Leckadam's rocks for making me write this story.
You guys astound me! Thanks so much for all the support. I've never considered myself really good at this, but I love to tell a story. Writing doesn't come easy for me, but you all motivate and inspire me to do the very best that I can.
I know this chapter is late, but when I started reviewing/tweaking the chapter that I'd written so many months ago it was just over 4,000 words. The last two weeks I'd more than doubled my original content. I could've split it in two, but I thought you all deserved an extra long chapter for your support.
As of last chapter I'm averaging 6,215 words per chapter, posting every 7.15 days (I'm a number's gal). I'd say those stats are nothing to squawk at. Right? :)
By the way, I'm all about E/J, BUT is anyone reading Jasper/Peter? I don't usually rec fic's…for various reasons…and I'm not gonna start now, but you might want to check out the pairing, some amazing authors are giving them a try…so go read! The more slash the better…right?
In case you were wondering:
Jasper is 28, Edward is 26
Rosalie and Alice 30
Emmett 34
So without further adieux…here it is.
Layne Faire is the beta for this story, and she also writes slash, so check out her stuff.
Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight or any of its characters.
Chapter 7
It's been three days. I've allowed him three fucking days to sulk, stew, protest or whatever the hell he has to do - and now that's it. It's become perfectly evident that nothing will happen in our 'relationship' if I'm not playing the overbearing aggressor.
Fine by me.
If my mind could shrug right now, it would.
Now that I'm convinced he wants me, I'll do whatever it takes.
I'd given him the first day, because if I'm being honest I'd appreciated a day to myself as well. There's no mistaking that if Jasper would have graced me with his presence, I'd have been all over that. Since he hadn't, it allowed me time and space to review in great detail the events from the previous evening, finding more than enough material to reflect and dwell on.
In retrospect, I can't help but be embarrassed by the height of my audacity. It seems to know no bounds where Jasper is concerned. When he intended to leave for the island, I hadn't backed down. I've never displayed such persevering tenaciousness before, but then again I've never wanted anything or anyone as badly as Jasper.
And I don't regret it for an instant. How can I after the amazing outcome?
I had my very first man-kiss. Oh, how I wish it had been Jasper but Seth's kiss was warm, gentle and sweet. It was a nice kiss. But it had been my second kiss, and every kiss thereafter, that still has me reeling.
Even three days later, I continue to flush with heat and excitement, smiling profusely when I recall the way Jasper clutched me in his strong embrace, remembering the way his lips moved sensually against mine…so urgent…so demanding. The way he thoroughly possessed and controlled me, the way he flung me over the edge, but cradled me so protectively as I fell.
Just having his hand on me…Lord…nothing - so far in this world - can compare to that heaven. Knowing full well that there is still so much more to experience excites, worries, and frightens me.
However, arriving at that point is going to prove a larger challenge than I'd originally anticipated.
Amongst the other menial, inconsequential details like… oh, Jasper's absence, and his everlasting determination to avoid me at all costs; there is now a much bigger matter at hand…
Jacob.
I've been nothing short of naïve up to this point, but I'd be downright idiotic to believe Jacob will be agreeable to surrendering this 'arrangement' he has with Jasper without some resistance. I'm also sure Jacob doesn't like to lose, or at least he's not used to losing. In fact, if the look of death he bestowed on me when I left the bar is any indication, I'm going to have a war on my hands.
Meeting Jacob had been an eye-opener. It'd been like getting punched in the balls – five different times…consecutively. And it's still sore. He's perfect: exotic and enticing. I have no doubt, from his moves on the dance floor, that he'd match Jasper in passion and intensity in the bedroom.
I don't know how to compete with that.
But regardless, for whatever reason, there is no denying Jasper has some type of feelings for me, and they trumped Jacob's influence…at least that night they did. It has to mean something that Jasper left his longtime lover, in the middle of God knows what, to break up what Seth and I had started.
Looking back now, I firmly believe that if I'd spoken up when Jacob first interfered, I could have prevented their short rendezvous from occurring in the first place.
Everything's so much clearer in hindsight. The look in Jasper's eyes had all but begged me to stop him from taking Jacob to the back, but I'd been clueless. I'd thought he sought permission from me, when he'd really been looking for me to finally spit out the truth about how I felt about him, to show him in some way…and I failed him. He'd had no choice but to go along with his original plan; I don't blame him for that.
I can't, when I'd basically driven him into Jacob's arms. At least that's what he'd said…
"But I can Edward, since you are very much the reason I'm in the state I'm in."
God, he does want me. Although I don't understand why, I won't question my good fortune.
Seth said Jacob and Jasper don't have a claim on each other, but what does that mean? What exactly do they have? And how hard will it be to break?
Or bend?
Realistically, I only have Jasper for a short time, so it isn't fair for me to expect him to break it off with Jacob. The thought of Jasper touching him…kissing him after I left, being with anyone but me for that matter…
God I can't even dwell on that now, or acknowledge how much pain the mere thought leaves me in.
It's too late to back out of this now. I'm all in, and now I have to let the cards fall where they may. It scares me to think that Jasper may be it for me. I'd had a friendly, gorgeous man who knew how to kiss expertly wanting me…he even said as much. Although I'm fond of Seth's many charming attributes, my feelings couldn't scratch the surface of how much I feel for Jasper.
I'm still debating if I should even broach the subject of Jacob with him. The last thing I need is for him to become more defensive then he already is, but I'm not sure I can avoid the topic. Jacob will inevitably be the handsome, sexy, precarious pink elephant following me around until I get some answers.
If Jasper and I become more intimate, which I fervently hope we do, I'm not sure I'd be able to share him with Jacob. Actually, I know I won't. I don't think Jasper would do that, but I need to know he won't. I'll need to hear the promise come from his sweet lips.
So, I'd been more than grateful to have the extra time to sort through all of my thoughts.
By the second day, there still hadn't been any sign of Jasper. I'd conceded this day to him, too, due to the discomfort I still happened to be in. My shoulder blade has a small scrape on it from rubbing up against the tree I'd been leaning on that night.
Jasper had taken careful measures to support me, minimizing the friction; most often his hand had been wedged between me and the tree. When that didn't happen to be the case, he'd attempted to hold my hips still. However, toward the end…while in the midst of finding his own fulfillment, his erratic thrusts proved to be too much and the raw spot on my back is the result.
A small price to pay, but nonetheless the burn was there and I don't want Jasper to feel guilty about it, since the tender area continues to cause me grief every time something rubs against it.
That hadn't been my only pain point yesterday. I also couldn't stop scratching my nuts after I'd shaved 'down there' for the first time ever. After seeing Jasper's manscaping efforts, I didn't want him to see the state of my groin area. It's not as if it's untamed or anything, I'd trimmed…somewhat…on occasion, but had never shaved it smooth before.
To be honest, I'd never really thought much about grooming that particular area, and Bella had never mentioned that she'd like me to try anything different. However, seeing that patch of Jasper's bald flesh inspired me to try the same. Apparently, I'd done something wrong along the way.
Maybe I should've trimmed the hair before I'd taken a razor to it. Maybe I didn't use an adequate amount of soap…maybe I used the wrong kind. Maybe I should've used a new razor…I just don't know. I've mulled over the numerous possibilities, but it's really anyone's guess.
All I know is, I spent the whole day with my hand down my pants, succumbing to the merciless itch.
I even relented this afternoon, in hopes that the unbecoming red bumps that accompanied the itching might disappear…but now - razor burn be damned. I'm sick and tired of waiting for him to come around.
I'm more than hurt.
After what transpired between us, I still can't fathom why he still insists on avoiding me. Yet, again and again, he continues to evade me. I swear, I've never met anyone so obstinate – well, except for me. Lucky him.
I've emailed Alice almost every day since our phone call, and our relationship is definitely on the mend. I'd love to tell her what's going on…tell her that I think I'm in love. Then, I could request some sound advice. No matter how lost I am in dealing with this situation, or how desperate I am for help, I still can't justify telling her I'm gay over the phone.
The only thing I can really celebrate is that the boat has remained docked the last two nights, meaning Jasper hasn't been back to Sinner's Island without me.
If he doesn't show up for dinner tonight, I'll be heading over to his cabin bright and early tomorrow. I've avoided doing so in the past, considering it unfair to accost him in his personal sanctuary, when I know I wouldn't welcome unwanted visitors and advances in my own apartment.
But I'm desperate. Time is of the essence.
How can I make him understand this?
XXXXX
I stand outside my room, ensuring that it's locked; honoring Rosalie's request to do so when other guests are at the inn. I head downstairs for supper, but before I even reach the steps, I stop, getting an odd feeling…like I'm forgetting something. I can't think of what it could be, so I walk down a couple of steps and the feeling intensifies. Wavering in the stairwell, I try to recall what I can possibly be missing.
I'd plugged my laptop and phone in…
I'd turned off the lights in the bathroom and the bedroom…
I'd shut the window, even making sure it locked.
I tap the back of my jean pocket…wallet's there.
I quickly glance down - all pieces of clothing are accounted for, and are on in the correct order.
But I still can't shake this feeling. Confused, my eyes wander while my mind works. They stray down the hall when I hear a strange noise coming from Irina and Jane's room, which is weird because all of the rooms are supposedly soundproof.
I can't stop myself from moving closer, wondering what could be so loud that it's penetrating the heavy door and thick walls. Standing directly in front of their door, I listen. It sounds like a wind…a howling wind…?
Maybe a hairdryer? The TV?
Then it suddenly stops – a bang - and then a copious amount of giggling.
The bang startles me, so with a sharp gasp, I back away abruptly, stumbling over my own feet, and crashing into the door across from their room. Feeling like a total moron for tripping over my own feet, I naturally look around to see if anyone's witnessed my clumsiness, but the hallway is very well lit and perfectly solitary.
I don't linger.
I scurry down the stairs taking two, sometimes three, steps at a time. When I reach the lower level, I hesitate for a moment, catching my breath before I enter the dining room.
What the fuck is with those two? Holy moly.
I have to remember to ask Rosalie how much longer they're staying.
Irina and Jane are definitely different. It's like you're in a Twilight Zone episode around them.
Rosalie advised me that you have to get to know them to appreciate their uniqueness. Apparently, they're veterans to the inn. The twins were one of Rosalie's first visitors, and they continue to spend time here every year.
She thinks both of them are attracted to Jasper. Join the club.
From what she states, the two of them get all starry-eyed when he's around, but as far as she knows neither of them has ever made a move on him. She'd snorted and said she'd like to see them try. She seemed to realize the slip, becoming pretty close-lipped after that.
That's the closest she's come to telling me that Jasper is gay.
Finding a seat next to Emmett still open, I expel a huge sigh of relief. At least I won't be sandwiched between the two of them, like last evening.
Emmett chuckles knowing exactly where my thoughts are. I barely make it into my chair before the girls float into the room behind me.
"Yah, Edward's here!" Irina says happily, clapping her hands.
Jane pins me with her eyes…as usual.
Yellow eyes.
Jesus. It still arrests me every time I see them. I'd thought it'd been a figment perpetrated by the flames of the bonfire that night, but it'd been no illusion. The color couldn't be described as anything but a pale, yet vivid, yellow.
Irina is the exuberant one. She's amiable, content on spreading good cheer. It's Jane that unnerves me the most. When she peers at me with those eyes, alarm surges through me. She's quiet, always dissecting me, and when those piercing eyes are fixed on me they won't be deterred. She stares beyond my obvious discomfort and anxiousness. It's like she's prying open my soul, for the sole purpose of scavenging through my secrets and flaws.
I've often wondered, these last few days if the girls had seen Jasper and I in the backyard. They've taken such an avid interest in me since then. But it's impossible. They'd have no reason to be wandering in the backyard that late at night, and their room faces the front of the house, so they couldn't have possibly seen or heard us.
It just doesn't make sense. It has to be something else.
"Oh my God Edward, you should have come with us to the Thompson's dairy farm today. We learned how to milk cows. Mr. Beasley says I'm a natural with the teats." Irina winks.
My eyes flare. I glimpse at Rosalie, who's rolling her eyes behind the girls, and then at Emmett, who's trying really hard not to laugh out loud.
I'm positive neither of these girls are into me. When I'd expressed concern over their intentions yesterday, Emmett had told me that he'd overheard them say that I was 'a cutie', but way too thin for their liking. I didn't take their comments personally.
I'd lost fifteen pounds, on my already slim frame, since Bella had asked for the divorce, and I was well aware of how my clothes hang where they hadn't before.
Flirting is just in Irina's nature.
"Oh, well…that's nice." Clearing my throat awkwardly, I make an effort to change the subject. "Rosalie, this smells fantastic." Everyone's attention redirects to the center of the table.
There lies a monumental pot roast, smothered in a dark gravy, that I can guarantee tastes as phenomenal as it smells, along with freshly baked drop biscuits that are still steaming in the basket.
I lick my lips in anticipation.
I'm becoming like Emmett; excited the minute I hear the clank of the silver being set on the table, near ravenous by the time the aromas permeate from the kitchen, and getting tunnel vision when the food is finally placed on the table.
Rosalie is making sure I gain those fifteen pounds back – and then some.
For the next half hour, I hear conversation going on around me, and I smile and grunt when required, but mainly focus on the delectable meal.
It isn't until I'm in the middle of my second helping that my attention is finally diverted.
"We saw Jasper in town today," Jane tells the table.
And that's all it takes for the meal to become a distant memory.
"He was picking up some supplies at the hardware store. He's such a handsome boy," Irina adds.
Boy? Irina has to be at least five years younger than Jasper.
"Mmhm," Jane agrees, peeking at me before her eyes fall back to her half eaten meal.
"Oh yeah…he stopped by the shop today. Said Buckley needed a repair on the door of his store," Emmett pipes in. "You should go by and check on him Rosie. He didn't look so good. I told him as much, but he said he's fine…just needed to sleep it off."
Has Jasper been ill?
I'd most assuredly lost my appetite after that.
"That boy doesn't get sick. The last time I remember my brother sick he'd puked all over the nurse at school in fifth grade." She appears thoughtful for a moment. "I'll have to run over there later with some of the soup leftover from lunch. I'll check him out for myself."
"I'd be happy to go by there after dinner to drop it off, and see if he's doing okay," I blurt. My face flames when I get the feeling everyone at the table absolutely knows I have an ulterior motive for seeking Jasper out.
I'm fervently hoping yesterday's outing to pick strawberries, with the absence of sunscreen, conceals the telling blush.
Jane angles her head, her yellow eyes probing me intently. "I hear that chicken soup can cure even the most conflicted soul," she muses.
"It's an excellent idea, Edward," Irina agrees.
Rosalie's brow is crunched in confusion, and Emmett can't even contain the smile anymore, a big goofy grin spreading across his face…but me…
I study them…
Without reservation.
Again, what do they know? And how?
It seems as though my telepathy skills aren't as advanced as Jane's, because I get nothing from either of them. I can only hope that if they do know something they'll keep it to themselves.
I'm not ready to explain to Rosalie the nature of my relationship with her brother. If this becomes any more transparent, I may have to make a special trip home for a weekend to speak with Alice…or better yet, she can fly here and meet Jasper herself.
But before I can plan that I'll have to figure out exactly what the nature of my relationship with Jasper is.
XXXXX
Standing at Jasper's front door is intimidating. I shift uncomfortably, second guessing the validity of my excuse for being here…for invading his home and privacy. I'm nervous as hell that he'll be furious when he sees me lurking on the other side of his door.
Instead of knocking, my eyes scope the vicinity.
His cabin is an extension of the inn's backyard. The stone pathway leading to his place could barely be seen, littered with leaves and twigs. Large weeping willows and giant oak trees shroud the property, surrounding the secluded bungalow, shading it in that familiar darkness. The only vibrant hues are that of the purple and yellow colors of the faded LSU tiger flag that flaps angrily from the front porch.
The unkempt appearance of the yard only serves to magnify the beauty that is his home. The cottage is in magnificent shape, simple and homey, but with a mysterious appeal. It looks like a one-story, with the probability of a loft, judging by the highest of the three front windows.
His truck is parked next to a small, dilapidated shed and even further down, inconspicuous from the inn, is a larger barn where I'm guessing Jasper does all his work. The barn doors are closed with a heavy lock to protect the valuable commodities located inside.
My eyes fall back on the daunting front door, and I raise my hand to knock, but I can't seem to do it.
What if he's not alone?
Just because I've never seen him bring anyone here, doesn't mean he doesn't. Seth says Jasper is only with Jacob on the island, but what if their deal didn't extend to the mainland? Maybe Jasper has arrangements with other men in town.
I'm carrying soup, biscuits and pie…care of Rosalie, and I promised her I'd deliver them to him. I can't chicken out now.
So knock already.
I swallow past my uncertainties and trepidation and do as my inner voice bids me. I rap on the front door three times in quick succession, and, after several long, tumultuous seconds, I hear the sound of footsteps approaching from the opposite side of the door.
Knowing that I'm just moments away from seeing Jasper, my mind fills with images from our last meeting and my dick reacts instantly, setting off another wave of itchiness.
Dammit. This is not happening right now.
I'm trying to juggle everything in my hands while attempting to relieve the annoying itch with my elbow.
The door swings open as I'm bent down in a pretty awkward position.
"Edward?" He seems surprised, but not unpleasantly so.
I try really hard not to look past him into his home, but my curiosity is almost painful in its intensity to see how the man lives. I gawk at him instead, not taking any precautions to mask my craving for him.
He looks tired, unshaven, rumpled, and sexy as hell.
He's wearing a simple white t-shirt with light gray lounge pants, looking utterly delicious.
"Hey…Jasper," I greet cautiously, trying to gage his disposition. "Emmett told Rosalie that you might not be feeling well, and she just wanted to bring you some soup…and-and stuff," I finish lamely, pushing an arm full of Tupperware at him.
He purses his lips before he complains, "That big oaf. I told him I was fine."
He studies the contents. "So why are you here, instead of Rose?" he asks quietly, keeping his eyes on the treats.
"Well, I offered because I hadn't seen you since…and…," I trail off, when his bright blue eyes dart to mine, hot and achy. Under his intense gaze, the words I'd practiced earlier fail me.
"Jasper, can I please talk to you?"
"Edward…" He's already shaking his head, and it's apparent that I don't need to know what I'm doing to know exactly where this is going.
"Please. Just five minutes," I plead.
He shocks me when he scrambles aside and motions for me to come in.
His cabin is stunning. True to cabin form the logs are visible from the inside. Hardwood floors and a large fireplace add to the relaxed ambience. His furniture is impeccable of course, since he most likely built it all himself, and it's clean. A complete wall is dedicated to hundreds of books, and I rein in the impulse to run over to read all of the titles, excited that he shares one of my favorite pastimes.
My eyes shift to the loft upstairs, where a simple wood railing hides where I'm assuming his bed is located.
A blast of longing shoots through me, causing me to rub my open palm against my chest in an effort to relieve the twinge.
"You have a beautiful home," I announce, taking one last look up the stairs, making it my goal to see it one day…sleep in it one day. I glance back at Jasper, to find him staring at me.
"Thank you." He smiles, but it's not a real one.
His expression reflects his own self-induced yearning, and I can't comprehend why he continues to deny us both.
We stare at each other for a long moment. He's probably waiting for me to tell him why I invited myself into his home, and a stitch of guilt invades my already tattered emotions.
I swallow that particular feeling down, determined not to allow one more thing to discourage me from my course.
The house is filled with cream and navy accents, and I recognize the talent immediately. It gives me a reason to prolong my stay, and additional time to gather the necessary courage to say what I'd come for.
"Rosalie must have decorated?" I deduce.
I hear a heavy sigh, but I don't look his way, not wanting to openly acknowledge his frustration.
"Yeah…I think she thought if I'd done it my way, it'd be full of purple and gold." I turn back just in time to catch him checking out my backside.
"Gold? LSU colors are purple and yellow…not gold."
"It is so gold," he argues, adorably, his blue eyes sparking with serious offense. I should have known better than to tease him about something he loves so much.
His defiant tone makes me smile, and eventually, it causes him to smile in return. I think I even hear him chuckle.
We gaze fixedly at each other from across the room, until the heat of my gaze proves too much for him, and he looks down at his socked feet.
"Jasper…," I whisper. His head flicks up – those eyes flashing - begging…for something.
"Edward, I can't…," he interrupts, but I won't make it that easy for him.
"I thought that we had a mutually good time the other night. Am I wrong?" Challenging him to lie.
"No, it was…it was…" His eyes glaze over, and he shakes his head, clearing it of his previous thought before he begins again. "I never intended to let it get that far."
I step closer, unwilling to accept that. "You felt something…didn't you? Tell me you don't care about me at all - I'll go and I won't come back." I strive for strength, but my voice breaks, knowing it will destroy me if he says he doesn't.
"It's not that simple Edward. I did…I do…it's…I'm…fuck, I'm not any good with words…"
I wait helplessly for him to continue.
Seconds tick away, as I fight back tears.
When he finally speaks it seems so loud that it startles me, but in actuality his voice is barely above a whisper. "What I'm meanin' to say is that I'm…It's just…I'm not lookin' for a relationship." He huffs, dragging his hands through his hair in exasperation.
I'll take whatever I can get, so if pretending indifference is the key, then I'll do it. Jasper is clearly not ready to hear how much I care, to know all that I feel for him.
"Well, that's good Jasper, because I'm only here for six more weeks."
His cringe probably means that wasn't what he'd wanted to hear.
"I don't think it would be a really good idea," he says, confirming my theory.
Does he want me to crawl?
I remember my earlier question. "You never answered my question. Do – you – like - me?"
"Yes," he hisses – steadfastly - no hesitation.
I take another step closer.
"I like you too. It doesn't have to be like this. Jasper, I just want to get to know you, hang out, and have a good time...umm…like we did the other day. Why can't we just enjoy my remaining time here together without putting a label on it?"
I'm breaking down his walls. I can see the difference in his posture.
His stance is still defensive, and his jaw still set, but there's a softening in his eyes that's unmistakable.
"Just give this a chance. If this gets too serious or heavy for either one of us, we'll break it off." It's an atrocious lie, but I want this so badly I'm able to give it without even the slightest flinch. "I don't want to give this up quite yet."
While I plead my case, I've edged toward him so now I stand close enough to touch him, and not doing so is torture.
I've waited three long days for this.
I brush my hand across his cheekbone, and he flinches, but doesn't pull away. I may be making a grave miscalculation but I take it as a good sign. I lean in…just a whisper away from kissing him, but I've exhausted my reserve of bravado for the evening.
Well most of it…
"Go with me to the movies tomorrow."
Jasper seems a little disappointed, and I wonder if it's because I basically just asked him out on a date, or because I didn't kiss him like he probably thought I was going to.
"What're they playin'?"
Yes!
"Does it matter?" I counter, with a playful wink.
Slowly, his face forms the most breathtaking smile, and his blue eyes dance.
"No, I guess it doesn't."
Satisfied with what I've accomplished, I back toward the door. He watches with ill-concealed disappointment while I retreat, and I'm scarcely able to stem the urge to jump into his arms, to beg him to take me up those stairs.
But it wouldn't be wise to try that.
Because he probably would, and then he'd hop on the next boat with Jacob and I'd never see him again.
"I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yeah, I'll meet you up at the inn."
"It's a date then."
"Edward," he growls. "We cannot be datin'." But there's a smile on his face, and he looks genuinely happy.
I bask in it for a moment before I turn to reach for the door.
"Whatever you say," I singsong.
My huge smile deflates while I trudge through the woods, back to the inn.
I'm afraid. There's no disputing it.
If I'm not already head over heels in love with the man, it'll just be a matter of time before I am. I may be sorry I didn't walk away from Jasper when he turned me down the first time. It's going to hurt like hell when I have to leave him.
I stop at "our" tree and run my fingertips over the bark. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the most vivid recollections assault me. It's a birds-eye view of Jasper and I – here – two nights ago.
The vision is amazing; it's a view I'd never summoned before…the precision, the arrangement…the cognizance…the explicitness. As many times as I'd replayed the scene in my head, I'd never encountered such a transcendent visualization.
And it's not just images.
I can actually feel his hands all over me again, taste his skin on the tip of my tongue. I hear his sultry moans, vibrating seduction against my ear. I feel the pleasurable pain that had bloomed deep within my core when I tumbled from ecstasy in his arms.
I'm achingly hard, the shudders from a previous orgasm rip through my body in perfect clarity.
My hand slips from the tree and the images and sensations fade away.
Holy shit. I stand trembling, attempting to gather my bearings.
My imagination has no limits lately.
On my way up the stairs to the inn, I look back at the tree one last time.
None of the doubts or reservations matter; I won't give up this opportunity with Jasper for anything.
XXXXX
Stay Still by Edward M. Cullen (cont'd)
"Our first real clue boss." James' relief is profound, handing Jeremy the sealed envelope delivered from the lab just moments ago.
Jeremy hadn't released this latest development to the press, in hopes of catching the killer off guard.
The two of them had combed the latest crime scene for hours when James had finally stumbled upon their very first piece of real evidence.
The victim had been a troubled local girl, who'd attended the local high school. She was one of Tony's students. Her parents had divorced last year, and so her grades had taken a nosedive, when she'd began taking drugs and hanging out with the wrong crowd.
Her school bus pass had been found in a nearby dumpster, scheduled to be emptied the next morning.
Jeremy is sure that the killer hadn't meant for it to be found.
Jeremy analyzed the evidence himself, finding a couple of different prints that he hoped would be clear enough to identify the killer. He'd sent the valuable clue out to Indianapolis to be examined further.
Jeremy prayed fervently that something positive would come from this. The town is devastated and they're demanding answers.
Although he hadn't expressed them openly, even James is beginning to have his doubts about Jeremy's capabilities.
While Jeremy tore into the envelope, he and James share a look of utter desperation.
XXXXX
For not being a date, Jasper sure did put some effort into his appearance tonight. I'm struggling not to eye-fuck him while his sister and her husband are in the same room, but I'm finding it extremely difficult.
Thankfully, I'd jerked off not too long ago, so my dick is behaving…for now. I'd visualized Jasper and I sprawled out in front of his fireplace, lying on a mass of pillows…naked and busy. It hadn't taken but a few minutes for me to unload after imagining Jasper lying on his back, the soft glow of the firelight dancing along his ravishingly, nude figure while I licked every inch of him.
But he looks so good right now.
His hair styled in perfect waves, barely brushing against his freshly shaven jaw. He's wearing a black polo type, golf shirt, with thin red horizontal stripes. I've never seen Jasper in anything but jeans, but tonight…for me, he's wearing black khaki pants.
He's so incredibly, smoking hot.
When I'd chosen my darkest blue jeans, and a navy blue t-shirt for the evening I purposefully went more casual, scared that he'd read too much into it if I dressed up.
I actually prefer him wearing his normal attire, especially his butt-hugging denim, but the fact that he went to these lengths when we'd just intended on sitting in his truck makes me feel special.
This is so a date. How can he say it's not?
"You're here too early to be headin' off to the show. Were you plannin' on joinin' us for supper?" Rosalie is speaking to Jasper, but her eyes flicker between us, a weird expression on her face.
That's when it occurs to me I should probably wipe the huge grin off my face.
The last thing I want is for Rosalie to believe that this is actually a date – which it is. But she doesn't need to know that.
Jasper clears his throat and it seems like he's about to run his fingers through his hair, but changes his mind.
His hand drops back to his side, punctuated by a light slap against his thigh.
"Well, Edward hasn't been out for supper much, so I thought maybe we'd go by Jimmy's place for pizza and beer. If he's willin' to give up your cookin' for a night, that is." He adds softly, glancing at me.
I'm mesmerized by the soft pink tingeing his cheekbones, dazzled by the shine in his blue eyes.
Our eyes lock, neither of us able to look away.
I slog through the stupor, reaching for some cognizance, after I realize they're waiting for a response from me.
"Yeah, that sounds good...um I'm going to grab my wallet - I'll be right back." I attempt casualness, but contradict myself by racing up the stairs to my room.
I already have my wallet, but I need a minute to get my shit straight. If I continue to swoon every time I'm in Jasper's presence, I'll out myself to everyone before I'm ready.
I shut the door, leaning back against it. I squeeze my eyes shut and pray I can keep it together until we're alone.
The gigantic smile I'd just managed to suppress reappears when I take all this in. I think about how far I've come since I've been here…how my life has changed in so many ways.
My first date with a man.
My first date with Jasper.
Oh my God, what am I doing in here when he's downstairs looking so edible…for me?
I wait not a second longer for the date to begin. I rush to the closet, grab a dark gray pull over, whipping it over my head while I fly out the door.
Jasper stands at the base of the stairs with his hands in his pockets. His attention is focused on Rosalie, with Emmett sitting not too far off. She's whispering, while they all bear somber expressions.
One of the stairs creak and they all glance up, pasting fake smiles on their faces.
"You ready?" He asks.
I just nod, worried that Rosalie has caused Jasper to second guess agreeing to go out with me. He already carries enough doubt about us without having others pile on more.
I can only contend with so much.
My cause for concern dies quickly when we step outside and I see his shiny, newly cleaned truck gleaming from the late afternoon sun. I hadn't seen the truck washed once since I'd been here.
Not a date? Who is he kidding?
I look back at Jasper with a mischievous smirk. He blushes, "What?"
I just shrug, my smirk growing.
His blush deepens to an adorable crimson.
How am I going to keep my hands off him?
While we drive into town, Jasper seems deep in thought. I don't want him dwelling on anything Rosalie might have said, or any other uncertainties he may be contemplating. I drag my hand across the cab and cover the one he has resting on his thigh. He jumps slightly from the contact, and I wonder if he even remembers that I'm in the truck with him.
"A penny for your thoughts," I murmur.
He watches my thumb skim over his knuckles, exhaling one long, shaky breath. "I was just thinkin' that I haven't been to the drive-in in ages."
"I'm so happy you said you'd come with me."
He flips his hand over and interlaces our fingers, gripping firmly.
"Me too," he confesses, huskily.
XXXXX
The restaurant is crammed with the dinner rush in full mode.
The pizza is tasty, but not the same caliber of the Chicago-style pies I'm used to back home, however, the quality of the company more than makes up for any deficiency in the food.
Whatever had been bothering Jasper earlier is a non-existent issue now. He's brimming with charm and lightheartedness. Conversation flows seamlessly while we veer from topic to topic. It amazes me, repeatedly, the more I learn about him, how much we have in common, and how right this feels to be here with him.
And I love his little quirks.
I adore the way he ducks his head, with a sideways smile when he becomes shy after I give him a compliment. The way he absentmindedly swirls the straw in his drink as he talks.
I love the way his eyes flare in annoyance when we argue over the Big Ten versus SEC divisions, and when his eyes dance with joy when he teases me or is telling a joke.
Even though it's caused me grief, I also admire his stubbornness, and determination.
And I especially love that he asks me as many questions as I ask him, and always focuses on me completely when I answer. He's interested in what I have to say; he wants to get to know me better too.
He's truly a beautiful person inside and out.
This evening just solidifies my previous fear that I've already fallen in love with the man.
I wish I could ask if Jacob's aware that we're here together, but I don't want to ruin our first date by bringing up that particular topic just yet. I know he'll have to be dealt with sooner rather than later…just not tonight.
But I had to ask…
"So does Rosalie know that you…" I leave it open, because the tables sit close together and I don't want our neighbors to hear anything Jasper doesn't want them to.
His face registers surprise. "Yeah, of course she does. I don't hide myself from anyone, Edward…especially my sister." His tone is terse. He's offended and I'm clueless, but then I recall Alec's failure to come out, and how hurt Jasper had been by that.
How stupid of me to forget such an important detail.
"Does she think me and you are…you know…"
"On a date?" He grins, wickedly.
Unconsciously, my eyes quickly scan the others around us to see if they'd heard Jasper's question. Convinced that they seem to be involved in their own discussions my eyes fall back on Jasper, who's in the midst of answering his own question.
"No, she doesn't," he answers. "Because for one, this isn't a date, and two, she thinks you're as straight as an arrow. It's not my place to tell her any different." He becomes serious then, watching me so keenly that I find myself fiddling nervously with the napkin in my lap.
"We should get going, the movie's going to start soon," I say, and for the first time tonight I'm not able to maintain eye contact. It's an obvious deflection…and from Jasper's expression…he doesn't miss it.
He chuckles wryly, an odd look on his face, one that I don't feel completely comfortable with. He removes the napkin from his lap, before tossing it on the table.
"Yeah, we wouldn't want to miss the beginning of 'Pretty Woman'. I've been told that if you miss the first five minutes you'll be lost the rest of the film," he states, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
Once we shimmy out of the booth, I punch him lightly in the arm. "Whatever, smart ass."
He snickers, and the joviality is restored.
XXXXX
The drive-in is one of Bon Terre's favorite sources of entertainment for its residents. Young and old alike gather outside their vehicles, in various clusters around the grassy parking lot, to mix and mingle before the film begins.
It's a perfect night to be here. The sky is clear; the weather is warm.
Jasper and I meander to the concession stand to buy a couple Pepsi's and the customary tub of popcorn. As we walk back, several people engage Jasper in small talk. I stand quietly from a safe distance, observing him while he communicates with the townsfolk.
I've learned from Rosalie and Emmett that Jasper's well-respected in the community, but to actually see it…I feel such pride, standing by his side…able to say that I know him…that I'm here with him.
If everyone knows about his orientation, they certainly don't hold it against him. Their blasé attitude causes me to wonder how my employer would accept the news of my sexual preference should they happen to find out. Somehow, I don't think I'd receive the same reception from Principal Meyer and the few teachers that I'm acquainted with that I've witnessed here.
Walking back to the truck, my fingers itch to latch onto his. I've had several urges tonight to hold his hand, lean across the table and kiss him, or just…God…touch him in some way. I need to make sure he's real, that I'm not imagining his beauty. I've never been an affectionate guy, and I normally don't participate in public displays, but I want to claim Jasper; I want everyone to know he's mine.
But he's not mine, nor will he ever be.
Jasper hasn't attempted to touch me either, and for that I'm grateful. I'm almost sure he's waiting for me to make a move. Now that it's dark outside and we're alone in the truck, there's nothing to hold me back.
My heart is beating out of my chest, but I wait until were settled in. The movie has started, and I'm stealing glances at Jasper. His eyes are fixed on the movie, but his jaw is taut and his hands are folded together in his lap…tightly, by the looks of his white knuckles that can be seen clearly from across the cab.
Richard Gere saunters on the screen, wearing his designer business suit…looking all hot…
Wait…what?
Jesus Christ. I've come unleashed.
The movie's about fifteen minutes in when I decide that I can no longer take any more.
I need him.
I edge closer, and the seat squeaks, killing my attempt at stealth, which is proven more so when I see Jasper's smirk. After that failed endeavor, I drop the finesse act, scooting over noisily until I'm sitting in the center of the cab.
When I glimpse at Jasper, his smirk has disappeared, and he doesn't take his eyes off the screen, even though he couldn't care less about the movie.
I lay my hand over his, prying his fingers apart slowly. When I finally free the death grip, I pull one of his hands over into my lap. I study it, watching while I trace my fingers over every knuckle and vein.
It's been too long. Four whole days since I've last tasted him.
I flip his hand over, and bring it to my mouth, brushing my lips over his open palm. My tongue peeks out, flicking the pulse point on his wrist.
I'm not sure how Jasper's reacting to my simple touch, so I peek up to catch his heated gaze on me.
"God…Edward…tell me what you want from me. Please," he begs, his voice hoarse with need.
And I want him…more than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life…more than anything I'll ever want in my entire life.
I lean in for a kiss, and he more than meets me halfway. Our lips clash, and our tongues quickly become urgent. The kiss is lusty and erotic, and it makes my body roil in desire and anticipation, but I pull away, because I need to say the words.
"I want you Jasper…so much. I've wanted - "
Hungrily, his lips attack mine. It's masterfully chaotic – his skilled lips devour - pushing, pulling, opening and closing, scorching hot and wet. The man knows how to lay one on you.
He tugs on a lever that sets the seat back even further. Pushing me until I have no alternative but to retreat back to my side of the cab, he takes my place in the middle. I scarcely give him the opportunity to stretch out his legs before I straddle him.
His face automatically tilts up for another kiss, and my hands weave in his hair, drawing his locks away from his gorgeous face. His blues eyes are sharp and intense, his luscious lips already pouting from our ardent kisses. Gripping my waist, he pulls me roughly against him, causing my boner to press up against his stomach.
He cups my buttocks, squeezing to the point of delicious pain. His fingertips trace the seam down the middle of my jeans, the vertical stitch in-between my back pockets. I lose it, imagining what it'd feel like had I been naked, and his fingers were trailing along the crack in my ass.
My body has a mind of its own, moving in ways I didn't even know I was capable of. I undulate against his cock, a sinuous dance that produces the friction I desire. I give and take, pounding into his cock, desperately seeking our mutual fulfillment.
"Fuck," he grates out. "Slow down."
I'm confused, not knowing what I've done wrong. "Don't you want me?"
"What?" He hisses. He grabs my hand and places it between us, directly on his hard cock. "Fuckin' hell, does it feel like I want you?"
He lets go of my hand, but I keep it there, squeezing and massaging his prominent bulge. He moans, lifting his hips up into my palm.
"This is all I think about," he wheezes.
Feeling bold from his response to my touch, I lean forward, a hairsbreadth away from his sexy mouth while jerking his cock the best I can through his pants. "Tell me…what is it that you think about?"
He moans, arching up into my eager palm. "I imagine kissin' you, lickin' you…everywhere…touchin' you…"
I tsk. "You can do better than that," I chastise, playfully. "What gets you off? What makes you cum?"
His groan is heartfelt and needy. His hips begin moving, humping my hand in small, liquid thrusts.
"I get off picturin' me suckin' your cock, while you ride my fingers. And if its one of those nights that I'm missin' ya like mad, I imagine you bouncin' on my dick, while watchin' you jack yourself off."
"Jesus. Yes," I whimper.
I'm going to explode.
"That's all it takes darlin'. Y'know why? 'Cause you're so fucking hot with one hand strokin' your dick, and the other tangled in that fuckin' hair that feels like goddamn silk. Your sweet mouth is open, and your breathin'…it's real heavy, but you're so fuckin' blissed out that you can't form a goddamn thought. I'm makin' you feel that good, and it's drivin' us both crazy, 'cause your squeezing my dick with your beautiful ass, and makin' those sweet sounds like you did underneath that tree and the stars that night, dammit…"
"I want that Jas. I want it so bad. Please." This isn't the right time or place, but it doesn't stop me from begging him for it.
My mouth clasps onto his neck, while he does the same. I locate a spot low enough that it won't be easily seen and suck hard, hoping I've managed to leave him with a little souvenir.
Frustrated by the lack of contact, I grind against him needing to feel more pressure on my dick, but it's just not enough anymore. I lean back, grappling with his belt buckle. At the same time, his hands have found the edge of my shirt, and he dips underneath, immediately rendering me useless, while he roams the expanse of my chest…scratching and pinching.
My head lolls back momentarily, as I yield to the exhilaration of having his hands on my naked skin again. His fingers trace my stomach, then descend to the button of my jeans, joining me in the battle to free our straining erections.
I'm done before him, and I get the first look and feel of a penis in my hand, other than that of my own. As expected, Jasper's dick is magnificent. It's dark in the cab, but not so much that I can't see his perfection.
Eager to learn what Jasper likes, I raise my hand to my mouth and spit. Jasper stops me, reaching behind me into the glove box to extract a small bottle of lube. I try really hard not to think about how many other guys he's done this with or wonder how often he uses this little bottle of lube he keeps tucked away in his truck so conveniently. Unfortunately, being the novice I am, I'm no good with jealousy, and it eats away a little of my momentum.
He pours the slick substance onto his fingers, then glances up. I smile quickly, not wanting to reveal exactly how much my sour thought is affecting me.
"I just put it in there this mornin', darlin'," he explains, seeing straight through my guise.
Pecking my lips, he gives me a meaningful look, then goes back to task.
How does he know me so well already?
He lays the vial next to us, rubs his hands together, and takes each of our cocks in a different hand, greasing them up.
We moan simultaneously.
Eyes closed, his head falls back on the seat. "Jesus…Edward…" His eyes open, and he stares – a sharp glint of blue, indicating irritation. "I told you that this is all I've been thinking about. I meant it. You're all I've been wantin', since the day you walked into the dining room."
Don't forget about Jacob.
Not. Now.
"Kiss me, darlin'," he demands.
And I do - for all I'm worth.
I must be doing a damn good job too, because a couple of times he forgets that he's jacking us off, getting too involved in the kissing. I remind him by bucking up into his idle fist, which effectively kick-starts him to remobilize.
Once we've been lubed sufficiently, I knock the hand away from his shaft, replacing it with my own. The feel of his smooth cock throbbing in my hand is sensational, and in no time I match his pace. It doesn't take long for our breathing to become choppy as we near our climaxes.
"Take off your shirt," he says through clenched teeth.
I whine, not wanting to release his dick, when I know he has to be close.
"I'm gonna cum, darlin', and I need to see it all over you."
Well why didn't he just say so?
I struggle to remove my pullover with the low ceiling, so Jasper helps. Once it's been hurled to the floor, I don't take my t-shirt off, but merely pull the hem over my head, like I'd seen some of the men at Sinner's Island do while they dance. I thought it looked sexy, and I tend to believe Jasper agrees, since a growl rises deep from his chest.
My nipples harden under Jasper's gaze, and I lean up on my knees to accommodate his unspoken request. He immediately sucks one of my nubs into his mouth, causing me to cry out from the newest sensation. Ten fingers find purchase in his hair, while he lavishes each of my nipples with love and attention.
I yank on his shirt with a low mewl, not able to put two words together to express my need.
But we're on the same page. His shirt is literally ripped in his haste to remove it, flinging it carelessly to the side. I try to grasp Jasper's dick, but he blocks me, spreading his hand across my chest, to push me back.
"No…stay like that," he commands, circling a hand around my aching cock.
"What happened to your hair, Edward? I happened to like those curls."
My belly does a cartwheel. "Ah, God…" I moan.
I rest my hands on the balls of my feet, stretching my torso out in front him. His eyes rake over me, his hand stroking in fluid, mesmerizing thrusts. It's not long before I'm fucking his hand, pushing my hips up into his fist. My balls are buzzing; it's just a matter of moments before I have to let go.
"You haven't answered my question. Are you gonna grow it back for me?" He asks, tightly.
How can he even form words right now?
"Y-yyes!" I cry out.
Jasper knows I'm close too. I can feel his hand brush against my leg, pumping his own cock, furiously, and I hear the recognizable sounds of well-lubed masturbation. Except I don't want to hear it, I want to see it …commit it to memory, so that when I'm home in my bed in Chicago…I won't feel so alone, but against my will, my head falls back on my shoulders, and my eyes drift shut.
With heightened determination, I open my eyes wide, and focus on…Oh my God…
Us…together.
So carnal…so incredible.
Our dicks are close…almost touching, both leaking from the tip, two shades of rosy red.
Jasper's stomach bobs - mine rolls.
His chest is slick and taut – mine heaves.
His moist lips are parted… I see the very bottom of his two top teeth, and the tip of a spongy pink tongue – my whole mouth feels dry.
His wide eyes never falter…they're bluer than I've ever seen – mine can hardly stay open.
He's a little thicker, and I'm a little longer…but together - we're perfect.
Amazingly different, yet exactly the same.
"Jasper…shit…"
I try to stave off my orgasm. I really do.
I pinch my eyes shut, clench my fists…even grit my teeth…anything…willing my disgustingly brittle temperance to finally make an appearance, and exert itself.
But it's futile.
My eyes pop open, and I groan with a mixture of keen frustration and exalted euphoria as cum catapults from my cock, splashing across my abs and chest in thick, creamy cords.
I barely keep my eyes open, but I do, because before my orgasm ceases, his begins. I watch his rapture detonate, flooding my chest with his own seed, crying out various obscenities.
I gaze at him the best I can through my lazy, blurred vision. He's panting, and watching…as far as I know he hasn't closed his eyes once.
Swirling two fingers in our cum, he brings it to my mouth, rubbing it along my swollen lips, then pushing through them. I open my mouth against the pressure, sucking his fingers into my mouth, never taking my eyes off of him.
The bitter tang surprises me at first, but it's not bad.
"Jesus. You're gonna fuckin' kill me Edward." I smile around his fingers, my tongue still twisting around his digits, searching for remnants of our salty cocktail.
I lay back further, his fingers sliding out of my mouth. I don't stop until my shoulder blades connect with the dash.
With a dreamy smile on my face, I finally allow myself to close my eyes.
Life doesn't get any better than this.
When my eyes drift open, Jasper's sitting in the driver's seat, and I'm sprawled along the bench with my head in his lap.
Huh?
His fingers fondle my hair, while he gazes at me with a lazy smile on his face.
I can't believe I fell asleep.
Having recalled the glorious happenings that led me to rudely crash on him, I sweep my hand over my covered chest, to find it dry and clean.
His smile fades, and we just look at each other for some time, not saying anything. The fact is that I'm too scared to right now. I feel very exposed, and very loved.
Not only is he not upset or disappointed that I'd fallen asleep on him, but he took care of me after I did. He cleaned me up, replaced my t-shirt, and repositioned me…all without waking me up.
I definitely decide to keep my mouth shut, not trusting my words to not reveal my true feelings. It's bad enough I can't keep the love out of my eyes.
"Welcome back, sleepy head," he teases, throatily, causing my dick to wake up too. His pants are still unbuttoned, but he's donned his outer shirt, leading me to believe he may have used his other to clean up our mess.
I grin, big and happy, stretching over top of him as much as I can, while he rubs soothing circles over my chest. "I can't believe I fell asleep. Did I miss the whole movie?"
"Yep. The credits rolled about ten minutes ago."
My finger skims over a small purple mark on the juncture between his neck and shoulder, hoping I'll have similar ones to fawn over when I get back to my room. "Why didn't you wake me up?"
"I was relaxin', and you looked so peaceful." He shrugs. "I would've in a few more minutes."
I hoist myself up to place a chaste kiss on his luscious mouth, but he has different ideas. His hand reaches under me, cradling the back of my neck. Dipping down, he kisses me good and thorough, leaving us both breathless when he finally pulls away.
"Thanks for asking me to come with you tonight. I had a really good time."
"Me too," I say, suddenly shy.
We drive back to the inn in silence, but we hold hands, the connection hopefully meaning that he's not regretting tonight…yet.
I'm surprised when he pulls up the driveway and gets out with me.
"I have to get some spare blankets from Rosalie."
Okay…so how does that statement not beg to be questioned?
"Oh."
I lay my hand on his arm, detaining him right before we get to the very well lit porch, not wanting to draw any attention to us. When we go inside I'll have to immediately flee to my room, for fear that Rosalie will read me as easily as a Dick and Jane book. Instead of reading 'See spot run' it'll read 'See, Jas make Ed cum…all over himself'.
"Will I see you tomorrow?"
And it's déjà vu.
I seem to realize this time is different, but I haven't forgotten what happened the last time I left him, and every time before that.
His vanishing act will be a thousand times worse after tonight.
I cling to him, and he senses my distress.
He gathers me in his embrace, smashing my chest against his. He holds on tight, but pulls back enough to look me straight in the eye. "I can't stay away from you anymore darlin'. Enough time's already been wasted; I won't be the cause of anymore.
"As a matter of fact, I'm drivin' up to Acadiana tomorrow to drop off a headboard and footboard that I made for some friends that got married not too long ago. Would you like to join me?"
He extends a hand between us to prevent my emphatic 'hell yeah'.
"Before you answer, you should know it's a half a day's ride and I'll probably be stayin' in a motel for the night." He looks unsure, and I recognize he's taking a huge leap of faith here.
My throat's clogged and I can only nod in answer.
He's not only asking me to accompany him, he's asking me to meet and hang out with his friends, then spend the night with him.
As if I'd say 'no'.
"We'll be leavin' about nine…is that okay?"
"Yes." I turn to walk away, but he grabs my arm, twisting me around, kissing me hard and fast.
"And it's not a date," he states, as he saunters into the inn, leaving me staring after him.
I watch him walk through the door, a humongous grin spreading wide across my face, because…yep, I love him, and this was so totally a date.
AN: A little reprieve from the drama. I don't know if you've realized that I'm packing a shitload of information into each chapter to keep it at 13 chapters. There was so much that you probably don't even remember what happened in the beginning of the chapter, so I'm providing you with this handy-dandy little recap to help in reviewing:
Three days; no Jasper :( - Razor burn; it was all of the above Ed…all of the above - Crazy-assed twins - mmmm, foooooood - ambush at Jasper's place - tree sex? Oh…um…m'kay - Ed's gotta title for his book; does anyone care? - the non-date including mediocre pizza and dual drive-in grope and tugs - did he really fall asleep? - no more disappearing Jasper – YAY! - the promise of a road trip/overnight stay.
So Acadiana is a long road trip, and lots of time to talk - what would you like Ed to ask Jas or vice versa?