BEACH EPISODE!

Meanwhile, the gang was off being stupid in the cafe.

'Inu Yasha!' jumped Miroku. 'I was hanging out at the record shop, where I overheard Angel the manager describe me as an anime character.'

The Inu Yasha nodded, hoping it would end soon.

'And then the other clerk said that all animes have beach episodes.'

'Uh-hu.'

'SO LETS HAVE A BEACH EPISODE!'

'you-' began Inu Yasha, who was so angry that his fury smashed an ancient earthenware vase on the shelf next to him. Crabang! Some gaseous object unfurled out of the vase and into the monk's small nostrils. The half-demon panicked, fearing compulsory employment at the local host club.

'Non alieni amare. Scis leges et ego.' screamed Miroku. 'A studii suus quod ego ratus de. Non ab alio capere amet. Ego iustus wanna tibi quam ego sentiens Redditus est nobis vos interlinear!'

Inu Yasha was surprised, and more surprised when a pink laser beam emanated from the heavens and onto his forehead, dumping a bunch of insane exposition right into his half-human brain box. 'Uhu, oh really! I had no idea! And that's why it was always shepherds? The Cold War was fought between two hands of the same body, really! Parsifal means everything? The black iron prison never fell? Kipplé!' Learning is not always easy.

Kagome walked into the cafe, took one look at Miroku's babbling and commented. 'Yet another tragic case of Googleglossolia.'

'I have no idea what you are talking about.' responded Miroku. 'Crazy! Toys in the attic, he is crazy!'

'We need to go and see Ferris F Fremont' began Inu Yasha, wiping froth from his cheek 'Right now!'

'Weren't we going off to molest a goat?' asked Miroku innocently.

'There's that, and there's what the satellite told me! The Variable Astrological Love Intelligence System told me that Fremont can help us with on the goat.'

Kagome lifted an edition of the Quibbler from the table and held it up to the half-demon. CHEW Z: CHEAPEST FORM OF TIME TRAVEL. 'You've been hitting the tabloids again, haven't you?'

'Kagome,' exhaled Inu Yasha, 'Its either believe the first tabloid you read or spin off into a cyclone of epistemological paranoia, and the run the risk of SOLIPSISM!'

'And as a man of religion,' gurgled Miroku as he downed a jug of Sake 'I simply caint staind SOLIPSISM!'

Kagome wished she was in a more sensible anime. Like Cowboy Bebop or Whisper of the Heart or something. Hell, in Cowboy Bebop she'd probably be kicking a row of gangsters standing on a conveyer in the crotch to the sound of a saxophone going Do, Do, Do. ''Fine, fine, we'll waddle off and see FFF. What kind of bloke did Valis tell you he was?'

'One of the presidential variety I believe.' squacked Inu Yasha, his eyes popping out like that of a plush doll's.