A/N: Okay so, I've been suffering the infamous writer's block (*gasp* oh the terror!) and I was feeling a little down and lost and then I'm like just write what you feel and that is what I did. But on the plus side, I just learnt to check my email and am I allowed to quietly sob to myself that people have favourited and added? Am I allowed to love you? Is that okay?
Also, I'd like to say a big thanks to Michelle, who's been a massive help with everything!
Thank you so, so much for the adds and reviews! I thrive off your feedback!
Chapter 5
Three Months Earlier
Santana knew those kinds of days; she knew those days where everything seemed to pass you by in a misshapen blur. You miss chunks and pieces of time and then they all somehow mesh together in a confusing and insignificant collection of confusing and insignificant moments that made up what you called 'a day'.
The time passes you by sporadically; sometimes it seems to move too fast, other times too slow. And in that period you're strangely disappointed and unsatisfied, but you're not exactly sure of what you were hoping for in the first place. You do everything exactly the same and nothings different, but something's missing. You just don't know what. There's a void you hope to fill, but you're clueless as to how. It feels like you just spend that whole time waiting and waiting, but for what - you didn't know.
Those kinds of days made up the majority of Santana's life. Up until she had found Brittany, that is.
That's when Santana knew what she had been waiting for, knew what that missing piece she hoped to find was; what she had been waiting for to fill the void in her life.
She had been waiting for Brittany.
Brittany brought a sense of clarity to Santana's mind; she was what distinguished these hazy expanses of time from one another. Santana's life was now separated into two categories; moments with Brittany, and the rest of her shitty time spent thinking about Brittany.
Santana began to realise that every minute apart from Brittany was like living with that void. She felt unfulfilled. And at one point, she had tried to fill it desperately; she had slept with a countless number of guys seeking to fill the gaping hole in her life, but it never changed that feeling of emptiness inside her.
It was then she realised that Brittany was the only person who could.
"How is it," Brittany began as she stared with lustful eyes at the half naked Santana sprawled across her bed, "you always manage to be so beautiful, without even trying?"
Santana blushed, a smile spread across her lips, "I could ask you that same question, Britt."
"But..." Brittany gazed at Santana, now in awe. She was the most gorgeous thing she had ever seen in her entire life; every little detail that could be called an imperfection made her even more perfect, if that was even possible. "You are so perfect."
"C'mere," Santana mumbled bashfully, opening her arms to allow Brittany to curl up into her body and wrapped them around the blonde. The two lay still in silence as they watched the sun rise through the open window, the light illuminating everything with a soft warm glow. The scene was perfect, something you would expect to in a fairytale. Brittany could not believe that she was lying there, in the arms of her girlfriend, watching the sun rise and if felt almost too good to be true.
"Can we not go to school today?" Brittany said, pouting. She was perfectly content with lying there in bed with her girlfriend, not wanting to spend a second apart. School was cruel for splitting them like that, it seemed totally unnecessary and pointless to put them in separate classes throughout the day when it was guaranteed that every lesson was spent thinking about each other anyway.
"That sounds like a perfect idea," Santana sighed, "but we can't. We've skipped too many, babe."
It was Brittany's turn to sigh; Santana squeezed her waist before bringing a hand to brush away the blonde locks that fell in front of her face. Brittany sighed again at the thought that she wouldn't be able to feel those arms around her body like she could now, not until after school, or at least until they couldn't contain their dirty thoughts any further and crashed into the janitors closet or showers, lips interlocked, hands searching greedily.
Two months. Two months of being officially 'together' and yet they still weren't able to be public with their relationship. They still weren't able to hold each other like every other couple, they weren't able to share a kiss like everyone else, and they couldn't even hold hands in public without fearing a slushy in the face. The worst part of it all was not being able to tell anyone, it felt like they were hiding a part of themselves, hiding something they should have been most be proud of, and that was each other.
But, at least, they still had each other's pinkies.
"It's a promise," Santana explained holding her pinkie out for Brittany to take, "it's a promise that I will never hurt you, it's a promise that I will always love you and it's a promise that no matter what, I will always be yours." Brittany smiled happily as she hooked their pinkies together, Santana smiled briefly before continuing, "and it's your reminder, whenever we walk down these halls together with our pinkies hooked like this, that you have something nobody else will ever have."
"And what's that?"
"My heart."
"We should get up," Santana said finally, releasing the grip on Brittany's waist and sitting up. Brittany groaned. She missed it already.
"But I don't wanna..." Brittany whined into her pillow.
"How about," Santana murmured stroking the sides of Brittany's hips, and leant in to whisper in her ear, "if you get up right now, I will take you in the shower, and I'll push you against the wall with my hand between your legs and do things to you that you have only ever dreamed of."
To say Brittany was quick out of bed was a definite understatement.
"Pathetic! You call that a back handspring?" Coach Sue roared through her megaphone at the young brunette who had just completed what had been a flawless double back handspring layout combination. "My cousin Joyce could do a better back handspring than that and she happens to be induced in a severe seven week state of comatose."
The young girls face fell, tears welled in her eyes. The rest of the Cheerio cheerleading squad stood with their hands on their hips behind her, slightly dizzy from trying to capture enough air through the sole use of their noses; mouth breathing was seen as sort of a taboo thing in McKinley's six time national champion cheerleading squad.
"All of you hit the showers before that stench of complete and utter failure sticks to my perfectly scented polyester tracksuit and I'd have to hand it to the dry cleaner's for the fifth time today." the Coach ordered, dismissing them with a disgusted look.
Brittany's head felt light and airy as she walked back towards the locker room, Santana following closely behind her. Her body ached and her heart was hammering so hard in her chest she thought it was going to erupt. The wisps of hair that had managed to escape her air-tight ponytail splayed across her cheek, sticking to the sweat that dripped down her forehead.
The girls all stripped down to their underwear before wrapping their heated bodies in towels and entered their stalls. The room began to fog up with the steam rising from each of the stall's showerheads as they began rinsing the sweat off their bodies. Brittany kept her eyes down to the ground in her own stall, forcing herself to look away from the Latina whose naked body was only a meter or so away from her own.
The setting was all too familiar to her. It reminded her of the hot and heavy sex they had shared inside the walls Brittany's shower that morning and she couldn't help but shudder under the hot water that pattered against her skin. Santana's naked body pressed up against her, water cascading across the curves of her breasts as she panted next to Brittany's ear, her fingers pressed firmly inside of the blonde's core, her wet tongue licking up every drop of water that clung to Brittany's skin, and how it felt like Santana's mouth was everywhere all at once and everywhere her lips pressed it ignited her body.
Brittany had to hold back an aroused moan as she recalled every vivid image in her mind. She brought her eyes up to gaze at Santana who was looking at her unashamedly, her eyes raking up and down every inch of Brittany's body.
It was all too much.
She was now infuriated with that solid brick wall that was cemented between the two stalls. All she wanted to do was reach out and touch Santana; feel the Latina's wet body beneath her own hands.
"Santana..."Brittany whispered, her desperate eyes searching Santana's own, pleading silently to let her touch her.
"I know," Santana murmured back, biting her lip. It was clear she wanted it too, but they couldn't now, not with a dozen other girls packed in the same room.
They looked at each other, desire clear in their eyes, but the two girls forced themselves to wait out the rest of the other cheerleaders who were clueless to the sexual tension that sat between them.
Slowly but steadily, the change rooms began to empty with Brittany and Santana still standing idly underneath the water jets of their own showers. The time it took was excruciatingly painful to the both of them. Brittany felt like she couldn't restrain herself any longer; just hearing the way Santana breathed heavily beside her made her body tingle all over.
Finally, the last cheerleader slammed her locker shot and exited the room. The two girls let out a long, relieved sigh.
"I thought these bitches were never going to leave." Santana said as she slipped out of her stall, naked, and locked the change room doors. Brittany giggled, running her fingers nimbly through her wet hair, letting the hot water run down her scalp.
The blonde tried to act nonchalant as Santana slipped into her stall, standing behind her, but she couldn't hold back the shivers when the Latina pressed her lips on her bare shoulder. Santana brought her hands around to Brittany's stomach, ghosting her lips across the back of Brittany's neck.
"San..." Brittany breathed, relaxing at the touch. Santana's hands made a small trail down to her hip, teasing her. She then brought back one hand to cup Brittany's breast and squeezed it gently, and Brittany sighed as she let her head drop back to rest on Santana's shoulder. No, it was her turn to take the lead. Brittany needed to repay her for that morning.
Her resolve faltered as Santana began pinching her nipple, the tips of her fingers brushing the sides of her hips and her lips dusting the skin of her back in feather-light kisses. With much needed will power, she straightened up and turned to face the Latina. She cupped her cheek and brought their lips together in a slow wet kiss. Their lips melted together, each panting breath disappearing into the steam around them, the water made their kisses sloppy but passionate, nonetheless.
Santana's lips parted to Brittany's tongue, Brittany catching Santana's upper lip with it and deepening the kiss. She spun them around quickly and pushed Santana's back up against the wall, the Latina cringed at the sensation of the cool tiles on her skin. Brittany brought her lips to Santana's neck and placed soft bites along the skin and let her tongue drag up to the spot underneath Santana's jaw. Her hands fell down to hook underneath Santana's legs and she hoisted her up so her legs wrapped around her waist, Santana moaned as she pressed up against her.
"Fuck..." Santana moaned again, as Brittany slid her hand between them and stroked Santana's centre. The angle was awkward but she managed to slip two fingers inside of Santana's heat, and Santana clawed at the blonde's back, gasping in pleasure.
Every motion, every twitch in Santana's face, was rectifying, beautiful, and it only drove Brittany wilder. She began pumping her fingers faster inside of her, relishing in the way Santana's walls clenched around them and with her thumb she drew tight circles around the bundle of nerves which caused the Latina to shout incoherent Spanish words, bringing her closer to the edge.
She brought her lips back onto Santana's, pushing her tongue into her mouth and taking in every taste of it. Their kiss only lasted for a few moments before Santana had to break away to gasp for air.
"Oh god Britt," Santana grunted, curling her hips desperately into Brittany's hand, her breathing ragged and her nails digging deep into the blonde's back. Brittany plunged her fingers deeper in response and curled them inside of the Latina who bit down hard on Brittany's shoulder, her body tightening around Brittany's fingers, stiffening for a moment before convulsing with tremors as she fell into oblivion.
The whole time Brittany watched captivated by every sound escaping her lips, mesmerized by the way Santana bit down on her lip to try and hold back her loud moans, her fingers continued, bringing her back down. She tried to commit every detail to her memory, knowing no matter how many times she replayed this in her head, it would never surmount to the real thing. It was beautiful and delicate but sensual at the same time; she would never get enough of Santana like this.
Brittany couldn't help but feel sorry for the entire student body of McKinley High School. She couldn't help but pity that they all weren't as lucky as her. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine being able to love and be loved by some as wonderful and sexy as Santana. She looked down upon everyone else because they couldn't possibly be feeling every miraculous feeling she felt.
There wasn't a time now, that she could remember anything outside of Santana. Everything just was Santana. It was like Santana was the entire world, holding a gravitational pull on Brittany that nobody else had. No matter what she was doing or thinking, she would always find herself caught in this imaginary pull and Santana would always somehow be there at the forefront of her life. No, not imaginary, that was the wrong word. What Brittany felt, the attachment and solid pull that connected them; it was very, very real.
Brittany didn't know a lot of things, but she did know what she felt for Santana was the realest, most tangible thing she had ever known. Lost in her thoughts, the blonde floated down the hallways alone at the end of biology, waiting at her locker as usual for Santana to come pick her up.
"Well hey there, baby."
Brittany looked up alarmed as a tall masculine boy leant against the locker beside her - Santana's locker - she squirmed uncomfortably as his eyes dropped to run over her long legs. She didn't like the way he looked at her, like he was thinking of her in ways only Santana ever should. It made her feel dirty and exposed, she felt like she was being used and it made her feel worthless. Like she was just some object the boy could use to enlighten his imagination and nothing more.
"With legs like that, I'd expect to see a slice like you in a Victoria Secret catalogue."
Brittany frowned, not only was this boy all up in her personal space but he was also the worst flirt she had ever met, and that was from thirty seconds of conversation.
"So, listen," he began, taking a moment to lick his lips, "here's how I figure things worked; I'm a football player, you're a cheerleader, it is like law that we get together. So, I'd like to take you out on date, shoot back a couple of drinks then I'd take you back to mine..."
Oh hell to the no.
Some jackass was standing in front of her locker, hitting on her girl.
Santana glared at the jock who had Brittany backed up against her locker, his arm reaching up to push a loose strand behind her ear, feeling like she could physically burn a hole into his back. She clenched her fist; her vision was tinged in a red haze. Her whole body went rigid with rage.
Nobody touched her girl like that except her - nobody.
"Back the fuck up, crater face," Santana spat angrily, shoving the footballer in the chest. "Stay away from her."
"Woah," the footballer said, lifting his palms up, "easy there, babe."
"Don't call me babe," Santana hissed glaring at him, her tone deadly.
She was done with it all. She was done with every slimy sleaze trying to get inside of her girlfriends pants; she was done with everyone constantly treating them like they were just some sex toy they could have at their disposal. She was done with everyone thinking that they could use Brittany like that, and someone as gentle and innocent as Brittany. She was done with everyone treating Brittany like she wasn't special. Brittany above everything else, deserved to be made felt special. And here they were, acting like she was some cheap whore.
And it infuriated her, Brittany was her girlfriend.
"How about you leave me and this lovely lady alone?"
"And how about you fuck off before I pop each and every single one of those juicy pimples on your slimy ass face with razors?" Santana threatened through gritted teeth, flexing her jaw. "And she does not want to talk to you."
"Oh I have a feeling she does, don't you baby?" He turned to wink at Brittany who looked away to Santana, panicked. She looked vulnerable, weak and confused and Santana gnawed so hard on her teeth she thought they would split under the pressure. This guy could not take a hint.
"Okay, asshole," Santana hissed, taking a step towards him. "Let me break it down to you, if you like the feeling of having two very petit little balls in your pants I suggest you leave her the fuck alone."
"I'm sorry, who are you?" He asked, his irritation growing.
"I'm her girlfriend," Santana said, smirking at his horrified expression, "yeah, you heard me. So I can guarantee you that she is not interested. So why don't you go find the balls that you just lost and leave my girlfriend alone?"
"Ugh," he said gagging. "I think I'm going to be sick."
Santana hesitated, silently scrutinizing him. He blanched, his eyes turned coal black, his mouth wrinkling as if he had just tasted something fowl and couldn't get rid of the sickening after taste.
Was he actually going to be sick?
"You- I – ugh, that's fucking disgusting."
Santana felt like she had received a blow to the chest, completely winded. She hadn't been expecting that. Panic seized her for a moment but her fury overpowered anything else, she couldn't feel afraid, she didn't let herself regret anything.
She didn't let herself regret just jumping out of the closet, straight into the arms of her school's homophobic jock.
Did you like this chapter? Have any suggestions? Please tell me and review :)
knowthescore: The whole issue with Santana's parents will be coming up soon!
snixxjuice214: your suggestions are awesome! I'm definitely looking into doing that after a few chapters :)