Dahlings!
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Enough of me and my ramblings.
I own nothing except Bella's taste in smokes.
Where'd the days go when all we did was play
And the stress that we were under wasn't stress at all
Just a run and a jump into a harmless fall.
-Paolo Nutini
She smiled broadly at me, "Are you ready to see your new home?"
The ride up the elevator was blissfully uneventful, and when Jasper got off on the third floor, he promised to stop by later with food and some other people he wanted us to meet. Alice just nodded and smiled, and I stood in the corner fantasizing about Jaw Man, for lack of a better thing to call him. I hadn't heard him speak, I hadn't even seen him smile, but I couldn't keep my thoughts away from that brief glimpse of perfection.
When we arrived on our floor, which happened to be the 14th floor, Alice got out and started walking briskly (the doorman was bringing her luggage up, otherwise we wouldn't have been moving at all) down the hall. I followed suit, noticing that there were only four doors in the hallway. I had been too distracted earlier to notice it when Jasper left, but that seemed strange to me. I mean, it was a huge building so there clearly should have been more apartments, right? It seemed logical. That is, until I saw our apartment. I heard a cry from Alice as she located our door, right at the end of the hall. As she turned the key and pushed open our front door, all rational though went out the window. The flat I walked into was huge. It took up a fourth of the floor for God's sake. I looked around, shell shocked into silence before I noticed the windows. The whole back wall of our living room was floor to ceiling windows, and we had the most amazing view of the city. I could see St. Paul's Cathedral, mostly, and I could sort of make out the older part of the city across the river. I turned to see Alice, just as transfixed as I was. However, there was something that needed to be done.
I slowly strolled around our massive living room and into a huge kitchen. That was good, because I liked to cook and didn't want to be ordering takeout constantly. Off the kitchen was the hall and I saw five doors along it. The first proved to be a bathroom, although it was probably bigger than my room back in Forks, and it was most definitely bigger than any dorm room I'd ever been in. It was all black marble with a HUGE bathtub, like huge as in more of a straight jacuzzi than a jacuzzi tub. It had a long counter with one sink and a mirror that ran the length of the counter. I closed the door, and continued to the next one, wondering what was in store now that I had seen what they considered a bathroom. The next door was a bedroom with white walls and wood floor. It looked just like my room back home, and that was reason enough to move on. The third door proved to be the hall closet and therefore not what I wanted. The fourth door, however, was exactly what I was searching for.
I had reached the second bedroom. It was…enormous. Gigantic. Humongous. It had pale green walls and dark brown wood floors. It was on an outside wall and had floor to ceiling windows just like the living room. But the best part by far was the bookshelves. The wall farthest from the widows was floor to ceiling bookshelves. I noticed two doors on another wall and decided to explore some more. The first one was to a huge walk-in closet, and the second led to an en-suite bathroom, all white marble and gold accents. The tub here was even bigger than the one in the hall bathroom and the shower, oh my God, the fucking shower. The shower was amazing. It had one of those rain showerheads that's just the fucking coolest thing on the planet, and it had to be the size of the bathroom we had back in Forks. I got closer, so as to inspect it better, and I noticed another control on the wall. It was digital, with two sets of arrow buttons, one labeled "Heat" and the other "Steam." Being the curious person that I was, I pushed the 'up' button on 'Steam', and I instantly heard a whooshing/hissing noise. I watched in wonder as the shower turned into a fucking sauna. Yeah, a sauna. As I got over just how awesome a sauna shower was, I noticed the bench. This bench ran three walls of the shower, with the fourth open for the door. My brain instantly put Jaw Man in there doing very, very dirty things to me before I shut it down. There was no point in fantasizing about him, even though I bet those lips could do wicked things to my lady business, because I would most likely never see him again. Oh, and Jake, of course.
Fuck, man. That's so messed up, remembering him as an afterthought. You're a horrible person.
"Fuck off," I muttered to myself, giving my inner voice a swift kick in the ass. What killed me was that it was right, as per usual. I had been fantasizing about another man, and the fact that my deterrent from doing so again was because I would never see said man again and not because I was loyal to my boyfriend was just plain fucked.
In all honesty, the fantasy bit shouldn't have even happened, but let's face it - I had been in a steady relationship for the last four years, where going without for even a week was unheard of, and I was looking at six months of voluntary celibacy. I had friends who only had sex once every two weeks. I think the one time Jake and I decided to see how long we could go without we lasted four days. I had started drifting into memories of the afternoon we had finally cracked, when Jake morphed into Jaw Man. Why did he keep fucking with my train of thought?! Fucking shit, this was going to be a long six months.
I dragged myself out of the bathroom, intending to give it to Alice. She was obviously going to be jumping Jasper's bones as soon as she could without being qualified as a skank, so why shouldn't she have the fuckawesome sex shower? I had just opened the door to go find her when I ran into her as I walked out of the room. I grabbed her arms in an attempt to foil the klutzy gene, but, alas, the fucker won out. We went tumbling to the floor, landing in a twisted heap in the middle of the hall. I attempted to untangle myself, and to apologize for knocking her down.
"Alice, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" I cried, wondering how my shoelaces had gotten caught on Alice's hands. "See, the thing is, I'm not actually fucking capable of standing upright for more than five fucking seconds before the universe decides that it's been long enough and knocks me over again. Shit!" Just as I had successfully gotten untangled and stood up, I tripped. On nothing. "See?" I said, gesturing at myself to prove my point. I looked at Alice with the intent of apologizing again when I saw her turning purple.
"Alice?" I questioned, and she burst out laughing. Ah, that explains the purple. She laughed enthusiastically, clutching her sides and wiping tears from her eyes. The more she laughed, the more I wanted to laugh and before I knew it we were both rolling on the floor laughing our asses off. I wasn't even sure why it was so funny, but laughing felt good, especially after the thoughts I'd had in the bathroom while looking at the super sex shower and thinking about-
"No!" I sat up suddenly, trying to turn off my incredibly over-active imagination, which had just supplied me with the most glorious image of Jaw Man pinning me to the wall of the shower, hooking one of my legs over his hip before he--I shook my head, rolling to my feet and walking down the hall to the kitchen. I strode to the sink, meaning to get a glass of water before I remembered we had no dishes. I stood there for a few seconds, staring dumbly at the cabinet like it would manifest a glass as long as I kept looking, when I heard a small sound behind me. I turned and saw Alice standing by the breakfast bar, watching me watch the cupboard.
"Bella?" she asked, walking over to stand next to me. "Are you okay? You ran off all of a sudden." She looked concerned but not in that oh-my-God-my-new-roommate-is-crazy way, which was good. I sighed and tried to answer her question.
"Yes. I'm fine." I paused, thinking. "Ok, maybe not fine per se, but I'm alright." She just looked at me, waiting for me to make up my mind. Yeah, you and me both. Finally, I sighed. I needed to explain this to someone because I didn't understand it, and maybe they would. And it was Alice and she felt like, well like family.
"Oh, Alice," I said as I put my face in my hands. I felt her rubbing circles on my back and realized I was crying again. Why the fuck do I keep doing that on accident? I looked at her, and everything started tumbling out.
"Ok, so you know I have a boyfriend, right?" She nodded, signaling me to continue. "Well, I've known Jake my whole life. His dad and my dad are best friends and have been since I can remember. When we were little, we were inseparable. I was at his house, he was at mine, we were running around in the woods, you know just being kids. Well, when I started school the year before him, I went to Forks Elementary. The next year, Jake went to the Elementary school on the Quileute Reservation where he lives, and we drifted apart. We saw each other on holidays and in the summer, but it just wasn't the same, you know? We were growing up, and growing apart."
Alice murmured sympathetically, but I couldn't understand what she said. I was lost in the memories now, reliving my past with the 20/20 vision that is hindsight. I saw the little things I had missed that meant more than I thought, I saw the things that were big at the time but seemed diminished so many years down the line. I took a breath and continued with my story.
"We reconnected when my best friend Angela moved away. I met her the first day of kindergarten and we had been best friends ever since. I was thirteen, and I needed a friend. I've never been the type of person that has countless friends. I had a few close friends, and that has always been better than having fifty friends you kind of know. Well, we went down to the Res one day so my dad Charlie and Jake's dad Billy could go fishing. I spent the whole day learning how to hold a flashlight correctly while Jake worked on his car. Yes, he was twelve, but he didn't have a lot of money so he figured he'd better start as soon as possible." I smiled, remembering gangly Jake and his eagerness to be my friend.
"Jake and I talked about everything. It was like no time had passed since we were little. Everything was just right." I chuckled, remembering the time Jake had tried to teach me to fix a car and I had ended up in the emergency room with a broken arm because I tripped over a wrench I had just dropped. Jake had been so mad at me because I had dropped his brand new tool until he realized I was hurt, and then he called Charlie and went with me to the hospital. He was so worried about me in the garage after that he would only ever let me hold a flashlight from then on. I sighed and got back to my story.
"The summer I turned 14, I met the "Wolf Pack," as they liked to call themselves. The boys thought they were so clever, coming up with a name for their little group. It was Jake, his two best friends Embry and Quil, Paul, who ended up dating Jake's older sister Rachel, Jared, and Sam. They did everything together. I kind of became an honorary member that summer because I managed to scare the shit out of Paul. Now, Paul has always had a short fuse, but this was the summer he was trying to get Rachel to go out with him. She wouldn't have any of it. I was teasing him, telling him that he should just give up because she was so out of his league, and we were all laughing and joking and generally being stupid teenagers, but Paul snapped. He went ballistic, and went running after me, chasing me down First Beach until I reached the cliffs. I started to climb, checking over my shoulder to see if Paul had caught up with me. Everyone asked me after if I was scared, but I never thought he would actually hurt me. He just needed to expend some energy, and I happened to give him an excuse.
"Well, I finally reached the top and was stuck. I could hear him coming up the cliff face, and I was looking around, trying to find somewhere to hide, when I remembered that the boys used this outcropping for cliff diving. I had always wanted to go, but had never been allowed because I was deemed way too damn breakable. This was my opportunity, and I took it. I ran towards the edge of the cliff and I jumped." I grinned, remembering the feeling of weightlessness, the absolute freedom I had felt as I jumped.
"Jake told me later that that was the day he realized he didn't just want to be my friend anymore. He said that when he saw me jump, it nearly killed him. Paul jumped right after me, and when my unfailing ability to get into dangerous situations got me pulled into a rip current, Paul pulled me out. Jake silently gave his blessing for Paul to date Rachel then, and he spent the next three years trying to get me to go out with him. As you can see, I said yes." I smiled at Alice, who was watching me with worried eyes.
"But, Bella, what does that have to do with you running away like that?" She looked at me curiously, clearly wondering if this story had a point or if I was just really crazy.
"Ok, here's where it ties in," I said. "When Jake and I got together, our dads were thrilled, to say the least. They kept talking about how we would really be family now, eventually. It was always kind of a given that this was it for us. I never felt better than I did with Jake, and we just fit together. I always thought I would marry Jake, but about a year ago I started to question my decisions. I'm so young, I thought. How can I know that this is the one and only person for me? How do I know? I didn't. Little things started to annoy me for no reason. He always treats me like one of the guys unless we're off alone together. I never feel like a girl with Jake. He never wants to go out, and I do. He likes completely different types of music. The thing that drives me crazy the most? He is the King of guilt trips. Any time he wants something and I say no, he pouts or makes me feel guilty. I feel like strangling him sometimes!
"I thought it was a phase. You know, just something that was a result of being together for so long, but the more I think about it, the more I'm not sure. But part of me is so scared of leaving because he's all I've ever known, you know? And what if this is it for me? What if Jake's the one and I'm just being dumb? What if I screw everything up because I was bored? I'm killing myself with the what-if's, Alice. And my best friend is the one person I can't talk to about this."
I slumped over onto Alice's shoulder, silent tears streaming down my face. I had finally said it out loud. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with Jake the same way he wanted to be with me. I was so confused I didn't know what to do with myself. Then I remembered the story wasn't quite finished.
"And then, while you and Jasper were attached to each other when we first got here, I saw the most beautiful man in the world, and I wanted him to do very bad things to me. I was looking at the shower in the bedroom I was in and I started imagining Jaw Man doing terrible things with his beautiful mouth, and then it happened again when we fell over in the hall, and that's why I bolted. I didn't mean to worry you Alice." I patted her arm while she continued to rub circles on my back. Then she stopped.
"Wait, Bella," she straightened me up so she could see me better, "did you call him Jaw Man?" I felt the heat flood my cheeks and knew I looked like a tomato. Stupid blush, always giving me away.
"Um, maybe? His jaw was just so delectable, Alice. Actually, what I saw of him was damn near perfect. In layman's terms, I'd like to fuck him into oblivion, and then do it again. Mmmmmmm…" I trailed off, staring over Alice's shoulder as I replayed my brief glimpse of Jaw Man, and wondering why I couldn't get him out of my head. It wasn't like I hadn't seen attractive men before, but Jesus God that man was perfection itself. Alice's fingers snapped in front of my face, bringing me back to reality.
"Ok, Bella, here's what we're going to do. We are going to pick rooms, unpack, and then have dinner with Jasper and his friends ok? Tomorrow we will address the Jake issue, but tonight we are going to have fun our first night in London. One step at a time." She stood up, holding out a hand to help me. I looked at it, wondering if I would pull her down again if I used it. I grabbed it anyway and was surprised again by how much stronger Alice was than she looked. We walked down the hall and opened the door to the room I had been in before. Alice looked around and then walked out, opening the next door. I followed slowly until I heard a squeal, prompting me to see what had made Alice make such a noise. I walked into Wonderland.
The room was a pale blue, but without being powder blue or baby blue, and had light wood floors. It had the same floor to ceiling windows as the other bedroom, but instead of bookshelves it had a giant corkboard on one wall. I found Alice standing in front of it, staring at it in adoration, visions of fashion and designs dancing in her head. She sighed as I came to stand next to her and said quietly, "Dibs." I looked at her, looked at the room and decided that I should tell her about the hot as fuck shower in the other room, just in case.
"Are you sure?" I inquired. "The other one has this cool as shit shower that would be great for um, well for when you and Jasper start fucking like bunnies, honestly." She smiled at that thought, but waved away my concerns.
"If you mean the sauna shower with the bench, this has the same thing. Both of these rooms have en-suites. So again I say dibs." She smiled and looked around, stilling suddenly. He mouth dropped open into a little 'o' and she turned to face me, horror dawning across her face. Ah, she had figured it out.
"Bella. How are we supposed to unpack when we have no furniture?"
We eventually decided on just throwing our luggage into our rooms for the time being (Alice needed help again) and then settled in to calling our families. For Alice, this also meant arranging for some beds or mattresses or something to be delivered as soon as possible so we weren't sleeping on wood floors tonight, but for me it meant calling my parents and then calling Jake. I grabbed my phone and walked onto our awesome balcony that I had failed to notice earlier. Alice wanted to get a hot tub to go out here, and I said that was fine, as long as we also got a barbeque. I can't cook steaks without a barbeque. I took a few pictures of the view and sent them to Jake before calling my parents. The phone kept ringing and ringing, and I thought they weren't home, when someone finally picked up.
"Hello?" Renee said.
"Hi Mamma!" I said into the phone, more enthusiastically than I meant to because, let's face it, I missed my Mommy.
"Bella! Charlie, it's Bella! Here, baby, let me put you on speaker phone real quick." And then she hung up on me. I sighed; she still didn't realize that you hit speaker and then hung up the phone. I called her again, and this time Charlie picked up.
"Bells?" he asked, a smile in his voice.
"Hey Daddy," I said, trying not to sniff too loudly because the stupid tears were back. I hadn't realized how much I was going to miss my parents.
"Hey honey!" my mom called from the background.
"Hi Mom!" I said back
"How was your flight? Are you settled in ok? How's the apartment?" Renee shot questions at me before I even heard the first one. I heard Charlie chuckle and say, 'Settle down, Renee, we have free long distance,' before he spoke again.
"So, Bells, how was the flight? Airplane food alright?" I smiled at my dad's ability to make even the biggest deals seem like he asking about the weather.
"Airplane food is airplane food, Dad. It all sucks. My flight was excellent, however. I made a new friend!" I smiled broadly when I head Renee say 'thank God' in the background. Renee had been the social butterfly in high school and despaired over the fact that socially, I was more like Charlie. We didn't need to say a lot, and we didn't need a lot of acquaintances.
"Good for you Bells," said Charlie.
"What's she like? Is she nice? What's her name?" said Renee. I chuckled as I heard Charlie tell her again to calm down. My mom wasn't nosey; she just liked to be informed.
"Her name is Alice," I started, "and she's very nice. She's a fashion student at Kingston, too, and has excellent taste in music. She sat next to me on the plane, and we did an awesome air band rendition of Hot for Teacher, if I do say so myself." Renee gasped in horror at the thought that I had let my tendencies to dance to whatever, whenever, and wherever slip in front of the people on the plane. She had tried to teach me how to be a proper young lady, but I had spent too much time with the boys for all of it to stick.
"I should hope so," Charlie said, "you played it enough." Charlie hadn't always been a fan of my music, especially when I went through my hair metal and death metal phases.
"Well," he said, "how's the apartment?" I sighed, glad there were five thousand miles separating my parents and I because no matter how glad they were that I had made a friend, moving in with her right away was sure to freak them out. Hell, it should have freaked me out, but they didn't know Alice.
I took a deep breath and prepared to explain. "Well, that's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. You see, Alice mentioned that she had this great place and that it was empty and paid for, and then she may have offered to let me move in, so I don't know how the other place is. This place, however, is killer. It has the best view and--" Renee finally jumped in, cutting me off.
"Isabella Marie Swan! Are you telling me that you're living with a strange girl you just met?" I could hear the disbelief in her voice, surprised that responsible me would do such a thing. I sighed, trying to think of the best way to explain that Alice was special. Mostly I just whined.
"But Mom," I said, "Alice is different! It feels like we've known each other our whole lives! She feels like family." She is family, I added silently to myself.
"Besides, I'm twenty-one and in another country. I'm old enough to make decisions like these, Mamma. You taught me well, so don't worry, okay?" I hoped she would listen because I didn't want her haranguing me every time I called. I really wanted to just introduce her to Alice because I'm sure she would have assuaged all my mother's fears in a single sentence. I heard my dad say, 'She's right, Renee. She's grown now,' and felt the tears well up again. Fucking tears! Go away! I'm tired of crying. I was touched that my dad thought I was ready for the big bad world because I loved my dad and had always trusted his judgment.
"Well," Renee started, "you're right, honey. You're a grown woman now, and I have to let you make your own decisions. I just want what's best for you, that's all." I heard a sniff, and was glad I wasn't the only one crying. I started to speak but was interrupted by a huge, audible yawn.
Charlie laughed and said "Well, Bells, we'll let you go. I'm sure you're tired, and you should sleep."
I heard Renee sniff again before saying, "Bye baby. Call us again tomorrow, alright? I love you." I felt a huge surge of love for my parents because, in the end, they only wanted what was best for me.
"Bye Mom, bye Dad. I love you both!" I said, and was about to hang up, when I heard Charlie speak again.
"You've done well, baby girl. I'm real proud of you. I love you," he said, and I thought I heard a sniff.
"I love you too, Daddy. Always and always." I choked into the phone, trying to keep the homesickness in check. I heard the click on his end and set my phone down. I needed to get a hold of myself before I called Jake. I took deep breaths and concentrated on peaceful things like dolphins and bunny rabbits and sunny skies and my fingers wrapped in bronze hair and—I sat up, trying to eliminate the mental image I'd just had. This is bullshit, man. He's invading my happy place now? No. Fuck that. I mentally shook myself, trying to get the part of my brain that was always in the gutter to stop telling me that he's invading my happy place is what she said.
I got up and started to pace back and forth, focusing solely on the rhythm of my steps and matching my breathing to the beat. When I finally felt calm enough, I picked up my phone and called Jake. He answered on the first ring.
"Bella?" he asked.
"Hey, Jakers." I whispered into the phone. Hearing his voice was making me feel so guilty. How could I doubt this when I missed him so much? I swallowed, trying to fight the tightness in my chest.
"What took you so long?" he said. "You said you'd call when you landed and that was three hours ago." Ah, yes. Reason number one for my doubts: cave mannish tendencies that weren't protective, just slightly possessive and controlling. Always wanted to know where I was, who I was with, and he never asked it in a way that made it sound like he was just curious.
"Well, shit came up, alright? I had to get my luggage, and then I had to get Alice's luggage and Jasper and the apartment and--" I was cut off suddenly by a loud huff on the other end of the phone.
"Bella, you don't have to get mad. I just was worried about you." Ah, reason number two: guilt. Notice that most people wouldn't have freaked because they understand that maybe landing in another country you're going to be living in for the next year is a good reason to not remember to call someone the second you land. Jake, however, made me feel like I had done something wrong. Fuck, I hated this. I would feel like everything was perfect, and then I would remember what wasn't. The more I thought about it, the more these six months apart seemed like a good idea.
"I'm not mad, Jake; I was just trying to explain it to you," I sighed, knowing exactly where this was headed and feeling powerless to stop it. I was going to feel like I had to justify my every move, he was going to get mad, I was going to get frustrated and then feel bad when he pouted and was sad. Fuck this shit.
"Well, you said you would call me, and you didn't. Is this how it's going to be now?" I could hear his voice tightening with pent up anger, but he had never ever gotten so mad he was actually yelling at me. He was afraid of his temper and kept a close watch on it.
"No baby, it's not. I will call you. I just got busy is all. I made a new friend!" I said, trying to acknowledge his fears and move on. Jake was terrified I would find someone else while I was here.
"Oh yeah?" he didn't sound particularly excited for me, but that wasn't unusual. Jake wasn't a big fan of the people I liked. He thought they were strange, and he didn't get the humor we shared. I liked folk who are very much their own people, you know? I know who I am mostly and I get along with people who have a strong personal identity. Jake should have had the best and strongest personal identity of anyone because he has a whole tribe to teach him where he came from, but Jake didn't see the past the same way I did. He thought the past was something you're aware of, but didn't need to look at too closely because it was in the past. I was of the belief that if you wake up someday and wonder who the fuck you are, look at your past. If you forget your roots and where you came from, you won't know yourself in twenty years. Your past is a map to your future, and he was driving blind.
Jake was a strong, self-assured man, but he didn't know himself. How can you be in a relationship, a situation where you know the other person as well as you know yourself, when you don't even know who you are?
"Yes! Her name is Alice and she's the shit. We spent the whole flight just talking and dancing around to all sorts of music! She makes an excellent David Lee Roth," I smiled, remembering my flight with Alice. I was so glad to have a made a friend like her and was looking forward to what the semester would bring.
"That's so great, Bells! I'm happy for you." Fuck, nice Jake was back. God, why couldn't the man just be an ass or be a sweetheart. Just make up your mind, please, so I could do the same. The conversation continued to be pleasant, which was only accomplished by me maybe possibly forgetting to tell him that I had moved in with Alice. I just told him my apartment was awesome, and he wanted to talk more about what had been happening to him, so he didn't really push too hard. We said goodbye and hung up, leaving the conversation at an awkward end. I sighed and walked back into the apartment.
Alice was still on her phone as I walked past the kitchen, waving when she looked my way. She smiled at me before yawning dramatically, signifying that her conversation was less that titillating. I went down the hall and walked into my room, looking for my backpack and finding it in the corner where I had thrown it earlier. I picked it up, searching through the front pocket for my smokes. I grabbed the black box and walked back to the patio, putting the box on the counter that ran the length of one of the walls, before putting a cigarette to my lips and lighting it. I leaned against the railing, relaxing as much as possible without chairs. I took a drag and held it for a moment before exhaling.
I should be excited, not bummed. I was in my dream city, in a great apartment with two new friends and the promise of more. I should have been jumping for joy, but instead I was standing sullenly on my balcony. I looked out over the city, thinking of all the reasons I wanted to come here in the first place. I wanted the experience of being in another country. I wanted to be on my own, away from my support, because I needed to see if I could do it.
The biggest reason was because I wanted to find myself, like truly find myself. I knew generally who I was, but my identity was greatly related to the identity I had as part of a couple. I had been with Jake so long that we were part of the same entity to a lot of people we met. I was tired of being "Jake's girlfriend" or "Bella, she's with Jake." I wanted to be known for who I was, not who I was with. I looked over my shoulder as the sliding door opened, revealing Alice standing in the doorway.
"Hey," she ventured. "I wasn't sure if you were alright. You looked pretty shaken up when you came inside a minute ago." She walked over and picked up my smokes, quirking an eyebrow in the universal expression for "Can I have one?" I nodded slightly, and she picked up the lighter and lit her cigarette. As she exhaled, she looked curiously at the cigarette she held between her fingers. "What is this? It tastes like…vanilla?" She looked at me, seeking confirmation.
"It's a Djarum Black. They're kretek cigarettes. You know - cloves." She made the "ah" face and took another drag.
"These are good," she said, the surprise evident in her voice. "I usually only like menthols, but these are really good." I wasn't surprised that Alice was a menthol smoker, because I just didn't see her sucking down Marlboro Reds like most of the people I knew. "So. Wanna talk?" She said it in such a way that I knew if I said "no" she wouldn't push, or think it was because I didn't trust her. I bit my lip, trying to decide if I wanted to talk or just stew. Finally I sighed, flicking the butt of my smoke over the balcony.
"My folks are good. Happy I'm safe, glad I have a friend," she smiled brightly at this, "and just generally being very supportive. Jake, on the other hand, can't pick between being an asshole and being a sweetheart. I'm starting to think that six months apart is a good idea." I looked over the balcony for a second, not really focusing on anything before I made a decision. I would not let my sad, depressed boyfriend ruin London for me, especially when he was 5,000 miles away and on another continent. I wouldn't let anyone ruin London for me. I looked up, deciding that my kickass time in London started now.
"So, Alice, how were your phone calls?" I said, blatantly changing the subject. I got a strange look, but she seemed to know that the last thing I wanted to discuss right now was Jake.
"They were good. My parents are glad I got here safe and that I made a friend," now it was my turn to smile, "and we should have some mattresses in an hour." I looked at her, making sure she wasn't joking.
"Seriously? How did you do that?" She just looked at me, smiling like that damn cat that ate the canary.
"In the usual way, of course. Threats and coercion. They're only futon mattresses, but it's better than sleeping on the floor. I figured we'd go shopping for furniture tomorrow. My dad told me a few places to go if we want unique things, so I thought we'd make a day of it!" She looked happy, and I felt myself smiling along with her. It would be fun shopping with Alice. Not clothes shopping, because I knew that was a whole different animal, but furniture shopping was harmless. Right?
The next few hours passed quickly. The mattresses arrived and were placed ceremoniously in the middle of our bedroom floors. We hung up clothes in the closet, which may have been traumatic for Alice because I only had one dress, a few pairs of nice pants and a couple button-down shirts to hang up while she had about fifty of each. She had another shock when I pulled my prized possessions from the bottom of one of my bags. My black, knee-high Doc Marten boots were possibly my favorite shoes ever, besides my Chucks. Alice said they suited me, although she would never wear them, and decided that they must also be used in this mysterious clothing line of hers.
We took showers after that, and let me tell you, that shower was fuckawesome. I just sat on the bench for a half hour, letting the steam swirl around me while I shaved my legs. When I finally had no reason to be in there anymore I turned it off and threw my hair up in a towel, not bothering with clothes since I got to walk into my room from the shower. I threw on a cotton bra and some red boy shorts before I attempted to pick some clothes. I finally decided on a skinny pair of dark blue Levi's and my lovingly abused Green Day t-shirt, which, to be honest, was just a variation of what I wore most every day. I went back into the bathroom to dry my hair a little before making my way to the kitchen, discovering that Alice had also taken a casual approach to her outfit. She was wearing pair of skinny grey jeans with a dark red v-neck tank top. We were both barefoot with wet hair and no makeup, and it was the most comfortable I had been in a long time. It felt like we'd been doing this forever.
She sat down on the floor with her back resting against the island. I sat next to her, bringing my knees to my chest and resting my chin on them. I could feel the tension rolling off of her in waves and wondered what she was so tense about. I figured that if she wanted to explain, she would, and just sat next to her, silently offering my support.
"Jasper," she finally said, "will be here in fifteen minutes. With food. And his friends." She grabbed my arm and faced me. "What am I going to do?"
I put my hand over hers and squeezed. "You will charm their pants off, that's what you'll do. How could they not love you?" I moved my arm over her shoulder and gave her a big hug, knowing that what she needed right now was assurance that she wasn't going to make a fool of herself in front of her beloved. Just then we heard a knock on the front door.
"They're here," she breathed. I stood up, going to greet the unknown.
*gasp* Who could be at the door with Jasper? Any ideas?
Let's see, who should I rec this week….so many to choose from…ok! Tie Me Down To This World by Struck Upon A Star is one of *the* best Alice and Jasper fics I've ever read. It's an awesomely original take on their relationship, and as you will see, I love me so Jasper. Mmmhmmm.
Oh lurkers! A few of you came out and reviewed : ) We're making progress! How about a fewe more? I'll send an Edward your way stat!