasper walked over to Alice, and I saw her breathing pick up. I had never seen two people have such an intense reaction to each other. It was strange to say the least, and a little pang of jealousy flared within me. I squashed it down, telling myself it couldn't be like that for everyone. I was pulled back to reality when Jasper started to speak, and I knew we were in for it.

"Well, Miss Alice, Lady Bella here was uh…rather…unkind toward your luggage," he started. Great, make me the bad guy. Way to go Benedict Arnold. "I just merely questioned her sincerity and she answered in such a way that she sounded just like my sister that I had to laugh." He looked down slightly, and I knew he wouldn't keep his comment about her clothes to himself. Whatever - it was his funeral. "I might have also then asked if a…petite woman such as yourself needed that many clothes." We both looked at Alice, waiting for a reaction.

3, 2, 1…

Alice's eyes had lost their light and her jaw had tightened. Her hands curled into fists at her sides, and she did her rhythmic breathing again.

"Jasper," she said through clenched teeth, "I will tell you this once, and only once, so you had better remember. A woman can never have too many clothes. Capeche?" I couldn't help but think what an excellent mob boss Alice would have made. "Don Alice." It had a nice ring to it. Jasper, meanwhile, was trying to get out of trouble without accidentally digging this hole any deeper.

"Now, I didn't mean it like that. It was a…bonding moment for me and Lady Bella. We were just joking around, darlin', don't be mad." Fuck me, that accent of his was like get out of jail free card. I knew he'd won the moment he said "darlin'" in that drawl of his. Alice softened instantly and just giggled. Giggled.

"Oh, well, if it was just a joke…" she trailed off as she linked her arm with Jasper's. They walked towards me and he gestured for Alice to precede him into the car. As Jasper waited, I gave him a worshipful bow.

"Teach me of your ways, O great Jasper, so that I too may escape the wrath of the Mighty Alice!" I cried in my best supplicant voice. He stood up a bit straighter and looked at me like I was six. He placed one hand on my head and one over his heart while saying, "Fear not, humble Bella, for it is a skill that can be learned in time. You are young, Grasshopper. And remember," he suddenly switched to an excellent sensei voice, "Wax on, wax off." And with that he followed Alice into the car.

The drive to the apartment was on its way to being uneventful and mainly consisted of me pretending to throw up when Jasper and Alice got too lovey dovey for my poor innocent sensibilities. They would just laugh and stop, for a little while. I ignored them and let them have their moments. That is, until I remembered my jewelry. I grabbed my backpack and started to dig around. This awoke the lovebirds in the corner and they watched in curiosity as I rooted around in my bag.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Alice questioned. I felt my hand touch what I was looking for, pulled it out with a rather loud "gotcha!" and put it on my lap. It was just a little red bag with a floral pattern on it, with a simple metal zipper, but over the years it had held anything and everything.

I looked at Alice and said, "Well Alice, I'm getting out my jewelry bag." I knew as I said it that Jasper was about experience the full Alice-squeal for himself. Right on cue she squeaked and clapped her hands, all while jumping over to sit next to me. I saw Jasper rub his temples and knew that he would think twice about blaming me in the future. Mission accomplished. I started to pick through the bag and saw Alice's look of confusion. She picked up the longest of the steel bars and looked at it before she looked at me.

"Bella? What kind of jewelry is this?" Instead of answering, I plucked the bar from her fingers, picked up two little red balls and threaded it through the upper part of my left ear and then straight across. I twisted the balls into place and turned back to Alice, a look of mild revulsion mixed with curiosity on her face. I grabbed the six plain studs next, two small two medium and two large, and put one of each in both earlobes. I looked back at Alice to see her holding the two little blue hoops, clearly trying to figure out where they went. I took them from her and she watched in confusion as I placed them next to each other on the left side of my lower lip. Next I grabbed the little black bar with the ball on top and lifted my shirt slightly, enough so I could put the bar through my bellybutton. I cleaned up the other bits of steel and put them back, all the while aware of the silence radiating loudly from the girl next to me. I finally looked at her and smiled.

"So, Alice," I said, "still want to be my friend?"

It was Jasper who responded first, oddly enough. He put his hand on Alice's shoulder and said simply, "That's quite the collection you've got there, fair Bella. How many do you have exactly?" I did a mental count just to make sure of the number before answering.

"Well Mr. Jasper, I have twelve piercings in all. And four tattoos." I looked at Alice, who seemed to be over the revulsion she had suffered earlier, and saw that she was studying me curiously. I wasn't sure what was promoting the scrutiny at first, but then I realized what she was doing, and what she was going to ask. I sighed, and prepared to let my new friends know all sorts of things about me.

"Bella," she said slowly, "I only saw you put in ten. Where are the other two?" She looked over me slowly, obviously trying to figure out where the other two went. She was a smart cookie, and I knew she'd get there eventually. I heard a choked breath from Jasper and knew that he had figured it out. Alice looked at him, but he just held up his hands, silently saying he wasn't going to tell her. She went back to studying me and after a few moments I saw understanding dawn in her eyes. She looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Bella Swan, do you have your nipples pierced?"

"Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!" I cried, surprising the hell out of Alice with my lack of embarrassment. I used to get embarrassed about everything, but I had gotten over that when I started college. Turns out no one gives a fuck how weird you are; they're all just as weird. I pulled the Ziploc bag with little black circles with the bars through them out of my pocket and waved it in front of her. She flinched, and then giggled. "See, I was being courteous and not flashing Mr. Hotness over there," I gestured to Jasper, who was trying to control his laughter at being called Mr. Hotness, "because I'm sure that would have resulted in you ripping the steel out of my body one bit at a time. I was hoping no one would ask how many I had, because I hate lying and knew I would have to answer." I gave Jasper the "it's entirely your fault" look. He just smiled back unashamedly, tipping his hat in a "you're welcome" gesture. I gave him the finger, which only caused him to laugh harder.

Alice looked at me like I was a new toy, but one that she didn't have the instructions to. I wasn't entirely sure I liked that look. She pursed her lips slightly, concentration written in the little wrinkles in her forehead. Finally she looked me in the eyes, her focus drifting to the viperbite in my lip for a second before returning to my eyes and speaking. "Bella," she started, "I have a question for you." She looked at me for permission and I gave it with a wave of my hand. "Have you ever done any modeling?" The look of triumph on her face because I was currently speechless wasn't something I wanted to have there ever again. It was entirely too evil dictator for my liking. I saw gears turning in her head and I wished they would stop because I knew that wherever those thoughts were going was a bad place for me to be.

"Now, Alice," I began, "what makes you think I ever modeled? I look nothing like a model even without the piercings. I have five different colors in my hair for Christ's sake!" Her eyes lit up at this, and I wondered why my inability to leave my hair color alone was exciting for her.

"Really?" she asked. "Where?" I pulled the elastic band out of my hair and let it fall out of the messy bun I had thrown it into this morning, exposing the red, purple, orange, black and pink streaks that ran through my hair. They were harder to see when my hair was all up, and Jake had hated them, so I wore my hair up a lot. I loved them, and would change things up by having more of one color than the others, or doing more than one, or different shades of one, but I had never died all my hair at once. It stayed the regular boring brown, but was made more appealing by my love of modification. She leaned in, inspecting my hair like she was looking for buried treasure or something. She put different streaks next to each other, piled it all on top of my head, and moved things around until finally, she spoke. "Those," she said, "are even better than the piercings." I was terrified.

"Alice," I said slowly, keeping my breathing even, "why are they better? What are they better for?" I looked at her, pleading with my eyes to break her torturous silence and explain my fate. She just smiled that villainous smile of hers and kept playing with my hair. "Alice," I begged, "what's up? Tell me, please, I'm going insane." And then she broke her silence.

"You have given me inspiration," she said whilst inspecting my industrial. "I have been trying to come up with a new line of clothes and have been blocked for months. You, with your piercings and crazy hair and tattoos - and I will need to see those tattoos at some point - have suddenly become my muse. And I want you to be the face of the line," she said in a tone that brooked no argument. I just stared at her, my jaw hanging wide open. I vaguely realized that Jasper was in the corner laughing his little southern ass off, but most of my attention was still on Alice and her proclamation. Modeling? Seriously? I mean, I guess I was kind of pretty if I tried for it, but I had too much metal and ink in me to ever be traditionally pretty, and I had long ago accepted the fact that I would never be beautiful.

"Bella, come back. Bella." I heard Alice calling me and met her eyes. She was smiling kindly at me, seeming to realize that she had just rocked my world. I looked down at the seat, staring at the stitching in the leather and trying to gather my thoughts. She was seriously saying that I was her fashion muse; me, who wore t-shirts, tank tops and jeans every single day. I was the most fashion-wary person on the planet. But then, a line from the only poem I remember from AP English junior year popped into my head: "Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms, Strong and content I travel the open road." With that simple line, all of my goals for this year came flooding back. I wouldn't be the wallflower who didn't go anywhere, who was always studying, who held back because she wanted the approval of certain people. I would be strong and determined and I would try all sorts of new things, damnit. I wasn't going to let timid little Isabella come out and ruin this. I would be Bella, and I would be awesome.

I jerked my head up, surprising Alice with the severity of my movement. She saw the determination in my eyes, I'm sure, but I wanted to say it out loud anyway.

"Alright, Alice. You've got yourself a model."

We finally reached the building our apartment was in, and I was starting to think that Alice's description of it being "badass" might be way more accurate than I thought. This place was in a much better neighborhood than my old one, and the building was fucking massive. I looked up, and up, and up and saw the gloomy London skies staring back at me. It looked a lot like home. Jasper got out of the car and stared at the building in disbelief while Alice directed the doorman in divesting the Rolls of its baggage, or more accurately, her baggage. Jasper still hadn't said anything, so I poked him in the arm.

"Hey, J, what's up?" I asked. I couldn't have told you why I'd used a nickname so quickly, but it probably had something to do with the fact that he, like Alice, felt like someone I had known my whole life - kind of like family. He looked at me like he'd not only seen a ghost, but it had been the ghost of his dead dog or something so he looked freaked as shit but excited at the same time. He looked back at the building briefly before answering.

"Well, fair Bella, I am just a bit dumbfounded to find out that you're taking up residence in my building." Wait, hold the fucking phone, did he say his building? Alice was gonna shit bricks when she heard this. I turned to see if she had noticed, but she was still giving the poor doorman a heart attack with her incessant directions on how not to royally fuck up her luggage. Man, she sure was bossy for such a small thing. I looked back at Jasper to see that excitement was definitely winning out over scared. He looked like he'd won the lottery or something, the giant grin again plastered to his face.

"For serious, you live here? What a small world." I smiled at him, happy to have another friend in my life. Then I realized something. "Wait, J, how did you not know we were coming here?" I couldn't understand how the man could be so oblivious as to not know where his own car was going.

"Well, see Alice had given Henry, my driver, the address before I got in so I never heard where we were going and the ride over was…distracting, to say the least." He winked at me then, alluding to the whole piercing/modeling thing, and the fact that Alice had been in the car, which meant he noticed nothing else. How had he gotten so wrapped up in her so quickly? I had never in my life seen something that I would actually qualify as "love at first sight" until this afternoon in the airport. Alice and Jasper were just…right. That jealousy flared up again, and I quickly stamped it out. I would not be jealous of my friends, not for whatever it was they had. I told myself again that it didn't work like that for everyone, but it seemed less reassuring this time. I mentally shook off the funk I had been going towards just as Alice finished harassing our poor doorman. I reminded myself to give him a huge tip later.

"So…um, thank you for the ride, Jasper." She looked at the ground, clearly not ready to say goodbye. Little did she know…

"Well, Miss Alice, I have some interesting news for you. Hopefully it will be good news as well," he said, looking at his shoes just like Alice. She looked up, hope written all over her face, her eyes shining with it. Jasper took a deep breath and looked up, meeting her eyes. And he didn't say anything. Alice didn't say anything. I looked back and forth between them for a few seconds before coming to the conclusion that if I didn't break up the love fest we'd be standing on the sidewalk all day. I cleared my throat, making both of them jump a little.

"What Jasper was trying to say…," I said before he jumped in.

"…Is that this uh, also happens to be my building." He peeked at Alice through his lashes, and I had to concentrate on not laughing because it was so terribly cute. I looked at Alice and though she was just going to spontaneously combust from sheer excitement. She was quivering slightly, like a violin string that had be strung much too tight. She did her little clapping thing, which seemed to be the indicator of her excitement level. It only came out when she was really happy. I saw her start to move towards Jasper, but then stop herself, clearly unsure as to what the physical limitations of their strange relationship were.

Finally she said, "Oh, Jasper that's awesome!" and she lost the battle not to touch him. She covered the distance in a few graceful leaps and threw her arms around his neck.

At first Jasper seemed shocked but he recovered quickly and wrapped his arms around her waist. I turned back to the street to give them a few moments privacy because seriously, even their hug was mushy gushy. And that's when I saw him.

Walking out of a building across the street was the most beautiful man on the face of the earth. He was even taller than Jasper, and had a shock of wild bronze – like, truly bronze - hair framing the most perfect face God had ever created. He was all clean, hard lines and perfect proportions with a knife-blade nose, strong check bones and the most chiseled jaw ever to grace a man's face. The only soft thing about him was his mouth. It was the perfect shape, the perfect color, just everything about it was perfect.

I wanted to run across the street, throw him against the wall and have my way with him from now until forever. The energy that suddenly coursed through my veins felt like I had chain-smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. I was getting lightheaded because I had forgotten to breathe. I sucked in a huge breath, and watched him until he got into the waiting car. I just stood on the sidewalk staring into space, imagining all the things I would have liked to do with that man.

The Nine Inch Nails song "Closer" seemed to have been put on repeat in my head, the reds and oranges that accompanied it combining to match the color of his hair, and all I could hear was the chorus - I wanna fuck you like an animal. Oh yeah, that would do just fine.

I was drizzling chocolate syrup down his chest, zigzagging it back and forth to give myself more to lick off later. I continued down his stomach, dripping chocolate down the little rivulet between his abs, watching it run towards his-

"Bella!" I was brought out of my fantasy by Alice's voice. I turned to look at her, noticing not only was she watching me like I had gone crazy (which I might have), but she was also clutching Jasper's hand tightly, and the man was still grinning like an idiot. She smiled broadly at me. "Are you ready to see your new home?"

So. Jaw Man.

Yummy.

So this week:

REC: Clipped Wings and Inked Armor by hunterhunting. Seriously, if you haven't read this you are missing out! My favorite ever!

And now, a note to the lurkers.

Dearest, Darling Lurkers of my heart,

I know it's scary, the thought of leaving a review, but it's not nearly as frightening as you think! I too was once a member of your ranks, reading and leaving. But I have stepped into the light, my friends, and it is wonderful.

I encourage you to review! Don't feel pressured though. Seriously, I'm not into that forced shit.

Love,

Parrannnah