Dirge Danorum

Chapter 28

"It looked just like him," Tyrian said stubbornly, looking to me desperately for confirmation. I shrugged and nodded.

Velvet stared at us as though she we were playing a prank. Grigor was rubbing his chin. Exile was sitting in a chair groaning; he'd hit the wall pretty hard when the thing threw him off as he tried to intervene. He'd been giving me some funny looks. Maybe wondering where I got the strength to grapple with such a monster. I was glad he was too polite to ask.

"I don't see what's so hard about this," I said. "It's obviously how it got into the compound. It's the Americans – there were drinkers down there. They were working on them. We already know they can bend light, so maybe the Americans taught them how to do it better. You know they've never given up on active camo."

"Or bioweapons," Grigor added.

I snapped my fingers. "Exactly." But none of us knew that it wasn't the American government we'd encountered down there, just a little private company that Velvet would clash with a year later, halfway across the world. But that's not my story.

"My dissection of the drinker indicated it had spawned recently," Grigor announced.

"You think the eggs have the smart camo, too?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I could not guess. But it is possible."

"We get a Zone full of these things, and nobody's going to trust anybody ever again. It makes getting close almost too easy for them."

"Or maybe it'll just popularize deodorant," Velvet said in Russian, grinning. Grigor snorted. Exile smiled. So did I, after a moment.

The case was closed; we knew what had breached our perimeter, and how. We would just have to be more careful. It was now the small hours of the morning, and we all needed to rest. Velvet and I were doing a great job ignoring one another, and for the moment, that was for the best. I think we both had a lot to think about, and that was what I planned to do. It wasn't like I was going to sleep now. Maybe she would.

I went out to the canteen and got a bottle of vodka, then strolled around the compound a bit. I quickly became restless and went out, and though the men guarding the gate stared, they didn't say anything. I was an officer, and already stories were circulating about the LT that had killed a drinker with his bare hands. If anyone could go out into the valley with a bottle instead of a weapon in the dark, it was me.

It had been impulsive, going after Velvet that way. Kind of like a dam breaking after a long period of stress, which was an apt analogy. But that was only my side of it, and my side wasn't what mattered. Velvet was the one I needed to think about. There was no question that she had been game, and there was no question that she liked me.

But I wasn't kidding myself; she didn't care about me the way I cared about her. She had been willing because it had been a long time for her, and because it felt like a way to acknowledge that the burden really had been lifted from her. But that wasn't all. It was also about driving a stake through the heart of her past.

If Velvet just gave herself to someone she'd only known a few weeks, that might be the last nail in the coffin of the person she used to be. A full reversal was what she wanted – to become the opposite of what she'd been before. She'd do it just to make a point, to prove how strong she was, and how little it all meant to her. None of it was true, it was a façade. I didn't want her to kill her past, I wanted her to make peace with it.

And it was true of me, too. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and there was something magnetic about her, something no man, and probably a lot of women, simply couldn't leave alone – so of course I wanted her. I did love her. But I wasn't in love with her. Thinking about it rationally, I knew that outside the Ukraine, a relationship between us wouldn't last five minutes.

I could have Velvet if I wanted her, but was that the best thing for her, or for me? No. I couldn't just hand her the opportunity to force these changes. If she had it her way, the dark Velvets would overrun the city, and every last trace of resistance would be gone, leaving nothing but cold, ruthless efficiency. No memories, no sentiment, no love, no feeling. I couldn't let that happen, and sleeping with her would just bring it closer.

The best thing I could do for Velvet was to leave her alone. Even take it a step further and put some emotional distance between us. Staying absolutely celibate was the smart move for her as long as she was in charge, it wouldn't be easy, and I wouldn't be doing her any favors if I made it harder on her. I'm supposed to be Buddhist, but I can appreciate the Judeo Christian notions of temptation and sin, and how they applied here.

It was time for me to do the right thing for Velvet. She wouldn't thank me for it; it might even hurt her, but that was short term. In the long run, if there was a long run, at least I would have done my part to make sure that she left the Zone with a little humanity left. My mission had changed; I was less interested in protecting Velvet's body, and more concerned with her soul. You just never know what's going to happen in this part of the world.

I couldn't bring myself to be cold to Velvet, but I could keep things professional, like we both needed to do, for our sake and for that of Freedom. A week ago I wouldn't have thought I could keep my hands off her, but I was learning new things every day.

This was another turning point. They come and go in the Zone, and a lot of the time you don't even notice. Maybe at the end of this year, I would ask Velvet on a date. I knew we'd both be different people by then, if we were both still alive. It wasn't impossible, but I knew better than to make those kinds of plans. You can't even take the next hour for granted; anything more than that is insanity.

Morning dawned on Freedom HQ. Stalkers from across the Zone were showing up now to capitalize on Velvet's export racket. Rarely did a day go by when a helicopter didn't touch down, either to ferry away artifacts or unload supplies. Velvet wasn't hoarding the influx of cash; she was spending it as fast as she earned it, keeping it on the move and pouring it into PR-related things, all intended to draw more people to Freedom. And it was working.

She offered high pay by Zone standards, and perks and living conditions that even Duty didn't offer. Guard towers went up. Freedom personnel wore good armor and carried better weapons. The ranks continued to grow. The fortifications became more sophisticated, and Grigor's laboratory became increasingly sophisticated, all of this in just over than a week since we claimed the facility.

Duty was silent. Velvet believed that meant there was fierce debate going on about what to do, but there was nothing to do but wait and let them make their move. Velvet had her pieces in place to the best of her ability, but we all knew there were holes in our security – big ones. All of Velvet's precautions couldn't protect us from a fight, and a fight was what it would come to if Duty chose not to accept the new Freedom.

I planned to spend the morning helping train the rookies, and the afternoon inside, playing Monopoly with the sisters and Exile. Exile would win, and I would wonder if he was cheating, just like yesterday. Things were awkward between Velvet and me now; she wasn't sure what I was up to. I wasn't giving her the cold shoulder, but I wasn't taking any opportunity to kiss her passionately, or steal her away to a private place. She didn't know what to think, and that seemed to hurt her feelings, but a part of her saw the wisdom of this course as well. It hurt to see her uncertain and vulnerable, but this was what had to happen. Things were getting better between us every day; I think now we were becoming more like real friends, and I couldn't complain about that. Lately she'd been giving me assignments kept me near the base, I think in the hopes that I'd make another move – she would, of course, never make one herself – but she was picking up on it now, and it was only a matter of time before she decided to make the most of one of her best men. And that was fine.

Things were secure at HQ; at least, as secure as anywhere in the Zone. I didn't need to be there all the time to protect her; she wasn't helpless, and the men around her certainly weren't. The men of Freedom were happy. The people who dealt with Freedom were happy. The men outside the Zone, whose arrangements with Velvet made all of this possible were happy.

The only ones not happy were Duty.