To be very honest with myself one of the worst moments in my life was when Sirius went off to Hogwarts. It was not so much a matter of having to say goodbye to him but what all happened after that seemed to alter the course of my entire destiny. At the very least it was the start. Little did I know it then as I do now.

"Narcissa watch him," instructed my mother as we stood at the station to say goodbye.

"I will Auntie," assured Narcissa as she searched the crowds for whom any of us could only guess as Luscius Malfoy.

"Promise to write?" I asked in a slightly morose tone as Sirius stood practically bouncing on his fee. I could tell that Sirius was excited and couldn't wait to get onto the train. I wanted to be excited for him but all I could think of were the long hours alone with Kreacher.

It wasn't that I had anything against him, it was just a matter that Sirius was a lot more fun to be around. Kreacher did not really play exploding snap or other games nor was he inclined to break a few rules. Though I was against breaking rules most times I admit there was some fun to be said for it.

"Yeah I'll write," answered Sirius looking the other way with interest in what was going on around at the station rather than what I had to say.

I was a little put out that Sirius was so distracted but he was going to Hogwarts. Anyone in his shoes would be distracted.

Before long it was time to say goodbye as Sirius and Narcissa boarded the train though Narcissa was a bit preoccupied with Luscius rather than bidding farewell.

When we arrived home there was a certain vacant feeling to the house. Sadly before the end that would not be my only concern.

It was late into the night when I was awoken by my mother's shrieking. At first I assumed it was a matter that Sirius got up to some sort of mischief until I realized he was away at school. Knowing this caused me to get up from my bed and peak in on my mother and father sitting in the study.

My mother had a bit of parchment clasped in her hand shrieking, "You send a letter to that muggle loving headmaster! Gryffindor! It is NOT acceptable! Every member of the house of Black is in Slytherin and it makes NO difference for my son!"

I slipped away at that point for fear of being caught out of bed. When mother is riled up there is no stopping her wrath from spreading and it is not a pleasant thing to experience.

"Young master should find himself in bed," warned Kreacher, "Do not want mistress to him he doesn't."

I nodded in agreement as I slipped into my room. "You'll tell me everything about Sirius won't you?" I asked the house elf.

He responded, "Kreacher does what is asked of him young master." With that Kreacher bowed before answering to the call of my mother.

The next few days were not pleasant in the least. There were owls in and out of the house several howlers sent out as well. Hearing the relaying of them was bad enough, I can only imagine what they were like on the receiving end.

It was hard to think of why Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. It was the worst house to be sorted into. Sirius wasn't happy there was he?

I wrote several letters during that time to Sirius yet never received a reply. I knew Sirius had to be upset. I know I would be, not to mention Sirius had promised to write and yet he wasn't.

It took until October for me to receive an owl from Sirius.

Regs,

Been busy. I'm fine. Hogwarts is great you'll love it here! I've learned so much, can't wait to share. Halloween feast to get to

-Sirius

I admit that I was a little discouraged by such a not. I wrote a response to his note asking him if he was alright and how he was doing hoping for more details but I never received a response.

As a young boy of tem my imagination at the time ran away with me and I worried that Sirius had been hurt or worse by those he was forced to love with. In the end I blamed them for being the reason why my brother did not write.

Save for that one note, I did not hear from Sirius until the day he was to come home for Christmas break.

I pleaded to go to the station to meet up with Sirius I had to make sure he was alright.

I stood there at the station with father just waiting for the train to stop and Sirius to get off. The wait seemed to last for what felt like an eternity and I began to fret that my worst fears had come true until he stepped off the train with a very pallid look about him.

"There he is!" I pointed out relieved to see that he was alright. I wanted to run to see him but father kept his hand on my shoulder as very proper and stiff greetings were exchanged.

"Sirius," spoke father very curtly.

"Father," answered Sirius in a similar manner before he turned to me and said, "Regulus."

"Sirius," was my simple yet disappointed reply.

"Do you have your things?" asked father of my brother.

"Yes sir, I do," came Sirius' response.

"Good then let's go," he answered stiffly before turning to go. When his back was turned Sirius winked at me and held a fleeting smile. It was good to have him back and to know that he was alright, remaining my same brother. It seemed like that fact would never change.

That evening it was nearly impossible to have any conversation with Sirius. The instant we arrived him mother wanted him to wash away the mudblood stench which I never could smell. Then it was a proper meal with hardly any conversation. After which I was sent to bed.

I had been in bed no more than an hour when I heard my room door creak open to find Sirius there at it.

"Not asleep already are you?" he asked incredulously.

"No," I whispered back sitting up.

"I didn't think you would be," answered Sirius with an heir of confidence that was typical of him. He came into my room and took a seat on my bed.

"You all right?" I asked wanting to know if he really was okay as I never had gotten the chance to ask before.

"Sure why wouldn't I be?" asked my brother in surprise. "You been okay?" he asked.

"Been alright," I answered with a shrug looking away. I didn't want Sirius to that I had been miserable, worried about him never getting letters from him.

I didn't want to ask about it yet I did, "Why didn't you write?" I blurted out.

"What?" asked Sirius surprised by my question.

"I wrote," he protested.

"Once," I stated, frustration building in me. I didn't want it to but it did.

I think Sirius could sense my frustration because his next words were surprising.

"I'm sorry Regs," he apologized. It was one of the very few times I heard those words escape his lips.

"Live at Hogwarts is crazy," he admitted, "One thing after the other and on top of it the entire family practically hates me."

"Hates you?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah for getting placed in Gryffindor. You know Alecto won't talk to me either. She told me so in a letter."

Sirius frowned as I stared at him in shock.

"I don't hate you," I offered meekly.

At this Sirius smiled me. "Even when I forget to write?"

I nodded my head.

"How about when I give him a severe beating?" he asked jokingly as he jumped me.

It was not until the time of the annual holiday ball that I truly saw what Sirius was talking about when it came to his not being favored any more.

It seemed that every party he was the focus and center of attention and that night Sirius rarely came to anyone's attention save for phrases such as, "Shame that Sirius had such a poor sorting," which was followed by statements such as how they would pull their child out if such a thing happened or a question about if there was anything to be done.

Then it was surprising to see that none of our cousins really acknowledged Sirius. I was spoken to but Sirius was ignored though I found myself standing right next to him most of the night. The worst came when those who were family friends and acquaintances who were already in Hogwarts jeered at Sirius asking him what he was going to do with out his friends to back him up. I was shocked. It was the quietest that I had ever seen Sirius in my life. It truly seemed like the night just dragged on.

When the party was over and Sirius and I were sent to bed; I found myself sneaking over to Sirius room.

"You all right?" I asked peeking in on Sirius looking at some picture that he quickly put away.

"I'm fine," answered Sirius. "I'm just tired go back to bed."

"You sure?" I asked.

"I said go back to bed!" snapped Sirius.

I quietly slipped back into bed that night feeling horrid, though the next morning it was as if nothing had happened. Things went smoothly for the rest of the break. Almost too smoothly considering that Sirius broke fewer rules than usual.