part three;
title: pain is inevitable while suffering is optional
summary: It's not impossible to feel again; a lost heart can always be found if there's someone to share it with.
pairing: Killua-centric, Gen
non-violence, which is the quality of the heart, cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
~gandhi
.
08.
Killua isn't sure why he's agreed to this meeting, or whatever it is. Everything in him tells him to just shoot him and forget, but he can't do that when he wants Killua, someone or something wants Killua, and suddenly, a week later, he finds himself lowering his suspicions (only a bit, only by a bit) and following the other boy (same age as him, almost—somewhere in his teens) out of his studio.
He doesn't trust him—Killua trusts nobody—but the other boy doesn't want to, and won't, hurt him. He's straightforward, without the intent to kill. And beyond that, through subtle aloofness, he meets Killua's gaze, firm and proud, but with a genuine expression of his own. It's not concern, Killua realizes; not curiosity, just emotions with no labels—these are emotions that Killua finds he's been craving without quite understanding them.
The feeling of change overwhelms him, hitting hard and fast, like that of a tidal wave. He wants something to happen, something to change, change him. It leaves him confused and baffled, because Killua has never let himself think too deeply about the concept of change very much. Now that he has, though, he isn't sure if he wants to stop.
.
09.
"I'm bringing him in," Gon whispers loudly into the walkie-talkie in his hand. 2149 stands about five meters away from him, hands in his pockets with a very bored expression on his face. You wouldn't think that he was a killer, Gon thinks, before there is a distinct screeching on the other end of the walkie-talkie.
Then the screeching stops and the line is silent for a long, long time.
"Leoriooooo," Gon whines.
Leorio's grin can be heard down the phone. "Since you asked so nicely," he sings.
"Kurapikaaaaaaaaa," Gon tries. There are sounds of struggling, followed by another screech, courtesy of Leorio, and then there is Kurapika's soothing voice.
"Sorry about him, he's been stuck inside all day; he had too much to drink last night and so the association wouldn't let him work. He's been complaining all day. But do bring the subject up, Gon—just ignore Leorio if he's being more of a hassle than he usually is."
Gon laughs and turns the walkie-talkie off; this marks the end of their exchange. Gon shows 2149 into the appropriate room and turns to head out; if Leorio is cranky, Gon can probably nag him into paying for lunch.
"Bye," he waves to 2149, who raises his head and stares back as though he's never had anyone say Goodbye to him before.
"Bye," he says back, soft and unsure. Gon looks at him for a moment more before deciding that he really isn't sure what to make of this.
.
10.
When Gon comes back with Leorio hanging off his shoulder, he finds 2149 sitting in his designated seat, eating a piece of toast.
"Hi," Gon greets, grinning.
2149 doesn't look up until he finishes chewing and swallows.
Leorio frowns. "No greeting? Rude brat. He looks younger than me!"
"Fully-functioning for twelve years," Gon reads aloud from his files.
"You make it sound like he's a robot or something, Gon—you really aren't suited to do this job. You got caught today didn't you?"
"I—"
"We're working together," 2149 says suddenly. "To kill people."
"What?" Gon says, the same time Kurapika narrows hie eyes and says, "We don't kill people."
2149 shrugs and takes another bite. "That's why you boss wants me to do it for you."
Gon frowns.
2149 looks at Gon, long and hard. "I'm Killua."
"I know," Gon says, grinning.
"Killua," Leorio repeats. "Odd name," he muses. He latches onto Killua's shoulders instead; Killua looks surprised, but only slightly. He doesn't shake the older man off (which, Gon has learned, is rather futile anyway, unless you distract him with magazines with women like Kurapika does) and looks, maybe even a little pleased at the contact.
Oh, Gon realizes, at that very moment. He's human—very human; vulnerable to his thoughts and to his emotions, too. Killua—Killua isn't just a number like all the rest.
He has a heart, and perhaps that's why the Boss wanted him.
to be continued.
A/N: This would have been up much, much later if it wasn't for Frog-kun. :'D I'm so sorry it's short, he was impatient and everything and I was being my usual lazy self. Oh dear.