A/N: Yay chapter 8! I just want to thank all of you who have reviewed or put this story on alert. It gives me more incentive to write :) Hmmm….not much left to say…well. This chapter's a bit longer…longer than the chapters I usually write...maybe twice as long...? I'm not sure. Anway, enjoy!

Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Big Time Rush. But I do, however, own Ethan Knight, Piper Reynolds, Thomas Creavy, Nurse Emily, or any other minor character that might just poof in anywhere at some point.

August, Friday 3rd, 2012

Ethan had been slipping in and out of consciousness for the past 2 days. Vaguely aware of his surroundings, he knew two things- he had passed out in the ER waiting room and wherever he was now was especially…white. White and light. That's how he saw everything in his blurred vision. Being forever trapped in the darkness, Ethan cherished how light and luminescent everything was. And though he himself felt cold and stiff, the light was warm…inviting…

He secretly hoped, believed he was in heaven. That he was dead; away from all the pain and torture. The thought of death brought him joy. It was an add feeling; he hadn't felt joy or happiness in so long…

However, his theory of death slowly dissolved. For instance, occasionally a brighter, blinding light would appear in his sight, consuming everything he saw for a few seconds, and then leaving him seeing black dots and red splotches for a few moments longer. This seemed very strange to him to begin with, but he ignored this; it wasn't enough proof for the 19 year old. What really pulled the thread that he was dead, were the times when he would feel an excruciating, sharp pang of pain that spread like fire throughout his whole being, blinding him in another way, until a couple minutes later, he would feel an icy liquid course all through his system, until he returned to his numb, bodiless feeling that he was currently in. However, unlike all the other times, this time his sedation was different…the floating feeling was weaker…

"Ethan," he heard a voice call. "It's time to wake up, sleepy…" What? Who was that? He somewhat recognized the kind voice, but he still didn't want to wake up just yet…wait, wake up? Yep. That completely blew his dead theory.

Seeing he was stirring but not completely awake yet, the voice said in a more stern voice,

"It's time to wake up, Ethan." And he felt a pair of warm hands slightly, ever so gently, tap his arm.

Ethan…the name sounded so familiar, so comfortable. In a sense it felt…right.

Deciding the voice wasn't going to give up any time soon and that it knew he could hear it, Ethan slowly opened his eyes, looking around at his surroundings. Hospital…he was in the hospital still. The room was dimly lit (still brighter than what he was used to); the only source of light coming from a sliver of window the blinds couldn't cover. Through that sliver, he saw the sun. Even if he couldn't see much of it, it was still the sun. The shining, yellow, glorious sun. He thought it couldn't be real. It had to be either one of those spotlights or lamplights…or maybe it was all just a dream. An incredibly vivid dream. Being away from the monster, actually seeing the ball of light…it couldn't be anything, but a dream. Yes, not death, but a dream. Any minute now he'd wake up chained to that filthy, god forsaken, damned bed, enduring whatever Thomas threw at him next…sometimes, in fact, throwing things or even him was included. For being in his mid-50's Thomas was actually fairly strong. Ethan slightly shook his head to clear his mind of that ass hole. Since this had to be a dream, if only he could see a mirror…well, then he'd be content. He'd be able to handle whatever happened to him next when he woke up again...

He heard someone softly clearing their throat, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to reality, as it really wasn't a dream. Whoever that was, he didn't get a very good look when he first opened his eyes, was the voice that brought him out of his sleep in the beginning. It wasn't just that, though, he also recognized that sound- that specific throat clearing sound. He tore his eyes away from the window and looked to his left. He was right- it was the same nurse that helped him in the waiting room, all that time before…how long had it been?

The nurse smiled at him. "Glad to see you're awake," she said. "I'm Nurse Emily." She went to his right side where, he noticed for the first time, he had several needles protruding out of his wrist, hand, and arm, making it turn blue and purple wherever the needles were stuck in. There were also other various medical equipment connected to that arm and also on his left. However, it seemed like most of the sources of beeping were on his right arm for some reason unbeknownst to him. What else was he missing? Ethan moved his head a bit and felt a slight tug. He put his needle-free hand to his face and felt a tube run under his nose, behind his ears and continuing under his chin until it continued to wherever it went. Some sort of breathing tube…He then tried sitting up, to investigate better, and as he had over the past two days, he again felt the blaring, intense pain. However, this time it was so much worse than it had been before. Before, the pain was horrible, but still tolerable. But now…the burning sensation blazed through him, searing every part of him it touched; soon consuming his whole self. Ethan began gasping for breath and, like what happened not so long ago and what had been happening to him the 9 years he was gone, darkness began to seize his vision once more. Before, what only lasted a few moments, the pain only blazing a few moments, maybe (probably) even seconds, now lasted what seemed like forever to him. Ethan grimaced, clenching the bed sheets underneath him in tight fists as to attempt to keep his resolve, stay strong (weakness gave them power), and as to not scream his lungs out. He wanted to move, try to lessen the pain in some way, but he felt as if he was frozen in his spot; he just couldn't move.

Nurse Emily loosened his grip on the sheets and carefully, but strongly, pushed him back into the pillows. She then quickly pulled a long needle out of one of the many pockets on her purple Scooby Doo scrubs and ejected it into his I.V. line. Immediately, he felt the familiar coldness was throughout his veins and began to feel light headed and suddenly very tired.

"You should be more careful there," She warned as she disposed of the needle. "You only got out of surgery yesterday. You shouldn't be moving at all, let alone sitting up…"

A beeping sound, louder and different than the beeping that was already filling the room, interrupted her small rant. She pulled her pager from another one of her numerous pockets and sighed a little.

"I should go," she said. "But if you need me or if you feel any more pain, just press that red button with the picture of the old-timey nurse on the side of your bed there and I'll be over as soon as I can. Okay, sweety?

"Wait," He stopped her, wanting to know a few more things before he fell asleep again.

"Yes?" She asked patiently.

"Is…is this a dream?" His eyes started to flutter, desperately wanting to close. Fighting sleep was getting more difficult. Damn drugs…

Nurse Emily smiled sweetly. Ethan decided he liked her; even if he hardly knew her. She had a certain calming presence about her…she possessed a genuine kindness and concern for others.

"No, hon. That's just the morphine. I promise you this is all real. You're safe now, Ethan." He wasn't completely satisfied with that answer, but she began to turn towards the door again, to take her leave, and he had a couple more things he needed to know…

"Wait. One…one more thing. Please," he stopped her again, his voice getting softer and slower. She nodded once and again turned to face him.

"My," He yawned. He was practically asleep now. "You…Ethan…Another thing I…want…to ask…how…why…?"

Again she smiled and gently squeezed the hand that didn't have tons of tubes taped to his skin.

"Just sleep," She whispered. "I promise there'll be plenty of time to ask anything else you want to know. Relax and get well." Ethan closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep; a small smile on his lips. Smiling. Another thing he hadn't done in what seemed like forever…it felt nice.

Carlos couldn't stop smiling. Well, he already smiled almost all the time, but over the past two days, it was the most he had ever smiled in all his life. Kendall swore he even saw him smiling in his sleep...Carlos could only describe it as him just being so happy. He couldn't remember a time he felt happier than he did the moment Logan rewound the TV to reveal that their long lost brother was finally, FINALLY found. The two brothers had screamed, jumped, danced, hugged each other, hugged Logan, squished Katie in a hug, and destroyed James' perfect hair, that he had spent about 4 hours on, by also trampling him in a hug when he came down to see what all the noise was about. Apparently, when he was beautifying the hair, loud noises brought down his mojo...whatever that was. Carlos was insistant that they go down and get him right at that moment, but Kendall had pointed out that they didn't even know where he was. They would have rewound the TV again, but, in all the comotion, someone sat on the remote, changing the channel, and completely erasing the opportunity to go back and watch the small segment to find out where the heck Ethan was.

It took about half the day to exactly pinpoint where he was. Turned out he was in a hospital in Canyon Country in California. That's where they lived too! What were the odds? For some lucky reason, fate was finally on their side. After that, Kendall acted just as eager to go see Ethan and bring him home, but Logan pointed out that since he was in a hospital, by the time they made the drive down to the other city and to the hospital, visiting hours would be over. He also pointed out that...well...they still technically hadn't told Mama Knight about their incredible find. So, once she came home from errands, they told her everything. Logan's discovery, where her oldest son was...and she passed out. After they finally were able to revive her, Jennifer began bawling. And that's what consumed the better part of the rest of the day and night; trying to calm her down and assuring her that she was a great mom/gaurdian. They other part was getting Gustavo to agree to let them leave. In the end, thanks to Kelly as usual, it was all sorted out that the four boys would be able to skip work for as long as they needed to.

But now, finally, on the third day (still too long if you asked Kendall or Carlos) Kendall, James, Logan, Carlos, Katie, and Jennifer were packing their bags, they figured they'd stay in a hotel in Canyon Country instead of driving back and forth everyday, and soon after that the collective group was heading out of apartment 2J and to Jennifer's van. It may have taken two days, but they were finally coming for their brother.