Dirge Danorum
Chapter 22
We both stared at Grigor in disbelief. He looked over and frowned at us, then shook his head and smiled. "I saw it up close years ago," he said, then waved a hand. "Go on, children."
Velvet and I exchanged a glance. Children was a good way to describe us; we both scrambled up and took off down the hillside like we'd just heard the bell for recess. I hadn't been in the Zone long, but I knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. We weren't tired anymore, and considering Velvet's height and physique, she was amazingly fleet of foot. I had to work to keep up. There was a light mist in the valley, and that was why the glow had appeared so faint. Once we reached the bottom of the hill, we could see the anomaly more clearly, though it was still a long way off.
Rather than slowing down, we sped up.
It was an enormous weeping willow tree, and there were thousands of fireflies dancing in the air around it. As we approached, we could hear the faint strumming of a guitar. Panting for breath, we both stopped just short of the outermost branches, which hung low. Fireflies were all around us.
The Morton Stalker was sitting against the trunk of the tree, plucking at his guitar and singing. "…I would understand… the boy, a bit too insane – icing over a secret pain. You know you don't belong…" He looked up. "Oh, hey."
"Hallo," Velvet said, and yes, it did come out sounding like that. Even more than usual; I guess she was just so taken aback that she couldn't be bothered to speak English. So was I; I mean, Third Eye Blind?
The Morton Stalker took his hand off the guitar and pointed a finger at us. "Okay, you guys know only one of you can come in here, right?"
"What?"
"Just one." He shrugged. "That's how it is. It ought to be you," he said, pointing at me.
There was a long pause as we took that in. I'd heard the rumors about this thing. What it could do for you.
"No," I replied, shaking my head. "She needs it more than I do."
"You'd know best," the Morton Stalker said, plucking at the guitar again. "And by best, I mean not best. But it's a literal free country."
Velvet was giving me a questioning look. Her eyes were shining, not from the fireflies, but with hope. She could have asked anything of me right there. The temptation was strong, but not stronger than her hold one me. I swallowed and stepped back, motioning her forward before I lost my nerve. "Go on."
She turned back to the willow, and steeling herself, parted the branches and stepped in. Nothing happened.
"You, huh? All right." He put aside his guitar and clasped his hands, looking up at Velvet. "I can give you want you want – well, no, not what you want. I can give you what you need. Now, I don't know what you've heard, but this isn't free. It'll cost you, and I always come out of a deal on top," he said, pointing at himself.
"Cost what?" I asked.
"Hey!" He picked up the guitar and shook it at me. "You shut up." Velvet looked over her shoulder at me, then turned back to the Morton Stalker.
"I want to know too," she said.
"You know, you might actually be happier if you don't," he told her. "I'm serious."
"Just tell me."
"I don't give gifts," the Morton Stalker said. "I loan them. I'll be back for what I give you, and I'll take something else when I come."
"What?"
"Nothing much. Just whatever's most important to you, at the time."
There was another pause. Velvet didn't look back. Something told me that if I said something now, she wouldn't be able to hear me. I wouldn't even be able to go in to pull her out of there – this was something Velvet had to do herself.
The Twilight Shower was one of the Zone's holy grails. It couldn't be tracked or searched for, but every stalker hoped to stumble across it. I began to wonder if those accounts hadn't been a little rose-colored; it seemed like everything in the Zone had a hidden dark side. Nothing was ever what it seemed.
"And what would that be?" Velvet asked.
"We'll see, won't we?" The Morton Stalker shrugged. "But I've got a hunch. So do you. Don't you?"
Velvet said nothing to that. I could see her scuffing her boot in the dirt.
"It sounds like a hard choice," the Morton Stalker went on. "But it's not. You can take this deal and maybe still be alive at the end of this year, or you can walk away and die. You know you can't lead like this." Velvet looked up, surprised. "Who do you think I am?" the Morton Stalker asked, cocking his head.
"I don't know," she said.
He smiled and picked up the guitar. "You know you shouldn't be here the way you are," he said, and picked up the guitar again. "I'm here all night. Take your time." He started to play the intro to 'Mr. Jones.'
Now Velvet turned back and looked at me through the branches and the fireflies. This was just a formality. We both knew she was going to take the deal. If she had been able to speak with me, I'd have told her not to, and tried to convince her to leave with me. She wouldn't listen, and I wouldn't expect her to. I'd be wasting my breath, she'd know it, and I'd know it. But I'd do it anyway.
So I didn't do anything. I didn't gesture, I just returned her gaze. If it was a foregone conclusion, all I could do was back her play. I gave her a little shrug. We were both going to regret ever finding this weeping willow, and there would be plenty of tears before this year was over. Why fight it?
"All right."
"Good. Sort of." The Morton Stalker put aside his guitar and jumped to his feet, putting out his hand.
Velvet looked at it for several seconds, then locked her jaw and shook it. The Morton Stalker was gone, and Velvet was shaking hands with nothing. The willow and the fireflies were still there, but something in the air had changed. The invisible wall that kept me from getting closer to the tree was gone too, and I moved the hanging boughs aside to join Velvet inside.
"Well, what did he give you?"
"I don't know." She looked at her hands, frowning. Then she looked up me. "Him?"
I blinked. We had both seen someone – but we hadn't seen the same thing. I shook my head. "Never mind. Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," she replied, puzzled. It might have been my imagination, but I thought I could hear a few chords of 'Losing My Religion' on the wind. I opened my mouth to ask Velvet what she had seen and heard, but changed my mind. "He didn't give me anything. But I feel different."
"How?"
"Better."
"Your hat's crooked," I said, and reached out to fix the beret without thinking. She flinched away, then stopped. I'd stopped too. We stared at each other. "Are you kidding me?"
She licked her lips. "I don't think I am." I couldn't just reach out and do it; I'd seen this from her point of view, and felt what she felt. I held my breath and adjusted the beret, and the world didn't end.
"Well," she said, turning a little pink. "That is something, isn't it?"
I grabbed her and kissed her with everything I had.
Now I knew why all the stalkers who found the Twilight Shower told such rose-tinted stories. It wasn't about the catch, the cost, or the endgame. We were stalkers; if anyone in this world knows how to live in the moment, it's us. If there's something good in the here and now, that's enough. We deal with tomorrow's problems tomorrow. Maybe this was the only place in the world where things could be this way, where anything could happen.
After all, if I'd honestly answered Velvet when she asked what the odds were of us making out tonight, I'd have said it was impossible. We were living proof that it wasn't. Nothing was.