Disclaimer-I do not own Glee...but if you see a Genie let me know:)

You are my Lighthouse

by-andthenIfound5dollars

warning-Spoilers and background scenes from "Goodbye"-warning

A/N: I had a lot of trouble with this chapter…my muse was really going for later parts of this story and really silent on how, and what I wanted to convey here. I am posting it mainly because I want to continue on. So if it seems choppy or disjointed, I apologize and may come back to it again later. Let me know what you think:) Again, thank you all so much for all the feedback on this story; it really is so awesome to hear what you guys think!

Tina's heart was broken, her tears slipping down her face as she walked back to where she had left Mike and Artie.

"Hey, what happened?" Mike asked softly winding his arm around his girlfriend's waist. "What's wrong?"

Tina wiped her eyes and shook her head. "Kurt got his letter, he didn't get in."

"Oh man." Artie breathed rubbing his head.

"I just don't understand." Tina squeaked into Mike's shoulder. "I was there; I watched that amazing performance…I heard what she said to him. He deserved this." She looked to Mike for an explanation, but he just shrugged as he held her a little tighter and Artie shook his head.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Mercedes asked as she and Sam walked up hand in hand.

"Kurt got his letter," Artie explained, "He didn't get in."

Mercedes face fell as she groaned and laid her head on Sam's shoulder. "Where is he, is he okay?"

Tina lifted her head, "He's with Blaine." She paused and sniffled "Would you be okay?"

Mercedes shook her head sadly as Sam frowned and spoke up.

"Wait, I'm confused…I saw Finn a little while ago, he said Rachel was accepted. I assumed they both were."

Nobody spoke for a few minutes, all four of them staring at Sam.

"Wait a damn minute." Mercedes finally interjected and Sam jumped back. "Are you telling me, Finn said Rachel got in, and Kurt didn't?"

"Well…yeah…I mean that's what he said, so." Sam stuttered, shifting his eyes. He was still a little afraid of Diva Mercedes.

"I can't believe this!" she almost yelled it, shaking her head as Sam began patting her back awkwardly.

"Okay baby, I think you should ca…"

"This is total crap!" Mercedes interrupted him shrugging off his hand. "I mean come on. Tina, you were there, you saw how amazing he was. He did things with his hips and legs I could never do…and sounded amazing while doing it."

Tina nodded her head, but didn't say anything as Mercedes continued.

"And Rachel blew it! She blew it and we all know it!" Mercedes was really pissed now. "Why does she get the chance to prove herself, when Kurt already has? It's complete and utter bullshit!"

"Mercedes…" Tina began but Mercedes wouldn't be stopped.

"This is exactly why I got so upset this year, apparently this is all just 'The Rachel Berry Show' and what we want and what we work hard for doesn't matter!"

"We? I thought we were talking about Kurt?" Tina interjected getting upset. "I agree that Kurt deserved to get in, but that doesn't make Rachel's accomplishment any less valid or important. We all know how talented Rachel is and she deserved this just as much as he did."

"NO! That is not supposed to be how the world works. You aren't supposed to be able to walk all over your friends, blow your shot, and still get everything you want. Just because you started drinking the Rachel Berry Kool-Aid Tina, doesn't mean the rest of us have to."

Mercedes threw up her hands in disgust and Tina looked like Mercedes had slapped her across the face.

"The harsh fact is, Kurt deserved this and he didn't get it. He worked his ass off, took a huge risk, and was amazing." Mercedes pulled on Sam's arm as she made to walk away. "And like always, he is left picking up the pieces of the tornado that is Rachel Berry. This has the potential to break our friends apart, and if that happens, I'm on Team Kurt, the end."

Sam looked back at his friends apologetically, but allowed himself to be pulled away by a very pissed off Mercedes.

Mike pulled Tina into a hug as the three of them watched their friends walk away.

"The thing is," Artie finally broke the silence. "I can't even be upset with her."

"Mercedes?" Mike asked.

Artie just nodded. He put a comforting hand on Tina, and then rolled away.

XXXX

Kurt stared out the window of his Navigator from the passenger seat. He could feel Blaine sneaking looks at him as he drove the familiar track to the Hummel-Hudson house.

Kurt felt the pressure of Blaine's hand in his. He closed his eyes as he reveled in the familiarity of the way their hands and fingers fit together. Letting it go for only a moment as he unlocked and opened the car door, Blaine hadn't really been able to let go of Kurt's hand. Kurt was glad, after that ordeal…he needed something solid to feel anchored to.

It was quite possibly the scariest feeling in the world, his panic attack. It had felt like his body had been taken over and his windpipe was being slowly squeezed shut. The room around him swaying in a way he had never experience before. Vertigo taking over his brain as pure terror had washed over his body. He fought for every breath, feeling more and more ridiculous for having such a reaction to a rejection letter.

Kurt was used to rejection. He could take anything the world chose to throw at him, and he could take it with grace and humility with just a few jabs thrown in for good measure.

But this was different. This was the first time he had actually allowed himself to hope for something he wanted. The first time he had begun to get excited, plan, prepare. He had lengthy discussions with his boyfriend about how to deal with this separation; he triaged his room for what he wanted to take and what he wanted to leave. He had planned out every moment of the next year of his life, and had actually allowed himself get excited for it.

And now, it was all gone.

It didn't matter that he had a stack of acceptance packets lying on his desk at home from other schools. Schools he hadn't wanted to apply to (but Ms. Pillsbury had been insistent) because they weren't NYADA. It didn't matter, because he wanted NYADA. He wanted NYADA and he didn't get in. Rachel did, and that was that. She would realize her dream, see it come true…and he would stay here.

Kurt opened his eyes, a thought coming to him.

"Shit."

"What, what's wrong?" Blaine glanced over at him concerned. It was the first time Kurt had spoken since they had gotten in the car.

"All my stuff." Kurt answered quietly. "My locker, all my crap is still in my locker. I was going to clean it out when I got the text from…when I got the text." He rubbed his eyes in annoyance. "I had completely forgotten until now."

"Don't worry about it." Blaine assured squeezing his hand a little. "I'll get it tomorrow. I still have one more day of class."

"Thank you." Kurt said quietly. "For…just, thank you."

Blaine didn't say anything, but pulled their tangled hands up to kiss Kurt's knuckles, his eyes not leaving the road as they pulled into Kurt's driveway. He turned the car off and pulled the key from the ignition.

Kurt took a deep breath looking at his dad's car parked in the driveway. Blaine seemed to read his thoughts as he squeezed his hand again and said,

"I can tell him, if you want me too."

Kurt turned his head to his boyfriend and smiled slightly at the warmth he found in Blaine's hazel eyes. Tempted for a moment at the prospect of falling into his bed without seeing the disappointment his dad would try his best to hide…he knew he couldn't chicken out. His dad deserved more than that from him.

"No, I need to do it." Kurt said shaking his head. Blaine nodded as Kurt looked down and added. "Could you just…could you come with me?"

Blaine used his free hand to cover their intertwined fingers and looked Kurt in the face.

"Of course." His voice so full of love and comfort, Kurt had to look up. "Of course." He reiterated just to make sure Kurt understood, he would always be there for him. Kurt swallowed before nodding his thanks.

Kurt reluctantly let go of Blaine's hand and opened his door. He stared up at his home as he slung his bag over his shoulder. He felt Blaine's hand rest on the small of his back, leading him up the walk and thorough the front door.

"Dad?" Kurt called from the alcove, dropping his bag and keys on the hutch as Blaine pushed the door shut behind them.

"In here Kurt!" Burt called from the kitchen. Blaine rubbed Kurt's upper arms as he followed him. Burt was sitting at the kitchen table, on his cell in front of his laptop.

"Nope, today." He said into his phone. "I won't be out there until next Monday so I need you to do it today."

Burt looked up with a smile and a wink to his son and his son's boyfriend, who had managed to turn into a part of his family in no time at all.

"I gotta go Jamie, my son just got home." Burt said into his phone, frowning when he took in Kurt and Blaine's faces.

"What's up guys?" Burt asked setting his phone down and standing up. Kurt began shaking his head and finally met his dad's eyes.

"My letter came today." He paused as a sob threatened to escape from his chest. "I didn't…dad I didn't get it."

Burt didn't say anything for a few moments; he stared at Kurt like he didn't quite understand the words his son had just said. Kurt shook his head sadly as Burt's face fell and pulled his boy into a big hug.

"I'm so sorry bud, I know how much you wanted this." Burt murmured into Kurt's hair. Kurt didn't say anything, just led his dad hold him tight to his chest.

Blaine stood in the doorway; watching and waiting…he quickly swept his fingers under his eye and was glad Kurt couldn't see.

Burt looked over Kurt's shoulder to where Blaine was standing. The two men Kurt loved most in this world shared a look ending with Blaine giving his head a small, but strong nod.

Burt closed his eyes and held Kurt a little tighter for a moment before letting go but kept his hands strong on Kurt's shoulders.

"Are you…well I know you're not 'Okay' but…" Burt stopped, not sure how to finish his sentence. He knew Kurt wasn't okay and probably wouldn't be for a while and this was no time to talk about what his other plans were.

"I'm just really tired dad, I think I'm gonna go upstairs and lay down for a while."

Burt nodded as Kurt turned and held his hand out for Blaine to take.

The boys headed up the stairs and into Kurt's bedroom. Blaine pushed the door to almost closed and turned around. Kurt had already taken off his shoes, and was working on his tie and vest. Blaine toed off his boat shoes and pulled his phone and wallet out of his pocket and laid it on Kurt's dresser as Kurt crawled up on the bed and stretched out on top of the still made comforter facing the wall.

Blaine climbed up and scooted his body until he was as close to Kurt as possible. He reached down for the brown fuzzy blanket folded at the end of the bed. He pulled the blanket up, covering both Kurt and himself.

Kurt let out a ragged breath as Blaine wrapped his arm up and around Kurt's torso and gently kissed his neck, slipping his leg in-between Kurt's legs.

"Kurt, just let go." Blaine whispered against Kurt's neck. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

Kurt was quiet for a few moments, finally reaching his hand up and covering his eyes as the tears started leaking out.

"I wanted it so badly, Blaine." A sob that shook his entire body finally escaped and Blaine just held him tighter. "I...I just..."

"I know."

They didn't say anything else. Blaine held his crying boyfriend until he was asleep, his own tears slipping quietly over his face, occasionally kissing Kurt's neck and breathing the scent of his shampoo.

A/N: Reviews and Feedback are like Red Velvet Cupcakes for my soul.